words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is holding a book as she, Rachel, and Monica drink some tea as Chandler looks on.]
Phoebe: Okay, so when youre done with your tea Ill look at your leaves and tell you your fortune.
Phoebe: Oh yeah, Ive done it for years. I actually stopped because I was so accurate. Yknow, and-and yknow, one of the great joys of life is its-its wondrous unpredictability. Yknow? And also tea tends to give me the trots.
Phoebe: Okay. (Looks at the leaves.) Ooh, I see a ladder. (Checks the book) Which can mean either a promotion or a violent death.
Phoebe: Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm, whos next?
Phoebe: Okay. (Reads the leaves) Umm, oh! Okay, I see a circle.
Phoebe: Oh! (Checking the book) Which can either mean youre having a baby or youre gonna make a scientific discovery!
Phoebe: Umm Wow, all right. (Checks the book.) Wow! Yay! Ooh, Im gonna meet a guy! And really soon! And hes gonna be the man of my dreams. Probably not the guy I had a dream about last night. (Points at Chandler.)
Phoebe: (noticing a guy sitting by the green post looking at her) Oh wait a second you guys for the last couple weeks Ive been that guy everywhere I go. We take the same bus. We go to the same bookstore, the same dry cleaners; maybe hes the tea guy. (He gets up to leave, and smiles at Phoebe.)
Chandler: Phoebe, did you see that?! He totally checked you out! He is so cute! (Looking at his tea.) Mine has a picture of The Village People, what does that mean?
Monica: Tea gives Phoebe the trots.
[Scene: A newsstand, Phoebe is looking at a magazine as the guy from before walks by and picks up a newspaper.]
Phoebe: Oh hello.
Phoebe: Oh Jim, Jim Nelson Im Phoebe, Phoebe Buffay. We certainly have been seeing a lot of each other lately.
Phoebe: Well, maybe we will. (Starts to walk away.) Oh! (She turns around and the exchange information.)
[Scene: A restaurant, Phoebe and Jim are on their date.]
Phoebe: Isnt it funny how we kept running into each other? Its as if someone really wants us to be together.
Phoebe: Oh, witty banter. Well done.
Phoebe: Oh okay, well Im a masseuse, and I used to work at this place
Phoebe: I-I-I like, I like parties.
Phoebe: Yeah I guess, a little.
Phoebe: (a little freaked out) So! Umm, anyway I-I lived in New York, someone wildly I guess, for ummWell since I was fourteen.
Phoebe: Oh stop it.
Phoebe: Okay. Umm look, youre coming on a little strong. But Im going to give you the benefit of the doubt, because it seems the universe really wants to be together. So, why dont we just start over okay? And you can just tell me about yourself.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: Oh my God!
Phoebe: Wow! You do?
Phoebe: All right. (Gets up and walks out.)
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe and Monica are walking down it.]
Phoebe: Oh there it is.
Phoebe: I know, but that creep that I went on that date with goes to there so I have to find a new one. I also have to find a new video store, a new bank, a new adult bookstore, a new grocery store
Phoebe: A new grocery store. The universe said I was going to meet a nice guy and thats what they gave me? (Looks up) When I get up there Im going to kick some ass.
Monica: Dont worry Phoebe, youre gonna meet someone. If I can meet a great guy, so can you.
Phoebe: Yeah, we both can. And we both will.
Phoebe: Oh, you didnt have to come in with me.
Phoebe: Okay.
Guy: (To Phoebe) Oh, excuse me! I think you dropped s (looks at Phoebe.) Wow!
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: Oh yeah well, Im sorry about that too, but what are you going to do?
Phoebe: A little. (She turns around and looks up.) (To the universe) Now youre talking.
Phoebe: I-I-Id love to. Let me just tell my friend.
Phoebe: (looking around) She mustve left.
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there. Ross working on crossword puzzle, starts humming theme from The Odd Couple. Chandler joins in, followed by Monica and Phoebe, then the whole gang. Ross starts humming theme from I Dream Of Jeannie.]
Phoebe: Umm, well hes very dashing, y'know, and umm, very, very sophisticated, and he doesnt speak any English, but according to his translator, he totally gets me.
PHOEBE: Wow, look at these prices.
Phoebe: Chuck Woolery?
RACHEL: But what about Phoebe?
Phoebe: And call me!
Frank: (entering with his fianc�e Alice, who is obviously much, much older than he is) Hey! Hey! This is ah, my fianc�e, Mrs. Knight. (he points out Phoebe to her)
PHOEBE: Yeah, ok. You probably did everything you could.
PHOEBE: Really?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. Ok, thank you.
(Joey gives him the okay symbol, and Ross rushes towards him to be stopped by Chandler. Meanwhile, Phoebe goes over to the snack table as some guy, which turns out to be Ursula's fianc�e Eric, walks in and smacks her butt.)
Phoebe: What else?
Phoebe: Hello handsome. (Sees Ursula over her shoulder) Oh God. (Walks away in shame as they kiss.) Oh look at you two. So when did you guys meet?
Phoebe: (just Phoebe) No, answer his.
MIKE: All right.� I'll do it.� (Phoebe gives the thumbs-up sign to Rachel.)� But really, how much dirtier can it get?
PHOEBE: Oh yeah, so you know D?
Phoebe: Wait! Oh wait! (she takes off a ring that was already on her left ring finger. After that Mike starts to kneel again, but then...) Oh no! (She was wearing rings on all her fingers and her thumb, and takes all of these off.)
Ursula: (disgusted) Hang on. (She goes into her apartment and slams the door in Phoebes face.)
Phoebe: Oh, I missed you so much! (she kisses Mike)
PHOEBE: (singing/screaming) You're all invited to bite me!
Phoebe: Ok, you guys, I don’t mean to make things worse, but umm, I don’t want to live with Rachel anymore.
PHOEBE: Oh, hi.
PHOEBE: Thank you.
PHOEBE: Really? From who?
PHOEBE: Yeah. Here you go.
Phoebe: Uh, only if you have the hiccups too. Yeah, the pictures are for you, the water and the chocolate is for me. I just didnt feel like getting up. Okay, Im gonna show you a picture of Ross. Okay? And youre going to remember all of the bad things about him. All right? Really focus on his flaws.
Phoebe: Yeah! Oh, c'mere, Marcel! Oh, Marcel, c'mere!
PHOEBE: Better. Yeah.
PHOEBE: You wanna try it again?
PHOEBE: That's too much. Sorry.
Phoebe: Hey you guys! Chandler's coming and he says he has, like, this incredible news, so when he gets here, we could all act like, you know...
[Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Yeah! I mean, I don't know. I was just , I was looking, I was looking in his eyes and I was just thinking: Oh my God! It's David. David's here. He's just, he's so irresistible.
Phoebe: Ooh! Ooh! And I brought Operation! But, um, I lost the tweezers, so we can't operate. But we can prep the guy!
Phoebe: Maybe you could be my roommate!
PHOEBE: Mmmm hmmm.
Phoebe: But ifno look, okay. These jerks might not care about you, but the universe does! And that says a lot!
Phoebe: Theres a skylight?! (Runs to see and yells from the bedroom.) Wow!!
Phoebe: Okay, Im going to take him back to Wendys.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there as Joey enters.]
PHOEBE: Ok, do you know A minor?
Phoebe: Yeah, last Saturday. Wow! She was the first black man to fly solo across the Atlantic. (Chandler and Monica look puzzled) Oh, wait a minute, I read the wrong one.
Monica: Phoebe, your face is fine! Come on, none of this stuff is going to happen to you! Stop being such a baby!
Phoebe: Because its Arabian princess day at work! Okay?! Leave me alone!
Phoebe: All right, dont freak out! Okay? I-I will help you. How long before you have to leave?
Phoebe: Eeee!!! Eee!! Eee!!
Ross: (imitating Parker) This room! This night! That waiter! His shoes! I must take a mental picture! (He backs into someone.) Ooh sorry (He looks behind him then notices its Phoebe then stops his impression.)
Phoebe: A dollar?
Phoebe: Really? So she said, she didnt wanna live with me anymore?
Phoebe: I can say I told you so but shes kinda doing that for me.
Phoebe: Okay, but, well, before you say no, my friend Susanne is entering her kid and compared to Emma she's a real dog!
Phoebe: (gasps) Oh, you so would! Oh, you should get that anyway. (They both look at her.) Like for clubbing.
Phoebe: (sings) I can't believe what I'm hearing here...
Phoebe: Come on. It doesn't taste bad.
Phoebe: Hmm, they just dont make em like that anymore!
Phoebe: Why don't you turn them inside ou...
Phoebe: Ooh, is it someone in this building? Is it that tall guy from the first floor?
Phoebe: All right, Ill see you downstairs then.
Phoebe: It's too soon to tell. She's resting, which is a good sign.
Phoebe: (reading from her book) Mon (Pause as she restarts) Marcia and Chester are planning on seeing a movie on Sunday night. Marcia thinks theyre supposed to meet at six, Chester thinks its at seven.
Phoebe: Well, he came in for a massage and everything was fine until... (The flashback shows Paulo lying face down on the massage table and slowly moving his hands up Phoebe's legs and grabbing her butt.)
Phoebe: Well, nobody wants a ghost. But youve got one, because the house is sitting on an ancient Indian burial ground.
Phoebe: Good. It's just so hard, it's hard for me to ... let them go. I guess it just brings back memories, you know, from ... when I gave birth to my brother's triplets and I had to give them up. (Mike is shocked) I haven't told you about that yet, have I?
Phoebe: No, no, he hasn't been around.
Phoebe: Look, she only suspects something okay? She doesnt know for sure, so just throw her off the track.
PHOEBE: Hey.
[Phoebe enters.]
GANG: Hey. Hi Phoebe.
PHOEBE: This is my father, this is a picture of my dad.
[Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Yeah, not the one I had my eye on.
PHOEBE: Just, you know, to see... um.
PHOEBE: Oh God.
Phoebe: No, no, no, no, no... It's not... it's not... i'ts not as bad as it looks... really. I was just saying goodbye to an old friend.
PHOEBE: Oh.
PHOEBE: [realizes] Oh.
PHOEBE: Hey.
Phoebe: Oh. Okay, well I-I was kinda hoping that I would just be alone yknow to think about my mom and her suicide.
PHOEBE: Yeah, I just don't buy it.
Joey: Hey! Well I hope it goes better than the last time you did it for that girl downstairs, remember? (Phoebe glares at him.)
PHOEBE: Wow, this is it, I'm gonna meet my dad. This is like the biggest thing ever, huh.
Phoebe: Thats it! 25 percent? That means thats its like 75 percent chance of no baby at all!
PHOEBE: Uh-huh.
Phoebe: Oh come on, they can be in the same room.
PHOEBE: OK.
PHOEBE: Mailbox.
Rachel: Phoebe and I saw Chandler with a blonde woman today outside on the street and then we followed them to a house in Westchester.
Phoebe: That man across the street just kicked that pigeon! (Rachel enters.) Oh!
PHOEBE: Yeah?
PHOEBE: You guuuyys.
Phoebe: W-wI justits thatI haveyknow I have-I have an appointment. And its very important.
GANG: Phoebs. [Phoebe leaves]
PHOEBE: Oh! Oh my god. This is so exciting. How much am I gonna get?
PHOEBE: Just from a, from a long time ago. Is he here?
Rachel: Ok. (Phoebe starts to walk in the opposite direction though. Rachel sees and follows her) Wha...? where? Where are you going?
Phoebe: No, no, it's not your fault. You know it's partly my fault, 'cause I made you quit cold turkey. Sorry, no. Okay, well, I mean, I can't date you anymore, 'cause your, you know (in a high pitched voice) Wow! But um, but I will definitely, definitely help you get over my sister. Okay, stalk me for a while. Huh? Yeah, and, and, and, I'll be like an Ursula patch.
[Phoebe and Rachel look uncomfortable.]
Phoebe: No, what's more important, your friends or money?
DUNCAN: I love you Phoebe. [they hug and kiss]
Rachel: Yeah! That's Phoebe. That's Phoebe. You know, she just wants them all! It's like she's a nympho!