words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is holding a book as she, Rachel, and Monica drink some tea as Chandler looks on.]
Phoebe: Okay, so when youre done with your tea Ill look at your leaves and tell you your fortune.
Phoebe: Oh yeah, Ive done it for years. I actually stopped because I was so accurate. Yknow, and-and yknow, one of the great joys of life is its-its wondrous unpredictability. Yknow? And also tea tends to give me the trots.
Phoebe: Okay. (Looks at the leaves.) Ooh, I see a ladder. (Checks the book) Which can mean either a promotion or a violent death.
Phoebe: Uh-hmm. Uh-hmm, whos next?
Phoebe: Okay. (Reads the leaves) Umm, oh! Okay, I see a circle.
Phoebe: Oh! (Checking the book) Which can either mean youre having a baby or youre gonna make a scientific discovery!
Phoebe: Umm Wow, all right. (Checks the book.) Wow! Yay! Ooh, Im gonna meet a guy! And really soon! And hes gonna be the man of my dreams. Probably not the guy I had a dream about last night. (Points at Chandler.)
Phoebe: (noticing a guy sitting by the green post looking at her) Oh wait a second you guys for the last couple weeks Ive been that guy everywhere I go. We take the same bus. We go to the same bookstore, the same dry cleaners; maybe hes the tea guy. (He gets up to leave, and smiles at Phoebe.)
Chandler: Phoebe, did you see that?! He totally checked you out! He is so cute! (Looking at his tea.) Mine has a picture of The Village People, what does that mean?
Monica: Tea gives Phoebe the trots.
[Scene: A newsstand, Phoebe is looking at a magazine as the guy from before walks by and picks up a newspaper.]
Phoebe: Oh hello.
Phoebe: Oh Jim, Jim Nelson Im Phoebe, Phoebe Buffay. We certainly have been seeing a lot of each other lately.
Phoebe: Well, maybe we will. (Starts to walk away.) Oh! (She turns around and the exchange information.)
[Scene: A restaurant, Phoebe and Jim are on their date.]
Phoebe: Isnt it funny how we kept running into each other? Its as if someone really wants us to be together.
Phoebe: Oh, witty banter. Well done.
Phoebe: Oh okay, well Im a masseuse, and I used to work at this place
Phoebe: I-I-I like, I like parties.
Phoebe: Yeah I guess, a little.
Phoebe: (a little freaked out) So! Umm, anyway I-I lived in New York, someone wildly I guess, for ummWell since I was fourteen.
Phoebe: Oh stop it.
Phoebe: Okay. Umm look, youre coming on a little strong. But Im going to give you the benefit of the doubt, because it seems the universe really wants to be together. So, why dont we just start over okay? And you can just tell me about yourself.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: Oh my God!
Phoebe: Wow! You do?
Phoebe: All right. (Gets up and walks out.)
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe and Monica are walking down it.]
Phoebe: Oh there it is.
Phoebe: I know, but that creep that I went on that date with goes to there so I have to find a new one. I also have to find a new video store, a new bank, a new adult bookstore, a new grocery store
Phoebe: A new grocery store. The universe said I was going to meet a nice guy and thats what they gave me? (Looks up) When I get up there Im going to kick some ass.
Monica: Dont worry Phoebe, youre gonna meet someone. If I can meet a great guy, so can you.
Phoebe: Yeah, we both can. And we both will.
Phoebe: Oh, you didnt have to come in with me.
Phoebe: Okay.
Guy: (To Phoebe) Oh, excuse me! I think you dropped s (looks at Phoebe.) Wow!
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: Oh yeah well, Im sorry about that too, but what are you going to do?
Phoebe: A little. (She turns around and looks up.) (To the universe) Now youre talking.
Phoebe: I-I-Id love to. Let me just tell my friend.
Phoebe: (looking around) She mustve left.
Phoebe: Yeah, she was just an agent.
Phoebe: Well, not for a little while. Let's just give him a few days to get used to everything else.
Phoebe: Is it okay if I leave this stuff here 'til Rachel's birthday party?
Phoebe: Well its justits one of those situations that I just hate. Yknow? A massage client gave me three tickets to the Helmet-Pelts exhibit at the Morgan Chase museum.
Joey: Hey Phoebe.
Phoebe: Hey. Everything ok?
Phoebe: (interrupting) What are you doing?!! Why are you defending him?! Just get me another doctor! One who is not crazy and who is not Fonzie!
Phoebe: Because a promise between friends means never having to give a reason. (she leaves)
Monica: Damnit Phoebe! How did you even call him?
Ross: ALL RIGHT!! Phoebe now come on! Will you please tell me what it is I did that mad you so mad at me!
Monica: (answers the phone) Hello? (Listens.) (To Phoebe) It's Joey. (Phoebe's proud of herself.) (To Joey) I'm so glad you called! Chandler told me what happened. Y'know he's really upset about it.
Phoebe (doing Estelle): Joey, it’s Estelle.
(Phoebe tips it upside down, and a shoe falls out)
[Scene: Joey’s apartment. He’s there and Phoebe comes in.]
Phoebe: I dont know! (frantically points at Monica)
Phoebe: (picking up her bag) All right, so promise you're gonna wait for her to call you?
Phoebe: Well I dont, I dont have a mother so often I forget that other people
Phoebe: Well, I didn't think I should just drop by...
Phoebe: Oh, this is like the best day ever. Ever! You guys might get back together, Monica and Chandler are getting their baby, there are chicks and ducks in the world again! Oh, I feel like I'm in a musical! (Singing) "Daa - raa... When the sun comes up, bright and beaming! And the moon comes..."
Phoebe: Anyway, you did what you had to do. I'm okay.
Phoebe: Okay, this is going to be harder than I thought. Umm, lets try some uh, aversion therapy.
Phoebe: Man, tough week for Estelle!
Phoebe: That's okay Rachel. I'm not judging you; that's just who you are. Me. I'm more free y'know? I run like I did when I was a kid, cause that's the only way it's fun. Y'know, I mean didnt you ever run so fast you thought your legs were gonna fall off? Y'know, like when you were like running towards the swings or running away from Satan? (Rachel looks confused) The neighbor's dog.
Phoebe: Thanks a lot! I just got that jerk out of my mind!
[Scene: Phoebes Herbal Guys office, Ross is there about his thing. Ross is looking around the exam room, and he goes over to a large bank of drawers, pulls one out and almost spills it as the herbalist, Guru Saj, enters.]
Phoebe: Hi. I just had the worst anniversary ever.
Phoebe: I cant follow Ross! Itd be like those bicycle ridding chimps that followed The Beetles. No.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe (watching the food on the table): Wow, this is quite a spread! (pause) What is all this stuff?
(They wrestle on the couch for a little while until Monica gets the upper hand and pulls Rachel off of the couch by her sock. Monica removes Rachel's sock and starts beating her with it.)This leads to wrestling on the floor. This finally angers Phoebe.)
[Scene: Monica's apartment. Phoebe and Ross enter the room.]
Phoebe: Oh... Mike's sister just invited me to a party tonight, he's gonna be there. And she was like "Oh, don't worry! I asked him. He's totally ok with seeing you!". So now I have to go so he'll think that I'm totally ok with seeing him!
Phoebe: Uh-hmm.
Phoebe (to Rachel): You doing ok?
Phoebe: I know.
Monica: I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Phoebe. It's just a little shorter than what we had discussed.
Phoebe: It's a cotton swab with a bit of my saliva on it, so that if they perfect the cloning process while you are over there, you can use the DNA to create your own Pheebs!
[Scene: Guest room. Rachel and Phoebe are sitting on the bed.]
Rachel: I love you Phoebe.
(Phoebe and Rachel enter the living room.)
Phoebe: Ok.
Ross: (to Phoebe) Hey. What was that all about?
(Joey looks at him, Phoebe tries not to smile, and Chandler is shocked.)
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! You just take a big, big swing. Now, dont hold back. (He dons his protective helmet (Why, I have no clue.) and Phoebe picks up a wooden baseball bat and starts to swing as Chandler and Monica enter.)
Phoebe: Uhu, uhu, well, then, great. If you love it, I love it.
Phoebe: Oh, hey, Mon, do you still have your like old blouses and dresses from high school?
Phoebe: (from the other side of the room) Yeah!
[Scene: Max and David's lab, David is explaining something to Phoebe with the aid of a whiteboard.]
Phoebe: Ross, if you're this upset, you should go and talk to her.
Phoebe: Ok, I'll fight for her. Ok! Oh, wait, oh I just realized... if I do that, that means you don't get her.
Monica: (in a sexy voice) Hello, Chandler. (Phoebe has a huge smile on her face.)
Phoebe: Tell me about it.
Phoebe and Joey: Yeah.
Phoebe: All right, I think I'm gonna head out.
Phoebe: How was your night?
Phoebe: I thought I was going home to go to bed, but I'm sensing there's something less fun for me to do here.
Phoebe: Yeah, you got to get to the hospital.
Phoebe: All right, ready?
Phoebe: Well, do you see any babies?
Phoebe: (smiling, raising her hand) Who's hoping the hand raising thing is still cute enough that you won't hate me?
Phoebe: All right, here it goes...
Phoebe: (awed) You have the power to do that?
Phoebe: What's that?
Phoebe: Yes.
Phoebe: Oh, you’re right! I was just kidding about Rachel. Babysitting is a gas!
Phoebe: Morning.
Phoebe: That is the rule, though.
Phoebe: I did not see that coming.
Phoebe: Guess what? You're almost an uncle!
Phoebe: What's that smile? Did something happen with you two?
Ross: Phoebe, you were sure Ben was gonna be a girl.
Phoebe: Have you seen him throw a ball?
Phoebe: But do you wanna get back together?
Phoebe: Guess we'll never know how it ends.
Phoebe: (screaming) YAY!
Phoebe: (quietly) Yay!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross, Joey, and Phoebe are watching a movie as Chandler comes in from his bedroom.]
(Joey and Phoebe leave.)
Phoebe: Tips not included.
Phoebe: Ross, you've got to tell her how you feel!
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Phoebe and Joey are there.]
Phoebe: Can't a girl finish a song around here?
Phoebe: Unbelievable!
Phoebe: Hey, what are you working on?
Phoebe: Okay. HeyOoh, cool sheets! (Notices the sheet over the table.)
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: (disappointed) Oh, good for you.
Phoebe: Hey. So, did you talk to Rachel?
Phoebe: How sweet! Oh, is that the baby?
(Mike takes off his coat to give to Phoebe and the steel band plays "The Wedding Song")
Phoebe: Listen, Mike, if you were Swedish and you were saying the word "lorkins" what flowers would that be?
Phoebe: Uh, Joe?
Phoebe: Yeah, did she sound happy about it? 'Cause my friend Ethel's baby was born with a teeny, tiny beard.
Phoebe: Hey! What do you have there?
Phoebe: Honey, that's gorgeous!
Phoebe, Ross, Rachel: Hey.
Monica: Okay, now this one is rare, this one is medium well! Now go-go-go! (Phoebe enters) Hey Phoebe!
Mike: (To Phoebe) I want one.
Phoebe: One? How about a whole bunch?
[cut to Monica and Phoebe in the kitchen]