words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone except Phoebe is there. Bonnie is telling them of her sex-capades.]
Phoebe: (entering, hurridly) Hey, you guys! Look what I found! Look at this! (She hands Chandler a picture) Thats my Moms writing! Look.
Chandler: (reading the back of the picture) Me and Frank and Phoebe, Graduation 1965.
Phoebe: Y'know what that means?
Phoebe: No-no, thats not, thats not me Phoebe, thats her pal Phoebe. According to her high school yearbook, they were like B.F.F. (Ross and Bonnie look at her quizzically) Best Friends Forever.
Phoebe: I know! So this woman probably could like have all kinds of stories about my parents, and she might even know like where my Dad is. So I looked her up, and she lives out by the beach. So maybe this weekend we could go to the beach?
Phoebe: So great! Okay! Tomorrow were gonna drive out to Montauk.
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are waiting for Phoebe to arrive with the cab.]
(Phoebe drives up.)
Phoebe: Oh, I am having the best karma this week. First, I find this woman who knew my parents, and then my client with the fuzzy back gives me his beach house.
Phoebe: Oh, I wasnt talking about his karma.
Phoebe: And this time, theyve ganged up to form one giant, super hat.
Phoebe: Oy!!
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, Bob said there might be flood damage.
[Scene: Phoebe Sr. house, she is a real estate agent and is trying to sell a house over the phone. By the way, its still raining outside.]
Phoebe Sr: Well, yes, its kindve an unusual house. It has umm, three beautiful bedrooms and ah, no baths. But y'know, the ocean is right there.
Phoebe: (at the door) Knock, knock, knock.
Phoebe Sr: (on phone) Ah, oh, hang on a second. (to Phoebe) Come in, come in. (on phone) All right, so think about it, and call me back. (hangs up)
Phoebe: (entering) Are you ah, Phoebe Abott?
Phoebe Sr: Ahh, yes.
Phoebe: Hi Phoebe Abott, Im your best friends daughter!
Phoebe Sr: Youre Erwins daughter?!
Phoebe: No, I-I mean your-your old best friend, here. (hands her the picture) Lily, from high school. Remember?
Phoebe Sr: Oh gosh, Lily, yes. Of course I remember Lily. I... Then you must be?
Phoebe: (points to herself) Phoebe. (points to her) Phoebe. Phoebe, yeah. She named me after you I guess.
Phoebe Sr: Uh-huh. Wow! Well, look! Theres Frank. (points to the picture.)
Phoebe: Yes!! Yes! Yes! Yes!! Thats my Dad, thats Frank! Yeah! Im sorry Im getting all flingy.
Phoebe Sr: Take it easy--if you want, theres cookies on the counter, or, or--sangria! (jumps up) I can make sangria!
Phoebe: No-no, sorry. Cookies are good, thanks.
Phoebe Sr: Oh.
Phoebe: (goes and gets some cookies) Well, so, umm, anyway umm, Ive been, Ive been looking for my Father, and umm, have you heard from him, or seen him?
Phoebe Sr: Oh no, I-Im sorry, I guess we lost track of everybody after high school.
Phoebe: (disappointed) Oh, okay. Well, so tell me everything about my parents. Everything.
Phoebe Sr: Ohh, well. Y'know we were always together, in fact the had a nickname for the three of us.
Phoebe: Oh, what? What was it?
Phoebe Sr: The three losers. Oh, poor Lily. (Phoebe notices a picture on the fridge, takes it, and puts it in her pocket.) Ohh, y'know I-I heard about what happened, that must have been just terrible for you, losing your mother that way.
Phoebe: (happily) Yeah, no, it was great.
Phoebe: (entering) Oh, hey!
Phoebe: Oh, so, how are we doing?
Monica: (to Phoebe) So whats Phoebe like?
Phoebe: Im kind, caring, and sweet. Whats Monica like?
Monica: Ah no, the other Phoebe, the one you went to go see.
Phoebe: Ohh, I think she knows where my Dad is.
Phoebe: She was acting, she was pretending like she hasnt heard from him on years, but I found this picture on her fridge, and look (shows Monica)! Isnt this what he would look like now?
Monica: (gasps) Totally familiar. (Phoebe shows the rest of them.)
Phoebe: I dont know, but were having dinner tomorrow night, so I figured, shes gonna tell me then. Y'know maybe she just wanted to give him time to, buy me presents, I dont know! So, youre all bored?
Phoebe: All right, Im gonna close my eyes and point to someone, and you, whoever I point has to come up with something fun for us to do, and we have to do it.
Phoebe: Okay.
(They do so, and Phoebe gets in the middle, closes her eyes, and starts spinning in a circle.)
Phoebe: Okay. (Starts to spin) Ooh, y'know we could just do this. (She stops at Chandler)
Phoebe: Monica, if you get five cool points, you get to make somebody take off one item of clothing. It hasnt happened yet, but were all very excited.
Phoebe: Come on, take em off!!
Phoebe: Shhh! Shhhh! Joeys asleep.
Phoebe: After he passed out, we put the sand around him to keep him warm.
[Scene: The beach house, at night. Phoebe is hangs up the phone, and gently pushes one of the stools over.]
Phoebe: She cancelled! My namesake cancelled on me!
Phoebe: Yeah, she clamed she had to go out of town suddenly. Shes avoiding me, she doesnt want to tell me where my Father is. She knows, and she wont tell me.
Phoebe: Yeah, well, dont Aww Pheebs, that sucks! me yet. (she starts to leave)
Phoebe: Well, shes out of town so, theres gotta be something in her house that tells me where my Father is.
Phoebe: Well, are any of those people here?!
Phoebe: Okay, look I-I-I do something nice, okay? Ill-Ill fill her ice trays.
[Scene: Phoebe Sr.s house, Phoebe is breaking in through a window.]
Phoebe: Ow! My ass. Okay. Okay. (She manages to climb completely inside and the window slams shut.) Oh, shhh!
(She starts walking across the darkened room and hits her head on a wind chime hanging from the ceiling, to stop it from making a noise she grabs it and Shhhs it. She goes into the kitchen and finds Phoebe Sr.s appointment book, to read it she opens the freezer. Just as she starts to read, Phoebe Sr. jumps out from her bedroom with a coat hanger, startling Phoebe.)
Phoebe: No! No!! Its me! Its me! I-I didnt want to make any noise!
Phoebe Sr: Then don't break in!!
Phoebe: Im sorry.
Phoebe Sr: What are you doing here?!
Phoebe: I-I, came to fill your ice cube trays.
Phoebe Sr: What?!
Phoebe: Umm, okay, okay, look. I took this picture from your fridge. Okay, because I know that this is my Father. Yeah, this is Frank Buffay and you are standing right there next to him. Now, look I deserve to know where I came from. All right? So if you can help me find my Father then you should! Otherwise, youre just mean! (pause) So, just tell me the truth!
Phoebe Sr: All right, the man in the picture is Chuck Magioni.
Phoebe: My Father is Chuck Magioni?
Phoebe Sr: No, no, thats just Chuck Magioni, I-I sold him a house last year! And Im very sorry, but I dont know where your Father is, and thats the truth.
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe Sr: But umm, youre right. I think that a person should know where they come from. Wh-which is why I ah, (pause) ahh, (pause) okay. Im your mother.
Phoebe: Heh?
Phoebe Sr: Y'know I wanted to tell you yesterday, but I just, I kinda felt all floopy, and...
(At that Phoebes eyes open in shock.)
Phoebe: Oh my God! Is that him? (She points at someone.)
Phoebe: I hope its you.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe enters to find Rachel still packing.]
Phoebe: Yes!!! Oh!!
Phoebe: Still.
Phoebe: Hey Rachel?
Phoebe: Uh-hmm.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is bringing Rachel some coffee.]
Rachel: Yeah but Phoebe
Phoebe: (gets up and starts to leave) We want the last six years back!!
Phoebe: Oh! Well, if thats what you want
Rachel: Ohh! No way Phoebe! I want to be Monicas!
Phoebe: Oh I know.
Phoebe: You dont play the oboe!
Phoebe: Oh, thank you so much! (They hug.) Okay.
Phoebe: No, youre too late!!! She already took out the trash!!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Chandler, and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]
Phoebe: Happy Holidays. Feliz Navidad. Allo, and Merry Christmas. (A man put some change in her bucket.) Ohh thank you sir. Here's some joy. (She waves her hand up and down as if she is spreading joy.)
Phoebe: What are you talking about?
Phoebe: See? This is exactly why you shouldnt lie!
Joey: Okay, Phoebe
Phoebe: No! Coins hate me!
Joey: What?! Noooo (Phoebe gasps.)
Phoebe: Yes! Your honor?
Phoebe: Oh!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Joey are watching ET.]
Phoebe: Oh he knows! (Quietly) For the most part.
Phoebe: Okay. All right you yellow-bellied-lilly-livered-DRAW!! (they both kick up the foot rests like an old fashioned gun fight.)
Phoebe: I brought a bunch of stuff for the house, so check it out. Ha-ha. (She removes this large ceramic dog that comes up to the second floor and places it next to the house.)
Phoebe: Really?! I won!
Phoebe: (running after her) Rach, its gonna be okay! (To Ross and Joey) You guys are the best!
Phoebe: Well I'm sorry Rachel, but I'm not like you, ok? Not everyone can afford help. (she and Mike leave)
Phoebe: WellButNow, if-if you can achieve positronic distillation of sub-atomic particles yknow before he does, then he can come back. (They hug again.)
(Monica gasps and holds her forehead. Phoebe, Rachel and Ross pull back their heads)
Phoebe: Oh, but, could we not go together? I,I don't wanna be the geek that invited the boss.
Monica: Phoebe, that's how it starts. I don't need to eat the cake, I'll just smell the icing... why don't I just eat a little sliver, or, okay, just a slice or two. And next thing you know, you're 210 pounds and you get wedged in going down the tunnel slide. Phoebe, honey, I know this is hard. Look, if you talk to him, you're going to wanna see him. And if you see him, you're going to want to get back together with him. I know that's not what you want. (pause) Give me your phone.
Phoebe: Oh my god! Look, it's Ross and Rachel. Oh, the plan is working.
Phoebe: Hi!
Phoebe: Oh yeah!
Phoebe: Oh thats so sweet thanks.
Phoebe: This stuff is great!
Phoebe: Ohh.
Phoebe: Well, we just decided that Rachel is gonna be your maid of honor.
Phoebe: Yknow Rach, I think that, I think you should be Monicas made of honor.
Phoebe: Because I think it means more to you.
Phoebe: Wow! Well, if you nail the interview, you'll get it!
Rachel: Yeah okay, you laugh now, but shes gonna be yours. (Phoebe gets suddenly scared.)
Phoebe: Ahh, his work is done.
Phoebe: (looking at the picture again) Man alive!
Phoebe: Hey you guys, I dont mean to make things worse, but umm, I dont want to live with Rachel anymore.
Phoebe: (gasps) My God! What did you order?!
Phoebe: No, wait, oh, what are we sorry about?
Phoebe and Rachel: Hey!
PHOEBE: Ooh, look at you fancy lads. What's the occasion?
Phoebe: Okay!
Phoebe: Oh really. Okay. let me ask you something. Yesterday at the coffee house, I went to the bathroom and when I came back, my muffin was gone-who took it?
(He gets up and gives Monica a rather passionate kiss as Rachel and Phoebe look on in amazement. After the kiss ends, Chandler suddenly realizes what he just did, so he decides to do something rather rash.)
Phoebe: I am definitely gonna watch that!
Phoebe: The coins have finally forgiven me!
Phoebe: We want you to marry her!
Phoebe: Whatever.
Rachel: Phoebe!
Phoebe: Yeah, but you always say that.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are drinking coffee and Phoebe notices a cute guy checking them out.]
Phoebe: Oh no.
Phoebe: (to the girls) Hi! Hi! Listen, my friend Ross is about to be divorced for the third time, but wouldnt you date him?
Phoebe and Rachel: A birthday party.
Rachel: Oh Phoebe, we forgot that party we have to go to.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Didnt you sleep together?
Phoebe: Then change it back!
Phoebe: Really, it doesn't mean anything. I mean, you know, Monica refers to Chandler as Richard all the time!
Phoebe: You guys, you know what I just realized? 'Joker' is 'poker' with a 'J.' Coincidence?
Phoebe: Well, yknow I may have relatives in France who would know. My grandmother said she got the recipe from her grandmother, Nesele Tolouse.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: So how was, how was your date?
Phoebe: (sarcastic) Ah, yeah, he's so adorable, God, he's just so much fun, Joey is the best, I'm glad you're having so much fun here. (She turns around, about to leave)
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe is still investigating the smoke detector trying to figure out how to stop the beeping.]
Phoebe: Oh really? She said she wants to go away with you?
Phoebe and Rachel: Oh no, yeah.
Phoebe: We found your test in the trash, if youre not pregnant(She sees Rachel shaking her head)Its because I am.
Phoebe: You guys, what was the Powerball number again?
Carol: (running over and grabbing the phone away from Ross) (on phone) Phoebe, hang on a second. (Hands Ross her keys) Here, take my car, go pick up your friends.
Phoebe: Hey you guys I'm gonna go out and take a walk.
Phoebe: Oh, it's not!
Ross: Phoebe, why is your bag moving?
Phoebe: I'm sorry, who's this?
Phoebe: No, there's no dog here?
[Scene: Phoebes office, she is arriving without the knowledge that shes been fired.]
Monica: Phoebe, there's a dog sitting on my couch!
Monica: Phoebe, why is there a dog in our apartment?
Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe: Shhhh!
Monica: (walks to Phoebe's door) Phoebe! Phoebe, open up!
Rachel: Phoebe you cant have both of them! You have to pick one!
Monica and Phoebe: Why?
Phoebe: Why?
Phoebe: Are you crazy?
Phoebe: Oh right, because youre so capable of change.
Rachel: Okay Phoebe calm down, theres no need to place blame. Okay? (To the fireman) I warned her about those candles.
[Scene: The delivery room, Chandler, Frank, and Ross are with Phoebe.]