words in movies
Phoebe: Oh good! (And theres general excitement.)
Phoebe: Now wasnt Joey hitting on her at the wedding too?
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe is walking down it and passes Ursula.]
Phoebe: Ursula! (Ursula turns, smiles, and continues walking.) Wait! Err-err, its me! Phoebe!
Phoebe: Wait a second! So, whats new with you?
Phoebe: What?!
Ursula: Yeah! Yeah, its gonna be a small ceremony. Just family. (Phoebe looks at her.) His.
Phoebe: Huh. Okay. Well, Im really happy for you. (Starts to walk away.)
Phoebe: Really?
Phoebe: Yeah. Okay. Umm, yknow, my friends are having a Halloween party tonight at my old apartment so, you could come. Maybe I could meet the guy youre marrying.
Phoebe: By the way, its a costume party.
Phoebe: (looks down) No. But thanks. (Walks away.)
Rachel: Yeah. Sure. (Throws some in her bag and she walks away as Phoebe, dressed as Supergirl walks up and eyes Monica who eyes her back.)
Phoebe: Ah, Catwoman. So we meet again.
Phoebe: No, its me. Phoebe!
Phoebe: (To Chandler) That is so you!
Phoebe: No wonder your pregnant.
(Joey gives him the okay symbol, and Ross rushes towards him to be stopped by Chandler. Meanwhile, Phoebe goes over to the snack table as some guy, which turns out to be Ursula's fianc�e Eric, walks in and smacks her butt.)
Phoebe: Okay, I will. But right after you tell me who the hell you are.
Phoebe: Ursulas fianc�e?
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: My mother killed herself.
Phoebe: No-no! Thats okay, well just start over. Okay? Hi! Im Phoebe.
Phoebe: Why are you looking at me like that?
Phoebe: Okay. (Hands him a napkin.) So, what are you?
Phoebe: (laughs) No I-I meant your costume.
Phoebe: I love the second grade!
Phoebe: Yeah! Its so much better than first grade when you dont know whats going on and definitely better than third grade. Yknow with all the politics and mind games.
Phoebe: Umm, Im a masseuse by day. (Stands with her hands on her hips like a Supergirl pose.)
Phoebe: No Im having fun. Im reallyAnd Im really-really excited for you and Ursula.
Phoebe: Thank you.
Joey: But between you and Phoebe, Id have to give the edge to Phoebe.
Joey: Are you kiddin? Phoebe lived on the street. Okay? Plus, shes got this crazy temper. SheShes not standing right behind me is she?
Phoebe: (walking over) Hey. Ursulas fianc�e is really sweet! Hes a teacher, he does all this volunteer work. Yknow normally yknow, I dont like really sweaty guys. But this one? I could just mop him up!
Monica: Oh my God, Phoebe!
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: No Im not! You are!
[Cut to Phoebe and Eric.]
Phoebe: Hello handsome. (Sees Ursula over her shoulder) Oh God. (Walks away in shame as they kiss.) Oh look at you two. So when did you guys meet?
Phoebe: Two weeks? Thats it?
Phoebe: Oh really?
Phoebe: Huh? (Ursula motions for Phoebe to keep quiet.)
Phoebe: Peace Corps, really? (Ursula motions, "I dont know.")
[Scene: The Hallway, Phoebe is exiting Monica and Chandlers, and finds Ursula standing in the hallway smoking.]
Phoebe: Hi liar!
Phoebe: Yknow the only reason hes marrying you is because he thinks all the things you were saying about yourself were true.
Phoebe: But theyre not!
Phoebe: Why are you lying to him?
Ursula: (waving the cigarette in Phoebes face) Its a filthy, disgusting habit and I want you to quit now!
Eric: (To Phoebe) Well, it was nice meeting you.
Phoebe: You too. And Ursula?! It was really nice meeting you tonight!!
[Time Lapse: the crowd has left and only Mona, Monica, Joey, and Phoebe are still watching to see who will be able to move the others arm first. An event that has yet to happen.]
Monica: (To Phoebe) Oh God!
Phoebe: Hmm?
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe: Sure it does. Yeah, yeah.
Eric: Well, I guess Ill see you at the wedding. (Exits and Phoebe follows him into the hall.)
Phoebe: Umm listen, I dont think I dont think Im gonna make it to the wedding. So I just want to wish you all the luck in the world.
Phoebe: Okay I cant let you do this! Shes lying to you.
Phoebe: She is lying! And I bet I can prove it. Excuse me. (She grabs Ursulas purse and starts going through it and finds some papers.) Okay. Okay. YeahNot a prayer chain, but what looks like a detailed drawing of a bank floor plan. (Holds up her nametag.) Okay, heres the nametag from the restaurant where she works as a waitress! Not a teacher, a waitress. All right, heres her driver license, this oughta be good, she always lies about this. How old did she say she was?
Phoebe: Oh, I almost dont want to show this. (Hands it to him.) Just remember Im a minute younger.
Phoebe: No. Youre not, youre not stupid.
Eric: Im not smart. (Phoebe has no comeback.) I just wanted so much to be impulsive once. To be romantic.
Phoebe: Thats good, you should be impulsive and you should be romantic. Just you did it with the wrong person. (He looks at her.) What?
Phoebe: Yeah, you should. (They shake hands.)
(Phoebe hands Eric Ursulas purse and he walks away.)
Monica: I made her. (Phoebe looks shocked) Steel drums don't really say "elegant wedding". Nor does Marjorie's overwhelming scent.
PHOEBE: [cutting Mrs. Greene off] Ha-ha, that's great, ha-ha. I can't wait to hear the rest of it, ya know, but I really have to go to the bathroom so... Hey, come with me. Yeah, yeah, it'll be like we're gal pals, ya know, like at a restraunt. Oh, it'll be fun, c'mon. [they go in the bathroom]
Phoebe: All right, I will. No, I will. But umm, yknow just remember that its still really early, okay so, if it says that Im not pregnant, that doesnt mean that Im not gonna get pregnant, okay and, and just please, just so I dont go completely nuts, just try not put all your hopes on this.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is there as Monica enters carrying a huge stack of newspapers.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment, Phoebe and Rachel are there and Chandler enters.]
Phoebe: (getting up) Well, I hate to eat and run, but
Phoebe: Its okay, hes a virgin.
Phoebe: Yeah I know. Isnt it great? One less person we have to make small talk with.
Phoebe: You remember her from my birthday party two years ago. Shes yeah, like, average height, medium build, bald...
PHOEBE: (knowingly chuckles) Oh, Mike.� Bye.
[Scene: Central Perk. Frank Jr., Phoebe and the triplets are there. The triplets are now sleeping on top of each other on the couch.]
Phoebe: Its not kicking me, its kicking one of the other babies. Oh (looks down her dress)! Dont make me come in there!
Phoebe: No, I know. That's a part of the whole, you know, them-not-liking-you-extravaganza.
Monica: Ok fine. I'll handle this. (goes to Phoebe who's talking to Rachel) Phoebe?
Phoebe: Fine! Be murky!
Phoebe: You’re just so mean to each other! And I don’t want to end up like that with Rachel. I still like you!
Phoebe: Hey! Ive got a great idea for party favors for the shower. Okay, we get some uh mahogany boxes and carve everyones names in them and inside is everyones individual birth stone.
Phoebe: Well, I, I like the idea of naming him after someone I love, and Joey and Chandler are great names. (They both stare at her.) But, all right, I dontmaybe Ill just name him The Hulk.
Phoebe: No, he really hates it. But he's gonna let me keep my box of human hair! So you got to pick your battles. But the good news is, Gladys is yours!
Phoebe: I cannot believe I can't find a selfless good deed! Y'know that old guy that lives next to me? Well, I snuck over there and-and raked up all the leaves on his front stoop. But he caught me and force-fed me cider and cookies. Then I felt wonderful. That old jackass!
Phoebe: (still laughing) No. (points to Rachel who stuck two straws in her mouth to look like a mammoth's tusks)
Phoebe: (with a fancy dress, still playing and singing): It wasn't just that she was fat, the woman smelled like garbage! Everyone! It wasn't just that she was fat the woman smelled like garbaaaaaage! (to Monica, showing her dress) Classy, uh?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are cautiously serving Phoebe some tea.]
PHOEBE: Well, you kind of just did.� That guy is going to call you tonight.� Ross is going to pick up the phone and that's a pretty clear message.
Phoebe: Dont be worried about that! Your tombstone can say whatever you want it to say! It could say, Ross Geller, Good at Marriage! Yknow? Mines gonna say Phoebe Buffay, Buried Alive.
Phoebe: Not with that attitude! Now, haul ass!
[Scene: The park, Rachel's running by herself and panting. After a little while she decides to run like Phoebe.]
Phoebe: Well, maybe she didn't hear! Ok I'm gonna go into that dressing room, you stay in here and I'll talk and see if you can hear me.
Phoebe: If you wanted to punish them, you shouldve just made them hang out here!
Phoebe: Mon', not that you didn�t sound good, but...
Phoebe: Ooh, babies! Oh, this one is so cute, get this one!
Phoebe: Noo!
Phoebe: Okay, I just thought of the perfect guy for Rachel to take to her thing.
Phoebe: Umm, Im talking about that which you already know but wont admit. You love her again; you re-love her!
Phoebe: (gasps) Ohh, okay maybe they put your picture back up they can put you next to Matt Lauer. Look at him, smiling at me. (Giggles) Yeah I know; wed be great together!
Phoebe: Are you lying? Is this like that time you tried to convince us that you were a doctor?
Phoebe: Oh. Oh! Ma'am? Excuse me, ma'am?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Rachel are upset with each other. Phoebe is mediating.]
Chandler: Hey, yknow what, if youre gonna do that, if youre gonna name him Joey, you should name him Chandler. (Phoebe doesnt think so.) Oh, come on! Chandlers funny, sophisticated, and hes very loveable, once you get to know him.
Phoebe: Well, freaked. Cause it turns out that the odds are really sucky. And! This is Frank and Alices like only shot. Like, they are literally putting all of their eggs in my basket.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe is on the phone and Monica is nonchalantly "minding her own business".]
Phoebe: No Dr. Skeptismo! Im sure. First of all, okay, theres the feeling. (Chandler shrugs) Okay, and for another, how about the fact that she went into my guitar case which is lined with orange felt. (Rachel nods her head in unsure agreement) My Mothers favourite fish is Orange Roughy... (Joey thinks he understands, but then nods that he has no clue.) Cats....like....fish! (Ross and Rachel are totally lost) (to the cat) Hi, Mommy. (Rachel covers her mouth, in an Oh my God. gesture) Oh, I havent seen this smile in 17 years!
Charity guy: If I haven't said so already sir, (sarcastically pointing to Phoebe) congratulations!
Phoebe: Well no, when I get to the point where... you know... I'm ready to hear cruel mocking jokes about Mike... I'm gonna come to you.
Phoebe: Nuh-uh. I don't think any of our lives are ever gonna be the same ever again.
Phoebe: Okay. So, this wire is connected to this wire which plugs into here. (She points at each as she says it.) Okay so, to get the beeping to stop all I have to do (She picks up a shoe and proceeds to pummel the smoke detector. She then gets up and heads to bed, stops, quickly turns around, and is satisfied that the beeping has stopped.) Well done, Pheebs. (She resumes her trek to bed, but is stopped at the entrance to the hallway by the now steady and extremely loud tone emanating from the smoke detector.) (Yelling.) What do you want from me?!!!!!!!
Phoebe: Come on, you saw the way he ran out of here! What do you think? He's gonna stick around and talk to the daughter he abandoned!
Phoebe: Oh, well he's yummy. We did a little kissin'.
Phoebe: Hi! (turns back to Chandler, then to Monica) Oh, yeah, no, I know. You're a chef. I know, and I thought of you first, but um, Chandler's the one who needs a job right now, so....
Phoebe: All right, everyone calm down! Everyone calm down! I have something that I would like to say! Who here likes Ross? (Ross is the only one who raises his hand and Phoebe glares at him to put his hand back down.) Of course you don't like him! He-he didn't give you any money, he raised his own hand when I asked, "Who hear likes Ross," and he's wearing two nametags! (He takes one off.) I-I'll be honest with you guys, when I first met Ross I didn't like him at all! But then once I got to know him I saw that he's really sweet and caring and very generous. I mean, all I'm saying is don't judge Ross before you get to know him all right? I mean, I like all you guys now, but when I first meet you y'know Kurt, I thought, y'know abrasive drunk, umm Lola, mind numbingly stupid! And okay, you guys (She turns to an elderly gentleman and a 20 something woman, who're a couple.) (To the girl) Gold-digger, (To the old guy) cradle robbing perv! So, I think you all know what I mean.
Phoebe: Okay, first I'm not crazy. And second, say it don't spray it. Anyway his name is Malcom, and he wasn't following me, I mean he was, but 'cause he thought I was Ursula, ick. And, that's why, that's why he couldn't just come up and talk to me. 'Cause of the restraining order.
PHOEBE: Alright, so, what, he's not a famous tree surgeon? And then, I guess, OK, he doesn't live in a hut in Burma where there's no phones?
Phoebe: I bought them off Ebay! They used to belong to the late Shania Twain.
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. Phoebe and Mike are packing stuff.]
[Scene: A hospital, Phoebe is recovering from her heart attack as Ross, Monica, and Chandler are there to comfort and support her.]
Phoebe: (hides her mouth behind the cup and speaks in the "pigeon voice" from before) Coo, again. Don't blame the pretty lady. It was not her fault. It was me, the pigeon, coo! (pause) Seriously, stop staring at her.
Phoebe: I know. They should be a family. They should get married and have more children.
Joey: Whoa, whoa. And the fact that you dumped him because he hit on Phoebe?
Phoebe: Well, you know what, they're our responsibility now.
Phoebe: (looking around) She mustve left.
Phoebe Sr: No, no, thats just Chuck Magioni, I-I sold him a house last year! And Im very sorry, but I dont know where your Father is, and thats the truth.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, and Monica are there as Phoebe enters carrying a large box.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Phoebe, still defying reality, are now throwing a bouquet at each other, pretending to catch the actual bouquet at an actual wedding.]
Phoebe Sr.: Well, any how, some how I got pregnant, and, and I was scared. I was stupid and sellfish, and I was 18 years old. I mean, you remember what its like to be eighteen years old?
PHOEBE: (imitating Rachel) "Oh, I have to get my number back.� Oh my God.� He's gone."� (smiles) Dead on.
Phoebe: No! It�s my first birthday with a boyfriend, and he has to work. Uch, I get mad at him, but I think it�s a little to soon to show my true colors.
Melissa: (laughs) Oh you dont have to be (Laughs again) sorry. Im Im obviously kidding. Im not in love with you. (To Phoebe) Im not in love with her. I dont hear coconuts banging together. Yeah, I dont picture your face when I make love to my boyfriend. Anyway, I gotta go. Eh kiss good-bye? (Rachel stares at her stunned.) No? Okay. (Hurries into the cab and drives off.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica is in the kitchen, Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: I dont what your talking about. (Laughs nervously and continues to leaqve)
Phoebe: No, okay, youre right. Youre easy-going. Youre just not as easy-going as Rachel. Shes just more flexible and-and mellow. Thats all.
[Cut to later, Phoebe is still in the chair and Rachel is laying down as Monica enters.]
Phoebe: (through the door, with a Scottish accent) Are you ready for your Scottish massage? Put your face in the hole, lassy.
Phoebe: Okay, here I wish you health and happiness. (She hands Monica a cookie in a plastic baggie.)
(Mike starts to kneel in front of Phoebe.)
PHOEBE: Oh good, ok. Oh nooo, I have to go because I'm late for my um, Green Eggs and Ham discussion group. Um tonight it's why he would not eat them on a train. Have fun bye.
Phoebe: Prove it.
Phoebe: Ooh! No, no, no, no, he's not like a kook, no. He's just like this, this very passionate, incredibly romantic guy, that got like a tinsy bit carried away, you know. And we just get along really well, and he's so cute.
Ross: No one, I’m just saying if... (Phoebe starts pinching him in his neck)
Ross: And that should conclusively prove that I had the idea for Jurassic Park first! Now lets take a look at (Phoebe rushes in.)
(They move closer to together and Phoebe hesitantly puts her hand on Chandler's hip. He puts his hand on her left hip but then decides to put his hand on her left hip. Phoebe then grabs his butt. Chandler goes for her breast, but stops and puts his hand on her shoulder.)
(Phoebe rounds the corner.)
Phoebe: Umm, yeah, uh-huh, theyre implanted.
Ross: Ohh! Okay! Okay. (Resumes reading word for word from the card) "There are three (pauses and looks at Joey) primary theories concerning sediment flow rate. (Pauses and darts his eyes between Chandler and Rachel.) (Rachel starts laughing) Each of these theories (glances at Phoebe) can be further subcategorized (glances at Chandler) into "
[Scene: Monica's Bedroom, Monica and Phoebe are waxing their legs.]
Chandler: Will you marry me? Will you marry me? (Makes like a gun with his fingers.) Hey, you marry me! (He gives up as Joey, Rachel, Phoebe, and Ross slink in all excited.) Whats going on little elves?
Phoebe: (coming over after returning the musket) Wait a minute, no, this is, this is the reason you brought me. Okay? I know how to haggle. So let me handle this from here on out.
Phoebe: Uh-huh. (To the embryos) Good luck.
Phoebe: (to Arthur, hes the guy calling 9-1-1) Dumbass!
(At this point a stream of obscenities burst forth from Phoebes mouth just in time for Ben and Ross to enter and hear most of it, and in slow motion Ross tries to shield his innocent son from Phoebes vulgarity.)
Phoebe: I guess so, can I. can I think it's cool that you kiss me and also wanna kiss you again (they get closer to kiss and Phoebe pulls back) and umm, be a little concerned about the magic markers.
Phoebe: Wow! Oh you can just imagine that this is where (Shes opening and closing the drawers) they kept all the stuff to make their potions.
Phoebe: Okay, come on Rach its present time! Yknow youre the glue thats holding this whole party together. Its kinda falling apart here.
PHOEBE: Ya-huh, all the time, cause they are the lightning bearers.
Chandler: Uh, are you crazy? Are you insane? If you live with Phoebe, you two are gonna be y'know, live-living together!
Phoebe: Oh Willies still alive!
Phoebe: Do you think they have yesterday's daily news?
Phoebe: Yeah? And, hes-hes so centered and mature and confident.
Phoebe: Well, maybe it wont work out. Maybe Ross wont like her personality.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Chandler and Monica are holding the twins. Joey and Phoebe are sitting by the window, while Ross and Rachel are standing together. The apartment is completely empty. Two men are carrying a large dresser.]
Phoebe: Wait-wait-wait, wait! Puppies. Cute or ugly?