words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, and Chandler are sitting on the couch and chair as Phoebe is getting coffee.]
Phoebe: Huh?
Phoebe: Sure. Yeah, hes kinda sexy.
Phoebe: Okay so, well just come up with some kind of signal if its going well you can take off.
Rachel: No Phoebe! I just need you there for support. I havent told him Im pregnant yet.
Phoebe: Oh. Why not?
Phoebe: Oh Rachel, this is all so Papa dont preach.
Rachel: What Phoebe? Wait! One time he caught me smoking he said if he ever saw me doing that again hed make me eat the entire pack.
Phoebe: Wow! Oh well, I will be there!
Phoebe: Gosh. Im not gonna let that man make you eat your baby. (They both sit down by the rest of the gang and Phoebe recognizes a man by the window.) Oh. Hey! Who is that guy? I think I know him.
Phoebe: Oh my God!!! Monica!! Hes the stripper from your bachelorette party!!
Phoebe: Your secret bachelorette party
Phoebe: She untied his G-string with her teeth. (Pause) Somebody stop me!
[Scene: A Restaurant, Rachel and Phoebe are having dinner with Dr. Green, and everyone is looking at the menu.]
Phoebe: Oh, I-I dont eat meat.
Phoebe: Yeah, I dont eat that either.
Rachel: (To Phoebe) In case you didnt notice, that is a scary man.
Phoebe: Hes right though, the 74 is absolute piss.
Rachel: This was such a huge mistake. I cant tell him Phoebe. I cant, I cant, I cant, I cant
Phoebe: Rachel!
Phoebe: Why, so he can get mad at the baby?
Phoebe: Its slang for pregnant.
Rachel: Phoebe!
Dr. Green: Who is the father? Oh no! Please dont tell me its her! (Points at Phoebe.)
Dr. Green: (laughs) Poppy. (To Phoebe) Oh, Im gonna be a poppy. (Stops laughing) So when is the wedding?
[Scene: The Restaurant, dinner has ended and Phoebe and Rachel are talking. Dr. Green is not at the table.]
Phoebe: Im sorry I wont be able to make it to your imaginary wedding, but Im really busy that day. Yeah, I already have a unicorn baptism and a leprechaun bar mitzvah.
Phoebe: Its Lafite. The 74 Latour is actually drinking quite nicely.
Rachel: Really?! The Plaza?!! Oh daddy!! (Hugs him and Phoebe glares at her.) Right. Daddy, I need to talk to you. Please, sit down.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel and Phoebe are at the counter as Ross enters.]
Phoebe: Id better go. (She goes and sits down in the La-Z-Boy E-cliner 3000, the chair that Sit magazine called chair of the year, and they both look at her.) Just over here: I dont want to miss the fight.
Phoebe: Thats it?! You call that a fight? Come on! "We were on a break!" "No we werent!" What happened to you two?!
Phoebe: (entering, quietly) Wow, you told your dad the truth.
Phoebe: Wanna go see a movie?
Rachel: Yes! (She gets up and sets the phone on the counter without hanging it up.) Bye daddy. (Phoebe and her leave.)
Phoebe: I know, it's tough. You know what the first thing I did after my mother's funeral was?
Phoebe: Well, just... let's try it again.
Phoebe: Oh!
Phoebe: Hi!
Phoebe: It does, really?
Phoebe: Uh. It's not... quite what I'm saying.
Monica: I want you to meet someone really special. Phoebe, this is Erica. And this is the baby!
Phoebe: Yea. Can I please, please, please talk to one of the best men? This is going to be the last time I promise.
Ross: Okay, well here we are. Now were in a tough spot again, Rach. What do you want to do? How do you want to handle it? Huh? Do you wanna fight for us? Or, do you wanna bail? (sits down next to her) Look, I, (on the verge of tears) I did a terrible, stupid, stupid thing. Okay? And Im sorry, I wish I could take it back, but I cant. (We see Monica and Phoebe are almost in tears.) I just cant see us throwing away something we know is so damn good. Rachel, I love you so much.
Phoebe: Je m'appelle Claude.
Phoebe: pelle
Phoebe: pelle
Phoebe: Je m'appelle!
Phoebe: Okay, umm, if a kid gets straight As, his parents would say, "Yeah, he pulled a Monica." Y'know? Or a fireman saves a baby, and they go, "Yeah I know, he pulled a Monica." Or someone hits a homerun and the announcer says, "Yeah, that ones outta here." Though some things dont change.
(Phoebe enters)
Phoebe: Hey Joey.
Phoebe: Well, you're not, (she tries to smile and contain her anger, but loses it) You're not... you're not... again, you're not SPEAKING FRENCH!
Phoebe: Really, can I hear some of it.
Phoebe: I think David would probably wanna hear a few lectures.
Phoebe: Yeah, okay, Ive-Ive been dating both of you, and its been really horrible. Cause y'know its been a lot of fun, for me. Umm, but I-I like you both, and I, and I didnt know how to chose, so... Im sorry, Im just, Im terrible, Im a terrible person. Im terrible.
Monica: Why? Because everything is my responsibility? Isn't it enough that I'm making Thanksgiving dinner for everyone? You know, everyone wants a different kind of potatoes, so I'm making different kinds of potatoes. Does anybody care what kind of potatoes I want? Nooooo, no, no! (starting to cry) Just as long as Phoebe gets her peas and onions, and Mario gets his tots, and it's my first Thanksgiving, and it's all burned, and, and I... I...
Phoebe: How could you possibly think that?
Phoebe: How old is your phonebook?
PHOEBE: It was an accident, and, and the woman who did this would never ever hurt a dog on purpose. She's a vegetarian.
Phoebe: Ooh, this is it! (Looks in the window.) Oh, thats him! Thats him!
Joey: (to Phoebe) Oh-hoh! Ha-hah! See!
Phoebe: Umm, I lost one of your earrings. I'm sorry! I am so, so sorry!
Phoebe: Horseback riding?
Phoebe: Ready... GO!
Phoebe: Archery?
Phoebe: Oh! Yeah, this is fun, couples night.
Phoebe: (checking her watch) You did it!
Phoebe: Wow!
Phoebe: Oh, what beautiful lukewarm sentiment.
Phoebe: Thanks! Honey, would you want me to take your name?
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe, Monica and Chandler on their couch.]
Phoebe: Where did you go to do it?
Mike: (walks to the couch with coffee for Phoebe) Here you go.
Phoebe: Okay!
(Phoebe tries to throw some quarters out the window, but she has forgotten to open the window, and she and Ross scream.)
Phoebe: Good for you. That was really mature.
Phoebe: Why? The only person my playing is bothering is you!
Monica: (pause) (to Phoebe) Chandler gets pedicures!
Phoebe: (genuinely excited about it) Yeah, yeah! And you can get rid of that French poster.
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: Uh-huh!
Phoebe: Well, not anything, I mean...
Phoebe: Hey!
Monica: Phoebe!
Phoebe: Uh! Princess Consuela.
Phoebe: Oh, this could take a while.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Monica are there when Phoebe enters.]
PHOEBE: I'm just gonna pass on the concert, 'cause I'm just not in a very Hootie place right now.
Phoebe: Ross...
Phoebe: Can you?
Phoebe: Oh God!
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, happy needless-turkey-murder day.
Phoebe: (hopping off the bike) Wait! This seat is really uncomfortable! Yeah, maybe before we start we should just get another one. Perhaps, like an airplane seator a beanbag chair!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there as Rachel enters carrying a shopping bag.]
Phoebe: (slowly) Je m'appelle Claude.
Phoebe: Oh, me too!
Phoebe: Yep.
Phoebe: Welcome back!
Phoebe: Nope.
Mike: Hey (He kisses Phoebe)
Rachel: That-that is your make out buddy. Dont you recognize him? (Holding up the magazine in front of her face.) Oh wait. Ohh, Phoebe I love you. Kiss me please.
Phoebe: You're not serious, right?
Phoebe:(not amused) Mike Crap Bag?
Phoebe: Great, okay, what are you gonna change it to?
Phoebe: And I love Crap.
Phoebe: Okay (walks out and closes the door behind her, looks up and whispers) If you guys have microphones in there too, I didn't mean any of that. I love you.
Chandler: Uh-huh, and I got all the top ten scores, I erased Phoebe off the board! High five! (Holds up his hand to give Monica a high five, only he cant straighten his fingers.)
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel at the Spa. Phoebe is still massaging Rachel]
Monica: Phoebe, we are so proud of you! You're amazing!
Phoebe: Shhh! Shhhh! Joeys asleep.
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Thank you, mister Bag.
(a woman enters and recognizes Phoebe)
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Mike are leaving.]
Phoebe: How about uhm... How about Buffay-Hannigan?
Phoebe: ...Oh crap!
Mike: Only if you'll be Phoebe Buffay.
Phoebe: It's a funny word.
Ross: Phoebe, I had no idea you were so conventional.
Phoebe: Im sorry, Im justIm Im just not ready for a relationship right now.
Phoebe: Good for you!
Phoebe: Ooh, what's going on?
Phoebe: Talking to Ross.
Phoebe: You okay with this?
Phoebe: She died.
Phoebe: (to Monica) Here, now I don't eat chicken, so it's just noodle soup. And there's no chicken in the broth either, so it's really just... noodle water.
Phoebe: Yeah, she was just an agent.
Phoebe: Well, not for a little while. Let's just give him a few days to get used to everything else.
Phoebe: Is it okay if I leave this stuff here 'til Rachel's birthday party?
Phoebe: Well its justits one of those situations that I just hate. Yknow? A massage client gave me three tickets to the Helmet-Pelts exhibit at the Morgan Chase museum.
Joey: Hey Phoebe.
Phoebe: Hey. Everything ok?
Phoebe: (interrupting) What are you doing?!! Why are you defending him?! Just get me another doctor! One who is not crazy and who is not Fonzie!
Phoebe: Because a promise between friends means never having to give a reason. (she leaves)
Monica: Damnit Phoebe! How did you even call him?