words in movies
Phoebe: (her mobile phone rings) Oh, it's my wedding planner. She's driving me crazy! (she answers) Hello... Hey, ok, stop screaming! Ok? So, halibut. All right, so salmon, either way. I don't-I don't... it doesn't matter to me!
Monica: (she enters with a headset on and she's speaking into the microphone) Well, it matters to me!
Monica: Did you just hung up on me? (she hangs up too) All right, look, I need you at the rehearsal dinner tonight at 1800 hours.
Monica: Ok. Hold on. (her mobile phone rings) Geller here! No! I said it has to be there by 4 o'clock. Goodbye. (she hangs up) Oh, how hard it is to make an ice sculpture?
Monica: Ooh... she backed out.
Phoebe: She did? Why?
Phoebe: (looking angry) Hey! She will shower when Tibet is free.
Monica: (coming) Are you still crying about your damn baby? Pheebs, you gotta keep the line moving, remember, 20 seconds per person. Your see these clowns all the time! (she takes off)
Mike: You're right. She probably will support me. Hey, unless we move in with you, dad?
Phoebe: Ok. Hello everyone and thank you all for being here tonight. So tomorrow's the big event and some of you might not know, but Mike and I didn't get off to the best start. (she reads a note). My friend Joey and I decided to fix each other up with friends so I, I... (Monica is twirling her hands in order to make Phoebe speed up her speech) oh I... hum... I gave it a lot of thought and I fixed him up with my friend Mary Ellen who couldn't be here tonight because... (Monica is tapping her watch with her finger) it's not important... she is in rehab. Anyway, so, ok, Joey said that he was fixing me up with his friend Mike, only he didn't have a friend Mike so he just brought, uhm, my Mike and, and (Monica clears her throat) but despite, you know... it got... it got good. Ok, I wanna take a moment to mention my mother, who couldn't be here...
Phoebe: And... moment's over! (Rachel, Joey and Chandler all turn and look disapprovingly towards Monica but she just shrugs it off) So, ok, uh, I can forget that. I can forget that and uhm... (she's flipping cards skipping half of them) Oh this is funny! Oh, but you need to know that to... that, to... Oh, ok, well, uhm, I (Monica is miming CUT). Ok, ok, I, ok, I.... MONICA I CAN'T DO IT LIKE THIS! THIS IS MY WEDDING! OKAY, I DON'T WANT THIS (she mimes Monica's when she was twirling her hands) OR THIS (she taps her watch) OR THIS (she mimes CUT) OK? I JUST WANTED A SIMPLE WEDDING! WHERE MY FIANCEE CAN GO TO THE BATHROOM ANYTIME HE WANTS! (pause) You know what? You're done.
Phoebe: YOU'RE FIRED! (mimes the CUT again) (pause and she raises her glass) Cheers! (Chandler raises his, smiling and Monica stares at him and he puts down his glass.)
Monica: (Obviously enjoying this setback) Ugh, I guess it got sent to the billing address as opposed to the shipping address. (by now she can barely keep herself from smiling) Uh! What a pickle.
Rachel: Oh Phoebe, I'm so happy for you honey. (she gives her a kiss)
(She walks down the aisle with the groomsman. We cut to inside Central Perk, where Phoebe and Chandler are waiting.)
(She takes off the coat she was wearing over her wedding dress, which is violet and has a darker shade petticoat underneath which shows at one side where the dress is lifted up to about the height of her hip and connected to the petticoat. She's wearing a veil over her curly hair and a low cut top with straps only just hanging over her shoulders.)
Phoebe: When I was growing up, I didn't have a normal mom and dad, or a regular family like everybody else, and I always knew that something was missing. But now I'm standing here today, knowing that I have everything I'm ever gonna need... You are my family. (She puts the ring on Mikes finger)
Ross: What? (Motions for Phoebe to go outside with him.) Oh my God! She-she thinks were engaged! Why? Why? Why would she think were engaged?!
Monica: It was okay. Shes still kind of depressed because she broke up with her boyfriend.
Rachel: She didn't hang up either...
Rachel: No, she left a message. (He starts for the machine.) (Stopping him.) But it-it kinda got erased. There's just (Pause) something wrong with your machine.
Rachel: This bench, its hollow! I cant believe I never knew that! (She pushes all the pillows off it and opens it up) Oh, the presents!!!
[she turns to leave, Frank follows]
ROSS: [puts the message in the cupboard] I don't know, I don't get, I don't get it, I mean, wh, wh, two months ago Rachel and I were like, this close. Right now, what, I'm takin messages from guys she, she meets at the movies? I mean this, this Casey should be takin' down my messages, ya know, or, or, Rachel and I should be together and, and we should get some kind of me, message service.
Rachel: She has got so much going on we-we have only two options. We have Friday
Monica: I am going I'm going--Turn it over! (Rachel rolled onto her stomach and Monica rolls her back.) I'm I am going to get these drops in your eyes. (She is holding Rachel down with both hands and has the eyedropper in her mouth.)
Chandler: I think she looks cute. (Rachel turns around and stares at him angrily) ... but I am wrong!
Tim: Actually shes my-my boss. Sous is French for under.
Phoebe: Oh, really? Does it beat water balloon? (She places her hand over his "fire" and mimics a bursting water balloon, thus putting the fire out).
JOEY: Oh yeah, yeah, she's great, but... I kinda got the feeling that she was sort of... coming on to me. And I definitely would get the part if I would've... you know... if I would have sent the Little General in.
Phoebe: Ooh! Oh! (She starts to pluck at the air just in front of Ross.)
Joey: Wow, what-what do you think she wants?
Janice: Hi, Ross. Yes, it's me. How did you know? (she laughs obnoxiously)
Ross: You deserve to be with someone who appreciates you, and who gets how funny and sweet and amazing, and adorable, and sexy you are, you know? Someone who wakes up every morning thinking "Oh my god, I'm with Rachel". You know, someone who makes you feel good, the way I am with Julie. (Rachel has moved closer, but hearing that she starts to back up.) Was there a second of all?
Ross: Look Chandler, Monica is really weird about this kind stuff all right. Believe me, I lived with her for 16 years. She is going to freak out. Oh my God, she's going to sit on you.
Ross: I don't know, but when I spoke to her, she said she had already passed the mucus plug.
CHANDLER: Well, she looks the exact opposite of that.
Rachel: Look, Im fine. Watch. (She picks up an aspirin between her toes) Look at that. (She lifts her leg to grab the aspirin with her hand and almost falls over.) Whoa-whoa!
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Marcel is hanging from Celia's hair, and she is screaming, trying to get him off.]
(She sets down her bag and we travel back to slow motion world. She once again whips her hair around in slow motion with the love doctor Barry White singing in the background. And Id also like to take this opportunity to mention that she can also be seen in Starship Troopers and that she was born in Downers Grove, Illinois which just happens to be a few miles from where I live. Anyway Cousin Ross is now staring.)
Receptionist: (holds up her handshe is on the phone) It says to call this number if you're not completely satisfied with this candy bar. Well, I'm not completely satisfied.
Phoebe: Dont be so corny Ross, its not an after-school special. (She rides off and the camera pans down to reveal two shiny, silver training wheels firmly attached.)
Joey: I know! Thats why we got to find Monica!! You know where she is?
Rachel: Ross, she still has not noticed that the baby�s sock is on the ground.
Rachel: Ohh, so do you! Did you lose weight? (Shes not quite sure of that one.)
Rachel: Thats also the smaller piece. (Puts the piece onto a plate.) Okay, there you go. Enjoy your half my friend, but that is it. No sharing. No switching, and dont come crying to me if you eat your piece to fast. (As shes saying that she is backing out the door, when she finishes she turns around to return to her place, stumbles and drops the cheesecake on the floor.) Oh!!!!
Rachel: Youre right. Youre right. I mean Im about to have a baby, I can tell my mother that I dont want her to just be sleeping on my couch! Oh my God! Shes gonna want to sleep in my bed with me. This cannot happen!
[Scene: Monica's party. She is seeing off the last of the guests.]
Rachel: Oh Ross youre so tense! You just gotta relax okay? Just need to relax all right? Just need to relax (She takes her hands off of the wheel.)
Joey: Man, I remember the first time I saw that girl Katherine, after we broke up. She was just walking with her friend Donna, just laughing and talking. God, it killed me.
Phoebe: Oh, the Angelica!! Go! Go! (She bangs on the cabs roof and it pulls away.) (To Ross) You didnt get the annulment?!!
Monica: (Into the phone) Hello? Chandler, what's wrong? (She listens) Oh my God, are you alright? (listens some more) Yeah, I'll be right there. (She hangs up and speaks to Amanda) I'm so sorry, but Chandler was in a car accident. (She gets up)
Rachel: Someone? I brought people. Mr. Thompson, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, this is Mr. Thompson. (She introduces them.) Hes the head of my department.
Phoebe: Monica, she will kill you. She will kill you like a dog in the street.
(They move on the couch and start kissing again. Joey does his grazing on Rachel’s thigh and she slaps his hand)
Joey: Umm, can you do me a favor? I was talkin to my sister and she knows you work at Ralph Lauren
Joey: (sleepily) Yeah, she is. Wow! (Falls back asleep, loudly) How you doin?
Ross: Yeah, Joan Tedeski my date. Shes an assistant professor in the Linguistics department. Tall, very beautiful, and despite what some people say, not broad backed!
Rachel: Yeah! (She puts on her coat and turns around and sees Ross is expecting her to help.) (Laughing.) Are you kiddin'?
Ross: (voiceover) So when she came in, I got distracted and totally forgot about the camera. [Cut back to the present day.] It kept rolling and recorded everything.
Chandler: Again, let's journey back... As I recall what Rachel said, was she had never notice the shape of your skull before. And Joey... Well, Joey didn't realise that there was anything different.
Chandler: She?
Paul: I know, I know, I'm such an idiot. I guess I should have caught on when she started going to the dentist four and five times a week. I mean, how clean can teeth get?
(Ross retrieves his jacket and sees that not only has Emily arrived, but she as seen Rachel take her place on the plane.)
Monica: Ross! She's giving us her baby. She can eat you if she wants.
Phoebe: (entering from her room) Hey, did she buy it?
Joey: Its the chick! Shes going through some changes.
Phoebe: I cant!! I cant!! (She dies.) Noooooooo!!!!!!! You son of a bitch!!!!!
Phoebe: Oh my God! You got off easy! When my friend Silvie's husband said someone else's name in bed, she cursed him and turned his thingy green.
Monica: (still hiding under the blankets) So um, who was she?
(She throws a water balloon at him and hits him on the head and hits him again at the waist with another one.)
Phoebe: (A woman with large breasts walks in the door) Ohh knockers will help us figure it out. (She walks by and he checks her out.)
Chandler: (re TV) Ooh, she should not be wearing those pants.
Monica: Look, when it started I was just trying to be nice to her because she was my brother's girlfriend. And then, one thing led to another and, before I knew it, we were...shopping.
Chandler: Oh yeah, Dana Keystone. She was in my Movement class.
JOEY: Cause she uh, she steals stuff.
Rachel: (She comforts him too) Oh, youre gonna be great!
Rachel: Ross! Phoebes gonna be here any second, she cannot see this!
Ross: How did you know she would buy scotch tape?
Chandler: I cant believe she cracked your code!
Phoebe: She sells drugs to kids. (The guard looks at the lurker.)
Ross: Oh, no, no, no, I will! I just want to butter her up, first! You know, Im going to take her to an amazing Valentines dinner. Do all this romantic stuff, and then, just when she thinks Im the best boyfriend in the world, then Im going to tell her that my pregnant ex-girlfriend is living with me.
Rachel: Okay. (She tilts her head back and squeezes the eyedropper. The only problem is, it's not over her eye.)
Phoebe: All right, c'mere, gimme your feet. (She starts massaging them.)
CHANDLER: Yeah, she, she brought the invisible cab. . . hop in.
Rachel: (To Ross) You know what? We should call my mum's house and say goodnight to Emma before she goes down.
(She exits, and after the door is closed, Chandler turns to Joey and )
Phoebe: Like shes really mean, and shes over critical, and-andNo! She will paint a room a really bright color without even checking with you!
Rachel: Oh man! This is so great! I actually feel like Im going on a real date! Although, I have a hint of morning sickness, and Im wearing underwear that goes up to about (She snaps the waistband on her underwear that is just slightly below her breasts) there.
Rachel: (worried and shocked) Yeah, sure Mr. Zelner, for you anythingminute. Okay. Fine. (To Tag) Abort the plan, abort the plan. (She start to usher Tag out.)
Phoebe: No its not great. No, shes coming to tell Ross that she loves him.
(He points to where she's sitting and she jumps up quickly.)
Ross: Well maybe she wouldnt have to be selfish in bed if someone else knew where everything was!
Chandler: Oh, is she related to Ralph Lauren?
Eric: (entering) Hey. Ursula said she left her purse.
Ross: Pheebs, I think shes great. Okay? Were going out again.
Phoebe: Where do you think Mike really is? (she giggles, Chandler looks aghast)
Phoebe: All right, everyone calm down! Everyone calm down! I have something that I would like to say! Who here likes Ross? (Ross is the only one who raises his hand and Phoebe glares at him to put his hand back down.) Of course you don't like him! He-he didn't give you any money, he raised his own hand when I asked, "Who hear likes Ross," and he's wearing two nametags! (He takes one off.) I-I'll be honest with you guys, when I first met Ross I didn't like him at all! But then once I got to know him I saw that he's really sweet and caring and very generous. I mean, all I'm saying is don't judge Ross before you get to know him all right? I mean, I like all you guys now, but when I first meet you y'know Kurt, I thought, y'know abrasive drunk, umm Lola, mind numbingly stupid! And okay, you guys (She turns to an elderly gentleman and a 20 something woman, who're a couple.) (To the girl) Gold-digger, (To the old guy) cradle robbing perv! So, I think you all know what I mean.
Joey: No-no-no-no-no! Its a surprise, but its gonna be tricky thought because she said she was gonna be pretty busy at work for a while.
Joey: Yeah, sure. Well y'know, earlier she was talking about geography.
Monica: You don't know everything. Did you know that I'm going out with Rachel tonight instead of you? Hmm? And did you know that the only baby around here is you?! And did you know that I can't even look at you right now?! (She storms out.)
JOEY: Hold it hold it. I gotta side with Chandler on this one. When I first moved to the city, I went out a couple of times with this girl, really hot, great kisser, but she had the biggest Adam's apple. It made me nuts.
[Scene: Rachels Doctors Office, she is waiting for her doctor as a nurse enters.]
Ross: Yeah well, if ah, if thats the rule this weekend... (She gets up) No!
Monica: Nope, shes perfect.
Phoebe: What a sad little life she must lead. Okay, ooh (starts dialing).
Monica: You go back out there and you seduce her till she cracks!
MR A: Oh, wait, I remember, she also said she wanted to sleep with me one last time.
[Time lapse, Monica is now wearing the dress while doing the dishes and is making like she is thanking her guests for coming to her wedding. Paging Dr. Crane. Dr. Fraiser Crane!]
(She starts to go upstairs.)
[Flashback to: The Street in front of Central Perk, Ross and Joey are holding a yellow tape across the road and everyone is cheering Phoebe as she bounces around the corner on a hippity-hop.]
Monica: It says “Do it!”. And behold she did adopt onto them a baby. And it was good.
Monica: Sush!! I cannot believe she is still up there.
Phoebe: Oh, totally. Oh, God, oh, she seemed so happy too.
(She boards the plane.)
MRS. GELLER: She never tells us anything. Ross, did you know Monica's seeing someone?
ROSS: (entering from Rachel's bedroom) Come on out, honey! I'm telling you look good! (turns around, and under his breath, to the rest of the guys) Tell her she looks good, tell her she looks good.