words in movies
Monica: Well, given that we forgot to invite her it would be an awfully big coincidence if she was.
Rachel: Please, make sure she comes. Its really important to me, I mean its my mom!
Monica: Shes still mad.
Rachel: Mrs. Kay! Oh yeah, she was sweet. She taught me Spanish. I actually think I remember some of it, tu madre es loca. (I think thats your mothers crazy.)
Rachel: Well, however great she was I just cant afford that.
Rachel: She wants to move in with me and Ross to help take care of the baby.
Monica: I personally would be honored if she wanted to live with me.
Phoebe: She cant hear you.
Rachel: Youre right. Youre right. I mean Im about to have a baby, I can tell my mother that I dont want her to just be sleeping on my couch! Oh my God! Shes gonna want to sleep in my bed with me. This cannot happen!
Rachel: Okay. (She goes over to tell her mother.)
Monica: (To Phoebe) This is great! Now shes gonna be mad at Rachel! Yknow what? And Im just gonna swoop in there and be like the daughter she never had.
Rachel: Oh my gosh! Oh wow! Oh, I know what this is! (Shes holding an item with a large suction cup connected to a yellow plastic box, with a long narrow tube and bottle connected the yellow part.) Wait a minute. That cant be right. Is that a beer bong for a baby?
Monica: Rachel, listen to your mother. She is very smart.
Rachel: Oh come(Stutters)Of course I know that. I mean of course you never leave a baby alone! I mean who wouldshe wouldnt be safe as she would be with me, the baby dummy. Oh God, okay. Yknow what? I think opening the presents right now is a little overwhelming right now. So I think umm, Im just gonna maybe open them a little bit later, but thank you all for coming. And for these beautiful gifts, and this basket is beautiful.
Mrs. Green: Now dont worry! Everythings gonna be okay. (Hugs Rachel while she is standing and Rachel is sitting, seeing this Monica decides to join in on the hugging by hugging Mrs. Green from behind her back.)
Monica: It is going to be okay! (Mrs. Green glances over her shoulder and glares at Monica while she heads for the bathroom.) It was worth a shot.
Rachel: No. Shes going to live with us for eight weeks.
Rachel: Yes! Shes gonna help us take care of the baby! Woo-hoo. (Sees that Ross isnt happy.)
Ross: WhatYoure not serious. I mean shes a very nice woman, but there is no way we can take eight weeks of her. Shell drive us totally crazy.
Ross: Well uh, yknow what? Even if she doesnt know anything, I do! I have a son. And his mother and I didnt live together, and whenever he was with me I took care of him all the time, by myself.
Phoebe: Nothing! You have apologized to her like a million times and shes been nothing but terrible to you. And dont forget you just threw her daughter a lovely, albeit slightly boring, shower, and she hasnt even thanked you for it.
Monica: Okay! I will! Mrs. Green? Mrs. Green! (She ignores Monica and Monica follows her out into the hall with Phoebe in tow.) It is rude to leave a party without saying good-bye to the host! Yeah, and-and also when someone apologizes to you the decent thing to do is to accept it! Now what I did to you, it wasnt on purpose! But what youre during to me now is just plain spiteful!
Monica: Okay. (When Phoebe turns around Monica runs out into the hall after Mrs. Green.) Mrs. Green! Okay Im really sorry!! Im apologizing for the(She trips and falls down the stairs.) (Pause) Okay, I bit my tongue, but Im still really sorry!
Ross: What? (Motions for Phoebe to go outside with him.) Oh my God! She-she thinks were engaged! Why? Why? Why would she think were engaged?!
Monica: It was okay. Shes still kind of depressed because she broke up with her boyfriend.
Rachel: She didn't hang up either...
Rachel: No, she left a message. (He starts for the machine.) (Stopping him.) But it-it kinda got erased. There's just (Pause) something wrong with your machine.
Rachel: This bench, its hollow! I cant believe I never knew that! (She pushes all the pillows off it and opens it up) Oh, the presents!!!
[she turns to leave, Frank follows]
ROSS: [puts the message in the cupboard] I don't know, I don't get, I don't get it, I mean, wh, wh, two months ago Rachel and I were like, this close. Right now, what, I'm takin messages from guys she, she meets at the movies? I mean this, this Casey should be takin' down my messages, ya know, or, or, Rachel and I should be together and, and we should get some kind of me, message service.
Rachel: She has got so much going on we-we have only two options. We have Friday
Monica: I am going I'm going--Turn it over! (Rachel rolled onto her stomach and Monica rolls her back.) I'm I am going to get these drops in your eyes. (She is holding Rachel down with both hands and has the eyedropper in her mouth.)
Chandler: I think she looks cute. (Rachel turns around and stares at him angrily) ... but I am wrong!
Tim: Actually shes my-my boss. Sous is French for under.
Phoebe: Oh, really? Does it beat water balloon? (She places her hand over his "fire" and mimics a bursting water balloon, thus putting the fire out).
JOEY: Oh yeah, yeah, she's great, but... I kinda got the feeling that she was sort of... coming on to me. And I definitely would get the part if I would've... you know... if I would have sent the Little General in.
Phoebe: Ooh! Oh! (She starts to pluck at the air just in front of Ross.)
Joey: Wow, what-what do you think she wants?
Janice: Hi, Ross. Yes, it's me. How did you know? (she laughs obnoxiously)
Ross: You deserve to be with someone who appreciates you, and who gets how funny and sweet and amazing, and adorable, and sexy you are, you know? Someone who wakes up every morning thinking "Oh my god, I'm with Rachel". You know, someone who makes you feel good, the way I am with Julie. (Rachel has moved closer, but hearing that she starts to back up.) Was there a second of all?
Ross: Look Chandler, Monica is really weird about this kind stuff all right. Believe me, I lived with her for 16 years. She is going to freak out. Oh my God, she's going to sit on you.
Ross: I don't know, but when I spoke to her, she said she had already passed the mucus plug.
CHANDLER: Well, she looks the exact opposite of that.
Rachel: Look, Im fine. Watch. (She picks up an aspirin between her toes) Look at that. (She lifts her leg to grab the aspirin with her hand and almost falls over.) Whoa-whoa!
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Marcel is hanging from Celia's hair, and she is screaming, trying to get him off.]
(She sets down her bag and we travel back to slow motion world. She once again whips her hair around in slow motion with the love doctor Barry White singing in the background. And Id also like to take this opportunity to mention that she can also be seen in Starship Troopers and that she was born in Downers Grove, Illinois which just happens to be a few miles from where I live. Anyway Cousin Ross is now staring.)
Receptionist: (holds up her handshe is on the phone) It says to call this number if you're not completely satisfied with this candy bar. Well, I'm not completely satisfied.
Phoebe: Dont be so corny Ross, its not an after-school special. (She rides off and the camera pans down to reveal two shiny, silver training wheels firmly attached.)
Joey: I know! Thats why we got to find Monica!! You know where she is?
Rachel: Ross, she still has not noticed that the baby�s sock is on the ground.
Rachel: Ohh, so do you! Did you lose weight? (Shes not quite sure of that one.)
Rachel: Thats also the smaller piece. (Puts the piece onto a plate.) Okay, there you go. Enjoy your half my friend, but that is it. No sharing. No switching, and dont come crying to me if you eat your piece to fast. (As shes saying that she is backing out the door, when she finishes she turns around to return to her place, stumbles and drops the cheesecake on the floor.) Oh!!!!
[Scene: Monica's party. She is seeing off the last of the guests.]
Rachel: Oh Ross youre so tense! You just gotta relax okay? Just need to relax all right? Just need to relax (She takes her hands off of the wheel.)
Joey: Man, I remember the first time I saw that girl Katherine, after we broke up. She was just walking with her friend Donna, just laughing and talking. God, it killed me.
Phoebe: Oh, the Angelica!! Go! Go! (She bangs on the cabs roof and it pulls away.) (To Ross) You didnt get the annulment?!!
Monica: (Into the phone) Hello? Chandler, what's wrong? (She listens) Oh my God, are you alright? (listens some more) Yeah, I'll be right there. (She hangs up and speaks to Amanda) I'm so sorry, but Chandler was in a car accident. (She gets up)
Rachel: Someone? I brought people. Mr. Thompson, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, this is Mr. Thompson. (She introduces them.) Hes the head of my department.
Phoebe: Monica, she will kill you. She will kill you like a dog in the street.
(They move on the couch and start kissing again. Joey does his grazing on Rachel’s thigh and she slaps his hand)
Joey: Umm, can you do me a favor? I was talkin to my sister and she knows you work at Ralph Lauren
Joey: (sleepily) Yeah, she is. Wow! (Falls back asleep, loudly) How you doin?
Ross: Yeah, Joan Tedeski my date. Shes an assistant professor in the Linguistics department. Tall, very beautiful, and despite what some people say, not broad backed!
Rachel: Yeah! (She puts on her coat and turns around and sees Ross is expecting her to help.) (Laughing.) Are you kiddin'?
Ross: (voiceover) So when she came in, I got distracted and totally forgot about the camera. [Cut back to the present day.] It kept rolling and recorded everything.
Chandler: Again, let's journey back... As I recall what Rachel said, was she had never notice the shape of your skull before. And Joey... Well, Joey didn't realise that there was anything different.
Chandler: She?
Rachel: Oh Phoebe, I'm so happy for you honey. (she gives her a kiss)
Paul: I know, I know, I'm such an idiot. I guess I should have caught on when she started going to the dentist four and five times a week. I mean, how clean can teeth get?
(Ross retrieves his jacket and sees that not only has Emily arrived, but she as seen Rachel take her place on the plane.)
Monica: Ross! She's giving us her baby. She can eat you if she wants.
Phoebe: (entering from her room) Hey, did she buy it?
Joey: Its the chick! Shes going through some changes.
Phoebe: I cant!! I cant!! (She dies.) Noooooooo!!!!!!! You son of a bitch!!!!!
Phoebe: Oh my God! You got off easy! When my friend Silvie's husband said someone else's name in bed, she cursed him and turned his thingy green.
Monica: (still hiding under the blankets) So um, who was she?
(She throws a water balloon at him and hits him on the head and hits him again at the waist with another one.)
Phoebe: (A woman with large breasts walks in the door) Ohh knockers will help us figure it out. (She walks by and he checks her out.)
Chandler: (re TV) Ooh, she should not be wearing those pants.
Monica: Look, when it started I was just trying to be nice to her because she was my brother's girlfriend. And then, one thing led to another and, before I knew it, we were...shopping.
Chandler: Oh yeah, Dana Keystone. She was in my Movement class.
JOEY: Cause she uh, she steals stuff.
Rachel: (She comforts him too) Oh, youre gonna be great!
Rachel: Ross! Phoebes gonna be here any second, she cannot see this!
Ross: How did you know she would buy scotch tape?
Chandler: I cant believe she cracked your code!
Phoebe: She sells drugs to kids. (The guard looks at the lurker.)
Ross: Oh, no, no, no, I will! I just want to butter her up, first! You know, Im going to take her to an amazing Valentines dinner. Do all this romantic stuff, and then, just when she thinks Im the best boyfriend in the world, then Im going to tell her that my pregnant ex-girlfriend is living with me.
Rachel: Okay. (She tilts her head back and squeezes the eyedropper. The only problem is, it's not over her eye.)
Phoebe: All right, c'mere, gimme your feet. (She starts massaging them.)
CHANDLER: Yeah, she, she brought the invisible cab. . . hop in.
Rachel: (To Ross) You know what? We should call my mum's house and say goodnight to Emma before she goes down.
(She exits, and after the door is closed, Chandler turns to Joey and )
Phoebe: Like shes really mean, and shes over critical, and-andNo! She will paint a room a really bright color without even checking with you!
Rachel: Oh man! This is so great! I actually feel like Im going on a real date! Although, I have a hint of morning sickness, and Im wearing underwear that goes up to about (She snaps the waistband on her underwear that is just slightly below her breasts) there.
Rachel: (worried and shocked) Yeah, sure Mr. Zelner, for you anythingminute. Okay. Fine. (To Tag) Abort the plan, abort the plan. (She start to usher Tag out.)
Phoebe: No its not great. No, shes coming to tell Ross that she loves him.
(He points to where she's sitting and she jumps up quickly.)
Ross: Well maybe she wouldnt have to be selfish in bed if someone else knew where everything was!
Chandler: Oh, is she related to Ralph Lauren?
Eric: (entering) Hey. Ursula said she left her purse.
Ross: Pheebs, I think shes great. Okay? Were going out again.
Phoebe: Where do you think Mike really is? (she giggles, Chandler looks aghast)
Phoebe: All right, everyone calm down! Everyone calm down! I have something that I would like to say! Who here likes Ross? (Ross is the only one who raises his hand and Phoebe glares at him to put his hand back down.) Of course you don't like him! He-he didn't give you any money, he raised his own hand when I asked, "Who hear likes Ross," and he's wearing two nametags! (He takes one off.) I-I'll be honest with you guys, when I first met Ross I didn't like him at all! But then once I got to know him I saw that he's really sweet and caring and very generous. I mean, all I'm saying is don't judge Ross before you get to know him all right? I mean, I like all you guys now, but when I first meet you y'know Kurt, I thought, y'know abrasive drunk, umm Lola, mind numbingly stupid! And okay, you guys (She turns to an elderly gentleman and a 20 something woman, who're a couple.) (To the girl) Gold-digger, (To the old guy) cradle robbing perv! So, I think you all know what I mean.
Joey: No-no-no-no-no! Its a surprise, but its gonna be tricky thought because she said she was gonna be pretty busy at work for a while.
Joey: Yeah, sure. Well y'know, earlier she was talking about geography.
Monica: You don't know everything. Did you know that I'm going out with Rachel tonight instead of you? Hmm? And did you know that the only baby around here is you?! And did you know that I can't even look at you right now?! (She storms out.)
JOEY: Hold it hold it. I gotta side with Chandler on this one. When I first moved to the city, I went out a couple of times with this girl, really hot, great kisser, but she had the biggest Adam's apple. It made me nuts.
[Scene: Rachels Doctors Office, she is waiting for her doctor as a nurse enters.]
MRS. GELLER: She never tells us anything. Ross, did you know Monica's seeing someone?
Monica: Nope, shes perfect.
Phoebe: What a sad little life she must lead. Okay, ooh (starts dialing).
MR A: Oh, wait, I remember, she also said she wanted to sleep with me one last time.
(She starts to go upstairs.)
[Flashback to: The Street in front of Central Perk, Ross and Joey are holding a yellow tape across the road and everyone is cheering Phoebe as she bounces around the corner on a hippity-hop.]
Monica: It says “Do it!”. And behold she did adopt onto them a baby. And it was good.
Monica: Sush!! I cannot believe she is still up there.
(She boards the plane.)
Ross: Yeah well, if ah, if thats the rule this weekend... (She gets up) No!
Monica: You go back out there and you seduce her till she cracks!
[Time lapse, Monica is now wearing the dress while doing the dishes and is making like she is thanking her guests for coming to her wedding. Paging Dr. Crane. Dr. Fraiser Crane!]
Phoebe: Oh, totally. Oh, God, oh, she seemed so happy too.
ROSS: (entering from Rachel's bedroom) Come on out, honey! I'm telling you look good! (turns around, and under his breath, to the rest of the guys) Tell her she looks good, tell her she looks good.