words in movies
[Scene: In a TV commercial that the gang is watching at Monica and Rachel's.]
ROSS: That commercial always makes me so sad.
PHOEBE: I can see that, 'cause they both have those big brown eyes and, ya know, the little pouty chin. MONICA: And the fact that they're both monkeys.
RACHEL: Oh, Ross, you had to, I mean, he was humping everything in sight. I mean, I have a Malibu Barbi that will no longer be wearing white to her wedding.
MONICA: [reading] 'Dear Dr. Remore, know that I love you and would do anything to have you.' Gosh. 'Your not-so-secretive admirer, Erica Ford.' Ooh wait, 'PS enclosed please find 14 of my eyelashes.'
RACHEL: Ya know, in crazy world, that means you're married.
CHANDLER: You know I think he will be surprised, 'till he realizes he's a monkey, and uh, you know, isn't capable of that emotion.
RACHEL: Oh, Phoebe, that really cute guy is here again.
PHOEBE: Oh, I would love to have kids. . . you're, you're the, you're, me play the songs that I will write for them.
CHANDLER: Well, she looks the exact opposite of that.
CHANDLER: Oh no no no, she's a total wack job. Yeah, she thinks that Joey is actually Dr. Drake Remore.
JOEY: Yeah, that was a tricky one. In reality, that operation takes like, over 10 hours, but they only showed it for 2 minites.
JOEY: Alright, just one. [she licks his hands rather emphatically] Wow, you're good at that.
ROSS: Uhh, hey look, I don't really enjoy being with other men that way. But, um, zoo dollars?
ERICA: I don't understand, why didn't you help that man?
JOEY: Uhh, cause, uhh, I'm a neurosurgeon and that was clearly a case of, uh, uh, foodal chokage. Alright, look, I got to tell you something.
PHOEBE: [singing] There'll be times when you get older when you'll want to sleep with people just to make them like you. . . But don't. Cause that's another thing that you don't wanna do, everybody That's another thing that you don't wanna do.
ROB: That was great, the kids loved you.
ROB: The thing is, I think some of the parents, they were kinda hopin' that you'd play more songs about like, barnyard animals.
PHOEBE: I can do that.
ROB: Because that would be fantastic. What? You wanna kiss me?
ROSS: Oh my God. But the zoo told me that my monkey was dead.
ROSS: That, that's the only thing the zoo's ever told me.
ROSS: That guy Lipson?
RACHEL: Well how can that be, you were just kissing Sabrina?
JOEY: It's not what you think, that was...
KID: Excuse me. Is this where the singing lady is that tells the truth?
JOEY: Well, we're, we're just goin' over here so that we can get away from the horrible flesh eating virus, for the love of God woman, listen to me. Is he lookin', is he lookin'?
SUSIE: I can't do Chris's makeup. She refuses to acknowledge that she has a moustasche.
SUSIE: It's nice to see you're not still wearing that denim cap with all the little mirrors on it.
CHANDLER: Yes, back then I, uh, used humor as a defense mechanism. Thank God I don't do that anymore.
RACHEL: What, so you go over there, you tell him you think he's cute, what's the worst that could happen?
SUSIE: OK, well then who was the kid that got caught masturbating?
CHANDLER: No one was around to hear that?
RACHEL: And then Jean-Claude took me to that place Crossroads and that's where we hung out with Drew Barrymore.
RACHEL: That is so unfair.
ROSS: Hey Joey I have to cancel racketball for tonight, that was Marcel's trainer. He's gonna let me have him for a couple of hours.
CHANDLER: Oh no no no no, no no no no no no, you see, what I had planned shouldn't take more that 2, 3 minutes tops.
RACHEL: Alright, I feel that this is totally unjustified. [Monica starts making faces behind her back] She gave me the green light, I did nothing but-. Do you think I can't see you in the TV set?
PHOEBE: Alright Monica, if there is something that you would like to share...
RACHEL: That is the most ridiculous.
RACHEL: OK, well, you wouldn't let me finish and I was jus- [Monica flicks her back] Ow. That hurt [flicks Monica]
RACHEL: Oh, what do you, you want me to stop seeing him, is that what you want?
RACHEL: You want me to just call him up and tell him that you're seeing him instead? That's what you want?
SUSIE: How come all I can think about is putting that ice in my mouth and licking you all over?
CHANDLER: That was in the fourth grade. How could you still be upset about that?
MONICA: I can't believe this, just like 2 weeks ago I was watching Sudden Death, now I'm on a date with Jean-Claude Van Damme. Can you beat up that guy? [he nods] Can you beat up that guy?
MONICA: This is so wild. Ya know, I gotta admit, I was kinda surprised that you agreed to go on a blind date.
RACHEL: OK, OK, that is my favorite sweater, that is my third date sweater.
MONICA: I'm sorry that I made you stop seeing him.
MONICA: I'm sorry that I borrowed your gloves [pulls Rachel's gloves out of her purse]
ROSS: [to Joey who's looking over a toilet stall] Joey, some people don't like that.
ROSS: Ahh, oh that's OK, I mean, he's probably got, you know, parties to go to and stuff. But, ya know, he's moved on. Hey, that, that's the way it goes right.
ROSS: Bye Marcel. See ya on the big screen. You keep people drinkin' that beer, OK. I miss you buddy.
CHANDLER: How long you been waitin' to say that?
Monica: That, you get? That, you get?
Joey: Man, it must be so cool remembering stuff like that! I don't have any past life memories.
Phoebe: yeah I've nothing to be ashamed of ok so I haven't been in a relationship that lasted longer then a month. Ok I haven't had a real boyfriend you know if he can't handle that he can leave. which he will and that's ok. so I'll just be alone forever you know alright I'll be. it'll be fine. it'll be fine. I'll go walking tours with widows and lesbians. Oh (takes a deep breath and sits down, knock on the door)
Joey: Look, its not that easy. She said she wanted to marry me. I dont want to hurt her.
Ross: Thats interesting, but check this out. I date her
Monica: Rachel! That was a library card!
Janice: Mmm-hmm. Because I know that this isn't the end.
Phoebe: Oh-oh no she doesnt! I know what that is. You can stay.
Joey: She really said that?
Rachel: Honey see, it doesnt mean that I dont love you. Because I do. I love you, I love you so much. But my work its-its for me y'know, Im out there, on my own, and Im doing it and its scary but I love it, because its mine. I, but, I mean is that okay?
Big Nosed Rachel: Guess what?! All that stuff about Nancy Branson being a slut was all a rumor so Chip dumped her and he wants to come over to my house tonight!
Monica: This switch thing has been driving me crazy. So I turned it off and checked every outlet. Now, four of them dont work. Which means, one of them has to be controlled by the switch. So, I plugged in things in all four of the outlets that-that make noise, so that way, when I turn it on I just follow the noise and find out which one it is.
Chandler: Oh, thats Parents Day, first grade. Thats me with the janitor Martin.
Chandler: Little baby girl Chandler, where I have heard that before? Oh right, Coach Ruben. (Tries to get her to drink a little more from the bottle when he suddenly smells something. Its times like these Im glad Smell-O-Vision hasnt been invented.) Do you know what Pheebs? When youre done over there, we kinda have a situation over here too. (Phoebe is changing hers.)
Chandler: Because that's who I am, okay? I'm sure a mature man like Richard could see a tape like that and it wouldn't bother him. Just'd be another saucy anecdote for him to share at his men's club over brandy and moustaches.
Phoebe: Eww, I don't wanna do that.
Rachel: Amy, that’s what I was supposed to wear today, that’s why I hung it on the door.
The Interviewer: Thank you. The readers at Soap Opera Digest will be happy to hear that.
Joey: Oh. That is quite a situation. Uh, do you see any like, powder?
Joey: Theres this woman, that I like. A lot. Well, its complicated. Shes with this other guy. For a long time. And I could never do that to the guy, yknow? Ccause were really good friends.
Mr Zelner: Wow, that is tempting.
Ross: Yeah. Listen about that, the whole uh, who came on to who thing really doesnt matter. I mean, I think it wouldve happened either way. I mean if you hadnt initiated it I-I-I know I wouldve.
The Director: Oh thats great! Okay, well Ive heard everything I need to hear. I just need to uh, Leslie
Janice: Oh, look at us! Who wouldve thought that Cupid had a station at 14th Street Nails. (Does the laugh)
PHOEBE: Oh, no no, that side doesn't have one, the paramedics had to cut through it. [Chandler jumps out of the car]
Monica: Find some! Please! Anything that doesnt say I-I died tragically in France. (Joey leaves to find clothes.)
Rachel: Ross, you don't know that.
Joey: Uh yeah. Pheebs, listen about that. I only offered
Monica: Oh, thats okay. By the way, I was just checking the shower massager.
Phoebe: (yelling from the bedroom) Get away from that! No! (she comes into the living room carrying the phone) She's just getting dressed.
Ursula: Hi. Okay, will that be all?
Ross: (Reading letters) Oh God. (To Marcel) We didn't get into Scranton. (To the others) That was like our safety zoo. They take like dogs and cows. See? I don't know who this is harder on, me or him.
Joey: Ah, Rach, it doesn't say that!
Phoebe: I could do that.
Rachel: Oh..Go..Oh..and I told my boss that someone made out with Ralph Lauren. If she finds out that I lied to her, she is going to hate me even more. Phoebe!!
Phoebe Sr: I realise I dont have any right to start get all parenty on you and everything now, but umm, (Sees that Phoebe isnt paying attention and is busy mimicking the puppy.) uhh Phoebe, would you please look at me and not the puppy, its very important.
Rachel: Oh, that is so sick.
Phoebe: No, I didn't tell anybody that I knew you.
Phoebe: (gasps) Oh, you so would! Oh, you should get that anyway. (They both look at her.) Like for clubbing.
Cecilia: Is that supposed to be me?
Director: No, that was clenching.
Monica: Well, it's like that. With feelings.
Chandler: Deposit my specimen? You know, usually I have to call a 900 number for that kind of talk. Thanks, got it.
CHANDLER: Well don't you see how gross that is? I mean that's like you using my toothbrush. [Joey gets a sheepish look] You used my toothbrush?
Rachel: Ok, I, I hear what you're sayin'. I'm with you. Um, but I, but I'm trying really hard. And I think I'm doing better. I really do. Does anybody need coffee? (everyone in the place raises their hand) Oh, look at that.
Phoebe: 'Cause, you know, (in that voice) if you don't look good, we don't look good. I love that voice.
Ross: (sarcastic) And you made it through that? I wonder who's gonna play you in the movie!
Ross: No, no, that-that, thats all right. Umm, Im just glad you called.
Chandler: Oh no-no-no, you dont want to do that, then youre gonna get stuck with Rachel and she exchanges every gift she ever gets.
Chandler: Thats not really important right now. What is important is; while we appreciate the gesture, we just dont feel bagpipes are appropriate for our wedding.
Monica: Okay. It's-it's about Alan. There's something that you should know. I mean, there's really no easy way to say this.. uh.. I've decided to break up with Alan.
Phoebe: Wait, what was that? That sounded like someone being nice to you.
Chandler: If that doesnt keep kids in school, what will?
Chandler: Somewhere there is someone with a tranquilizer gun and a huge butterfly net looking for that man.
Chandler: Lie!!! How hard is that?! The checks in the mail! Oh your baby is so cute! I cant wait to read your book Ross!!
Chandler: (laughs) Oh thats great, my friend Joeys in the movie business.
Joey: Oh my God! Thats huge! (Hugs him.) Wait a minute, why come I wasnt invited? And who was going to be your best man? Dont say, "Ross." Do not say, "Ross."
Rachel: All right, all right, all right. Last night, I had a dream that, uh, you and I, were...
Big Nosed Rachel: Ugh! I cannot believe Chip dumped me for that slut Nancy Branson. I am never going out with him again. I don't care how much he begs!
Rachel: Wow! I definitely did not see that one backfiring! Im gonna go to the bathroom.
Phoebe: All good, thanks. (to Rachel) Do you maybe have a nickname have like a nickname thats easier to rhyme?
Rachel: Okay. Okay. All right, you take care of that. And meanwhile, the party is tomorrow and we still dont have a guest list.
Rachel: (entering Joannas office) Umm, Joanna? I wanna talk about that interview.
Monica: That doesn't seem fair.
Chandler: Don't say that. Don't tangle the dream and take it away.
Chandler: That is so not... That is so not... That... Oh, shut up!
Rachel: Oh, Monica. You are not still going over that thing.
Joey: Are you kidding? I love that guy! (Starts singing) Mornings here! Morning is here
(Ross proceeds to apply copious amounts of the lotion on his legs. He literally starts spraying the back of his legs with the lotion, and as he applies some to his butt he makes a happy face like he enjoyed that sensation. After using about half the bottle he again tries to pull up his pants, but at the first sign of resistance, his hand slips off of the pants and hits him in the forehead.)
Joey: You call that delicious?
Ross: (he bounds into the lounge room) But you didn't! I'm still alive!! Kori, I know this is a big surprise for you. It's a long story but the things you just said really made my day! I mean, the fact that you are here means more to me than if this room were filled with people!
Rachel: Thank you! I had just gone to the beach that weekend.
MRS. GELLER: Oh, Jack look, there's that house paint commercial that cracks you up. [the Gellers return to watching TV and Ross goes over to Monica]
Rachel: Oh it... good! Yeah, but I'm not gonna hear from that for a couple of days.
Monica: How was that possible?
Ross: You dont understand! Elizabeth was about to ask me to go on a trip with her! Is that taking it slow?! No, Im not ready for this! Okay? What-what do I tell her?
Young Ethan: Yeah, I'd really like that.
Monica: You keep saying that.
Rachel: Um, what- what would make you think that?
Rachel/actress: It's over! You have to accept that.
Rachel: Okay. (watching the tape) Ooh, my! (Rachel jumps when the woman starts screaming) Woah! Why is that baby torturing that woman?!
Ross: Does it? Does it? Yeah, I wanted to give that whole Does it? part just another glance.
Rachel: I cannot believe that you didnt tell me that we are still married!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, later that same day. Joey and Chandler are eating pizza, and Phoebe is trying to knit something.]
Chandler: Is not as important as the fact that Phoebe took care of the babies all by herself.
Ross: And thank you, for that.
Amy: No, she was this really dorky girl in high school that used to follow Rachel around like a puppy dog.
Rachel: Yeah, but that just means that he was falling asleep on top of her instead of me.
Monica: Oh honey, were close now but you-you wouldnt believe the years of-of nugies, and wedgies, and flying wedgies, and atomic wedgies, and....(Phoebe shakes her head like she doesnt understand) Thats where the waistband actually goes over your head.
Joey: All right, thats it! He cannot do this to Phoebe. (gets up) This guy is going to get the butt kicking of a lifetime! (stops and turns around and asks Rachel) But, is he a big guy?
Phoebe: Okay. (on phone) Hey, can you send somebody up and down 76 and check every rest stop, and, and also 93? (listens) Okay! (hangs up) Yeah, no they dont do that.
Gunther: I... I don't know if that changes your plans at all, but I thought you should know.
Monica: That was gonna be my opener.
Chandler: Oh well, not as lovely as you. I mean, I cant believe that you would have a thirty-year-old daughter! (To Mr. Geller) And you! I cant believe that you would have a tux thats thirty years old! (Puts his hand on Mr. Gellers shoulder.)
Joey: Come on Rach, not again. I got it! Okay? Lets start sailing, and I want to go over there (Points) where that boatload of girls is! (Yelling to them) Yo-ho-ho!
Chandler: Oh, it's nothing, it's a little thing... I hate that guy.
Monica: I know there'll be other houses, but it's just so... I love that one so much.
Joey: Do we have to know about that?
Chandler: It is going to be perfect. I am taking her to her favorite restaurant. Im going to get her a bottle of the champagne that she really loves; therefore knows how expensive it is. Then when the glasses are full, instead of proposing a toast Im just gonna propose.
Ross: Marcel! Where are you going with that disc?