words in movies
[Scene: In a TV commercial that the gang is watching at Monica and Rachel's.]
ROSS: That commercial always makes me so sad.
PHOEBE: I can see that, 'cause they both have those big brown eyes and, ya know, the little pouty chin. MONICA: And the fact that they're both monkeys.
RACHEL: Oh, Ross, you had to, I mean, he was humping everything in sight. I mean, I have a Malibu Barbi that will no longer be wearing white to her wedding.
MONICA: [reading] 'Dear Dr. Remore, know that I love you and would do anything to have you.' Gosh. 'Your not-so-secretive admirer, Erica Ford.' Ooh wait, 'PS enclosed please find 14 of my eyelashes.'
RACHEL: Ya know, in crazy world, that means you're married.
CHANDLER: You know I think he will be surprised, 'till he realizes he's a monkey, and uh, you know, isn't capable of that emotion.
RACHEL: Oh, Phoebe, that really cute guy is here again.
PHOEBE: Oh, I would love to have kids. . . you're, you're the, you're, me play the songs that I will write for them.
CHANDLER: Well, she looks the exact opposite of that.
CHANDLER: Oh no no no, she's a total wack job. Yeah, she thinks that Joey is actually Dr. Drake Remore.
JOEY: Yeah, that was a tricky one. In reality, that operation takes like, over 10 hours, but they only showed it for 2 minites.
JOEY: Alright, just one. [she licks his hands rather emphatically] Wow, you're good at that.
ROSS: Uhh, hey look, I don't really enjoy being with other men that way. But, um, zoo dollars?
ERICA: I don't understand, why didn't you help that man?
JOEY: Uhh, cause, uhh, I'm a neurosurgeon and that was clearly a case of, uh, uh, foodal chokage. Alright, look, I got to tell you something.
PHOEBE: [singing] There'll be times when you get older when you'll want to sleep with people just to make them like you. . . But don't. Cause that's another thing that you don't wanna do, everybody That's another thing that you don't wanna do.
ROB: That was great, the kids loved you.
ROB: The thing is, I think some of the parents, they were kinda hopin' that you'd play more songs about like, barnyard animals.
PHOEBE: I can do that.
ROB: Because that would be fantastic. What? You wanna kiss me?
ROSS: Oh my God. But the zoo told me that my monkey was dead.
ROSS: That, that's the only thing the zoo's ever told me.
ROSS: That guy Lipson?
RACHEL: Well how can that be, you were just kissing Sabrina?
JOEY: It's not what you think, that was...
KID: Excuse me. Is this where the singing lady is that tells the truth?
JOEY: Well, we're, we're just goin' over here so that we can get away from the horrible flesh eating virus, for the love of God woman, listen to me. Is he lookin', is he lookin'?
SUSIE: I can't do Chris's makeup. She refuses to acknowledge that she has a moustasche.
SUSIE: It's nice to see you're not still wearing that denim cap with all the little mirrors on it.
CHANDLER: Yes, back then I, uh, used humor as a defense mechanism. Thank God I don't do that anymore.
RACHEL: What, so you go over there, you tell him you think he's cute, what's the worst that could happen?
SUSIE: OK, well then who was the kid that got caught masturbating?
CHANDLER: No one was around to hear that?
RACHEL: And then Jean-Claude took me to that place Crossroads and that's where we hung out with Drew Barrymore.
RACHEL: That is so unfair.
ROSS: Hey Joey I have to cancel racketball for tonight, that was Marcel's trainer. He's gonna let me have him for a couple of hours.
CHANDLER: Oh no no no no, no no no no no no, you see, what I had planned shouldn't take more that 2, 3 minutes tops.
RACHEL: Alright, I feel that this is totally unjustified. [Monica starts making faces behind her back] She gave me the green light, I did nothing but-. Do you think I can't see you in the TV set?
PHOEBE: Alright Monica, if there is something that you would like to share...
RACHEL: That is the most ridiculous.
RACHEL: OK, well, you wouldn't let me finish and I was jus- [Monica flicks her back] Ow. That hurt [flicks Monica]
RACHEL: Oh, what do you, you want me to stop seeing him, is that what you want?
RACHEL: You want me to just call him up and tell him that you're seeing him instead? That's what you want?
SUSIE: How come all I can think about is putting that ice in my mouth and licking you all over?
CHANDLER: That was in the fourth grade. How could you still be upset about that?
MONICA: I can't believe this, just like 2 weeks ago I was watching Sudden Death, now I'm on a date with Jean-Claude Van Damme. Can you beat up that guy? [he nods] Can you beat up that guy?
MONICA: This is so wild. Ya know, I gotta admit, I was kinda surprised that you agreed to go on a blind date.
RACHEL: OK, OK, that is my favorite sweater, that is my third date sweater.
MONICA: I'm sorry that I made you stop seeing him.
MONICA: I'm sorry that I borrowed your gloves [pulls Rachel's gloves out of her purse]
ROSS: [to Joey who's looking over a toilet stall] Joey, some people don't like that.
ROSS: Ahh, oh that's OK, I mean, he's probably got, you know, parties to go to and stuff. But, ya know, he's moved on. Hey, that, that's the way it goes right.
ROSS: Bye Marcel. See ya on the big screen. You keep people drinkin' that beer, OK. I miss you buddy.
CHANDLER: How long you been waitin' to say that?
Chandler: Oh, I am no women, but that is one tasty dish. (Phoebe walks in.)
Phoebe: ThatIts not the same thing! This is totally different! This is with David! Remember David, the scientist guy? Okay, hes very special to me.
Joanna: You tell your friend Chandler that were definately broken up this time.
Rachel: Okay. (Pushes play.) Okay, thats him! Thats him! Thats Cujo! Thats Cujo!
Joey: Thats your move? Boy Rach, youre lucky youre hot.
Rachel: No! No, no-no-no Joey he doesnt want to buy my baby! I made that up!
Monica: Uh well that depends, how are things with Phoebe?
Ross: What? Rach! Come on, thats terrible! Theyre uh theyre babies. Theyre-theyre all beautiful.
The Instructor: Okay ladies, that ends todays class, and lets remember, lets be safe out there.
Ross: Not touching myself if that makes anyone less uncomfortable.
Pete: Well don't forget that fiches over there by Rachel.
Ross: Ok, but you know what? I gotta say, I'm really impressed that you were able to memorize all this so quickly!
Monica: Thats not your regular dry cleaners.
The Photographer: (taking pictures) Great! Thats great Monica! Great! Now, Chandler, you want to give us a smile?
(For the first time we see that the woman Ross is talking too is in fact the hot girl that Joey is looking for. She just kinda stares at him.)
Ross: Okay, okay, I was typing names into the library computer earlier, yknow-yknow for fun, and I typed mine in and guess what came up? My doctoral dissertation! Its here! Yeah, its right-its right down here! In the biggest library in the university! (They start heading that way, towards a secluded section behind the racks.)
Rachel: Yeah I know! I miss that.
Phoebe: Oh, what was that for? Like a bake sale?
Monica: Really you can do that?
Chandler: OK, I'm officially unpacked. Thanks for helping me man. (Turns around and sees that Joey isn't there.) Joe? (Hears giggling coming from a box) Well, I guess Joey went home. Oh and look, there's still one box that I have to unpack. (Hears the giggling again)
Ross: Can you believe that?
Joey: Although some of that stuff wasn't where you said it was gonna be, but... (confidently) I made it work.
Joey: Good evening. Im Mr. Tribbiani. And I will be teaching acting for soap operas. Now um, on my first day as (proudly) Dr. Drake Remoray on Days of Our Lives, (looks for a reaction from his students, and gets none.) I learned that one of the most important things in soap opera acting is reacting, this does not mean acting again, it means, you dont have a line, but someone else just did. And it goes like this. (looks all intense for a moment and then gasps, the students cheer him) Thanks, thanks, a lot. Oh, by the way, before I forget to work in soap operas some of you will have to become much more attractive. All right, moving right along.
Phoebe: Yep, we shook on it. Yeah but believe me that is not how he wanted to seal the deal.
PHOEBE: It's not even that. I used to do my songs because it made me happy, but now it's like, it's just all about the money.
Monica: Remember that guy that gave me a bad review? Well (Feeds him a spoonful of what shes cooking.) Im getting my revenge!
Rachel: Oh yeah. Thats a great story.
Aunt Lisa: Oh that is so sweet!
Joey: Yeah, I think we said good-bye to that when we invented hammer darts.
Monica: Yeah, I talked to you on the phone, Im the lady that got stuck with the racecar bed.
Phoebe: Whats that now?
Phoebe: Okay, I cant believe that Monica and Chandler are getting married. I remember talking about this day with Rachel while we were showering together, naked. (Raises her glass and drinks.)
Mrs. Geller: Thank you Monica that was uh, interesting. Wasnt it interesting, Jack?
Monica: Excuse us! (then to Phoebe) Alright here's a question: Who was so worried about her restaurant being fancy that she made a big deal about her friend playing her music and feels really bad about it now? (raises her hand)
Rachel: Well, that wouldve been very hard to say no too.
Rachel: Joey, how do you make that dirty?
Passenger: (Frustrated he takes his headphones off.) Oh, oh oh!! Im sorry, can I interrupt? You know I just want to say..That you are a horrible, horrible person.
Phoebe: Okay. Rachel, the hottest babies in the Tri-State Area are in this room right now! I overheard one of the judges say that not one of them holds a candle to Emma!
Monica: Yeah. And yknow, if you wanna cry, thats okay too.
Rachel: Ohh! Thats so sweet of you! Oh yum! (Takes a bite out of the sandwich and starts to get sick.) Did you put pickles on this?
Monica: Okay. Okay, I got one. Do you remember that vegetarian pate that I made that you loved so much?
Chandler: Honey, I got us that room at the Woodford Inn this weekend.
ROSS: That doesn't matter. She wanted to call Bob. Hey, for all we know, Bob is who she was meant to be with. You may be destroying two people's chance for happiness.
Rachel: That is the Coast Guard.
Joey: Thats kinda nice.
Joey: Uh, well yeah-yeah, I've got all of that going on. Yeah, listen uh, I want you to make sure you tell Chandler that he couldn't have been more wrong! Uh-oh! I gotta go Monica, my uh, my sushi's here!
Rachel: Pete the Weeper? Remember that guy who used to cry every time we had sex. (imitating) "Was it good for you?"
Rachel: What college was that Dina?
Chandler: Wish it! (To the woman, Kathy, he likes) Hi. Hi, I-I was just sitting over there, and uhh, Chandler. My name is Chandler. Did I say that?
Chandler: Thats still in there?!
Phoebe: Yep! As long as you understand that I'm going to call my lawyer and once he puts you on the stand he'll make you look like a fool. A fool!
Rachel: (starting to move closer to him) Thats right, I wanna do it with you! Ive been trying to fight it, but you just said all the right things.
Ross: Don't say that.
Rachel: Yeah, not girls anyway, guys agree (snaps her fingers) like that.
Rachel: Aside from the fact that you said you had them?
Mrs. Tribbiani: Of course I knew! What did you think? Your father is no James Bond. You should've heard some of his cover stories. "I'm sleeping over at my accountant's," I mean, what is that? Please!
Phoebe: No-no, I know that, but I just have to make enough money for the second part of my plan.
JOEY: I just... I just don't think that I want it that way though, y'know? I mean, let's say I do make it, alright? I'm always gonna look back and wonder if it was because of my talent or because of.. y'know, the Little General.
Ross: Uh no, no just-just that he is a great guy.
Ross: I would say that.
Monica: (entering) Did I miss it? (Phoebe nods no.) Rachel, I-I want you to know that, if its positive, were gonna
Rachel: Well, thats a lot better than Ross trying to kiss me in High School, and saying that he did it because he needed chapstick.
Rachel: That proposal, at the planetarium
Phoebe: I dunno, lets see! So, okay, I dreamt that we were gonna get married, and he left, becuz he had to go fight a fire. And, um, so okay, I went to a night club, and I saw him making out with a girl.
Phoebe: Oh, my first massage today is this incredibly gorgeous guy, and every time I see him I just want to do things to him that Im not allowed to charge for.
Phoebe: See, that just means it's working. Does this hurt? (presses down elsewhere)
Monica: Hey, Joey, I dont think that you should leave Chandler alone. I mean its only been two days since he broke up with Kathy. Maybe you can go fishing next week?
Chandler: Thats great.
Ross: Oh, you have to call the police! Thats what I did to the kids in my building!
MINDY: Well uh, after you ran out on your wedding, Barry's parents told people that you were sort of....insane.
Phoebe: No. Its all right; its probably false labour. They said that, that can happen near the end, just somebody get the book.
Chandler: Let me see that.
ROSS: I'll take that dad. [grabs the bat]
[Cut back to Monica and Rachel's apartment, Rachel is singing along with a song and dancing while facing the big picture window. Y'know, I think I'd pay real good money to be on the other side of that window!]
Rachel: So I don't go back to work for another four weeks, but we would like our nanny to start right away, so that Emma could get a chance to know her.
(Ross continues to climb down. He puts his other foot further down on Joeys torso, but that doesnt work very well and hes forced to wrap his legs around Joey. Which then forces Joey to get a nice and close view of Rosss crotch.)
Phoebe: Well, there's a spot open for only one groomsman and you have to choose between Ross and Chandler. So good luck with that.
Rachel: Yeah, I can do that.
Chandler: Okay, but after that, were shootin some pool.
Phoebe: Really?! Oh thats so exciting! Thank you! Thanks Mon! Oh but Mon, if you touch my guitar again Ill have to pound on you for a little bit.
Phoebe: You guys, um I know that this really doesn't have anything to do with me, but um I love you guys too. (Joins in on the hug.) Oh, I really needed that. (Goes and sits down.)
Monica: Would you let it go? It's not that big a deal.
(Rachel joins Monica who is in the kitchen area, opening the wine bottle. Rachel checks that the doctors aren't listening, then lowers her voice anyway.)
Conan: Matthew, you have a reputation with the rest of the cast that sometimes you like to, you like to fool around a bit. I mean like if somethings naturally going wrong you like to get in there and juice it a little bit. True or false?
Chandler: Ooh. Uh, I don't know how to tell you this, but she's in Monica's bedroom, getting it on with Max, that scientist geek. Ooh, look at that, I did know how to tell you.
Ross: (he makes some really weird noise hear that sounds kind of like )Ayyyayyyy!
Young Ethan: All right, look. I've gotta tell you something. I'm not 17. I only said so that you'd think I was cute and vunerable. I'm actually 30, I have a wife, I have a job, I'm your Congressman. Monica, this is ridiculous, we're great together. We can talk, we make each other laugh, and the sex. Oh, man, okay i have no frame of graft, but I thought that was great.
Rachel: Well that is because your eye immediately goes to the big naked man.
JOEY: See after the scene, Mr. Beatty comes up to me and says 'good actor, bad kisser'. Can you believe that, me not a good kisser, that's like, like Mother Theresa, not a good mother.
Ross: Wow! The only thing I got from my Grandmother was her eyes. I mean not-not her actual eyeballs, but, but people say that my eyesDo-do you want to make out?
Chandler: Thats what I do now.
Joey: Wow! How do you know how to do that?!
Monica: Joey! (He returns) Now that youre here
Rachel: Oh, I mean shes gonna be at the wedding waiting for him and people will be whispering, "Oh that poor girl." Yknow? Then shell have to come back here and live all alone.
Joey: (To the rest of the gang) Hey, see that? He just needed his pal to come home. All right, uh, Ive got to go memorise my lines. (Starts to go his bedroom) Me and Charlton Heston bright and early tomorrow morning! Yeah-yeah!
Rachel: Ok, not that you need it but good...GOD!Is that Chase Lassiter?He's straight, right?
Ross: Let me see that! (Grabs the invitation and reads it.) Oh man!
Ross: Thats my gym.
Cashier: Really?! That is so cool!
Chandler: (To Joey) Would you put that back on?! Monicas gonna be here any minute!