words in movies
Joey: Rach, I told you everything I knew last night! Look, it's not that big of a deal, so Monica and Chandler are doing it.
Rachel: I can't believe you would say that!
Chandler: Did they teach you that in your anger management class?
Rachel: Pheebs, I dont think anyone's mad about that.
Joey: (eyeing the flattened scone) Anybody gonna eat that?
Both: We can't do that. (They separate.)
Chandler: I asked myself that very question, sir. Uh, (Points to Monica) this is Monica. (Points to his boss.) This is my boss, Doug. Doug this is Monica.
Monica: What was that?
Monica: That noise you just made?
Chandler: Oh, that was my work laugh.
Chandler: And! They like me more just because I was with ya! I think you repaired a lot of the damage from when they met Joey. And Doug wants us to play tennis with them. He's never even talked to me outside of work. Except for that time when we bumped into each other at that strip club. (She glares at him.) Strip church. Anyway, I'm gonna go try and find a racquet.
Chandler: Okay, good luck with that. (Exits.)
Rachel: Well yeah, I do, but I decided to take a long lunch and spend some time with my friend Monica. Y'know I-I feel that we don't talk anymore. How are you? What is new with you?
Monica: Well, I-Ithere was this guy at the bank that I thought was cute umm, but I don't anymore.
Monica: Yes, I'm sure! Rachel is there something that you want to talk me about?
Doug: Well, I gotta tell ya Bing; that partner of yours is a real tiger. (To his wife.) Are you all right sweethart?
Monica: I got it! (She hits a forehand smash that bounces right in between Doug and Kara and scores a point.)
Chandler: Okay y'know what, because you said that, I'm not putting out tonight.
Janice: Oh! Okay! (To Ross) You, Mister Right Place at the Right Time, call me! (Does her famous, or is that infamous, laugh and exits.)
Ross: Okay, I didn't know you would say that.
Rachel: (entering) Okay, I have to tell you something that I have never admitted during our entire friendship! But, when we were in high school I made out with James Farrell even when I knew that you liked him! Wow, that feels so good to get off my chest! Okay, you go!
Rachel: I overheard you guys on the phone the other day, and you said, "I'll just tell Rachel that I'm doing laundry for a couple of hours." And he said, "Laundry? Is that my new nickname?" And you said, "No! You know what your nickname is, Mr. Big."
Monica: Well. Sounds like you're writing yourself a little play there Rach. Wow! Let me know how that one turns out.
Rachel: Well, I wouldn't know because I got so freaked out that I hung up the phone.
Rachel: All right. So you're telling me that there is nothing going on between you and Chandler.
Phoebe: You don't need Janice for that, you've got us. We
Doug: But seriously, I believe that we should all support President Clinton. And her husband Bill. (Chandler does the laugh.)
Doug: Well, maybe I'll bring it out and have Monica stick her finger in it. That oughta sweeten it up, huh? (Once again, with the laugh.)
Monica: (To Chandler) How does that laugh not give you a headache?
Monica: Y'know, I-I-I don't think that I can. So if you don't mind, maybe this will be it for me on the work things.
Monica: (interrupting) Honey, I just don't think that you understood the joke.
Monica: Yeah! I mean it was really funny, I-I just don't think you got it. You see Kara's coffee is-is-is weak tasting, okay? But-but what Doug was-was imply that it was weak physically. You get it now honey?
Rachel: What?! She just called and said that she was gonna be working late! She keeps lying to me! That's it! Y'know what? I'm just gonna go over there and confront them right now!
Chandler: (from his bedroom) All right, so you're telling me that I have to tell racist jokes now?!
Monica: I know! It's just that ever since high school Rachel was the one person I told everything too. Y'know? I miss that so much now. She's my best friend.
Monica: Wh-wh-what are you doing here? (She tries to pull her shirt down to cover the fact that she's wearing men's boxers.]
Monica: Great! Umm, well what-what I was doing in Chandler's room is that umm, I was cleaning it! In fact, he pays me to clean it!
Monica: Y'know when I said to you earlier that I was at work umm, I'm at my new work.
(Monica motions that it went right over Rachel's head.)
Janice: No-no-no, no. I'm going to talk. I believe that the sun has set on our day in the sun.
Ross: Let-let me make sure I'm hearing this right, you're ending this with me because I'm too whiney? (Janice makes an agreeing sound.) So you're saying, I've become so whiney that I annoy you, Janice.
Chandler: (realizes what Ross just said and the implications to him) I am mad! But you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna forgive you! Because that's what friends do! They forgive their friends when they do everything you just said, all on the list there. Well, but I want you to remember that I forgave you.
Chandler: I also want you to remember that I let you live here rent free!
Chandler: And, I want you to remember that I gave you twenty (counts his money) seven dollars. No strings attached. Now, if you can't remember that, I think we should write it downlet's write it down!
PHOEBE: Ahh, toilet seat covers! Is that what you were doing while I was getting gas?
Joey: Noo, (whispering) more like a notebook... Damn it! (next word appears: "blueprint") Oh, if I'm building an house, the plan isn't called the 'shmoo-print'... Can't say that either? Woha... hey... (the last word is "Football field" and there are 5 seconds left) In high school, I once had sex with a girl right in the middle of the...
Rachel: And so I had a lot of work to do so Ross, nice guy that he is, offered to help me out. And then we had a little wine, we got to talking, and the next thing you know out of nowhere Ross comes on to me.
Phoebe: Yeah but, Mischa is so interested in you, that Sergei and I havent been able to say two words to each other.
Ross: Remember the Russian satellite, Sputnik? (They all look at him.) Well, Im a potato or a spud. And these are my antennae. (Points to the colander with an old TV antenna glued on top that hes wearing.) So Sputnik, becomes (Theyre still confused) Spud-nik. Spudnik!
Chandler: I used to have that bumper sticker.
Monica: Oh, honey, I forgot. I promised Treeger that we'd leave our keys.
Monica: Sure. Oh, um, Chandler? Y'know, the-the old Monica would-would remind you to scrub that Teflon pan with a plastic brush...But I'm not gonna do that.
Joey: Come on man theres gotta be something that gets you choked up! Like uh, uh oh, what if you saw a three-legged puppy?
Charlie: Benjamin Hobart is administering that grant.
CHANDLER: That thing, it's a uhh. . . yeah it's, it's a little flashy.
Ross: All right, that’s it, I’m getting out of here.
Ross: I know! Anyway, they asked me to be a guest lecturer! I mean its temporary, but uh, if they like me it could lead to a full time job. How great would that look great on a mailbox, huh? "Professor Geller."
Ross: No, of course, Um Um, everybody? Um, I-I just wanted to say on behalf of my new bride, Rachel (She turns around and smiles), and myself. Umm, that if if in 35 years, were half as happy as you guys are, well count ourselves the luckiest people in the world.
Ross: I can't believe this, she's our daughter! That you would treat her like some kind of showdog is inexcusable!
Monica: Oh God, stop with the plan! So what, so what you saw him with a girl? Who cares?! That doesn't mean anything! Now look, you're going to go out on a date with Danny and you're going to be so charming he's gonna forget all about that stupid subway girl.
Joey: In that case should I make sure it's on real good? (he does so, repeatedly tapping on her breast and stroking it)
Phoebe: I know that, but look, we've got the Powerball number, we've won 3 dollars!
Rachel: (Tearfully) Ross, I'm doing everything that I can, I've got everybody looking for him, and I- (Door buzzer goes and she runs to get it) Oh! Who is it?
Ross: I just, I dont understand, I mean, how-how can she do this? Yknow, what, am I, am I like a complete idiot for thinking that shed actually show up?
Monica: No! Umm well, some people say that Oysters are an aphrodisiac.
Chandler: Yeahhh. Im tellin ya something, that ah, first smoke after nap time....
Joey: Hey Chandler! Yknow that girl you went to college with who-who became a movie director?
Phoebe: Oh, I love you guys too, but Mike got off work early. Wait. Wait, I�m not t�not that kind of girl that just ditches her friends to be with her boyfriend. You know what? I am. Bye guys! (waves to the bar) Judy! Bye.
Joey: Wait a minute! Why don't I do what that guy did? I'll take this $100 and turn it into $5,000! And then I'll turn that into enough money to get my movie going again!
Joey: Oh my God! You did too? It totally freaked me out, what was that?!
Paul: No! No! Its just that, my dad never did. I miss my dad.
Chandler: Oh, I wish Id know you were going to do that, I ordered Chinese.
Phoebe: Hey, you should really read that book you wrote. (To Larry) Wow! You saw the hat in the kitchen and knew that she'd have to go in there hatless to get it. You can have your own health inspector detective show!
Ross: (to Joey) Oh no, she took down Monica... And I'm the crier in the family. Oh God! I could be next. Maybe she won't talk with me if it looks like we're deep in converstation. Oh, so that thing you said about the thing. It really made me think about that other thing.
Ross: Th-th-that's all it is, a third nipple. Y'know? Just your run-of-the-mill third nipple. Y'know? You can take it off. Just slice that baby right off!
Monica: Yeah! Thats why Im sleeping with him on the side.
Joey (to Rachel): Dude, chill! (to Ross) Okay, we also kissed in Barbados, but we didn't plan it, okay? And the only reason that that happened was because I saw you kissing Charlie.
Joey: (sadly) There will come a time in each of your careers when youll have a chance to screw over another soap opera actor. I had such an opportunity in the recent, present. And Im ashamed to say that I took it, I advised a fellow actor to play a role, homosexually. Yeah, we both auditioned for the part, and uh, as it turned out, they ah, they liked the stupid gay thing and cast him. And now, hes got a two year contract opposite Susan Luchhi, the first lady of daytime television, and me, me Im stuck here teaching a bunch of people, most of whom are too ugly to even be on TV. Im sorry, Im sorry, Im sorry. (he gets a huge round of applause from his students.) Thank you.
Richard: Oh youre awesome! And, in that last speech? You soaked me.
Mike: This is the first time hes ever used this product, he's never used this product before, you're gonna see how easy this is to do. (To Kevin) Go ahead. ('Kevin' starts using the product, it is a spout that you jab into a paper milk carton so that you don't have to rip it open.) This works with any milk carton.
(Ross starts to play. He plays a key that has a back beat sound attached to it. Over the background music he plays the sound of a barking dog, a mooing cow, a laser beam, someone coughing, a jackhammer, a doorbell, a police siren, a ray gun, breaking dishes, and for a closer he plays the sound of a loud crash. Basically, the music sucks.)
Monica: Okay, now that everything's wrapped up here, I think I'm, I'm gonna go do my laundry.
Phoebe: Yeah, she came all the way back from Ross' building. Oh, the things she must have seen! And then she climbed up the fire escape and she tapped on the window with her teeny little paw and then we ran to let her in (Realizes, that Chandler starts to not believing her) I went to far, didn't I? When should I have stopped?
Phoebe: Yeah, oh, Princess Leia and the gold bikini, every guy our age loved that.
Monica: So do you guys gonna come over tomorrow? Ill make that pasta thing I was telling you about.
Phoebe: Well, shes out of town so, theres gotta be something in her house that tells me where my Father is.
Rachel: Oh, please!Honey, just the fact that you want me here to support you, I'm...OH MY GOD!Is that Christian Sanders?He's so gorgeous!
Ross: Thats right. The student has become the master.
Phoebe: All right, I will. No, I will. But umm, yknow just remember that its still really early, okay so, if it says that Im not pregnant, that doesnt mean that Im not gonna get pregnant, okay and, and just please, just so I dont go completely nuts, just try not put all your hopes on this.
Chandler: You said that you paid all that money because those boots go with skirts, dresses, and pants!
Joey: Yeah! (Monica goes in the bedroom.) Yknow, she could use a little (Whistles that she needs to do what theyre doing.) (Something happens on the game.) Oh nice shot!!! (They all cheer.)
Chandler: Yeah, just some 9-year-old Filipino kids who worked their fingers bloody for 12 cents an hour. (Phoebe stares at him wide-eyed. Chandler sees her reaction.) That didn't happen, I made that up!
Rachel: Oh, well, she’s asleep now. Stop forcing that thing on her.
Chandler: Okay, Pheebs, we decided the picnic idea was a little Y'know, it didn't have any It-it, well it blew. So, we thought, that this afternoon that we would all go away for the whole weekend to, Atlantic City!
Joey: Right, right, right, well, she wants to go to all this cultural places and I don't know how to talk about that stuff. You gotta help me out!
A Crew Member: (with that board thingy) Scene 5, take 1.
Monica: Chandler, for so long I I wondered if I would ever find my prince, my soul mate. Then three years ago, at another wedding I turned to a friend for comfort. And in stead, I found everything that Id ever been looking for my whole life. And now here we are with our future before us and I only want to spend it with you, my prince, my soul mate, my friend. Unless you dont want to. You go!
Monica: I still say that if we had called your dad we coulda gotten better seats.
(As he prepares to start, he makes several horrible noises that scares Rachel into retreat.)
Joey: Yeah, yeah, okay. Uh, look buddy, I came with that girl, and I had this plan to kiss her at the new years countdown Im trying to win her over, so I was wondering if..
Phoebe: Nothing, I just thought I'd stop by.. y'know, after the uh... that I.. y'know, so what are you doing here?
Rachel: And hey! Just so you know, its not that common! It doesnt happen to every guy! And it is a big deal!!
Joey: I like that! (To Phoebe) Oh, okay! Show him your bra! He's afraid of bras! Can't work 'em! (He swiftly rips open the front of Phoebe's dress revealing her bra.)
ROSS: See what? I don't know what she sees in... innn that goober. And it takes him, what? Like... like... I don't know, uhh... uhhh, hello.... a... week, to get out a sentence.
Ross: Hmm? (Turns around and sees that its Elizabeth) Oh, a student I dont know.
PHOEBE: Well, you kind of just did.� That guy is going to call you tonight.� Ross is going to pick up the phone and that's a pretty clear message.
Ross: Thats all Im askin
Phoebe: Dont be worried about that! Your tombstone can say whatever you want it to say! It could say, Ross Geller, Good at Marriage! Yknow? Mines gonna say Phoebe Buffay, Buried Alive.
Phoebe: Well, maybe she didn't hear! Ok I'm gonna go into that dressing room, you stay in here and I'll talk and see if you can hear me.
Roger: Oh, just seems as though that maybe you have intimacy issues. Y'know, that you use your humour as a way of keeping people at a distance.
Phoebe: Mon', not that you didn�t sound good, but...
Chandler: Well, Im upsetfor you. I mean, having sex with an endless line of beautiful women must be very unfulfilling for you. (He cant believe he just sad that.)
Cecilia: No thats La Guardia. (Joey nods in recognition.) This is Mexico.
Rachel: It was like months ago. We were walking by this antique store, and I saw this pin in the window, and I told him that it was just like one my grandmother had when I was a little girl. Oh! I can't believe he remembered!
Chandler: So Ross, how was your date the other night? Did you tell her about the magical ride that starts with the flush of every toilet?
Phoebe: Oh, look-look, Joey's on TV! Isn't that great? My pledge got Joey on TV! Oh that makes me feelOh no! (Realizes that her deed made her happy and therefore it's selfish and covers her mouth in horror.)
Rachel: I dont know! But maybe if we keep that drawer shut, itll die.
Phoebe: Are you lying? Is this like that time you tried to convince us that you were a doctor?
Phoebe: Stop it! Stop it no! Thats not fair! Yknow I cant resist that beautiful voice!
Chandler: You guess I'm right? When we stayed at that bed and breakfast, you wouldn't have sex with me because you thought a deer was staring through the window.
Monica: Because! Shes my cousin. I mean, we grew up together! Were family yknow? Well thats important to me.
Rachel: Why did you invite him?? I can't stand that guy!
Joey: What kind of profit is that?! And you call yourself an accountant.
Chandler: Okay, I accept that. When Janice asked me and I said no, she took that to mean that I was calling her a cow.
Joey: Well no, not yet. He's calling everyone on her side of the family hoping that someone will help him get in touch with her.
Frank: Oh well, um, your, your laundry just smelled so good, that I thought Id curl up in it. Is that all right?
Ross: No, wait ! You guys, no, no, you can't leave! Rachel already feels bad that the cake's messed up. How do you think she's gonna feel when she comes back here and all you guys are gone?
Ross: Oh my God, he just said your name, thats great! Good job Ben.
Ross: What?! Look, were trying to rebuild a relationship here, right. How am I supposed to do that here, without being totally honest with each other?
Kate: He happens to be brilliant. Which is more than I can say for that sweater youre dating.
Ross: I'm serious. I just don't trust that guy, okay?
Chandler: so then the farmer says, "Thats not a cow and youre not milking it." (Everyone laughs.)
JOEY: Well, we're, we're just goin' over here so that we can get away from the horrible flesh eating virus, for the love of God woman, listen to me. Is he lookin', is he lookin'?
Ross: Oh Pheebs, thats great. It doesnt count.
Monica's Boyfriend: Can anyone else name a well known seed thats been masquerading as a nut?
Phoebe Sr: But umm, youre right. I think that a person should know where they come from. Wh-which is why I ah, (pause) ahh, (pause) okay. Im your mother.
Rachel: Well, maybe sometimes I find out things or I hear something and I pass that information on y'know kinda like a public service, it doesn't mean I'm a gossip. I mean, would you call Ted Kopel a gossip?
Chandler: Something so sweet and...disturbing about that.
PHOEBE: Ok, Ross, could you just open your mind like this much, ok? Wasn't there a time when the brightest minds in the world believed that the world was flat? And, up until like what, 50 years ago, you all thought the atom was the smallest thing, until you split it open, and this like, whole mess of crap came out. Now, are you telling me that you are so unbelievably arrogant that you can't admit that there's a teeny tiny possibility that you could be wrong about this?
Tag: Yeah. Did you tell someone that I was gay?
Phoebe: No. No, I wont. But I should tell you this, this exact same thing happened to my roommate Denise. She moved in with a guy who was secretly married to her and he said he didnt love her, but he really did, and it just blew up! And thats how she ended up living with me! (Ross looks at her.) (Pause) Okay, thats a lie.
Monica: I know that switch does something, okay? So-so I went down to city hall and got these. All I had to do was pay $25 and wait in line for three hours.
Joey: Whoa, whoa. And the fact that you dumped him because he hit on Phoebe?
Joey: (shocked) I can do an English accent?! That babys going on my resume!