words in movies
Chandler: How can he do that? Didn't you sign a lease?
Chandler: Oh, yeah! Absolutely! Anything you need man! But you have to promise me the second you are feeling better so that we can make fun of your hair!
Larry: (entering) A 98. I deducted 2 points because you are not wearing your chef's hat, and that is a Section 5 violation.
Monica: Uh, look, Larry honey, umm, I wrote the book on Section 5 and I know that you don't have to wear your hat unless you're in the kitchen.
Phoebe: Hey, you should really read that book you wrote. (To Larry) Wow! You saw the hat in the kitchen and knew that she'd have to go in there hatless to get it. You can have your own health inspector detective show!
Larry: Oh, I don't know about that.
Phoebe: Okay, she would love that! Y'know, 'cause you know all the clean places to eat.
Rachel: Oh, honey, please, no, I can't get started with all that Ross stuff again. I mean, he's gonna screwed up for a looong time. And besides y'know, I don't, I don't go for guys right after they get divorced.
Rachel: I don't know! He hasn't called me since that one time when we went out. I see him in the hallway, we flirt, I'm all ha-ha-ha-ha, and nothing.
Monica: And you're not gonna do that.
Rachel: That's right! 'Cause that would give him the control! So now he's all ooh, coming up with this whole I've got a party thing y'know, trying to get me to hint around for an invitation. Blew up in his face, didn't it?
Rachel: No, there's a party. There's a party. But the power, that is still up for grabs. You follow me?
Phoebe: (awed) You have the power to do that?
Rachel: Yeah! Remember I got that uh, gala.
Rachel: Okay. (Closes the door.) Walked right into that one didn't he?
(Notices Ross looking at him and stops. Ross gives him his 'quiet down' maneuver. Okay, this may take a while to explain, so center this on you screen and place your hands about a foot apart with your fingers together and pointing straight up. Now take you fingers and point them at the other hand and making a 90-degree angle with each of your hands and the first knuckle counting up from the wrist. Now take your right hand, no your other right (that was for the dyslexics), and lower it a couple of inches, so that the fingers are pointing at your wrist. Now take your arms and keeping the elbows bent and your hands in front of you spread out your arms, kinda like making a bird's wing. Now hunch your shoulders over and move you hands up and down as if you are trying to tell some one to turn it down. That's Ross 'quiet down' maneuver. Well, there is an accompanying face, but I don't want to try and describe it as well.)
Joey: Um-hmm! Look, I-I-I don't know how much more of this I can take! Did you know he taped over my Baywatch tape with some show about bugs! My God! What if that had been porn?
Chandler: What about that circled one?
Phoebe: Ooh, I love that place! (Thinks about it.) So, no.
Larry: (notices something) I wonder how long that milk (on the counter) has been setting out.
Phoebe: Oh, no-no, this place is totally healthy! Thatthis milk is mine. I bought this today, 'cause I was thirsty for milk, y'know. (She takes a swig of it, but has to turn away from him as she makes a face to show that it has gone bad.) Okay, let's go!
Larry: Hey, buddy! (Flashes his badge.) Are you familiar with Section 11-B of the Health Code that requires all refuse material out the back exit?
Chandler: Yes that was a nice place!
Chandler: (grabbing the phone) Of course he has this big huge dog! That uh, barks into the night. (Listens.) Well, who doesn't love dogs? (Thinks.) Ah, he's a tap dancer! (Listens.) Yes, some would say that is a lost art. (Thinks.) He's a pimp! (Listens.) There you go! Yes, he's a pimp. He's a big, tap dancing pimp! (Pause.) Hello?
(The apartment manager hung up on him and he hangs up the phone and throws in on the chair. Joey motions, "What the hell was that?" Chandler makes a face to say, "Think about it." Joey tries to divide 136 by 13; he's confused. Suddenly, light dawns on yonder dunder head. He gets it.)
Monica: (turns his back to the stairs) Oh, it's a great party! Great food. Y'know, most parties it's all chips and salsa, chips and salsa. (As she's saying this Rachel tries to head downstairs but is blocked by people coming upstairs. She quickly retreats back up the stairs.) (Sees that she has to keep him distracted longer.) So umm, what's this? (Points to his plate.)
Rachel: Oh, come on! He's glad that I came, he doesn't want me to go anywhere, balls flying all over the place!
Ross: Hey. So I uh, I didn't get that apartment. Some problem with my application.
Ross: Yeah. But, the good news is that Phoebe said that I could stay at her place for a while. So
Joey: Well, we got plenty of space! There-there's still some over there (Points to where the window is but sees that there isn't any space there and points towards his door.) by-by that speaker. Please, just stay!
Ross: So I'm a pimp huh? It's okay! Look, I know that sometimes I can be a pain in the ass, but you just have to talk to me. Tell me if something is bothering you. Okay? And for my part I will do everything I can to keep my annoying habits just (Does the 'quiet down' maneuver).
MONICA: Exactly. Oh, I love that I can be totally neurotic around you now. Tell me the truth. Don't you like it better now that everything on your desk is perpendicular?
All: Oh, hey, don't do that! Cut it out!
Joey: Okay, but lets say there was. How might that go?
PHOEBE: But Joey, you're gonna be fine. You don't need that show, it was just a dumb soap opera.
Ross: Yes thats right.
(Phoebe gets up from the table, and while her back is turned, Rachel and Monica indicate via sign language that they each would have picked the other.)
(Joey is sleeping on the floor and is buried in sand that has been carved into a mermaid complete with breasts.)
Rachel/Ross: Ooh, your lips are so soft... Do that again... (and she/he moves in for another kiss. Joey, pushes her head away again...)
Phoebe: Why is Ross doing that?
Ursula: Wait! If umm, if you want to come, I guess thatd be okay.
Chandler: Why?! I mean if this guy was me and it was me who had learned that it was me who was the best you'd ever had, I'd be going like this. (He jumps up onto the table and starts doing his happy dance.)
Chandler: You just thought of that in there?
The Lurker: I won! That was my quarter!
Ross: That was you?
Kathy: Oh. Well uh, (to Chandler) you not being able to talk may make this easier. Listen umm (She looks at the gang who are watching, they take the hint and leave them alone.) Listen I dont wanna be someone who comes between two best friends. I just, I cant stand seeing what this is doing to you guys, and I dont wanna be the cause of that. So, I dont think we can see each other anymore. Im gonna go to my moms in Chicago, Im gonna stay there for awhile. I think this couldve be something really amazing, but yknow this is probably for the best. Yknow? Im gonna miss you. Good-bye, Chandler.
Monica: Oh, honey!I can't. I was just telling these guys that things are crazy at the restaurant!
Rachel: Yeah thats right! Come on Joey; sex me up!
Monica: Isnt that mine?
Joey: Felicity and I, were watching My Giant, and I was thinking, "Im never gonna be as good an actor as that giant." Do you think Im just wasting my life with this acting thing?
Rachel: Oh, well thank you for taking your tongue out of my sisters mouth long enough to tell me that.
Joey: Now, see, I don't believe any of that. I think once you're dead, you're dead! You're gone! You're worm food! (realises his tactlessness) ...So Chandler looks gay, huh?
Chandler: Yeah, Ive always hated that Howie.
Monica: Oh my God, this is great! This is so great! (to Chandler, who looks bewildered). Did you hear that?
Phoebe: Whats that smell?
Elizabeth: Ohh thats so sweet!
Monica: Does that smell bother you?
Chandler: Oh no-no-no, thats notNo-no-no!
Monica: Oh yeah, of course. I'm fine it's just that(She drops the box and in a reflex action tries to catch it with her arm, the knife slips out and slowly flips through the air and comes point first down into Chandler's shoe.)
Joey: OK, you've got to promise that you'll never, ever tell Ross that I told you.
Ross: Why do they keep doing that?
MR. GELLER: When did I say that?
Joey: Thats right, all the ladies want to stay at Joeys.
Rachel: Oh! I used to do that too!
Chandler: Almost as good as that play with the two naked girls on the see-saw.
Monica: Joey, now that you're okay with the house, do you wanna go see your room?
Joey: And scene! Huh? Wasnt that fun? We did a little improv there. Yeah! Okay! So you-you-you-you were saying?
Joey: But what you saw, that is the extent of it, okay? One kiss.
Chandler: Thats still in there?!
Phoebe: Yeah, but Monica, do you actually want to be in a relationship where you can actually use the phrase, "Thats not how your dad used to do it."
Ross: That! Lets talk about that.
Will: Uh, except that it was really the I Hate Rachel Club.
Rachel: Well Joey, uhm look, I know that she’s difficult, but I think it’s really good that she’s here.
Monica: Drunk enough to know that I want to do this. Not so drunk that you should feel guilty about taking advantage.
Monica: Uh, would you stop it with that already?!
Rachel: That would be great! Wait, how long is Denise gone for?
Ross: Well, I-I want to give her another chance, yknow? She lives so close. And, at the end of the date, the other time, she-she said something that wasif she was kidding was very funny. On the other hand, if she wasnt kidding, shes not fun, shes stupid, and kind of a racist.
Chandler: Oh, uh, yeah... I just knew that sometimes when you're writing, you... you don't always know the exact time.
Chandler: No-no, why dont you hang on to that one.
Monica: Well, at least you have one thing to be happy about. That jerk Gavin from your office didn't show up (Gavin shows up at the balcony windows).
Monica: No! You cant do that!
Phoebe: So, we realize thatOh no (She resets herself) Im telling it! Im telling it (She loses it.)
Monica: Oh no! My parents have never seen me drunk! (Pause) That they know of.
Chandler: Ah, look on the bright side, I mean you won't have to live with this ugly chair! That was here already huh? I love you. (they hug again)
Chandler: That is so weird, because every time I go to the dentist, I look down the hygienists blouse.
Ross: Thank you! Thats what I keep saying.
Chandler: That is lucky.
Chandler: Oh thats so sweet! I want to show you something too!
Rachel: Chandler! Patrick just uh, ended things with me. Did you or did you not tell him that I was looking for a serious relationship?
Rachel: Okay! Okay! Umm, Websters Dictionary defines marriage as (Ross and Joey start writing.) Okay!! Forget that! That sucks!! Okay, never mind! Forget it! Umm, umm, okay, uh I met, I-I met, I met Monica when we were just a couple of six year olds and I became friends with Chandler when he was 25, although he seemed like a six year old.
Chandler: Oh thats great!
Phoebe: Oh thats right. Youre still set on that?
RACHEL: Well that sounds kinda cool, kinda like The Hobbit.
Joey: Oh, that sounds like fun, but weve got a ring to find!!
Elizabeth: Ahh, I just have one problem left that I do not know how to solve. Uhh, Rachel maybe you want to come upstairs and help me figure it out?
Rachel: (looks at him) That was (pause) surreal. Okay, what do think? Are you interested at all?
Monica: Joey, take your time with that. That's my last batch.
Ross: (entering) Okay Pheebs, I know how we're going to figure this out. Okay, clear your mind and answer the first thing that comes into your head. Okay?
Ross: Yeah, no one talks like that!
ROSS: Ok, well then get some sense. I mean it took you what, 10 years to get that job, who knows how long it's gonna be till you get another.
Joey: Yeah!! I call that London style.
Phoebe: It's not that bad.
Chandler: How is that worse?!
Joey: What?!! Thats even worse!!
Monica: That noise you just made?
(She sets down her bag and we travel back to slow motion world. She once again whips her hair around in slow motion with the love doctor Barry White singing in the background. And Id also like to take this opportunity to mention that she can also be seen in Starship Troopers and that she was born in Downers Grove, Illinois which just happens to be a few miles from where I live. Anyway Cousin Ross is now staring.)
Monica: Oh honey, is that cause your Mom died around Christmas?
Ross: Well, you shouldve seen the guy that she used to go out with. I mean, hes like Joe Rugby.
Phoebe: I think so too. And that little flap? Great for holding my lipstick.
Ross: But all kidding aside, in much the same way that Homo ergaster [1] is now thought to be a separate species from Homo erectus...
Mr. Treeger:: No! Youre clogging up the chute that I spent a half-hour unclogging!
Leslie: Yeah, but, I dont do that anymore. I got kinda sick of it, and then I couldnt come up with anything good, so they fired me.
Monica: Cause I just keeping thinking about all these things that Im not gonna have and its freaking me out. I dont know what to do about it.
Chandler: Well, I did not know that.
Charlie: Hey, there's Phoebe! Is that Mike she's with?
MONICA: All right, look, Ross. I realize that you have issues with Carol and Susan, and I feel for you, I do. But if you don't help me cook, I'm gonna take a bunch of those little hot dogs, and I'm gonna create a new appetizer called "pigs in Ross". All right, ball the melon.
GRANDMOTHER: Alright, that is not your father, that's just a picture of a guy in a frame.
Ross: Sorry. (To remedy that, Ross scoops the cinnamon off of the top with his hand.)
Ross: Thank you! And I have to say that first scene when you meet Mac
Ross: I got held up at Dr. Gettleman's office. There was some guy that freaked everybody out.
Rachel: Oh good, great! I'll-I'll keep that in mind. (Turns and walks away.)
Joey: Thats great. Thanks Rach.
Chandler: Ah, well, maybe thats, ah, because youre getting a big raise.
Ross: Uh yeah! Let me, let me get that for you.
(Nina beams flirtatiously at Chandler, who catches her drift, but for once hes lost for something to say – so she nods her head to tell him that hes thinking correctly...)
Rachel: Oh thats right! Im sorry! I-I am early! Finish! Please!!
Monica: All right Rach, for what its worth, I think that youre doing great. I mean yknow lets face it, no one handles this well.
Chandler: No, you shNo you said you made that up!!
Chandler: Make sure you put all that stuff back in the closet, okay?
Joey: Uhh, look Katie, uh listen, we-we need to talk. Okay? Umm, look I like you. I-I really do, I like you a lot. Okay? But sometimes when you, when you playfully punch me like that it-it feels like someone's hitting me with a very tiny but very real bat.
Paul: I get that a lot.