words in movies
Chandler: How can he do that? Didn't you sign a lease?
Chandler: Oh, yeah! Absolutely! Anything you need man! But you have to promise me the second you are feeling better so that we can make fun of your hair!
Larry: (entering) A 98. I deducted 2 points because you are not wearing your chef's hat, and that is a Section 5 violation.
Monica: Uh, look, Larry honey, umm, I wrote the book on Section 5 and I know that you don't have to wear your hat unless you're in the kitchen.
Phoebe: Hey, you should really read that book you wrote. (To Larry) Wow! You saw the hat in the kitchen and knew that she'd have to go in there hatless to get it. You can have your own health inspector detective show!
Larry: Oh, I don't know about that.
Phoebe: Okay, she would love that! Y'know, 'cause you know all the clean places to eat.
Rachel: Oh, honey, please, no, I can't get started with all that Ross stuff again. I mean, he's gonna screwed up for a looong time. And besides y'know, I don't, I don't go for guys right after they get divorced.
Rachel: I don't know! He hasn't called me since that one time when we went out. I see him in the hallway, we flirt, I'm all ha-ha-ha-ha, and nothing.
Monica: And you're not gonna do that.
Rachel: That's right! 'Cause that would give him the control! So now he's all ooh, coming up with this whole I've got a party thing y'know, trying to get me to hint around for an invitation. Blew up in his face, didn't it?
Rachel: No, there's a party. There's a party. But the power, that is still up for grabs. You follow me?
Phoebe: (awed) You have the power to do that?
Rachel: Yeah! Remember I got that uh, gala.
Rachel: Okay. (Closes the door.) Walked right into that one didn't he?
(Notices Ross looking at him and stops. Ross gives him his 'quiet down' maneuver. Okay, this may take a while to explain, so center this on you screen and place your hands about a foot apart with your fingers together and pointing straight up. Now take you fingers and point them at the other hand and making a 90-degree angle with each of your hands and the first knuckle counting up from the wrist. Now take your right hand, no your other right (that was for the dyslexics), and lower it a couple of inches, so that the fingers are pointing at your wrist. Now take your arms and keeping the elbows bent and your hands in front of you spread out your arms, kinda like making a bird's wing. Now hunch your shoulders over and move you hands up and down as if you are trying to tell some one to turn it down. That's Ross 'quiet down' maneuver. Well, there is an accompanying face, but I don't want to try and describe it as well.)
Joey: Um-hmm! Look, I-I-I don't know how much more of this I can take! Did you know he taped over my Baywatch tape with some show about bugs! My God! What if that had been porn?
Chandler: What about that circled one?
Phoebe: Ooh, I love that place! (Thinks about it.) So, no.
Larry: (notices something) I wonder how long that milk (on the counter) has been setting out.
Phoebe: Oh, no-no, this place is totally healthy! Thatthis milk is mine. I bought this today, 'cause I was thirsty for milk, y'know. (She takes a swig of it, but has to turn away from him as she makes a face to show that it has gone bad.) Okay, let's go!
Larry: Hey, buddy! (Flashes his badge.) Are you familiar with Section 11-B of the Health Code that requires all refuse material out the back exit?
Chandler: Yes that was a nice place!
Chandler: (grabbing the phone) Of course he has this big huge dog! That uh, barks into the night. (Listens.) Well, who doesn't love dogs? (Thinks.) Ah, he's a tap dancer! (Listens.) Yes, some would say that is a lost art. (Thinks.) He's a pimp! (Listens.) There you go! Yes, he's a pimp. He's a big, tap dancing pimp! (Pause.) Hello?
(The apartment manager hung up on him and he hangs up the phone and throws in on the chair. Joey motions, "What the hell was that?" Chandler makes a face to say, "Think about it." Joey tries to divide 136 by 13; he's confused. Suddenly, light dawns on yonder dunder head. He gets it.)
Monica: (turns his back to the stairs) Oh, it's a great party! Great food. Y'know, most parties it's all chips and salsa, chips and salsa. (As she's saying this Rachel tries to head downstairs but is blocked by people coming upstairs. She quickly retreats back up the stairs.) (Sees that she has to keep him distracted longer.) So umm, what's this? (Points to his plate.)
Rachel: Oh, come on! He's glad that I came, he doesn't want me to go anywhere, balls flying all over the place!
Ross: Hey. So I uh, I didn't get that apartment. Some problem with my application.
Ross: Yeah. But, the good news is that Phoebe said that I could stay at her place for a while. So
Joey: Well, we got plenty of space! There-there's still some over there (Points to where the window is but sees that there isn't any space there and points towards his door.) by-by that speaker. Please, just stay!
Ross: So I'm a pimp huh? It's okay! Look, I know that sometimes I can be a pain in the ass, but you just have to talk to me. Tell me if something is bothering you. Okay? And for my part I will do everything I can to keep my annoying habits just (Does the 'quiet down' maneuver).
Phoebe: Was that story over?
[Scene: Phoebe Sr.s house, its right after she told Phoebe that shes her birth mother.]
Phoebe: Ohh, you guys, remember that cute client I told you about? I bit him.
Joey: YeahHey, dont worry, shes a terrific girl. And hey listen, could you do me a favor? When she comes out could you just mention that Im not looking for a serious relationship; thatd be great.
Monica: Okay, you can not tell Chandler. Okay? That I ran into Richard.
Monica: Yeah. What is that?
Rachel: God how long do you think thats gonna last?
Ross: Yknow what? Maybe, Mrs. Green, its not absolutely vital that you live with us.
Ross: Not well. I went on the subway again and someone did sit on my hand but that person was neither female nor wearing pants.
(Chandler enters and they both jump up and pretend that Ross is showing her something in the couch.)
Monica: Wow! That is a great picture!
Jill: (hits him) Shut up! I did not sound like that at all!
Chandler: Well, she seems very nice and everything, but that whole thing about her coming all the way down here, just to see if I was okay? I mean,... how needy is that?
Rachel: That was amazing. I can't even send back soup.
CHANDLER: Because I didn't know how to tell him that I couldn't go to the Knicks game.� So, I just told him that I had to stay in Tulsa.
Chandler: (entering) Hey, what was that all about?
Joey: Well that, that sounds good.
Joey: Yeah that didnt sound like me.
Joey: Yeah, I dont think thats what it is.
Phoebe: Ross, Rachel doesn't know that you wanna get back together. If she did, she might feel differently. She might not even go.
Joey: What the hell is that?
Rachel: Okay. Great! So now that you guys all know you can help me. Give me some advice on how Im gonna tell Ross!
Chandler: Wow that was my scariest voice! Youre very brave.
Ross: Whew! That was a brisk ride!
Ross: What? What? What?!! Well they should put that on the box!!!
Mr. Treeger: Anyway uh, Ill get moving on that new door.
Woman on TV: I came to the big city to become a star! Ill do anything to make that happen!
Phoebe: That is unfair. I'll call her and tell her it was totally my fault.
Ross: Fine, yknow what, thats it. From now on, Joey, I want you to be my best man.
Ross: Hey, yknow what? Not all spring breaks are like that.
(We see that Ross is returning to his apartment with Jill.)
Monica: I mean think about all the money that youre gonna make!
MONICA: So, I read this article in the paper the other day that says you're not supposed to throw rice at weddings, because when pigeons eat rice it kills them.
Monica: Yeah! Do that!
Ross: Come on, you-you cant tell me you actually believe that-that theres a woman inside that cat!
Mr. Geller: Oh, yeah you loved that glove! You took it every place you went. You never went any place without that glove.
Ross: No, because thats the right thing to do.
Joey: (still looking in date book) Hey! Thats the day after I stop menstruating! (They all look at him.) This isnt mine.
Phoebe: Wow, so glad I changed. Almost wore my ??? outfit that can�t contain my breasts.
Ross: Yeah, thats our baby.
Ross: Sweetie thats it.
Monica: Hey Rach, remember that great song, Me, Myself, and I? (And on the "I" part she mimics poking her eye.)
Joey: Ohh I wonder if that dude.
Monica: That you can have.
Phoebe: Monica! Thats not right! Start with where.
Joey: Uh, I dont know. Ya see, its just, see I was a regular on a soap opera yknow? And to go from that to this, I just Plus, Id have to wait on all my friends.
Monica: What?! People dont do that!
Rachel: Thats it? Well I saw that! Ohh-ohh-oh, thank you.
Rachel: What, because thats your answer to everything?
Ross: Well, thats what Im here for. (Emma starts crying again) Want me to get that?
Ross: Ill try that.
Phoebe: No, that would be, "Why are you being cute?"
Rachel: (on phone) Yeah, oh my God, tomorrow! That, no, its perfect. Oh God, thank you soo much. Great! Bye! (hangs up phone) I got the interview!
Monica: Thats a good idea! Wait, do you know how to waiter?
Rachel: (silently) Okay. (Pause) Seriously, breathe louder Ross! Thats great!
Joey: Ah yeahwait a second now! Look were gonna have to set a spending limit on the date. I dont have the money to take her to a fancy place like that.
Wayne: I-I-I saw you on stage talking to that beautiful woman, yknow Sarah?
Chandler: Thats the magic story you use when you wanna have sex!
Joey: How do you know about that story?!
Ross: And; people thinking its huge has led Monica to believe that we are stealing her thunder. (To Monica) Which we are not!
Joey: Did you take that tape?
Ross: Oh thats not pretty.
Monica: No, look, she's obviously unstable, okay? I mean she's thinking about running out on her wedding day. (Rachel slowly turns and glares at her.) (Realizing what she just said.) Okay, fine! But I mean, look at the position she's putting him in! What's he gonna do? Ross is gonna run over there on the wedding day and break up the marriage?! I mean, who would do that?! (Rachel again turns and glares at her in disgust.) Okay, fine, all right, but that's y'know, it's different! Although it did involve a lot of the same people.
ROSS: Either that or my mouth is getting smaller.
Chandler: Maybe she didn't move on, you know...maybe that kiss was just an impulsive one-time birthday thing
RACH: [near tears] No, you don't, Ross. Imagine the worst things you think about yourself. Now, how would you feel if the one person that you trusted the most in the world not only thinks them too, but actually uses them as reasons not to be with you.
Ross: Oh see, I-I needed a new thing for today and there's this leather store that always smells so good and I thought to myself, "Wow, (To Chandler) I never really owned a good smelling pair of pants before."
JOEY: Alright, just one. [she licks his hands rather emphatically] Wow, you're good at that.
Joey: All right, well, we felt really bad about that so we decided we should all take a little trip together!
Joey: I love that movie. (Joey is using it as a pillow)
Rachel: Well yeah, I wish that you would. (He opens the top drawer.) Well, no its not in there! (Closes it.) How about that drawer? (She points to the bottom one and he opens it. She doesnt see the folder she planted and bends over to check.)
Phoebe: I dont even know how that would work!
Chandler: No, no resentment, believe me, it's worth it. 'Kay? Y'know in a relationship you have these key moments that you know you'll remember for the rest of your life? Well, every- single- second is like that with Aurora.. and I've just wasted about thirty-five of them talking to you people, so, uh.. Monica, can you help me with the door? (He has armloads of stuff.)
Phoebe Sr: Oh, I-I-I understand all that, but its justthat was my puppy.
(They both start speaking Italian to each other, and since I'm not Italian and don't understand one word, we'll move on to the English portion of the show. Not, that I'm English. Not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just that I'm not. Y'know I think I should shut-up now and move on. Anyhoo, she says something about Joey being fat I think based on this line.)
Rachel: I don't know, I'm not trying to do anything, it's just, we have such a good time when we're together, you know... I mean, aren't you just a... little curious... (insinuating) what that would be like?...
(Gary reaches up to grab that little light that cops have for unmarked cop cars.)
Joey: Wow! You realize that we've been throwing this ball, without dropping it, for like an hour?
Chandler: Jenny! That is so Jenny!
Monica: (crying) So, I went down to the post office, and it turns out it was those videos that I ordered for Richard about the Civil War. He loved the Civil War.
Rachel: Yeah. Why? Is that weird for you?
Phoebe: Okay thats so generous!
Ross: Hey, if thats what you want to do Im not gonna say no.
Rachel: Wow! I did not see that coming.
(Chandler lets her into the apartment and reveals that Monica is getting a massage from another woman.)
Monica: Oh thats right, thats what Id sound like if I exploded.
(They all start thinking. Joey starts rubbing his chin, of course his chin is currently inside the turkey so he ends up rubbing the turkey. And I didn't do that joke one bit of justice. It's one of those you have to see it to get it jokes.)
Joey: Maybe Monicas playing a joke on ya. Yknow? Getting her own husband a hooker, thats pretty funny.
Conan: Youve done over 150 episodes, but your favorite moments that 80 years from now youll be thinking about?
Joey: Uhh Pheebs, I heard that. Can you put him on?
Mr. Geller: Sweetheart, we love you just as much as Ross! Now, Im sorry about everything that happened and Id probably never be able to make it up to you, but heres a start. (He hands her a small box.)
PHOEBE: Um, is, is there any chance that you're rounding up? You know, like from, like 20?
Joey: Thats not whipped! Whipped is wh-tcssh!
Chandler: How is that me?
Rachel: (yelling) So youre gonna be in the car, I will be upstairs, and thats where everybodys gonna be!
Phoebe: (To Chandler) That is so you!
Chandler: When have I ever done that?!
Ross: Look, I didnt want to rush into anything. And it seemed like she didnt want to either. But I dont, I dont understand how any of this happened! What? Did she find the ring in my jacket, assume that I was going to propose, throw it on, and-and just start telling people?
Phoebe: Two weeks? Thats it?
Monica: I'm sorry, I think that you just misunderstood her.