words in movies
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are showing everyone the van they bought for the catering business. Its an old Dodge van, that has a cartoon woman riding on a dragon painted on the side of it.]
Joey: I think I know that girl.
Monica: (to Phoebe) Remember that guy from cooking school I told you about that put cilantro with everything?
Phoebe: Oh, in that case(hops up and down in joy)Yay! (Monica looks confused) That was me hopping on board.
Ross: I dont know, I could maybe go out for a couple of beers, but theres this thing about bumblebees on The Discovery Channel that I was planning to watch.
Joey: Really. And what do you mean you never have fun anymore? You have fun with me, remember that time we saw those strippers and you paid me 50 bucks to eat that book?
Joanna: (interrupting) Okay, but that would actually be a big step down for me.
Joanna: Really? Well, in that case
Rachel: (interrupting) And thats Im so glad theres no problem.
Joanna: Thats fine, actually Im on the hiring committee, so therell be at least one friendly face.
Rachel: Ohh! Thats great!
Joanna: You know, Junior Miss is where I started. Oh, I had to sleep with the ugliest guy to get that job.
Joanna: No-ho-ho! (pause) Yeah. (pause) I mean, no-no-no-no-no, dont you worry, Im sure with your qualifications you wont need to sleep with some guy to get that job. Although, I might need some convincing.
Rachel: Well, they uh, they-they do more than that.
Mrs. Lynch: I notice that youve been trusted with a lot of rather important responsibilities.
Rachel: I-I-I of course, I have more responsibilities than that.
Mr. Posner: Yes, thats very good. Now a uh, big part of this job is cultivating personal relationships, especially with designers.
Rachel: Yes, I realize that
Joanna: (interrupting) And Rachel shouldnt have any problem with that. The only problem might be getting a little too friendly, if you know what I mean.
Phoebe: Ooh, I gotta go. I found a guy that who could fix up the van for catering.
Allesandro: Well, you said that we except the Discover Card, which we do not!
Monica: All right, that Ill retract. But I stand by my review, I know food and that wasnt it. Youre marinara sauce tasted like tomato juice! You should serve it with vodka and a piece of celery.
Allesandro: Hey! Im proud of that sauce, its delicious.
Monica: Oh my God! You own an Italian restaurant and you think that tastes good?! Where are you even from?
Rachel: (entering Joannas office) Umm, Joanna? I wanna talk about that interview.
Rachel: No! It didnt! Thats what I want to talk to you about. (starts to break up) Now, just to brief you (starts to cry) I may cry, but they are not tears of sadness or of anger, but just of me having this discussion with you.
Joanna: What?! What would make you think that?
Rachel: Well of those things that you said in the interview, I mean if you believe any of them, I must not be a very good assistant. Yknow what? I am just gonna pack up my desk, (She goes over to get all of her belongings from the desk, which amount to a muffin and a pen) and I will be gone by the end of the day! (Realizes she has nothing.) Well, I guess theres no use to me sticking around til the end of the day! (Starts to leave.)
Joanna: Thats why I said all those things about your flirting and your drinking
Joanna: Oh, I mustve said that after you left.
Joanna: That you enjoyed the occasional drink ing binge.
Rachel: Oh my God!! Ohh, that is it! Im leaving! You are just a horrible person!
Rachel: Say more things like that.
Joey: Well, we could do that!
Chandler: Remember that really cold morning, you woke up and those dogs were licking your face?
Monica: Ohh! Umm, Phoebe, I kinda need to talk to you about that. (Rachel excuses herself) Umm, well I-I-I think it might be time for me to take a step back from catering.
Joey: We dont need that wizard guy. We hit a couple of clubs, talked to some strangers, and uh, after this, well head down to the docks and see about that boat thing.
Ross: Im just glad I brought that extra pair of socks, yknow? I used them as mittens, I didnt want to touch a thing in that last place.
Monica: All right, Ive got a whole bunch of uh-uh, stuff in this area, but umm, Im getting the feeling that you dont want to deliver.
Monica: Okay. Im guessing that if you dont want to deliver, you probably dont want to pick stuff up either.
Phoebe: Yeah. Thats what you really want. Yeah, I dont want to be the reason youre unhappy, that would just make me unhappy, and I really dont want to be the reason Im unhappy.
Mrs. Lynch: I didnt realize that she was so close.
Rachel: Yes, so close. Mrs. Lynch, I know that this is an emotional and difficult time, for all of us. But by any chance did Joanna send any paperwork your way before it happened.
Mrs. Lynch: No. Nothing. Imagine, if she had just stepped off that curb a few seconds later.
Allesandro: Im so excited about having Monica come on board with us. Although I do feel bad about having fired chef Emillio, its like losing a member of the family. Of course, that literally is the case for several of you. Tony, Carlos, Marie, please, tell your father how much were gonna miss him. Now, I know that Monica has a lot of great ideas for this place, well, you all read the review. So without much further ado, I present to you our new head chef.
Monica: Umm, I just wanna say, uh (reads from a 3 X 5 card) that with a pinch of exictement, a dash of hard work, a dollup of cooperation, we can have the recipe... (Looks up and sees eveyone glaring at her) Are you gonna kill me?
(Rachel joins Monica who is in the kitchen area, opening the wine bottle. Rachel checks that the doctors aren't listening, then lowers her voice anyway.)
Conan: Matthew, you have a reputation with the rest of the cast that sometimes you like to, you like to fool around a bit. I mean like if somethings naturally going wrong you like to get in there and juice it a little bit. True or false?
Chandler: Ooh. Uh, I don't know how to tell you this, but she's in Monica's bedroom, getting it on with Max, that scientist geek. Ooh, look at that, I did know how to tell you.
Ross: (he makes some really weird noise hear that sounds kind of like )Ayyyayyyy!
Young Ethan: All right, look. I've gotta tell you something. I'm not 17. I only said so that you'd think I was cute and vunerable. I'm actually 30, I have a wife, I have a job, I'm your Congressman. Monica, this is ridiculous, we're great together. We can talk, we make each other laugh, and the sex. Oh, man, okay i have no frame of graft, but I thought that was great.
Rachel: Well that is because your eye immediately goes to the big naked man.
JOEY: See after the scene, Mr. Beatty comes up to me and says 'good actor, bad kisser'. Can you believe that, me not a good kisser, that's like, like Mother Theresa, not a good mother.
Ross: Wow! The only thing I got from my Grandmother was her eyes. I mean not-not her actual eyeballs, but, but people say that my eyesDo-do you want to make out?
Chandler: Thats what I do now.
Joey: Wow! How do you know how to do that?!
Monica: Joey! (He returns) Now that youre here
Rachel: Oh, I mean shes gonna be at the wedding waiting for him and people will be whispering, "Oh that poor girl." Yknow? Then shell have to come back here and live all alone.
Joey: (To the rest of the gang) Hey, see that? He just needed his pal to come home. All right, uh, Ive got to go memorise my lines. (Starts to go his bedroom) Me and Charlton Heston bright and early tomorrow morning! Yeah-yeah!
Rachel: Ok, not that you need it but good...GOD!Is that Chase Lassiter?He's straight, right?
Ross: Let me see that! (Grabs the invitation and reads it.) Oh man!
Ross: Thats my gym.
Cashier: Really?! That is so cool!
Chandler: (To Joey) Would you put that back on?! Monicas gonna be here any minute!
Ross: Oh, come on you guys; thats funny! Yknow? Because hes needhes got like a hearing aide yknow, cause-cause yknow, cause hes all old, and
Chandler: No, that was Dana Caplin.
Chandler: What is it that I do?
Mike: All right, stop! You know, all Phoebe has done tonight is trying to get you to like her. And maybe that hasn't been clear all the time, but she did her best. And yeah... She's a little different than you are...
Monica: (turning around and doing that, "I'm making out with someone," thing with her hands) Ooh, umm, oh Kathy! Kathy, I love you! Oh! (She turns around and sees Gunther staring at her and stops suddenly.)
The Cooking Teacher: Thats very good, whats your name?
Chandler: Man, if you tried something like that on my birthday, you'd be starin' at the business end of a hissy fit.
Joey: No there wont! I promise I will finish that turkey!
Monica: Thats right.
Melissa: I dont know. I dont remember a lot of things that never happened.
Julio: The Empty Vase is not about you. My baby, you make me so sad that you would think this.
Rachel: Well, ultimately, I was trying y'know, I-I wanted tell him y'know, that I'm still in love with him.
Rachel: What? Oh, well then yknow what? I think Monica would be very interested to know that you called her cheesecake dry and mealy.
Ross: Okay lets put aside that you (Makes quote marks with his fingers.) "accidentally" picked up my grandmothers ring and you (Does it again) "accidentally" proposed to Rachel.
Joey: Thats the title! Yeah! Yknow they really lucked out that the initials spell cheese.
Chandler: That I did. That I did.
Ross: that you actually
Joey: Look listen, that TV movie I went in for? Did you hear anything? I think I got a shot at it.
Phoebe: I started that!
Rachel: That is seven days!
Phoebe: Oh I-I dont know about that. No, I think that if the two of you had sex the-the-the repercussions would be catastrophic.
Rachel: Oh, I read that in high school.
Ross: But I-I was going to see if yknow, maybe you uh, start dating again but thatI mean that-that was all, Rach.
Phoebe: Its interesting that you lost. Now, I forget, do you like to lose?
Joey: Thats not gonna happen. No. (Looks up) Because we have a new deal!
Joey: Hey, what about the scene with the kangaroo? Did-did you like that part?
(Chandler is putting on the Chap Stick the same way that women put on lipstick, including the bit with the piece of tissue.)
Rachel: Ill take that bet.
Phoebe: No! No, you can't arrest me! No!! I won't go back! I won't go back to that hell hole!!
Ross: The Armadillo was actually not so thrilled about that part! Okay Ben, its time to light the Hanukkah candles! (Santa, Superman, Monica, Ben, and the Holiday Armadillo go over to the menorah to light the candles.)
Monica: They gave us a fake number? Why? Why would they do that?
Phoebe: Thats all right, Ill work here. This is goo, next to this plant. (She picks a place in the lobby next to a plant.)
Joey: Oh thats great! Oh thank you so much!
Chandler: Yes that would have made more sense.
Monica: You know, I knew a girl in high school who did that. She was very popular. (Chandler laughs.)
CHANDLER: Ok, Janice. Janice. You gotta give me Janice. That wasn't about being picky.
Housekeeper: This is the housekeeper speaking. And by the way, young lady, that is not how one addresses oneself on the telephone. First one identifies oneself and then asks for the person with whom one wishes to speak.
Monica: Yeah, but I love you more. Besides yknow, nothing goes with Bing. So Im screwed. I mean (Rachel hands Emma to Monica.) Oh, hi Emma. Yeah, thats you. Youre our little Em. Oh whats that honey? What? Oh, you want a little cousin? (To Chandler) You want a cousin right now?!
Chandler: Oh well, that, that makes it not terrible.
Monica: That was a half an hour?
Rachel: Thats so sweet.
Rachel: Now wait a minute thats not fair. He was married to me a hell of a lot longer than he was married to Emily, he just didnt tell me. (Everyone looks at her, Ross not happily.) Maybe I have to pee again. (Gets up to try to use the bathroom.)
Monica: Thats it! Right there! Is all I wanted!
Ross: I can't believe we're gonna be the only people that aren't in this wedding.
Chandler: Here! (Hands him one. Joey adds it up and discovers that he was right.)
Ross: (simultaneously as Rachel) Were not gonna do that.
Chandler: So you didnt mean any of that?!
Rachel: Hey-hey-hey thats funny! Your funny Chandler! Your a funny guy! You wanna know what else is really funny?!
Ross: (To Rachel) Hey. Whos that?
Rachel: Well, as long as we are clear about that. (Exits smugly.)
Phoebe: No, you cant let this stop you from getting massages! No look, I have, I have lots of clients that make the same noises you do!
Joey: Uh, Entertainment Tonight. [Cut to Chandler] Yeah, okay so, good talking to ya and don't come out here. All right. (Hangs up the phone and poses for that picture.)
Phoebe: Oh yeah! I-I would like that.
Ross: Thats it. Thats it.
Joey: (staring at the ice sculpture) How bad do you want to stick your tongue on that? (They all glare at him)
Woman: Oooh, that sounded like a bad one.
Rachel: Thats the end of this conversation!
Erica: (To Chandler) We had a good time. By the way, I wanted to ask you something. It would really mean a lot to me, if the baby was a boy, that you name him after my father, Jiminy Billy Bob (Monica smiles at Chandler and his he looks shocked and scared, getting no support from his wife)
Phoebe: Maybe because you never listen to anything that I say. I talk about her all the time! DENISE!!!!!
Amy turns to Ross and Rachel: Why does she keep making that noise?
Monica: Thats true! (Happily) I knew I married you for a reason!
Rachel: Oh, well, I guess I had that one coming. Im just gonna throw it out, its probably just a bunch of shampoo and... (she opens the box and stops)
Phoebe: Yeah! How would you like it if I sent you to Lee Majors house and told you that he liked you, and you went down there and you found out that he didnt like you? How would you feel?
Monica: Well. Sounds like you're writing yourself a little play there Rach. Wow! Let me know how that one turns out.
Joey: No! Forget her, man! You dont need her, you dont need that!
[Cut to later in that episode. Monica and Chandler are confronting Joey in his apartment about Phoebes knowledge.]
Phoebe: Ooh, I love that place! (Thinks about it.) So, no.
Rachel: Go get back on that case honey!
Assistant: Ain't that bad yet, but it keeps getting darker for the next four hours.
Phoebe: Okay. Umm, before we get started, I just wanna say for the record that I love Ross, I think hes such a great guy. Here. (Hands her the picture, Rachel grabs it out of her hand.) Okay, now, close your eyes. And imagine that youre with Ross okay and imagine that youre kissing him. And youre-youre running your hands all over his body. And then you run your hands through his hair, but eew-oh gross its some kind of grease, itsuck! Hah?
Monica: Does that sound like Janice?
Cliff: Oh my God! Thats the doctor who was in my room before!
Ross: What is that?
Chandler: Well, I'm sorry Joe. I didn't think the doctor was gonna buy that it just *fell* out of the socket.
Joey: Listen, while you're on a roll, if you feel like you gotta make like a Western omelet or something... (Joey and Chandler taste the coffee, grimace, and pour it into a plant pot.) Although actually I'm really not that hungry...
Chandler: That was amazing.
Monica: No, Ive had second thoughts about that. Do you realize how hard that would be to clean?
Rachel: Oh honey, but you love that name.
Ross: Yeah. Shes putting her down now, thats her. (Points to the nurse putting Emma now.)
Joey: Okay, how long was I watching that woman?
Benjamin: Dr. Biely, your proposal includes some field work. Where might that take place?
Monica: And Nancy said that it's really under price, because the guy lost his job and has to move in with his parents!