words in movies
NOTE: For this episode, I'm using italics to signify portions contained in the prom video.
CHANDLER: Well, I don't know what Big Leon told ya but it's an even thousand if you want me for the whole night. What is this for?
CHANDLER: Wow, I don't know what to say. [opens the box and pulls out an incredibly gaudy gold bracelet] Wow, I, I don't know what to say.
CHANDLER: [reads] To my best bud. [puts it back in the case] Thanks best bud.
CHANDLER: Oh, now? [puts it in his desk drawer] No, no, I think something this nice should be saved for a special occasion. [sets a chair in front of the drawer]
JOEY: Oh, no no, that's the beauty part, it goes with everything. [gets the bracelet from the drawer] You put this on, you're good to go. [puts the bracelet on Chandler] Ohhh man, you are so wearin' that bracelet.
CHANDLER: Well, it'll probably slow it down at first but, once I get used to the extra weight, I'll be back on track.
MONICA: Oh, that's there on the bottom, see the manager, Chandler Bing.
MONICA: Alright, well I'm tearing the lettuce.
MONICA: Well, I thought that I would cut up the tomatos.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting at the couch. Ross is sitting at the table and answers the phone.]
ROSS: Y-ello. No, Rachel's not here right now, can I take a message? Alright, and how do we spell Casey, is it like at the bat or and the Sunshine Band? OK, bye-bye. Hey, who's this uh, this Casey?
PHOEBE: Oh, some guy she met at the movies.
ROSS: [puts the message in the cupboard] I don't know, I don't get, I don't get it, I mean, wh, wh, two months ago Rachel and I were like, this close. Right now, what, I'm takin messages from guys she, she meets at the movies? I mean this, this Casey should be takin' down my messages, ya know, or, or, Rachel and I should be together and, and we should get some kind of me, message service.
MONICA: Yeah, I think that fifth shower actually got the interview off me.
MONICA: Oh yeah, well there's the possibility that I won't make rent.
CHANDLER: Ya know, the man's got a point. [gestures with his arm and the bracelet falls off]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica answers the door and lets her parents in. They are carrying boxes.]
CHANDLER: [walks over to the woman] I know what you're thinking, Dave Thomas, founder of Wendy's.
CHANDLER: Chandler. [waves his arm around, exposing the bracelet]
CHANDLER: What? [realizes it was the bracelet] Oh this is excellent. You know he coulda gotten me a VCR, he coulda gotten me a set of golf clubs, but no, he has to get me the woman repeller, the eyesore from the Liberace house of crap.
CHANDLER: Oh, yeah, easy for you to say, you don't have to walk around sporting some reject from the Mr. T collection. [Joey walks in behind Chandler]
CHANDLER: I pity the fool who puts on my jewelry, I do, I do. I pity the fool that. . . [turns around and sees Joey] Hi. Hey man, we were just doin' some uhh, impressions over here. Do your Marcel Marceau. [Joey turns around and walks out without saying anything] That's actually good.
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is talking to a man at the counter. Ross and Phoebe are sitting at the couches.]
ROSS: [Rachel, laughing, puts a hand on the guy's shoulder] Look at that, look at that, see how she's pushing him away and he won't budge. Alright, I'm gonna do something. [walks up in the middle of their conversation] Excuse me, are you Rachel?
ROSS: Oh, oh my God, is this the wrong day? I don't believe it, uh, well, hey, I guess if it works out we'll, we'll have something to tell the grandkids.
RACHEL: Saving, saving, saving me from the pleasant conversation with the interesting man, saving me?
RACHEL: OK, you know what, are, are you being like, the blind date guy again?
ROSS: No no, you're uh, you're my lobster. See um, lobsters, uhh, in the tank when, when they're old, uhh, they get with, uhh, they walk around holding the claws. In the tank, ya know, with, with the holding and. . . Uhh, Phoebs you wanna help me out with the, the whole lobster thing?
PHOEBE: Do the claws again.
ROSS: Rach. OK, forget, forget the lobsters OK. We're, let's talk, what about us?
CHANDLER: Hey man, look it's my best bud. How ya doin? [Joey doesn't respond] Wow, you are really gettin' good at that Marcel Marceau thing. Hey, whaddya say uh, we play some ball, you and me, huh, whaddya say? [Throws a basketball to Joey. Joey doesn't move to catch it and the ball takes out a lamp] OK, that's my bad.
JOEY: If you hated the bracelet so much, Chandler, you should have just said so.
CHANDLER: Well, doesn't the fact that I wore the bracelet even though I hated it say something about our friendship and how much it means to me?
JOEY: Well, what about the fact that you insulted the bracelet and you made fun of me?
CHANDLER: OK, well that's the part where I'm a wank. But I was hoping we wouldn't focus on that. [Joey goes to his room and shuts the door] Hey, c'mon man, I said I was sorry like a hundred times, I promise I will never take it off my. . . [notices the bracelet is missing from his wrist] wrist. But if, if you want to stay in there and be mad, you know, you just uh, you stay in there. [he starts searching the room, lifting up the couch cushions]
JOEY: You know what the. . . [sees Chandler on his knees, holding the couch cushions]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Mr. and Mrs. Geller are watching tennis on TV, Monica is sitting at the table]
MRS. GELLER: Oh, Jack look, there's that house paint commercial that cracks you up. [the Gellers return to watching TV and Ross goes over to Monica]
ROSS: Emotional hell. So, did they lend you the money yet?
MONICA and ROSS: In the bank.
PHOEBE: Would you stop already? Get out of the bitter barn and play in the hay.
CHANDLER: Oh, you're right I, I should play in the hay. Forget about the fact that I just dropped 400 dollars to replace a bracelet that I hated to begin with. Bring on the hay. [sits down at the bar]
RACHEL: [comes up from behind the bar and startles Chandler] Hey. I've got something that's gonna make you happy. Guess what Gunther found? [holds up Chandler's bracelet]
CHANDLER: No, I can't. No no, listen, I, I know how much this means to you and I also know that this is about more than just jewelry, [puts bracelet on Joey] it's about you and me and the fact that we're [reading bracelet] best buds.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Ross are standing in the kitchen. Ross is filling out a check]
MRS. GELLER: Over here Jack. OK. I see, Rachel's coming up the path. Oh doesn't she look pretty. Jack, get this. [Rachel enters with a huge nose]
MONICA: You know what this is, this is us getting ready for the prom.
MONICA: Over here dad. [he pans over and we see a torso taking up the whole screen]
MONICA: Shut up, the camera adds ten pounds.
RACHEL: Oh, that's OK, it's just the shoulder, it's not my dress.
MONICA: Dad, it is not. What's with the red light?
MR. GELLER: It's the off light. Right Ross? [pans over to see Ross with an afro and moustache]
RACHEL: [the shoulders of her dress keep falling off her shoulders] Is my hook unhooked? These things keep falling down, I can't. . .
RACHEL: Oh, the guys are here.
[Ross is sitting on the stairs with a laptop keyboard playing 'Axel-F']
MONICA: Ya know, Roy saw Star Wars 317 times. His name was in the paper.
MRS. GELLER: [to Ross on the stairs] I have a wonderful idea. You should take Rachel to the prom.
ROSS: Uh, just a sec dad. [to himself] OK, be cool, just be cool. [walks down the stairs and grabs the flowers out of the vase on the endtable] OK dad.
MR. GELLER: [going downstairs] Rachel, ready or not, here comes your knight in shining. . . oh no. [Chip has shown up and the four are leaving]
MR. GELLER: Press the button.
MR. GELLER: The button, the button.
[Rachel, seeing what he did for her, gets up, walks across the room, and kisses Ross]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica is watching the rest of the tape]
MR. GELLER: I may not know any of your flash dances but I'm no slouch on the dance floor.
[the tape cuts to Monica's parents under the covers]
Chandler: Oh, the mixed tape.
Monica: You are just the sweetest. (They kiss.)
Phoebe: (to the woman behind her) This place is so depressing. If I had to work here I'd kill myself. (she turns around and the clerk behind the counter heard her.) But you obviously haven't.
Rachel: (coming out of her bedroom with a necklace) Here it is! I love it. I wear it all the time.
Guys: Hockey! (They go to leave but are blocked by three of Rachel's friends, Leslie, Kiki, and Joanne. The guys pause to stare at them.) Hockey! Hockey. (The guys.)
The Instructor: Thanks.
Phoebe: I dont want to go into the whole thing, but umm, we have words and I kill him.
CHANDLER: (Hangs his jacket over the suitcase, locks the door, then turns to Monica.)� Oh well, look at you.
Monica: (seeing the decision) Nooooo. Youre really not going?
The Instructor: What?!
[Time lapse. Monica is wearing the dress and starring at herself in the mirror.]
Monica: And I assume, Chandler, you are still boycotting all the pilgrim holidays.
The Saleslady: Were closing.
Rachel: Yeah but, my assistant Tag does sit-ups in the office during lunch. Ohh! I could just spread him on a cracker.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there, waiting to tell Frank and Alice the news.]
Ross: (glaring at Joey) This would be the place where you explain the hat.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are entering. Phoebe and Joey are sitting on the couch.]
Rachel: Careful. Light. Okay, do you know how, just sweep it across the lid. Okay? Just sweep it.
Chandler: Why?! I mean if this guy was me and it was me who had learned that it was me who was the best you'd ever had, I'd be going like this. (He jumps up onto the table and starts doing his happy dance.)
Rachel: (entering from the bathroom) Hey Mon? Im gonna check my messages.
Monica: Youre on the phone!
Ross: W-What was the one right before bananas?
The Doctor: This isn't your toe, this is a small, very cold piece of carrot.
Joey: Shes right in there. (motions to the living room)
Monica: Oh, honey!I can't. I was just telling these guys that things are crazy at the restaurant!
Rachel: My God! (They both run into the bedrooms.)
(Joey throws a punch and just lightly taps her on the shoulder, Phoebe counters with a jab to the nose.)
JOEY: Oh we're not out. No, no. We're just uh, two heterosexual guys, hanging with the son of our other heterosexual friend, doin' the usual straight guy stuff.
Chandler: Yknow, I cant believe Kathy did this too me. I really, thought that she was the one. I tell you what, from now on Im never getting out of this chair, ever! Okay? From now on, this chair is the one! You wanna what else is the one? My sweat pants!
Chandler: Great story again! The yarns that you weave! Woo-hoo-hoo!
Mr. Treeger: What in the name of hell?
Ross: Oh, oh there go the clothes.
Hillary: You know, I rarely connect with someone this much on the first date.
Dina: And youre my big brother! I mean, youre my favorite guy in the whole world. Im not even scared to tell mom and dad. I was scared of telling you.
Chandler: I dont think the contestants are supposed to speak to each other.
(Phoebe gets up from the table, and while her back is turned, Rachel and Monica indicate via sign language that they each would have picked the other.)
Chandler: It is going to be perfect. I am taking her to her favorite restaurant. Im going to get her a bottle of the champagne that she really loves; therefore knows how expensive it is. Then when the glasses are full, instead of proposing a toast Im just gonna propose.
CHAN: Didn't you used to call it the Little Major?
Monica: I gave you one job! (Starts to examin the lasagne through the bottom of the glass pan.)
Erica: Reverend, can I ask? Does the bible say anything about adoption?
Joey: Hey-hey dude, why are you changing the subject? Why? Will you make the call or what?
Rachel: Okay! (She jumps on the bed.)
Chandler: Wow, you'd think we should get that over 20 years or go for the big payout.
Mrs. Bing: (To phone) Okay, thank you. (To Ross) It's the Italian Hand-Licker, isn't it.
Joey: Its between us and the sea, Ross!
Ross: You're right. Yours is worse. You are the king of bad Thanksgivings.
[Cut to Joeys, hes on the phone.]
Jen: Sure, I'll just get my coat. (There's a knock on the door.) Could you get that?
(They both stare at the newborn.)
[The Gellers stare at Ross. Ross looks at his parents with an afraid, shocked look.]
David: Okay, what the hell, what the hell. (Sweeps the remaining papers off the desk and grabs Phoebe) You want me to actually throw you or you-you wanna just hop?
Mrs. Green: Plus, what are you planning on doing with the baby while youre trotting out to the garbage ten times a day?
(Ross turns around and sees Rachel sitting by the window. She is just glaring at him.)
Joey: But what you saw, that is the extent of it, okay? One kiss.
(Another woman with a nurse and doctor enter, the woman is screaming.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are in the kitchen.]
The Instructor: Well, she would take her keys and try to jam them
Phoebe: Oh! (Takes the phone.) Hello? (Listens) Yeah this is Phoebe. (Listens) Really?!
(Ross and Susan each gesture for the other to lie down.)
Chandler: Okay, okay, but dont worry, because we also have cereals, muffins, waffles, and, jams, jellies, and marmalades. Which Im fairly certain are the same thing.
(Chandler and Joey leave the table.)
Monica: Oh yeah, of course. I'm fine it's just that(She drops the box and in a reflex action tries to catch it with her arm, the knife slips out and slowly flips through the air and comes point first down into Chandler's shoe.)
Monica: When I fall asleep on the couch after reading, she covers me over with a blanket.
(He does a kara-tay move to silence her, then answers the phone.)
Phoebe: Sorry, mix up. Hey, how was the movie?
(Monica gets behind him and in combination with his sliding the chair forward and her pushing with her leg manages to get up to the table.)
The Smoking Woman: Yeah I can, it worked real well.
The Interviewer: Okay, how about when youre not working. What do you do in your spare time?
Monica: All right, Chandler get the coats. Erica let's go. Phoebe and Joey, keep packing! Oh my God we're gonna have a baby. All right. We're gonna have a baby! OH MY GOD, WE'RE GONNA HAVE A BABY! Oh God, oh God, I got to sit down, I got to sit down. Ooh! (she's hyperventilating)
[Scene: The Emergency Room. The officious admissions nurse is again on duty. Rachel and Monica enter, looking worried. As they approach the desk, Rachel adopts a winning smile, while Monica struggles to smile at all.]
Monica: Hi. (On the phone) Hi, uh, yes, this is Monica Geller. Um, I believe I'm taking some classes with you and I was wondering what they were.
(Phoebe closes the door behind him.)
[Scene: Central Perk - Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Ross and Rachel are sitting on the sofas. Joey enters]
Elizabeth: Shut the book!
Receptionist: Unfortunatly the only thing we have available is our deluxe suite, the rate is six hundred dollars.
Ross: Whoa-whoa-whoa! Emily, (Gives her the time-out signal.) honey, okay?
Phoebe: Ooh, hey, could we put on the news? I think it might be raining.
Ross: Thatll be a neat trick, when youre, (looks at the script) when youre dead!
Monica: Joey, now that you're okay with the house, do you wanna go see your room?
[Cut to Phoebe and Rachel sitting on the couch.]
Phoebe: (sarcastic) Ah, yeah, he's so adorable, God, he's just so much fun, Joey is the best, I'm glad you're having so much fun here. (She turns around, about to leave)
Joey: (dragged in by Monica, he has just gotten out of the shower) What's going on?
Ross: Oh, whatever. (Laughs and gives Joey the thumbs up heading back to his apartment. Joey follows him)
MONICA: They want me to do it, which is really cool, seeing as I've never catered before, and I really need the money, and this isn't a problem for you, is it?
Ross: Because! Because, it-it-its Itd be like you having this guitar (Points to hers) and-and never playing it. Okay, this guitar wants to be played! And-and this bike wants to be ridden and-and if you dont ride it you-youre-youre killing its spirit! (Pause) The bike is dying.
Phoebe: Are there anymore from the good batch? Cause we could just work off of those.
Chandler: Okay, okay, here she comes! (Sits on the couch next to him.) How do I look? Do I look like a guy who doesnt want to get married?
[Scene: The delivery room, Rachel and Frank are there.]
Monica: Oh its umm, good! It's umm, its good, just here watering the plants.
Joey: Well, where was I? (Takes a sip of the coffee.)
(She opens the door and they kiss.)
Rachel: Hey! Thats just poking me in the eye!
Chandler: Oh well, we dont because we got the other pl-place.
(The chick and the duck walk into the living room.)
Rachel: Oh, what are you going to do?! Are you gonna go run tell Monica?! Are you gonna tell Joey?! No! Because then you will have to tell them what we did! We are desert stealers! We are living outside the law!
Chandler: No!! Okay!! Whats with the third degree?! Why dont you just shine a light in my eyes?! (Joey looks totally confused.)
Chandler: Might wanna open with the snowman.
Rachel: (pause) Hes talking to the baby.
Joey: Look, Ill come to the party but Im not dressing up.
Ross: What the hell are you doing?