words in movies
[Scene: Rachels Hospital Room, Ross is sitting next to Rachel.]
Rachel: Okay you have to realize, I was exhausted, I was emotional, I would have said yes to anybody. Like that time you and I got married! (Pause) Im not helping.
Ross: So you said yes to him, and you just had our baby?
Rachel: That is right and traditionally the daddy is supposed to give the mummy a present but I am prepared to let that go.
Ross: So when I came in here to see if you wanted to maybe start things up again, you were engaged to my best friend.
Joey: (Enters) Hey you guys Im gonna take off. I just wanted to let you guys know, say goodbye.
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Monica, Phoebe, Joey and Chandler are waiting for Ross and Rachel to come home and Monica is looking at the sign Phoebe bought that says, "Its a Boy!"]
Chandler: No, no, Ross and Rachel will be back soon and then I gotta go to the office (Pulls another balloon out of his mouth) Am I producing them?
Rachel: Well, you more then me, but he cant stay to mad at me. I mean, I just had his baby.
Chandler: Hey, what do I know? I wanted to get a bigger gorilla.
[Scene: A Boardroom, Chandler keeps drifting off to sleep at his meeting.]
Ms. McKenna: Boston is down, Atlanta is down, Houston is down, I could go on and on but instead of boring you Ill go straight to my forty two point plan.
(Chandler leans over to fall asleep on the mans shoulder next to him, only the man catches his attempt.)
Ross: Please take your time, its an important decision. Not like, say, I know! deciding to marry someone, this is about a muffin.
Phoebe: Oh no, Rach, no no, you know youre never supposed to wake a sleeping baby.
Rachel: Oh Im sorry mummys so sorry go back to sleep go back to sleep. Shh. Shhh! Go back to sleep
Phoebe: It really does how long do you think we have to stay?
Chandler: (not knowing what hes saying yes to) Yes.
(Chandler smiles and nods then realizes what hes agreed to.)
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Emma continues crying while Rachel, Monica and Phoebe try different methods to stop her crying.]
Phoebe: Well, alright, we already tried feeding her, changing her, burping her, oh try this one! Go back in time and listen to Phoebe!
Monica: Alright heres something, it says to try holding the baby close to your body and then swing her rapidly from side to side.
Rachel: Oh (happy) oh no just stopped to throw up a little bit. (Emma starts crying again.) Oh come on, what am I gonna do, its been hours and it wont stop crying.
Ross: Hey Gunther, can I get a couple of blueberry muffins to go? (He puts a bag with diapers in it on the counter.)
Joey: (entering) Hey. (Ross turns to see who it is, and seeing its Joey he just ignores him and turns back around.) Ross, I know youre pissed at me, but we have to talk about this.
Ross: Okay lets put aside that you (Makes quote marks with his fingers.) "accidentally" picked up my grandmothers ring and you (Does it again) "accidentally" proposed to Rachel.
Ross: And I can even understand that you couldnt tell Rachel, but why couldnt you tell me, huh? You had all day to and you didnt.
(He brings his hands in closer to his face then does it again.)
Joey: No, come on Ross! (He grabs his bag so he cant leave) Look, Ross, we have to get past this.
Joey: No, look, I dont know what else to do. I said Im sorry!
Joey: Why not? Youll feel better! Ill feel better, and you know you want to. I can see it in your eyes.
(Ross throws a punch, but Joey ducks and Ross punches the pole. Ross then screams from the pain and turns to Gunther, and Gunther has a huge smile on his face.)
Joey: I couldnt help it! When a fist comes at your face, you duck! Look! (He goes to punch Ross, expecting him to duck, but he doesnt and Joey punches Ross. Gunther is amused.)
Joey: You were supposed to duck!!! Why didnt you duck?
Ross: Why dont we talk about this on the way to the hospital?
Chandler: Monica can I talk to you outside for a minute?
(Phoebe and Rachel go to the back room and Emma continues to cry in the background while Chandler and Monica talk.)
Chandler: Umm, you know how we always said that it would be fun to move to Paris for a year? You know, you could study French cooking and I could write and we could take a picnic along the Seine and go wine tasting in Bordeaux?
Chandler: People whove never ever been to Paris.
Chandler: Were moving to Tulsa! (Makes a excited expression on his face)
Chandler: Okay, Ms. McKenna, she kind of works above my boss, she asked me to move to Tulsa and be the president of our office there, and I was sleeping and apparently, said yes.
Monica: Are you trying to tell me that were moving to Oklahoma, or that youre gay? All right, not that this matters, but did they at least offer you a huge raise?
Chandler: No, no, but they are going to lease us a Ford Focus. (Monicas not impressed.) Ill get out of it.
Monica: Oh she misunderstood, she thought she was moving to Tulsa.
Chandler: Umm maam, do you have a minute? (She points for him to come in) I kind of have some bad news. I dont think I can move to Tulsa.
Chandler: Its a funny story, actually. (coughs) I kind of fell asleep in the meeting this morning so when I said Id move to Tulsa, I didnt really know what I was saying.
Ross: You know what, you can go, I just have to fill out some forms. (Tries to hold the pen but cant)
Joey: You, you want me to help you with that?
Joey: But you two were supposed to be together.
Joey: Come on, Ross, that didnt mean anything! She just had the baby, she was all freaked out about doing it alone, she would have said yes to anybody.
Ross: Yes. I mean, its what we always planned. And if you have a plan, you should stick to it. Thats why they call them plans. Hello? (Pause) Im fine.
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Emma continues to cry.]
Rachel: You guys, Im doing the best I can, anyone else is welcome to try.
Rachel: Here you go. (Hands Emma to Phoebe)
Rachel: Yeah I dont think dressing provocatively is going to help me here! Oh my god just please take her.
Rachel: I have to go to the bathroom. (Goes to the bathroom)
Phoebe: I have to go scream into a pillow. (Goes to scream into a pillow)
Monica: (To Emma) Bouncy baby, Bouncy baby, Ooh baby baby, Ooh baby baby, Ooh baby baby. (Emma stops crying and falls asleep)
Monica: I cant believe it! Shes asleep! I got her to go to sleep! I have actual magical powers!
Rachel: Oh my God! You got her to stop crying!
Monica: (stands up to hand Emma back) Oh no no no no!
Phoebe: Thankfully you dont need me at all (gets up and to leave) so Okay Super aunt see you later! Rachel lets give it six to eight months (she leaves).
Rachel: You know the book says that whenever shes sleeping I should be sleeping so (She gives Monica thumbs and goes to lay down)
Monica: Shhh! We just got her to go to sleep
Chandler: Were moving to Tulsa
Rachel: Heeeeey, where have you been? (He shows her his thumb) What happened to you?
Rachel: Oh no Ross! This is not good, we have to talk about this Joey thing. Please sit. (He sits) You have got to get over this Joey thing, okay? I never really wanted to marry Joey, okay?
Ross: Well, thats what Im here for. (Emma starts crying again) Want me to get that?
Monica: (comes running out the kitchen to the bedroom) Got it! Got it! Got it! Got it! Got it! Got it!
Joey: Hey OK great, what would you do if I did this? (Swings to punch Chandler, he moves and he ends up punching Ross, knocking him off the stool. Ross then gets up and just stares at Joey.)
Ross: (To Whitney) Yknow, he hums when he pees!
Ross: You know what? Enough! Enough talking! I have to get moving! Hey check out those two blondes over there!Hey come with me!
Chandler: (to the two guys) Excuse me. (Chandler and Ross move away from them). That didn't make us sound gay at all!
Rachel: Yeah, sure. (To Monica) All right, whose court is the ball in now?
[Scene: at Barry and Mindy's reception, Monica and Richard are sitting at a table, and Monica is trying to throw a piece of candy into his mouth.]
Phoebe: Okay. (Goes over to Rachel.) Hey Rach?
(Rachel is slowing trying to leave and let them talk.)
Steve: Oh, okay, I get it. (Starts to leave.)
Amy: Not really. But you are much cuter then that geeky guy she used to date.
Phoebe: You were supposed to tell her!
Phoebe and Rachel: (to each other) I dont know.
Monica: Okay, does it involve something to do with Petes computer company?
Chandler: (jumping up to answer the phone) Oh the phone! The phones making sounds! (On phone) Hello!
Steve: Go back to 3-B, 3-B!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is reacting to the story.]
Frank: Yeah, Ive been thinking ever since you said we were having triplets, the best thing for me to do is to drop out of college and get a job.
Rachel: And you know which one we should see? The 1996 Tony award winner. Do you happen to know the name of that one?
Joey: Well, we got plenty of space! There-there's still some over there (Points to where the window is but sees that there isn't any space there and points towards his door.) by-by that speaker. Please, just stay!
Joey: Yeah, a naked bagel game? (Picks up his dropped bagel.) (To Chandler) Dude, I dont know. Thats a pretty small hole.
Monica: Ugh, I can not believe this! I mean, who is she to judge us? We could not have been nicer to her!
Rachel: (To Monica) Yes.
Joey: Does it have to be a whole day?
Phoebe: Well, Susan, I see what appears to be a dark vent. Wait. Yes, it is in fact a dark vent.
(A worker comes to open the door and the horde starts to press forward.)
Ross: The Armadillo was actually not so thrilled about that part! Okay Ben, its time to light the Hanukkah candles! (Santa, Superman, Monica, Ben, and the Holiday Armadillo go over to the menorah to light the candles.)
Rachel: Well, what are you going to wear?
Ross: You deserve to be with someone who appreciates you, and who gets how funny and sweet and amazing, and adorable, and sexy you are, you know? Someone who wakes up every morning thinking "Oh my god, I'm with Rachel". You know, someone who makes you feel good, the way I am with Julie. (Rachel has moved closer, but hearing that she starts to back up.) Was there a second of all?
Phoebe: I am one of Bens mothers. Im a lesbian. It was, it was difficult coming out to my parents.
Chandler: No, but waitwhat if I bought it from you, yknow? And your nice gesture would be giving it to me at a reasonable price, say (Gets choked up) $1,500?
Doctor: Well, you don't have that much time to relax. The other one will be along in a minute.
Phoebe: To Ross.
Joey: So what? I drove down, sold T-shirts, had a blast. And yknow who knows how to party? Drunk college chicks.
Monica: Well, you don't have to decide right now, but if you could just look at our file...
Phoebe: No, I can handle it. No, Im a professional. (She starts to leave)
Monica: Well, what am I going to say?
Benjamin: Alright, it's true. I behaved horribly. But it's only because I still love you. And I would do anything to have you back in my life.
Ross: You want me to call her right now?
Ross: (To Rachel) Yeah, I still don't know. (To the salesman who is hovering nearby) I'm sorry I just wanna make sure that I bought the right couch. I need a couch that says, "Kids welcome here." But that also says, (In a sexy voice) "Come here to me!"
(He puts his leg up on the couch to get the quarter, once again exposing himself to Chandler and Ross. In horror, Chandler, slides over and leans against Joey on the couch.)
Monica: I guess I set up the video camera to try and entice Joey.
Ross: Chandlers gonna ask Monica to marry him!
[Cut to Chandler trying to hint to Monica that he wanted to move in with her in The One After Vegas.]
(Chandler tries to take it, but Monica wont let go. He tugs harder, and she still doesnt budge.)
Monica: Yknow what we should do? We should all get dressed up and go to have champagne at The Plaza.
JADE: Well there really wasn't much time to get used to it, you know what I mean?
Rachel: (jumps at the chance to make that happen) Oh! There's nothing above your bed!!
(The apartment manager hung up on him and he hangs up the phone and throws in on the chair. Joey motions, "What the hell was that?" Chandler makes a face to say, "Think about it." Joey tries to divide 136 by 13; he's confused. Suddenly, light dawns on yonder dunder head. He gets it.)
Rachel: (not sure what to do) Uh, it was very nice meeting you. (They continue to ignore her.)
Rachel: Yeah, I told you to give Emily whatever she wants.
Gary Collins: (on TV.) It looks like we have surpassed last year's pledge total! Thank you viewers! The pledge that did it was taken by one of our volunteers (He walks over to where Joey is sitting.) Oh boy! And may I say one of our sharpest dressed volunteers, (Joey stands up.) Mr. Joseph Tribbiani!
(Shes about to get in when )
Chandler: Whoho ho... Listen to the judgement from the porn star!
Monica: Hey guys! You found the presents? Chandler, you let them find the presents? Great! Do you know how long it took me to find you that water purifier?
Rachel: Look he doesnt have any brothers or sisters, somebodys gonna have to teach him this stuff! And I havent taught him anything that a normal 6-year-old doesnt know anyway!
RICHARD: You're gonna do what to my clocks.
Phoebe: And this time, theyve ganged up to form one giant, super hat.
Joey: That sounds like another word to me! Are you gonna take this seriously? (Theres no response from Chandler.) Okay.
Ross: It was the chair again! Okay? Im not doing it! It whatlook, I dontyknow whateh-eh (He walks away and goes over to Mona.) Hi.
(They all run to the window.)
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Well, its better than us deciding.
Chandler: Do you happen to know what Im going to say?
Rachel: I dont want to say.
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, the gang is watching Joeys debut on Days.]
Chandler: (transfixed) Hi! Nice to meet you!
JOEY: No no, seriously, Chandler and I were just talkin about this. He is so much cooler than our dads. [Chandler starts kicking him below the table] I mean, you know, our dad's are ok, ya know, but Richard is just- ow, ow. What are you kickin me for? Huh? I'm tryin to talk here.
Ross: Ooh hey, Emma, daddy has some presents for you okay? Okay? I want you to wait right here. Come here sweetie.
Rachel: Why does it matter so much to you?!
[Cut to the guys.]
Joanna: Oh, I know and hes soo sweet! Listen, he said he was going to call, so put him straight through.
[Cut back to the girls.]
Joey: All right now All right, youre all set up. Youre good to go. Just hit record. All right?
(She starts to go and get the coffee and falls behind the counter.)
[Cut to the guys.]
Rachel: Thats-thats great! See? I already feel like I know you a little better! Thank you. Okay, come on. Now we can go eat. Lets go. (Gets up to leave, but Paul doesnt move.)
Chandler: (shocked) There are seven?! (Points to one) Thats one?
Bonnie: (to Rachel) Thanks a million.
Ross: Hey Pheebs, what 'cha reading? (Phoebe ignores him) Pheebs? (Turns away) Hello? (He sits down next to her and she moves over a bit.) Phoebe? (He moves closer and she keeps moving away.) Phoe-Phoebe! (They end up hanging over the arm rest.) Come on! (He grabs the magazine away from her.)
Ross: (Watching Marcel play with Phoebe. To Chandler) Look at him. I'm not saying he has to spend the whole evening with me, but at least check in.
(Camera cuts to show Chandler giving a Jello shot to the ceramic dog and holding an empty tray of Jello shots.)
Monica: You wanted it to be a surprise.
Rachel: Hey, what have you guys been up to?
[Cut back to Central Perk.]
(They go away, trying very hard not to laugh at Chandler)
Chandler: Well lets see, there was the guy with the ferrets, thats plural. The spitter. Oh-ho, and yes, the guy that enjoyed my name so much he felt the need to make a little noise every time he said it. Nice to meet you, Chandler Bing Bing! Great apartment Chandler Bing, Bing!
Monica: You bet! No TV or anything! (she gets up from the sofa and goes to the kitchen area)
Rachel: Noooo... the interview! She loved me! She absolutely loved me. We talked for like two and a half hours, we have the same taste in clothes, andoh, I went to camp with her cousin... And, oh, the job is perfect. I can do this. I can do this well!
Monica: Come on, get into bed! I want to prove to you that Im not sick! I wanna make you feel, as good as I feel. (Sneezes.)
Chandler: Oh come on guys, its not like I moved to Europe! I just moved across the hall! And we would have you over all the time if it werent for (struggles to get this out) Monicas allergies. (The duck quacks.) Youre right, I could never lie to you. She hates you. (The phone rings.) Should I get that? (Laughs, then answers the phone.) Hello? (Listens) Uh no, Joeys not here right now. Can I take a message? (Listens) Yeah, okay so the audition has been moved from 5:00 to 2:30? (Listens) Okay great. (Listens.) Bye. (Hangs up the phone and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle on the door but Monica walks in and forces him to jump out of the way.)
Ross: (squatting and reading the instructions) I'm supposed to attach a brackety thing to the side things, using a bunch of these little worm guys. I have no brackety thing, I see no whim guys whatsoever and- I cannot feel my legs.
Rachel: (To Phoebe) Why do you care about the guy who won the Paris trip?
[Cut to the bathroom.]
Chandler: Yeah, I guess I could use that. I could say that your love sends me to the moon.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's. Rachel and Ross are there. Ross is trying to get the dress off Marcel.]
Rachel: Well... well, what did you do to make her laugh? (excited)
Phoebe: (To Monica) Oh, thats beautiful.
JOEY: Hi, here's the deal. We lost a carseat on a bus today. It's white plastic, with a handle, and it fits onto a stroller. Oh, and there was a baby in it. He wants to talk to you again.
Monica: They all came from the list you handed out to us two weeks ago.
MONICA: [walks up to Rachel in front of the TV] Tonight?
Joey: (To Chandler) (laughing) Funny one! Thats good!
Joey: (laughs) Yeah! Right! (points at Monica) People eat birds... Bird meat... Now do they just fly into your mouth or you go to... you go to a restaurant and you say: "Excuse me, I'll have a bucket of fried bird." (laughs again) Or... or maybe just a wing or... (realises...)