words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler walks in and starts raiding the fridge. Then Rachel comes out of the shower with a towel wrapped round her waist, drying herself with another towel. Chandler and Rachel startle each other and she drops the towel for a second and snatches the rug off the couch.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there with her boyfriend Roger, talking to Rachel and Monica.]
Chandler: It was an accident. Not like I was across the street with a telescope and a box of donuts.
(Joey enters with his dad)
Mr. Tribbiani: Just for a coupla days. I got a job midtown. I figure I'm better off staying with the kid than hauling my ass back and forth on the ferry. (Sees Roger) I don't know this one.
Joey: (Snatches the phone) Hey Ma. Listen, I made the appointment with Dr. Bazida, and... Excuse me? (To his dad) Did you know this isn't Ma?
Mr. Tribbiani: Joe, your dad's in love big time. And the worst part of it is, it's with two different women.
Mr. Tribbiani: Of course, course one of 'em's Ma. What's the matter with you.
Joey: What's the matter with Rog?
Joey: That's right, mister, and I don't care how old you are, as long as you're under my roof you're gonna live by my rules. And that means no sleeping with your girlfriend.
Joey: Well, either you break it off with Ronni
Joey: Then you gotta come clean with Ma! This is not right!
Joey: Y'know what I mean, about how I'm always going out with all these women. And I always figured, when the right one comes along, I'd be able to be a stand-up guy and go the distance, y'know? Now I'm looking at my dad, thinking...
Joey: (Runs out in a towel) What's the matter with you?!
Chandler: Sorry, my my thing was in there with me.
Mrs. Tribbiani: Why did you have to fill your father's head with all that garbage about making things right? Things were fine the way they were! There's chicken in there, put it away. For God's sake, Joey, really. (She gives the sofabed a tiny push and it folds away)
Joey: With this ring? (Her engagement ring.) No contest.
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe is there with Roger.]
Phoebe: It's, I mean, it's nothing, I'm fine. It's my friends. They-they have a liking problem with you. In that, um, they don't.
Roger: Actually it's, it's quite, y'know, typical behaviour when you have this kind of dysfunctional group dynamic. Y'know, this kind of co-dependant, emotionally stunted, sitting in your stupid coffee house with your stupid big cups which, I'm sorry, might as well have nipples on them, and you're like all 'Oh, define me! Define me! Love me, I need love!'.
Joey: Yeah. He's gonna keep cheating on my ma like she wanted, she's gonna keep pretending she doesn't know even though she does, and my little sister Tina can't see her husband any more because he got a restraining order...which has nothing to do with anything except that I found out today.
Phoebe: Oh, okay, except I broke up with Roger.
Ross: I was having a little chat with ah, Bonnie, and ah, guess what, she-she happened to bring up y'know, who was behind the um, whole head shaving idea, and now, who was it? Oh, thats right, thats right, it was you!
(She takes off the coat she was wearing over her wedding dress, which is violet and has a darker shade petticoat underneath which shows at one side where the dress is lifted up to about the height of her hip and connected to the petticoat. She's wearing a veil over her curly hair and a low cut top with straps only just hanging over her shoulders.)
Julie: Oh, listen you guys. I have this friend at Bloomingdale's who's quitting tomorrow and he wants to abuse his discount. So, anyone want to come with me and take advantage of it?
Monica: A Magic Eight ball?! You can't be serious, you can't make this decision with a toy!
Chandler: Bob? Ooh, working here with us? Everyday? Yeah, I dont know if he has what it takes.
Chandler: What is the matter with you ?!?
Phoebe: Well, look, why dont you just, why dont you do your Phase Two strip club thing with us.
[Scene: A street, Ross is walking with Elizabeth on their date.]
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Ross is telling Monica and Joey about his date with Elizabeth.]
Monica: What?! Youre going out with her again!
Ross: Going out with who?
Elizabeth: Do you not want to be seen with me?
Ross: Oh, sorry. Well, look, maybe I can help you with it.
Ross: I have to say you are a much bigger person than I am. I mean after all weve been through, I justyknow I wish I had a brother to reciprocate. Hey, if you ever want to go out with Monica, you have my blessing.
ESTL: Oh, I see. Well, I'm just gonna put in a call here and we'll find out what's goin' on and straighten it out. [picks up the phone] Yeah, hi, Lori please. [pause] Hi darling. So how 'bout Joey Tribbiani for the part of the cab driver, isn't he terrific? [pause] Uh-huuuuh. [pause] Uh-huuuuh. OK, doll. Talk to you later. [hangs up] [to Joey] Yeah, you're gonna have to sleep with her.
Rachel: No-no! Dont dance for me! Please? Dont! (She gets up to yell at her friends.) What is the matter with you guys?
[Cut to Rosss second wedding reception, Joey has just told him the band is ready with Rachel looking on.]
MONICA: Ah, and I mean, he's going out with her? He can not persue this.
Chandler: (not amused) And I just realized I can sleep with my eyes open.
Monica: Hey! How did it go with Elizabeth?
Written by: Shana Goldberg-Meehan Transcribed by: Eric Aasen With Help from: Aaron Howard-Miller
Ross: Yeah I-I dont-I dont think Im quite there yet, but I could say I looove spending time with you.
Mike: I'm sorry too. And just to be clear, I didn't hit his mother with a car.
Monica: Maybe. Joey: Wait. Your 'not a real date' tonight is with Paul the Wine Guy?
[Cut to Earls office, who is played by Jason Alexander, George from Seinfeld. They cut back and forth between Phoebes and Earls offices with each of their lines.]
JOEY: All right look.� (He walks to the hallway.)� If you can't come home and deal with this, then I'm gonna.
Chandler: Hey, you know what, here's a thought. Why don't you stay home from work today and just hang out with me.
Ross: I-I-I dont even know why I bother to talk to you guys about it. Yknow what? Im just gonna do it on my own with no naked chicks.
Richard: Yeah! Youre saying, you need to be with someone more mature. Maybe someone with, a license to practice medicine. Or a mustache.
Joey: Hey. Y'know with that goatee you kinda look like Satan.
Benjamin: I never should have broken up with you. I think about you all the time. I mean, do you ever still think about me?
Monica: Don't stare. Now she just finished throwing his clothes off the balcony, now there's just a lot of gesturing and arm-waving, (shows Rachel gesturing with hands in front of her chest), Ok, that is either, "How could you?" or, "Enormous breasts!" Here he comes!
Rachel: Dark, big hair, with the airplane earrings.
FBOB: If... if you want to drink, it's OK with me, I've got to get used to it.
Monica: Well, Ive tried everything. I give up. I guess Im not gonna be the mom who makes the worlds best chocolate cookies. I do make the best duck confit with broccoli rabe. Kids love that right.
Ross: Well, y'know how I'm trying to work things out with Emily. Well, there's this one thing Okay, (Rachel has her back turned to the camera, and Ross isn't looking at her.) here goes. I made a promise that-(they cut to the other camera and Ross notices something coming out of Rachel's nose)-Oh hey!
Ross: Rach, come on, I’m not gonna wear any of this! (he picks up a shirt) Nothing silver. (Rachel sighs). Ok? Nothing with hair! (Rachel sighs again) And nothing with padlocks on it! (Rachel heaves a long disappointing sigh).
(She sets down her bag and we travel back to slow motion world. She once again whips her hair around in slow motion with the love doctor Barry White singing in the background. And Id also like to take this opportunity to mention that she can also be seen in Starship Troopers and that she was born in Downers Grove, Illinois which just happens to be a few miles from where I live. Anyway Cousin Ross is now staring.)
Ross: (he bounds into the lounge room) But you didn't! I'm still alive!! Kori, I know this is a big surprise for you. It's a long story but the things you just said really made my day! I mean, the fact that you are here means more to me than if this room were filled with people!
(Sebastian returns with the coffee.)
Rachel: Oh well, the woman I interviewed with was pretty tough, but y'know thank God Mark coached me, because once I started talking about the fall line, she got all happy and wouldnt shut up.
Ross: Rach! Wait! The men's room is that way. (Points in the other direction. Rachel hits him with her purse and heads for the ladies room.)
[Ross gets up, pleased with himself and starts to walk past Joey.]
ROSS: C'mon, you know everyone I've been with. All, both of them.
Rachel: oh oh! What is up with Miss Hawaiian Tropic?
Joey: Im sure its a famous watering can, okay. But, come on and what is with the really hot stick in the bathroom?
Rachel: Oh, c'mon. We'll have, we'll have a big party, and no-one'll know who's with who.
Chandler: And this has nothing to do with the fact that he needs a note to get out of gym.
Monica: But why?! Did he get in touch with Emily?
Ross: Ohh! A man with a plan!
Monica and Chandler: Three! (They lift up the covers and check each other out, then come back up with silly grins on their faces.)
Chandler: Hey, I'm sorry, I should have given you guys my black book when I got married! Although it wasn't so much a book as a... napkin. With Janice's phone number on it.
[Sequence 1: Chandler is running past Phoebe with the ball, Phoebe flashes him, he stops and stares dumbfounded at her. Phoebe then runs up and takes the ball away.]
Ross: (standing) Ok, gentlemen! Please! Aren't we a little old for this? I mean, we're scientists, right? We're academics. And most importantly I... you-you will have to catch us first. (he starts to run away with Charlie). GO, GO, GO! (the paleontologists starts chasing them)
[Scene: The Craps Table, Monica is still on her roll, only this time Chandler's with her and she has a huge crowd of people around.]
Monica: And slept with the professor.
Ross: YAY! (He continues the happiness with her by dancing around) quick thing, I went to talk to Mike.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Richard and Monica are playing with Ben.]
Ross: So Pheebs, how long is your mom gonna be with us?
Phoebe: Yeah, its totally meant to be. (To Monica) Tell him who you originally wanted to hook up with that night.
Chandler: (with his mouth full) What happened? Im just eating candy.
(Now they kiss passionately... and then Ross enters with Emma. They freeze, pull away and look at Ross who looks like he just can't believe what he's seeing. Joey straightens his shirt, and Rachel says I'm so-oo sorry, and presses her breasts together, just like Joey did before.)
A Female Student: Yeah, what's up with that girl Monica?
Ross: I went to Egypt with my dad.
MONICA: And, well, don't you have a lot of wild oats to sew? Or is that what you're doing with me? Oh my God, am I an oat?
Megan: We met with him. Did he show you the photos of the nude wedding he did?
Phoebe: Yay! Its so exciting! Wow, you couldve done that with us there.
Monica: So you're moving in with him. What happened?
Ross: Well, what is she goes down and-and sleeps with a bunch of guys?
Monica: Fine! Judge all you want to but, (points to Ross) married a lesbian, (points to Rachel) left a man at the altar, (points to Phoebe) fell in love with a gay ice dancer, (points to Joey) threw a girls wooden leg in a fire, (points to Chandler) livin in a box!! (goes to her room)
Chandler: Oh, thats uh, thats pretty nice but Im gonna go with the one I picked first.
Joey: Hey, you wanna do Joey a favor, maybe you go out with Joey. (He turns around to see Chandler glaring at him.)
Rachel: But Joey, I dont think Ross wants me to move into his apartment and disrupt his life like that. I mean(Ross turns to her with wishful eyes.)Or he does.
[Scene: The Hospital, Phoebe is arriving with Ross, Joey, and Rachel in tow.]
(Monica plays those words back in her mind and then smiles and runs to Chandler, who is twisting with joy. They hug.)
Monica: Hey Chandler, wanna do it with me?
Chandler: (with his mouthful) Hi Monica.
Chandler: Almost as good as that play with the two naked girls on the see-saw.
Director: (To Joey) Okay, youre dancing with that girl over there.
Joey: (nodding knowingly) Now youre thinking you gotta sleep with him.
Ross: Oh, well no, but I mean, she only goes out with really, really smart guys.
Joey: After she gave me that big speech?! She goes and makes a date with a guy on the same night she has plans with me? I think shes trying to pull a fast one on Big Daddy!
Rachel: You think I trust you with it?! No! Were gonna split it! You take half and I take half!
[The next one is from Episode 706: The One With The Nap Partners.]
Rachel: Well, now, how come you guys have never played poker with us?
Rachel: Uhh, no, no, it bothered me when he slept with other women.
Chandler: I hear ya, Mugsy! But look, all these rooms are fine okay? Can you just pick one so I can watch-(realizes)-have a perfect, magical weekend together with you.
Phoebe: .and I said Vicrum you can't just call every time you get lonely you know, you, you gave up that right when you slept with Rachel.
Rachel: (speaking to the person on the phone again) Yes, yes. I still want my daughters picture, but on a bunny cake. Yellow cake, chocolate frosting with nuts!
Ross: Aw, we-we are so (Motions that theyre connected.) So umm, well I-I-I like you and I-I love umm, yknow hanging out with you. And I mean-Im having a lot of fun. (He pauses and thinks there might be more, but decides there isnt.)
Rachel: Please, Ross, you-you got hurt playing badminton with my dad.
Dr. Baldhara: Well, if he's up against a jungle cat or an animal with horns, you've got to give the little guy something. Otherwise it's just cruel.
ROSS: It wasn't so much a party as...a gathering of people, with food, and music, and, and the band.
Monica: I guess with you doing the internship, we're just spending more than we're bringing in.
Monica: Look, if you want you can keep it at our place until you find out what to do with it.
Joey: Okay. Yeah. Listen would you uh, would you like to have dinner with me tonight?
Monica: No, they gave us glasses with lipstick on them! I mean, if they didn't change the glasses, who knows what else they didn't change. (He glares at her.) Come on sweetie, I just want this weekend to be perfect, I mean we can change rooms, can't we?
Monica: Having a perfectly decorated tree is not what Christmas is about. Its about being with the people that you love.
[Scene: Joey’s apartment. Rachel and Phoebe walk in, loaded with bags.]
Rachel: (on tape) Oh, I remember how we almost. Do you think we wouldve gone through with it? Yknow, if we hadnt gotten caught. Do you think we wouldve done it?