words in movies
Ross: I went thru this with Ben and Carol. One cup of coffee won't affect your milk.
Phoebe: It's so weird seeing Ross and Rachel with a baby. It's just so grown up.
Joey: Actually, you know what? I am. That whole thing with Rachel made me realize that maybe I'm ready for a more serious relationship. You know? Like I'd like to meet a nice mature commitment-minded lady. And looks aren't as important as...Nah, she's gotta be hot.
Phoebe: You know, I might know somebody. Hey, how about you set me up with someone, and we double date!
Chandler. Well my boss and I worked out a deal where I only have to be in Tulsa four days a week, so the other three I can be here with you.
Monica: Honey, thanks for trying to figure out a way, but if you're going to Tulsa, I wanna go with you.
Ross: Was there anything you did wrong with Emma?
Monica: Oh, maybe he was getting him confused with his childhood therapist.
Joey: (Checks him out) Okay! (Walks over to his table and sits down with him)
Mike: I gotta tell you, I can't believe I'm doing this with you. Although I did just get out of a nine-year relationship, so I guess I should be open and taking some risks.
(Monica Enters. Chandler is in the kitchen with his laptop)
Chandler: Can I just say how much I appreciate you coming with me. When we get to Tulsa I'm taking you for a great dinner at 'Slim Pickings'. 'So Cheesy'? 'Whole Hog'? It's going to be tough to keep Kosher in Tulsa.
Receptionist: Dr. Gettleman is finishing up with a patient, he should be out shortly.
Joey: Yeah, that's because we had a bit of a falling out. Mike hit my mom with a car.
Phoebe: Joey, why did you set me up with a stranger?
Mike: I'm sorry too. And just to be clear, I didn't hit his mother with a car.
Chandler: And you're thinking of taking it? (Pause) So before you said being me with me was more important than any job, but I guess now it's old job, (Raises his hand) me, (Raises his hand) new job.
(Ross and Rachel enter with Emma.)
Phoebe: Why did you go along with that?
Ross: Excuse me, I don't mean to be a jerk, but the baby with the rash came in after me.
Receptionist: The doctor will be right with you sir.
Ross: With the circus? He's behind the elephant.
Girl: Mommy, what's wrong with that man?
Joey: I'm mad at you for leaving! You're nothing but a big leaver. Big leaver with a stupid suitcase.
Joey: (On the phone with Chandler) Double promise? Call me when you land.
Rachel: Noo, I y'know I don't see why she has to play with you, that's all. I mean doesn't she have any y'know other stripper moms friends of her own?
Rachel: Hey, so did everything go okay with the annulment?
Phoebe: No offence but, yknow sometimes its hard to understand you, yknow with the accent, so
Monica: Okay, does it involve something to do with Petes computer company?
Phoebe: Youre just so mean to each other! And I dont want to end up like that with Rachel. I still like you!
Phoebe: God, they thought they can mess with us! They're trying to mess with us?! They don't know that we know they know we know! (Joey just shakes his head.) Joey, you can't say anything!
Phoebe: Youre actually going through with this?
Phoebe: Yeah, I'm gonna go back to being Street Phoebe. Yeah! Oh but, y'know what? I can't go totally back because Street Phoebe really wouldn't be friends with you guys. Sorry. (Leaves.)
PHOEBE: Oh ok, Ryan, that guy I went out with, who's in the Navy.
ROSS: Yeah, yeah I mean, you get your money and you learn a little something, what's wrong with that?
Ross: Ok, ok, now what is wrong with my Snuggles? What, it says I'm a sensitive, warm kinda guy, you know, like a warm, fuzzy bear. Ok, I can pick something else up on the way.
Phoebe: So... now... What about with Mike's mom?
[Cut to Chandler trying to hint to Monica that he wanted to move in with her in The One After Vegas.]
[Ross holds up the blouse. It is extremely tacky, with sewn-on medals hanging off of it.]
Monica: Well, I thought this would be a great opportunity to use up all the food that I don't want to move to the new house with me! So, enjoy: smoke oyster casserole with a breakfast cereal crust, kidney beans in their own juices, and for dessert, a questionable orange.
Ross: Can I, can I help you with something?
Monica: What's going on here? You go out with tons of girls.
JOEY: Aww, Rach, I think you look cute (kisses her on the cheek, then looks at Ross) And you, uh, you, you I could eat with a spoon (goes to kiss him).
[Scene: Monica's bedroom, Phoebe is finishing with her haircut and Monica is whincing.]
Chandler: (with his mouthful) Oh-oi-ho, yeah!
Rachel: No Mon that's not the point. I'm out a thousand dollars, I'm all scratched up, and I'm stuck with this stupid cat that looks like a hand! (Storms out.)
MONICA: Wait, what about the time I hit you in the face with the Silvian's pumpkin?
(Joey throws a punch and just lightly taps her on the shoulder, Phoebe counters with a jab to the nose.)
Phoebe: It's, I mean, it's nothing, I'm fine. It's my friends. They-they have a liking problem with you. In that, um, they don't.
Ross: With you?! Yeah right!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe is watching Bert and Ernie with Ben.]
Chandler: That's alright, I'll take it. Bad things happen to me anyway. This way I can break 'em up with a movie.
Rachel: Bye. (She closes the door and everyone tries to sympathize with her.)
Monica: Rachel umm, I was just talking to this guy and I think hell have sex with you.
MONICA: 'Cause I was going by it the other day and I saw that there was a stock with my initials, MEG, on it and, well, sometimes I have to watch for two or three hours before it comes up again but when it does, it's pretty exciting.
[The next clip is from The One With The Blackout.]
Joey: I know, and only one layer of jam?! What is up with that?
Rachel: Noo! Oh no! No! God no! He should not get back together with her. I know that! You know that! Even Ross knows that! But that still doesnt give us the right to erase his message!
Mr Zelner: That’s great. I worry about little Ross. He’s always reading, he's collecting rocks and he’s obsessed with dinosaurs.
Phoebe: Yeah! Ooh, you should come with me! Oh yeah, then I'd have someone to sit with!
[The next one is from Episode 204: The One With Phoebes Husband, when everyone including Julie is watching Joey in his porno.]
Mrs. Geller: You're right. We'll go with the burgundy.
Phoebe: Okay. Im going with you.
Chandler: Okay, but this is the last time. (singing) With a chick-chick here, and a chick-chick there. Here a chick, there a chick, everywhere a chick-chick-(Joey enters)-chickeeeen.
Joey: All right, all right, all right. (Starts to leave, stops, and turns around) I mean Ill have to check with him first, but Ill think hell be cool with it. (Monica shoos him out.)
Ross: No, hey, I get that, okay, I get that big time. And Im happy for ya, but Im tired of having a relationship with your answering machine! Okay, I dont know what to do anymore.
Joey: Yeah? I just figured yknow, after living with you itd be an interesting change of pace to have a female roommate, yknow? Someone I can learn from, someone-someone whos different than me. And whats more different than me; a guy whos not 19 than say a girl who is 19? Enh? (Points to his head.) Not just a hat rack my friend!
(A museum official enters with another man and woman.)
Ross: Look Chandler, Monica is really weird about this kind stuff all right. Believe me, I lived with her for 16 years. She is going to freak out. Oh my God, she's going to sit on you.
Rachel: Okay, its justand this is really embarrassingbut lately with this whole pregnancy thing Im just finding myself how do I put this umm, erotically charged.
Joey: Yeah, but for a one-year-old. What's the point... the other day she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow and the cow says "El-moo"! (Joey starts laughing) Yeah... that's a funny cup!
(Ross is now preoccupied with the spider, and forgets that Rachel is still using the swing. While trying to get rid of the spider, he stands in front of Rachel, who bumps into him, throwing him on the ground again.)
Monica: Not until you said it. Somebody switch! (Chandler makes a clicking sound with his fingers and Phoebe runs to the other wall. Monica returns to Chandlers wall.) Wait a minute... Ross and Charlie, Joey and Rachel, Phoebe and Mike! We're the only people leaving with the same person we came with.
Rachel: God, I am so glad you dont have a problem with this, because if you did, I wouldnt even consider applying.
Rachel: Oh, ju-ju-just stay calm. Just be calm. For all he knows we're just hanging out together. Right? Just be nonchalant. (Joey like stands at attention with his chest forward and his hands on his sides, looking up at the ceiling with his lips pouted.) That's not nonchalant!
Joey: Ah, Im-Im walking down the aisle...Still walking. (Mrs. Waltham takes her place.) Im about to pass the bridesmaid I hooked up with last night. (Looking at the bridesmaid.) Hey! (Talking to Phoebe.) I told her "Hey." And now Im at the front with Ross. Its Phoebe. (He shows Ross the phone.) He looks pretty mad. Uh...Id better go.
EDDIE: Oh, this is, this is unbelievable. I mean, first you sleep with my ex-girlfriend then you insult my inteligenct by lying about it and then you kill my fish, my Buddy?
Phoebe: David the scientist guy, David that I was in love with, David who went to Russia and broke my heart David!
Chandler: No-no, that's okay, apparently there's a new policy where we don't have to share everything with everybody.
Ross: Ah. Joey youre-youre having lunch with my mom?
Joey: Hey guys. (to Chandler) Listen uh, you wanna get some dinner with me and Kathy tonight?
Rachel: Yeah. Just, if its possible, could you leave him somewhere and go have sex with another guy?
Issac: Chloe, switch with me, theres some guys here that got a crush on you.
Rachel: Well, y'know, the reason I didn't wanna go running with you is because um, well y'know the way that you run is a little...(Starts flapping her arms)
[Scene: Hotel's bar. Ross is running to Charlie trying not to be seen with two cocktails in his hands. She's hidden behind a huge plant]
Chandler: (entering, happily, with a bottle of champagne, thinking that Monica is the only one there) Ha-ha-ha-(sees everyone)-enh-enh. I'm so glad you guys are all here! My office finally got wrinkle free fax paper!
Story by: David Crane & Marta Kauffman Teleplay by: Jeff Greenstein & Jeff Strauss Transcribed by: Mindy Mattingly Phillips With Minor Adjustments by: Dan Silverstein
Rachel: Handling it? What do you mean, handling it? Theres nothing to handle. Now, maybe I would have a problem with this if it wasnt for me and Joshua. Yknow, theyre not gonna get married anyway!
Jennifer: With Operation.
PHOEBE: Today we're gonna start with some songs about barnyard animals. [singing] Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo, Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo. Then the farmer hits him on the head and grinds him up, And that's how we get hamburgers. Nooowww, chickens!
Phoebe: With who?
Monica: Chandler, for so long I I wondered if I would ever find my prince, my soul mate. Then three years ago, at another wedding I turned to a friend for comfort. And in stead, I found everything that Id ever been looking for my whole life. And now here we are with our future before us and I only want to spend it with you, my prince, my soul mate, my friend. Unless you dont want to. You go!
Joey: All right, I have one question. What is the deal with this? (Imitates Ross's 'quiet down' maneuver, but does move his hands up and down he just flaps his hands as if he's waving good-bye.)
Rachel: I mean why, of all people would you want to go out with Chip?!
Monica: Okay. It's-it's about Alan. There's something that you should know. I mean, there's really no easy way to say this.. uh.. I've decided to break up with Alan.
Phoebe: Okay, enough with the third degree! I-Ive, I dont live here anymore.
Ross: Hey Pheebs, what-what was the deal with you and Chandler blowing us off before?
Joey: What are you talking about? Lots of things rhyme with Rachel. Bagel. Mail. Jail. Bail. Able. May-pole.
Chandler: Okay! Okay! Okay! You win! You win!! I can't have sex with ya!
Chandler: Well, if were gonna do that we should come up with some kind of order. Yknow alphabetically or by genre?
Chandler: (examining the coffee table) Scotch on the rocks, with a twist, on a coaster? Ha-ha, Monica! Monica!
Joey: (entering with Phoebe) Hey!
Monica: Now, are you glad we didnt start with the bikini strips?
(Chandler and Joey enter with charcoal.)
JOEY: But wait, wait, wait. Then, after I left her office, she caught up with me at the elevator and offered me an even bigger part.
Chandler: (with phone to ear, obviously hearing no dial tone) Paid your phone bill?
Phoebe: Just, 'cause, I don't want her to go through what I went through with Carl- oh!
Chandler: Not to shabby, I got this all off myself using my wifes tools. (He takes the door off the frame and we finally get to see whats behind the green door! It is stacked, floor to ceiling, with junk.) Oh my God!
{Transcribers Note: Elizabeth has two friends in the room with her who are named in the credits, but not in this scene. So Im just gonna guess since it doesnt matter one way or the other. (The last part is to discourage e-mails, who cares if I got it right or not?)}
Monica: You went out with Wallis Pincer?
Chandler: But uh Ross, Ross is a great guy! I was roommates with him in college. Uh, funny story (He starts laughing then notices that Paul isnt happy.) Youre roommate in college died didnt he?
Ross: Do you remember the scene with, um, Jabba the Hut? Well Jabba had as, as his prisoner, um, Princess Leia.
[Scene: The delivery room, Ross has returned with another doctor. This one, is well, younger.]
Phoebe: Monica! Thats not right! Start with where.
Monica: Mom�s here? I wanted to have lunch with her today, she told me she was out of town.
Joey: (snaps his fingers) He hooked up! He hooked up with someone.
Phoebe: Although he does play with himself in his sleep.
Monica: Okay, lets start with the free messages outside the UN.
Rachel: So are things with you and Joey any better?
Mrs. Green: Plus, what are you planning on doing with the baby while youre trotting out to the garbage ten times a day?
Rachel: I mean, look-look today you escaped (Pause) (Not believing it) death, y'know? And maybe this is a chance for you to escape getting back together with Emily?
Rachel: How did it go with Erin?
[Scene: Airport, Ross has headphones on, and is listening to a 'How To Speak Chinese' tape. Occasionally, he makes an outburst in Chinese in accordance with the tape. He is getting on the jetway. The flight attendant is there.]
Joey: Look, I told ya, Im not going to any clinic! I dont have a problem, youre the one with the problem! You should go to a "Quit being a baby and leave me alone" clinic!
Rachel: Oh my God, Monicas gonna go out with a millionaire.