words in movies
Monica: Aunt Syl, stop yelling! All I'm saying is that if you had told me vegetarian lasagna, I would have made vegetarian lasagna. (pauses, listens to person on phone) Well, the meat's only every third layer, maybe you could scrape.
Joey: Ross, did you really read all these baby books?
Ross: Yup! You could plunk me down in the middle of any woman's uterus, no compass, and I can find my way out of there like that! (snaps fingers)
Monica: Aunt Syl, I did this as a favor, I am not a caterer. What do you want me to do with a dozen lasagnas? (listens to Aunt Syl on phone, looks shocked) Nice talk, Aunt Syl. (in New York accent) You kiss Uncle Freddie with that mouth?
Joey: Hey Ross, listen, you know that right now, your baby's only this big? (measures about 2 inches with his thumb and index finger) This is your baby. (in baby-like voice) Hi Daddy!
Joey: (in baby-like voice) How come you don't live with Mommy? (pause; shows Ross less than amused) How come Mommy lives with that other lady? (pause; Ross still looks less than amused; Joey smiling) What's a lesbian? (playfully hits Ross)
Rachel: Honey, you can say it, Poconos, Poconos, it's like Poc-o-nos (touching Paolo's nose with forefinger with each syllable)
Rachel: I mean, we are way past the fling thing, I mean, I am feeling things that I've only read about in Danielle Steele books, you know? I mean, when I'm with him, I'm totally, totally...
Chandler: You think?
Ross: Hey, when did you and Susan meet Huey Lewis?
Carol: Don't you want to know about the sex?
Ross: (chuckles nervously) The sex? (chuckles) Um, I'm having enough trouble with the image of you and Susan together, when you throw in Tanya (miming washing hair, that's the best I could think of), yaw...
Ross: Oh, you know the sex of the baby? Oh, oh-oh-oh!
Carol: Do you want to know?
Ross: No, no, no, no, no, I don't want to know, absolutely not. I think, you know, I think you should know until you look down there, and say, oop, there it is! (pauses) Or isn't...
Susan: So, so, did you hear?
Ross: (interrupts) No, no, no I don't want to know, don't want to know. Ok, you know, I should probably, I should probably just go.
Chandler: What rule? There's no rule, if anything, you owe me a table!
Joey: How'd you get to that?
Joey: You knew about that?
Chandler: Well, let's just say the impressions you made in the butter left little to the imagination.
Chandler: What do you mean, like, buy it together?
Chandler: You think we're ready for something like that?
Joey: Why, are you moving out?
Joey: You'd tell me if you were moving out right
Joey: Well, let me ask you something, was Kip a better roommate than me?
Phoebe: Oh, Paolo, hi, what are you doing here?
Paolo: Uh, Racquela tell me you massage, eh?
Phoebe: Oh, okay, I don't know what you just said, so let's get started.
Phoebe: Um, that's really your decision, I mean, some people prefer, you know, to take off...oh whoops! You're being naked!
Rachel: (to Ross) I can't believe you don't want to know. I mean, I couldn't not know, I mean, if, if the doctor knows, and Carol knows, and Susan knows....
Ross: Wha, heh, how could you know, I don't even know!
Phoebe: All right, you know Paolo?
Monica: Are you sure?
Chandler: So what are you gonna do?
Ross: You have to tell her! You have to tell her! It's your moral obligation, as a friend, as a woman, I think it's a feminist issue! Guys? Guys? (waiting for guys to chime in)
Chandler: Oh, yeah, you have to tell her.
Joey: Will you pick one, just pick one! Here, how about that one? (points to a table)
Chandler: You pick one.
Joey: Fine, you want to get the birds, get the birds!
Phoebe: Are you moving out?
Phoebe: Ok, um, (clears throat) we haven't known each other for that long a time, and, um, there are three things that you should know about me. One, my friends are the most important thing in my life, two, I never lie, and three, I make the best oatmeal raisin cookies in the world. (Phoebe opens a tin and offers Rachel a cookie)
Rachel: I guess you don't.
Chandler: So, what do you think?
Monica: So how does this work, you going to balance the plates on these little guys' heads?
Monica: Heads up Ross! (Monica scores on Chandler and Joey) Score! (points at Chandler) You suck!
Phoebe: Are you okay?
Phoebe: Ok, I've got milk (takes thermos from her bag and starts to pour a cup) Here you go... (Rachel drinks straight from thermos) Oh!(Rachel finishes thermos) Better?
Rachel: No...oh, I feel so stupid! Oh, I think about the other day with you guys and I was all "Oh, Paolo, he's so great, he makes me feel so..." Oh, God, I'm so embarrassed!
Phoebe: (raises hand) Oh! I know! (Rachel startled) It's because... he's gorgeous, and he's charming, and when he looks at you...
Phoebe: Should I not have told you?
Phoebe: I think she took it pretty well. You know Paolo's over there right now, so...
Joey: No-no, she kicked our butts. You could be on the Olympic standing-there team.
Chandler: What are you still doing here? She just broke up with the guy, it's time for you to swoop in!
Joey: Yes, now is when you swoop! You gotta make sure that when Paolo walks out of there, the first guy Rachel sees is you, She's gotta know that you're everything he's not! You're like, like the anti-Paolo!
Chandler: My Catholic friend is right. She's distraught. You're there for her. You pick up the pieces, and then you usher in the age of Ross! (Ross and Chandler look off into the distance. Joey, wondering what they are looking at, looks in the same direction)
Monica: Don't stare. Now she just finished throwing his clothes off the balcony, now there's just a lot of gesturing and arm-waving, (shows Rachel gesturing with hands in front of her chest), Ok, that is either, "How could you?" or, "Enormous breasts!" Here he comes!
Monica: Paolo, I really hate you for what you did to Rachel, (hands him a lasagna) but I still have five of these, so heat it at 375 until the cheese bubbles.
Ross: Paolo, I-I just want to tell you and I think I speak for everyone when I say... (shuts door in his face and walks away)
Ross: Oh you guys, I-I really think just one of us should go out there so she's not overwhelmed...
Ross: You all right?
Ross: Come here. (he hugs Rachel) Listen, you deserve so much better than him...you know, I mean, you, you, you should be with a guy who knows what he has when he has you.
Monica: Ooh...hey honey, are you all right?
Phoebe: You ok?
Ross: See, Rach, uh, see, I don't think that swearing off guys altogether is the answer. I really don't. I think that what you need is to develop a more sophisticated screening process.
Rachel: No. I just need to be by myself for a while, you know? I just got to figure out what I want
Monica: Where are you guys going? Come on, one more game!
Monica: You guys are always hanging out in my apartment! Come on, I'll only use my left hand, huh? Come on, wussies! (Joey and Chandler pick her up) All right, ok, I gotta go. I'm going, (they throw her out) and I'm gone.
Phoebe: You guys you really should get rid of those animals. They shouldnt be living in an apartment.
PHOE: Hey, Julie! Hey, how are you doing?
Rachel: I mean, I'll fly back and forth, they'll fly you out... Anything we want.
Phoebe: (she just looks at him) Why are you being weird?
Chandler: Are you asking permission to break the pact?
Monica: Thanks. (Joeys still patting the burn spot) I think you got it!
Phoebe: I cant!! I cant!! (She dies.) Noooooooo!!!!!!! You son of a bitch!!!!!
Monica: Oh my God! You don't know me at all!
Monica: Well, what do you think of Mike and Chandler being in a car accident?
Ross: Rach, I think youre reading a little too much into it.
Ross: Look, I'm sorry to hear about your tragedy, ok? But the swings are perfectly safe, and besides Emma loves them. You know what, you should come with us and you'll see!
Rachel: (on phone) Excuse me, Im sorry, Im gonna have to call you back, Ive got a Schemp in my office. (hangs up) (to Ross) What are you doing?
Rachel: Hey, do you believe this? Do you believe they are actually getting married?
Ross: (to Chandler) Wait-wait, so, you get to be my best man twice and I never get to be yours at all?
Tag: And if that person is already in your life, you should do something about it right?
Chandler: (slides the juice across the counter which Joey catches) What do you care? You're an actor. This is your day job. This isn't supposed to mean anything to you.
Rachel: All right! Yknow what? Thats it! You wanna do it?! Lets do it!
Monica: Because they dont know were dating. (Again, trying to quickly change subjects.) Do you think we should eat in the kitchen? (Goes to the sink and the stove to cook.)
Airline Employee: Sir! Im afraid Im gonna have to ask you to leave.
Joey: Great, you can cover Chandler.
Joey: Aw, come on! It'll be years before I forget you!
Rachel: Ooh, you guys, it starts in like 20 minutes.
Rachel: You know what, Im gonna do that, Im gonna call him up, and Im gonna ask him out. I can do that. Ask him out. (Practising) How you doin? (Calls him) Hi! Joshua? Its Rachel Green from Bloomingdales. (Listens) Yeah, umm, I was wondering if you umm, if you umm, left your wallet at the store today? Well, we found a wallet, and we(Listens) the license? Well, that is a good idea! Uh, well, lets see here this says this license belongs to a uh, uh, belongs to a mister uh, Pheebs, and umm, yeah, so sorry to bother you at home. Ill see you tomorrow. Bye. (Hangs up) (to Phoebe) Youve done that a thousand times?
Rachel: Do you wanna play football?
Chandler: (To Monica) So you came to the room looking for Joey? Did you ever in-intend on telling me about this?
Joey: Did you see the size of the closets?!
Rachel: Chandler, arent you worried about what to get Monica for Christmas?
Monica: No youre fine. (Joey checks anyway.) All right well, do you think I could take Rachel?
Phoebe: But umm, I mean, did you talk to them about, y'know
Monica: You are both idiots. The joke is not funny, and its offensive to women, and doctors, and monkeys! You shouldnt be arguing over who gets credit, you should be arguing over who gets blamed for inflicting this horrible joke upon the world! Now let it go! The joke sucks!
Joey: Thank you.
Phoebe: All right, so what were you thinking?
Gary Collins: (on TV.) It looks like we have surpassed last year's pledge total! Thank you viewers! The pledge that did it was taken by one of our volunteers (He walks over to where Joey is sitting.) Oh boy! And may I say one of our sharpest dressed volunteers, (Joey stands up.) Mr. Joseph Tribbiani!
Rachel: You dont pick me! Youre stuck with me!
Joey: But you two were supposed to be together.
MONICA: You remember that video I found of mom and dad?
Chandler: Really? What do you do? You just sit in there stewing in your own filth.
Rachel: (coming over to Ross, who is just getting up) Are you okay?
MR. TREEGER: Uhh, you said there was a party.
Monica: Well, you broke up with Julie Grath! How much weight could she have gained?
Ross: You, you go long.
JOEY: I don't know, you see somethin', you hear a word, I thought that's what it was. Let me see it again.
Chandler: Oh, so thats this is gonna work now? Youre just gonna order me around all the time?
Joey: I know, but Im a neurologist. And just to be on the safe side, Dr. Wells wanted a more comprehensive overview of you status so he sent me.
Monica: Awww, just like you always wanted. Congratulations
Rachel: (entering) Chandler!! You have the best taste in men!
Joey: (entering) Hey, Chandler, you got a minute? I-I really need to talk to you.
Mrs. Bing: Chandler darling! Look, my date has finally arrived. Id like you to meet Dennis Phillips.
Ross: Look, look, theres got to be a way we can work past this. Okay, (takes a hold of one of her arms.) I cant imagine, I cant imagine my life without you. (Both of them are starting to cry.) Without, without these arms, and your face, and this heart. Your good heart Rach, (drops to his knees and hugs her around her waist) and, and....
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Itssince youve never done it before you can be Monicas made of honor.
Ross: It doesnt matter. You dont dip your pen in the company ink.
Rachel: Hi. What are you doing here? Isn't this against the rules?
Doug: Oh, is it the swearing? I mean is it the constant swearing? Because I gotta tell ya, if it is, you can just... kiss my ass!
Malcom: What are you doing?
RACHEL: You are ready to make a commitment!
Ross: Joey! You're in charge, ok? You make sure nobody leaves! (leaves)
CHANDLER: Yes because uh, you look so young.
Rachel: Sure. You got it. Great!
CHANDLER: That was in the fourth grade. How could you still be upset about that?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah! You like em? I just, I went to a used clothes store and got a bunch of maternity stuff. These are sooo comfortable!
Chandler: Uh-huh! Join me, won't you?! Okay, what do you say we keep one, and then just like have an option on the other one?
Director: Next on the platforms are (He points to the right of Ross and Monica, so they dance over to where hes pointing to. He points away from them) you two! And (He points the other way, and Ross and Monica follow his arm. Again he points away.) You two!
Joey: What are you gonna do?
Chandler: You say that now, but it could take us a long time to get back home. Plus Joey could get lost and and they could have to page us to go pick him up.
Joey: Here you go!
Agency guy: Do you have any question for Erica?
Friend No. 2: Youre so bad!
Chandler: Did you not understand the story?
Ross: So you took off my pants and shoes?
Rachel: Yeah, this is Tag. Tag, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, can I see you for a second? (Goes into office.)
Chandler: Okay, heres the thing. Were gonna get you some coffee and they will never know that youre drunk.
Chandler: Yes, the moon, the glow, the magical feeling, you did this part- Could I get some painkillers over here, please?
Joey: Thank you! Well, I guess now I know who Im taking to the awards. (Points to Rachel.)
Rachel: All right, Ill see you guys later.
Joey: No idea? Who do you think brought her here?
Joey: Man! When you said it was a problem about your boss and the baby I figured it was something about maternity leave.
PHOEBE: Anyway, OK, now promise you won't like, freak out and say how great this is until I'm done, OK.
Phoebe: I think it's just y'know that I haven't been with a guy in so long and how sometimes you're looking for something and you just dont even see that it's right there in front of you sipping coffeeOh no, have I said to much? Well it's just something to think about. I know I will.
Phoebe: All right. Although I dont think we need one, I never stopped loving you.
Joey: Id love to show ya, but I just tucked her in. Shes sleeping. (The women both laugh) Hey uh, would you two girls like to go for a drink? (Just then the same guy with the football dives to make a catch, lands on the car cover, and collapses it. It turns out that Joey set up a bunch of boxes to make it look like a Porsche.)
Rachel: No, I don't! Ross, I think I'm just a more secure person than you are.
Fireman No. 3: We get off around midnight, why don't we pick you up then?
Ross: You know you probably didn't know this, but back in high school, I had a, um, major crush on you.
CHAN: Waitress. Got it. You guys wanna play Doom? Or we could keep doing this. What else?
Chandler: (pauses as he struggles with what he has to say) Youre a little high maintenance.
[Scene: The Buildings Roof, the entire gang plus Tag are there to look for a comet. Theyre looking for a comet on a roof of a New York apartment building. Yeah, thats realistic. You might as well look for the moon on a bright sunny day.]
MONICA: Yes you did. Absolutely.
Rachel: Oh, you guys are gonna have so much fun! She's at such a cute age. Oh, a couple things. Now that she's eating solid food, she poops around the clock. And watch out for your hair, 'cause she likes to grab it. And oh, she's also in this phase where if you leave the room, she screams bloody murder, but ah... Thanks, you guys. Have fun!
Rachel: (She comforts him too) Oh, youre gonna be great!
Rachel: Im so sorry! Are you okay?
Chandler: No, come on, you know that's not true.
MONICA: No. No you can't go. No this is fun. Come on we're just getting started. Here, here's your marker.
Guy: No, you, you cant fit in that thing. Thats not deep enough.
Ross: I mean youre not gonna give me a-a ticket for driving too slow are ya?
Ross: No! You let go!
Ross: Hi. I understand you had a little talk with Emily.
Gary: Yeah, you can't eat that in my car.
Rachel: Yeah! You and that girl from that copy place, which yesterday you took full responsibility for!!
Chandler: Shocking! Since you still have the keys.
Chandler: Well, I thought you guys were cuddlily sleepers.