words in movies
Chandler: All right, I suppose I can wait a day. Hey, what are you doing Friday?
Chandler: I need you to come to this bachelor party for my weird cousin Albert, y'know he's the botanist.
Chandler: (to Phoebe) It must take you forever to find your keys.
Rachel: (running into the living room) Thank you, thank you, thank you, Pheebs.
Ross: Honey, just relax, it's gonna be fine. Hey, umm,. why don't I come down there and I'll take you out to lunch?
Rachel: Oh honey, thank you, but Mark's taking me out.
Ross: Mark is that ah, the same Mark that helped you get the job?
Chandler: (to Ross) Hey, so can you make it on Friday?
Phoebe: A stripper at a bachelor party, that is so clich�. Why don't you get a magician?!
Ross: She's having lunch with him. She's having lunch with him. And you should of seen the hug she gave him when she got the job. And, and, and, (to Joey) he's really good looking. (Joey gives an enthusiastic thumbs up) What am I gonna do?
Chandler: I want to say you but, that seems like such an easy answer.
Ross: Ah Joey, I don't think you get to pick the cities.
Chandler: I'll get you the Cliff Notes.
Mark: Here, let me. (answers phone) Rachel Green's line, how may I help you?
Rachel: Oh honey, this is his office too. I told you we're Joanna's two assistants.
Rachel: I think I just shipped 3,000 bras to personnel. Oh honey, I gotta go. (to Mark) Mark, I need you!
Jeannine: (to Monica) All right, I just got changed in thirty seconds so you can be alone with him. You'd better go for it.
Jeannine: Well, if you don't, I will.
Monica: Would you please go?
Monica: Oh yeah, what are you reading?
Julio: Flowers of Evil, by Beaudalire. Have you read it?
Monica: Have I read it? (pause) No, are you enjoying it?
Monica: Oh, then you do know it. (pause) So um what kind of things do you write about?
Director: Listen Joey, we definitely want to see you for the callback on Saturday.
Phoebe: Well, can you dance at all?
Chandler: All right, I have to get that, but no-no. (answering phone) Hello? (listens) (happily) Hi! Yeah listen, I'm, I'm in need of a stripper and I was told that you do that. (listens) Let me ask you this, what, what do you do for the extra hundred? (listens) So would I, would I have to provide the grapes?
Monica: It was soo amazing, he is so sexy, and smart, which makes him even sexier. Oh gosh, I gotta so you this. Last night, we were fooling around and he stops to write a poem.
Joey: Well sure, you name a kid that, what do you expect them to grow up to be?
Monica: Oh, I'm so glad you guys like it. Yay! All right I gotta go to work. (tries to take the poem)
Monica: All right, just give it back to me when your done. See you guys.
Phoebe: What?! He was with her when he wrote this poem. Look, (reading) 'My vessel so empty with nothing inside. Now that I've touched you, you seem emptier still.' He thinks Monica is empty, she is the empty vase!
Chandler: You really think that is what he meant?
Mark: (reaching through the flowers) Do you have the, the Ralph Lauren file?
Mark: Wow! Somebody wants people to know you have a boyfriend.
Man: (to Rachel) Ah, excuse me, are you Rachel Green?
Quartet: (singing) And you know who will be there to support... you?! Your one and only boyfriend...
Ross: I'm hurt! I'm actually hurt, that you would think that I would send you any of those things out of any thing other than love. Hurt! Hurt!
Rachel: Oh, please, Ross it was so obvious! It was like you were marking your territory. I mean you might have well have just come in and peed all around my desk!
Rachel: Look, I know what's going on here, okay, Mark explained it all to me. He said this is what you guys do.
Chandler: Look, don't you see what's happening here. Instead of hitting on her right away, he's becoming her confidant. Now he's gonna be the guy she goes too to complain about you.
Chandler: Well, why don't you send her a musical bug, op, no you already did that. All right look, you're going to have to go there yourself now, okay, make a few surprise visits.
Ross: I don't know you guys.
Chandler: All right fine, don't do anything, just sit here and talk to us, meanwhile she is talking to him about you. And he's being Mr. Joe Sensitive, and she starts thinking 'Maybe this is the guy for me, because he understands me.'
Joey: And before you know it, she's with him. And you'll be all, 'Ohh, man!' And he'll be all, 'Yes!' And us, we'll be like, 'Wh-whoa, dude.' And pretty soon you'll be like, (sadly) 'Hhiii,' and, and, and, 'I can't go, Rachel and Mark might be there.' And we'll be like, 'Man get over it, it's been four years!!'
Mark: (turning around) And wait, I've got something for you. (kisses her)
Mark: I can't help it, I'm just, I'm just crazy about you.
Mark: Okay, okay look, I know I'm being Mr. Inappropriate today, but it's just so tough, I mean see you walking around and I just wanna touch you and hold you, come on no one's around, just, just kiss me.
Director: Listen Joey, seeing as you've got the most experience, I want you to take these dancers and show them the combination.
Phoebe: What are you wrapping?
Monica: What do you mean?
Phoebe: Remember how you said you were really dense about poetry? Oh. (hugs her)
Monica: Y'know, so I don't read as many important books as you do, and I don't write trick poems that seem to be about one thing but are actually about something else. And y'know what, I get excited about stupid stuff, like when I my People magazine comes on Saturday, and the new Hold Everything catalog. Y'know but that does not mean that I'm empty, I care about things. I care about my friends and family. You have no right to make that kind of judgment about me.
Monica: You don't even know me...
Julio: Whoa, whoa, whoa, the poem is not about you.
Julio: The Empty Vase is not about you. My baby, you make me so sad that you would think this.
Julio: No, it's about all women. Well, all American women. You feel better now?
Rachel: So ah, did you have fun at the bachelor party last night?
Chandler: And then you click it and, uh-oh, she's naked. And then, and then you click it again and she's dressed. She's a business woman, she's walking down the street, she's window shopping, and (clicks pen) whoa-whoa-whoa, sh-she's naked! (Rachel just stares at him.)
Ross: A big idiot. Just you have to realize is, this whole Mark thing is kinda hard for me.
Ross: Well, I was with Carol for like eight years and I lost her. And now if it's possible I think I love you even more. So, it's hard for me to believe that I'm not gonna, well that someone else is not going to take you away.
Chandler: Oh, okay Ross. Listen, this pen is kinda getting boring, so can you pick me up some porn?
Rachel: You have a play date with a stripper?!
Ross: Are you jealous?
Rachel: Noo, I y'know I don't see why she has to play with you, that's all. I mean doesn't she have any y'know other stripper moms friends of her own?
Ross: You are totally jealous.
Ross: Honey, I love you too.
Chandler: Yeah. Either that, or you just turned him on and sent him off to a stripper.
Man: (singing) Mister Pretensous, (Monica stands up in the background) you think there's no one finer, well but your poems are unpublished, and you work in a diner.
Quartet: Your no God's gift to women, that's all in your headdddd. You are just a buttmunch.
Ross: If you want to check your email, just ask! (Chandler tries to look offended)
Monica: Did you ever go out with a guy your friends all really like?
JOEY: But don't you need experience for a job like that?
Ross: Hey, hey, hey, that's not the rule and you know it.
Phoebe: Oh, hey, Chandler I wanna hug you too!
Cecilia: No! Its because that way the camera only sees her! (She takes her hands off his face.) Do you wanna try it?
Joey: Oh. (realises) Ohh. Ohh, youre out of your mind.
Rachel: (on phone) Oh my God! Oh my God! Thank you! (Hangs up) That was the fire department, there was a fire at our place!
Ross: What are you talking about? You get sixty responses just for coming out of the closet! I didn't get one response! And I'm dead!
Doug: Well, I gotta tell ya Bing; that partner of yours is a real tiger. (To his wife.) Are you all right sweethart?
JOEY: So, you were both dorks. Big deal.
MONICA: I wanna buy 5 shares of SGJ and I wanna buy them now. C'mon time is money my friend. Thank you. Wooo.
Chandler: Are you all right?!
Coma Guy: I feel good! ...Who are you?
Chip: You know where I work!
Joey: (with food in his mouth) You talked to him. Are you crazy?
Phoebe: Yeah, but did you see the dents in his knuckles? That means he's artistic.
Rachel: Oh, but yknow, no, you didnt give me your phone number.
Ross: Happy for you. (He punches her back.)
Joey: (approvingly) Oh! ok, yeah, I think I can do that. Yeah ok, there's this party scene coming up.. and Olivia and her husband are there and all Drake wants to do is grab her and kiss her, but he can't... And that makes me think about all those times when I wanted to grab you and kiss you, but you didn't know so I would just pretend everything was cool, but really, it was killing me.
Chandler: Interesting! (To Monica) Can I see you for a second?
Rachel: Ill go with you.
All you want is a dingle, What you envy's a schwang, A thing through which you can tinkle, Or play with, or simply let hang...
Phoebe: (playing guitar and singing) And there's a country called Argentinaaaa, it's a place I've never seeeeen. But I'm told for fifty pesos you can buy a human spleen. Humaaan spleeeeen. Olè!
Rachel: You know what? Uhm, I have some goodbye stuff that I wanted to say to each of you and I was gonna save it until the end of the night, but come here (they go into the guest room).
Dr. Long: (To Joey) Uh, if you have any questions, heres some information on Braxton-Hicks. (Hands Joey a pamphlet.) Oh and by the way, you did the right thing by bringing her in. Youre gonna make a wonderful father.
Phoebe: I really thought you making a good point. I mean y'know, until you got cut off.
Chandler: Yeah, well I dont think you can make that statement, unless youve been kicked in an area that God only meant to be treated nicely.
Phoebe: Okay (walks out and closes the door behind her, looks up and whispers) If you guys have microphones in there too, I didn't mean any of that. I love you.
Ross: She said you gave her the razor!
Chandler: Oh yeah, that was great. Thanks to you, the hottest cocktail waitress there is quitting to teach the third grade!
Joey: Where you going?
Cynthia: I can't believe you thought that you were going to video tape us having sex on the first date! (She storms away and Rachel enters to confront Joey.)
Rachel: Thank you.
Rachel: Monica, would you calm down? The credit card people said that you only have to pay for the stuff that you bought.
Bandleader: Thank you, thank you very much. If everyone will please take your seats, dinner will be served.
Monica: Why did you hire me?
ROSS: No, there is no way he was a velociraptor. No Tony, look at the cranial ridge, OK. If Dino was a velociraptor, he would have eaten the Flintstones. Yeah, yeah. [Monica comes out of her room] Oh, were you takin' a nap?
Joey: Well, if she's my friend, hopefully she'll understand. I mean, wouldn't you guys?
Mr. Heckles: You owe me a waffle.
Rachel: Umm, I said I thought you were a good kisser, and uh, and that I like your tiney-tiny touchie.
Ross: I know if you were getting married Id feel, kinda .. yknow.
Phoebe: Yeah, you've... you know, sort of been like a dad to me. I mean, you've always, you know, looked out for me and shared your wisdom...
Frank: You dont have it anymore?
Rachel: Oh no-no-no-no-no, no you dont!
Chandler: Well, you know Phoebs. I don't know if it's your kinda thing, because it involves a lot of being normal. For a large portion of the day.
Ginger: Okay. Its just like anything else, you just have to get used to it.
Monica: Thats right. Thats right. And that is why you cant stay here tonight. And probably why you shouldnt come to the wedding.
Phoebe: Yeah, thanks. And listen, can you do me a favor? Could you just umm, wake me up in a couple hours, yknow if you can.
Joey: Ross! (Laughs) Theyre gonna kill you!
Ross: (To Joey) Hey, you wanna get something to eat or uh, do you wanna see how long we can throw this ball back and forth? Huh?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica are there and Rachel is arranging a bouquet of flowers, pricks her finger on a thorn, throws the bouquet over her head, and those you who are quicker than some already know that Monica is the one who catches it.]
Richard: You mean like exclusive friends?
Erica: Yeah. It's a sonogram they took of the baby last week. I thought you might want to see it. (gives it to Monica, who looks at it for a long time, and then shows it to Chandler)
Rachel: You never come into this office again!
RACHEL: You see, you look beautiful. For god sakes, dim the lights.
SCOTT: Fleischman's group. Whatever you do, don't touch his sandwiches. Ha-ha-ha...
Ross: Oh God, this is so nerve wracking! How-how do you do this?
Ross: Oh! (Does a laugh/groan.) Listen umm, I, I just stopped by to see if you wanted to see this play tonight. Umm, its supposed to be excellent. The director is the same
Joey: Hey! Dont do the crime if you cant do the time.
The Cooking Teacher: Monica, you go to the head of the class.
Joey: I want you.I need you.Let me make love to you.
Monica: Where are you guys going? Come on, one more game!
Monica: I missed this apartment! Now, this is a grown-ups apartment! Yknow, I-I should be with a grown-up, do you know what I mean?!
Joshua: You okay? (Rachel swallowed it whole and is not hacking like a heavy smoker in the morning.) You all right? (Rachel walks away, coughing.)
RACHEL: Daddy, daddy, you know what, I really wanna hear more about this, I really do, but I just have, I just have to do a, some stuff.
Monica: I know, hes too charming, but if you two start going out, then its just gonna make it so much harder for me to hate him.
ROSS: Hey, hey, woah, you want some of this, huh? You want a piece of this, huh? I'm standin here, huh.
Ross: How did you know she would buy scotch tape?
Sandy: Oh, no, no, no... That's okay. I got a lot of offers from other families. I just picked you guys because... I liked you the best.
Rachel: Yeah, because I was mad at you, not because I stopped loving you!
Joey: You wanna see what I got? (He gets up to empty out his pockets) Okay? Ive got a baby Tootsie Roll, a movie stub, keys, a Kleenex, a rock, and an army man. Hey!
Joey: Ross! Ross! If youre going to the airport, could you pick me up another one of those Toblerone bars? (Chandler nods his head no.)
Rachel: (looks at him) That was (pause) surreal. Okay, what do think? Are you interested at all?
Monica: What are you talking about?
Chandler: You dont have it.
Alice: Umm, it costs $16,000 each time you do this. So, umm, were kinda using all the money we have to do it just this one time.
Monica: And you?
Phoebe: So umm, now do you have any of Matt Lauers clothes here? Maybe? Just ones that havent been cleaned yet?
Ross: Unagi is a state of total awareness. Okay? Only by achieving true unagi can you be prepared for any danger that may befall you!
Chandler: (To Gary) So what do you say, maybe sometime I hold your gun?
Monica: See what happens when you give people advice? I hope you told him not to?
The Saleslady: Yes! I have it right here. (Phoebe and Monica both gasp at the dress.) Would you like to try it on Ms. Waltham?
Joey: Pheebs, I am so sorry! I know I promised you a fun road trip with your friend and I didnt deliver. But-but-but now I know that you think being awake is an important part of friendship! So, so, so I will strive to-to stay awake for as long as I know you.
Ross: That was the water fountain! Okay?! Anyway, people are writing reports for me, uh pushing back deadlines to meet my schedule, I'm telling you, you get tough with people you can get anything you want. (Joey walks by with a cup of coffee.) Hey Tribbiani, give me that coffee! Now!
Joey: (To Chandler) In what John Houston film would you hear this line, "Badges? We dont need no stinkin badges!"
CHANDLER: Alright, one of you give me your underpants.
Rachel: Oh, you’re not gonna believe what happened to me today! Ralph Lauren called, and gave me my job back!
Joey: There you go! Keep going. Keep going!
Mr. Treeger:: What are you doing?
Monica: (as Rachel) Yeah... Yeah, I know it's pretty selfish, but haha, hey, that's me. (Indicating a dish on the table) Why don't you try the hummus?
Chandler: I'm so sorry, but you should have a sign out there or something. Or at least whisper it to people when they come in the door. "Owen doesn't know he's adopted, and he also thinks that Santa is real."
Ross: Why dont you call him?! Well, thank you very much! Y'know now he is going to prep her, y'know prep her, as in what you do when you surgically remove the boyfriend!
Joey: Whoa-whoa, Treeger made you cry?
Chandler: Oh no, youll have to come.
Joey: I don't know. What are you wearing?
Kathy: Hi! (Kisses Chandler) Thank you so much for coming again. Did you like it tonight?
Doctor Connelly: I'm sorry there wasn't better news from your test last week but I wanted to talk to you about your options.
Mike: You never told me about that guy on your sweet sixteen. Oh, ugh. I'm sorry about that.
Joey: Uhh, look Katie, uh listen, we-we need to talk. Okay? Umm, look I like you. I-I really do, I like you a lot. Okay? But sometimes when you, when you playfully punch me like that it-it feels like someone's hitting me with a very tiny but very real bat.