words in movies
Rachel: Hey, you guys! Guess what? Barry and Mindy are getting a divorce!
Joey: (To Ross) What is the matter with you?!
Joey: Ohh-oh, wasnt he cheating on you with her?
Rachel: Well, apparently she caught him cheating on her with someone else. Isnt that sad? (Giggles.) God, could you imagine if I actually married him?! I mean how different would my life be?
Ross: I know what you mean, Ive always wondered how different my life would be if-if Id never gotten divorced.
Chandler: Maybe the problem was you were pronouncing it kara-tay.
Monica: And what if I was still fat? (To Chandler) Well, you wouldnt be dating me, thats for sure.
Chandler: What, you guys really think that Im that shallow?
Rachel: Well why didnt you take the job?
Phoebe: Because at that time you see, I thought everything that rhymed was true. So I thought yknow that if Id work with stocks, Id have to live in a box, and only eat lox, and have a pet fox.
Ross: Hey, do you guys think that if all those things happened, wed still hang out?
Rachel: Wow! How are you?!
Ross: Oh really, really great! Yeah! A-actually shes right down the street, umm, do-do you know what? You should stop bye and say hi.
Rachel: Oh wait, dont you have to pay for your, (looks at his magazine) Busty Ladies?
Rachel: But! Dont you have to give him his money back?
Ross: Uh-huh. (Steps to a random kid nearby and hands him his money.) Hey, here you go buddy. Sorry, no porn for you. (To Rachel) Okay, lets go see Monica!
Joey: Hey man, look sorry about that Archie thing. Do uh, do you need me to give you some money?
Monica: Maybe Joey doesnt have to give you the money, TV stars have assistants right?
Joey: Thats an idea! (To Chandler) Hey, if I hired an assistant, would-would you take money from her?
Phoebe: Ohh thats so sweet! (Her cell phone rings.) Oh! Hang on! (Quickly grabs a cigarette and starts to light it as her phone rings.) Hang onnnnnn!!! (Gets the cigarette lighted and answers the phone.) (On phone.) Go!! No! No-no! I said sell when it hits 50! 5-0, its a number! It comes after 4-9!! No, its okay. Its okay, youre allowed one mistake. Just kidding, you are of course fired.
Monica: (gets up and gasps) Oh my God! Rachel!! (Rachel is stunned to see that her long lost friend is still fat.) (Monica goes over and gives Rachel a big bear hug, which is quite easy for her.) You look terrific!
Rachel: Ohh, so do you! Did you lose weight? (Shes not quite sure of that one.)
Monica: You are so sweet to notice! Yes, I lost three and a half pounds!
Ross: (answering it) 1987, the day after Christmas, at Sean McMahons party. I played you one of my songs, yknow Interplanetary Courtship Ritual.
Rachel: Oh yeah. Right. So now, aredo you, do you still do music?
Ross: Sometimes, you should come over (Joey returns from the bathroom) sometime! Ill play you one of my other
Rachel: (stunned) You are friends with Dr. Drake Remoray?
Rachel: (still not quite able to look at him) Hi! I love you on that show! I watch you everyday! I mean, when you took out your own kidney to save your ex-wife even though she tired to kill you
Joey: (To Rachel) So uh, how you doin?
Phoebe: Hang on! Hang on! Hang on! (Answering the phone.) Go!! Whos this? (Listens) Oh okay, youre gonna like working for me. Whats your name? (Listens) What kind of name is Brendy? I Whatever Stop talking! All right, from now on your name is Joan. You can pick your own last name.
Joey: (entering) Hey there you are!
Joey: All right, heres a list of things for you to do today. Man, this going to be so great! Thank you so much! All right, I got to go to work Im delivering twins today, but only one of them is mine! (Exits.)
Monica: (laughs) You realize what you are dont you?
Monica: Youre his bitch.
Monica: (panicked) Oh wait! You didnt just sit on my Kit-Kats did you?!!
Chandler: Phoebe, are you having a heart attack?!
Monica: Honey, having a heart attack is natures way of telling you to slow it down.
Chandler: I always thought having a heart attack was natures way of telling you to die! (Phoebe glares at him.) But youre not gonna die. I mean, you are going to die, but youre not gonna die today. I wish I was dead.
Monica: Lets take a walk. (They start to leave.) Yknow maybe you should consider writing for Talking Out of Your Ass magazine! (They exit.)
Phoebe: (To Ross) So whats going on with you?
Phoebe: How long has it been since you had sex?
Phoebe: Maybe you need to spice things up a little.
Ross: What-what do you mean?
Phoebe: I dont know. You could tie her up, she could tie you up; you could eat stuff off each other
Phoebe: Roll playing You could be the warden; she could be the prisoner. You could be the pirate; she could be the wench!
Phoebe: Yeah! Or too, you could be two stockbrokers and youre-youre-youre rolling around naked on the trading floor and everybodys watching! (Ross looks at her.) It never happened.
Joey: All righty, what do you say we head back to my place?
Joey: Okay, you watch too much TV.
Chandler: (approaching) Here you go Joe, heres the freshly squeezed orange juice you asked for. (Hands it to him.)
Chandler: Okay, anything for you sir?
Rachel: (mouthing it to him) Yes, you did.
Joey: (To Chandler) Okay look, Chandler, if this (Motions back and forth indicating the arrangement.) you have got to listen! (Tugs on his ear.) (Chandler glares at him.) Youre gonna throw that juice at me, arent ya?
Ross: So honey, this morning was fun, huh? Me hopping in on you in the shower there.
Carol: What do you mean?
Ross: Hey there little fella! Hey, uh-hey, why dont we get some shoes on ya, huh? Hey, why dont you show dad how you can put your shoes on, in your room! Yay!!
Monica: Oh my God! Thats great! Oh wow! (Hugs him.) Youre a published writer! I wish I had a present for you!
Chandler: You wanna share it?
Joey: (entering) Hey! Hey Chandler look, I know youre mad, but I just want to say Im sorry. I-I was a total jerk. Completely o-over the line. Uh, I just I hate pulp! Yknow? I mean, yknow how Monica feels about low fat mayonnaise?
Joey: Fresh squeezed orange juice, with pulp! Just the way you like it.
Chandler: Oh you wouldnt uh, care. Its just a stupid comic book story.
Joey: Are you kidding me?! I love Archie! And the whole gang!
Monica: Well, yknow its none of my business, but arent you married?
Monica: Well, youre not.
Rachel: Oh, its so easy for you I mean, youre not married, you get to have sex with who ever you want!
Monica: Yeah I can! (Laughs) And dont think I dont, because I do! I mean all the time, you betcha! (Laughs.)
Rachel: Monica. Youve, youve done it right?
Monica: (giggles) Of course I have! What do you think, Im some 30 year old virgin?
Rachel: Oh my God! Youre a 30 year old virgin!
Monica: Say it louder, I dont think the guy all the way in the back heard you!
Rachel: Oh my God!! Do it!! Honey, youve waited long enough!!
Monica: Yknow what? You are right?!
Monica: Rachel! Im never gonna think its okay for you to cheat on your husband!
Rachel: Oh what do you know? Virgin!
Phoebe: Okay! Okay! (Puts it out and comes out of the bathroom.) Im so glad youre here.
Ross: J-j-just relax, nobody yelled. Jack just was calling to make sure that you were getting better.
Nurse: Youve done all you can Dr. Wesley. You have got to let her go.
Dr. Drake Remoray: Thats right Wesley! I just stopped by to say that, youre not a real doctor! And that womans brain, is fine!
Dr. Drake Remoray: Youre not dying Hope, youre gonna live a long, healthy life. With me.
Ross: So honey this uh, this threesome thing umm, I mean how-how are you gonna start to find
Monica: (handing her a cup) Here you go sweetie.
Phoebe: What are you two girls whispering about over there?!
Ross: Hey Pheebs, maybe this whole heart attack thing is a sign, that-that you should start think about getting a different job.
Monica: Well, you used to like playing the guitar.
Chandler: Uh, what about yknow the massage thing? That never gave you a heart attack.
Joey: I know. (Joey is sitting in this tall chair that is made up of balls on polls. Youll have to see it to know what I mean.) Yeah, his name is Pat.
Joey: (climbing down from his chair) Do you uh, do youready for a refill?
Joey: Pretty cool, huh? But if youre thinking you can put a fish in there and it wouldnt get sucked up into the mechanism, well youd be wrong.
Monica: I hope youre hungry, were starting with oysters. And yknow what they say about oysters, dont you?
Ross: Yknow, if, if this is too weird for you, we can still back out at (A knock on the door interrupts him.)
Carol: (opening the door) Susan! Hi! (Whod you think it was gonna be?)
Carol: Thank you so much for coming.
Susan: (not taking her eyes off Carol) Hello Ross. (Takes off her coat and hands it to him.) I love what youve done with this space.
Carol: Thank you so much.
Chandler: Im sorry youre here with me instead of Roger.
Monica: You dont want to know what tonight was.
Chandler: Well good, good for you. You really think that Roger is the perfect guy?
Chandler: No you are not! You are sweet and wonderful and this is gonna happen for you.
Monica: Oh really? When? Do you wanna do it with me?
Rachel: Joey, youre such an amazing actor! (He smiles.) How do you know where Dr. Drake Remoray leaves off and Joey Tribbiani begins?
Joey: Yeah you did.
Joey: Here you go. Let me ask you a question.
Joey: When was the last time someone told you just how beautiful you are?
Chandler: Yeah! (Takes it.) If-if-if we did do this there would be a lot of pressure on me, yknow? Because youve been waiting a very long time and I wouldnt want to disappoint you.
Monica: Yeah but see I have nothing to compare it too. So even if youre horrible, how would I know?
Monica: Umm, do you have any uhh, moves?
Monica: I know! Ill tell you something, we are gonna do that again!
Joey: Well he actually saw you a little bit too.
Joey: Rachel, would you stop saying that?! Hey-hey look, remember on the show when-when Caprice was dying and she gave me
Rachel: (seeing the ring and gasping) Oh my God, they let you keep that stuff?!
Joey: Sure! As long as they dont find out you can keep whatever you want! And I want you to have it.
Joey: Yes! Yes!! And every time you look at it, I want you to remember that you are a good person. Okay, youve had the chance to cheat, and with me, but you didnt. And thats what this ring stands for.
Joey: Look, do you want the ring or not?!
Ross: Look at you! Youre up!
Phoebe: I thought Id try to take a walk. Would you pour me some water? Ill be back soon.
Joey: Whoa-whoa-whoa! Youre not gonna use the pay phone to call work, are ya?
Ross: Hey Joe did Did you ever have a threesome?
Joey: (not quite sure of how to answer that) Well uh, look Ross I uh, I think Carols great and Im sure youre a very attractive man, but I .
Joey: You?
Joey: Just okayDid you do it right?!
Ross: Look, its just did, did you ever go to a party and think, "Would really anyone miss me if I werent here?"
Joey: Huh. But still Ross, youre worst day with two women, pretty much better than any other day! Yknow what I mean?
Joey: But you got to be with both of them, right?
Joey: Yeah, you dont want that.
Joey: Well hey, at least you got to see a lot of stuff, right?
Joey: You got a little bored?
Chandler: Let me tell you about this chick I scored with last night! Oh no wait a minute that was you!
Chandler: So you uh, want to do something tonight?
Chandler: Oh. Oh right! Right! Because youre still seeing him and uh, hes a good guy. I mean, I remember a time when (He fakes falling asleep.)
Monica: Are you okay?
Chandler: Yeah! Totally! Totally, and you?
Monica: Great! Its so amazing! I mean, last time Dr. Roger came over, I was so nervous, but then after being with you Im all like, "Can the doctor see me now?"
Monica: Yknow, I dont have an appointment, but I sure could use a physical. (He laughs halfheartedly) Are you sure youre okay?
Barry: You-you-you said you were gonna be away all weekend!
Arthur: (To another coworker) Call security. (To Phoebe) Pheebs, didnt you get fired?
Jack: What are you doing here?
Jack: Well, you were fired.
Phoebe: Youre in my office! Look, I have made a lot of cash for this company! Okay? I am talking big bucks! Pesos! Yen! Rubles! You make one little mistake
Jack: You lost 13 million dollars.
Phoebe: Oh, so this is all about money! Yknow its bad enough thatOw! Oh, you have got to be kidding!
Jack: Are you all right?
Rachel: Well, if you see him, will you please tell him that Im looking for him and that this I am not gonna throw up!
Ross: That-thats always good news. Are you okay?
Rachel: Me? Im great! Im fine! Im sooo good!! But, you know whos not great?! Men! Youre a man right Ross?!
Rachel: Let me uh, let me ask you something, do wedding vows mean squat to you people?! And why is it that the second we tell you were going out of town, bamn there you are in bed with the neighbors dog walker?!
Ross: Didnt you spend last night at Joeys?
Rachel: Aw what are you?! A detective?
Ross: Look I-I dont know whats going on with you and your husband and what is hopefully an adult dog walker, look can I just say not all men are like that.
Rachel: Well, you might want to tell him it sounds like his wife is (whispers) gay.
Ross: Im sorry your husband cheated on you.
Monica: Yeah, come on, eat, whatever you want. Dr. Roger got beeped again.
Monica: Why would you do that?
Chandler: Because you shouldnt be with him. (Pause.) You should be with me.
Chandler: Yeah! When you were talking about Roger, that was killing me! Look, things like last night they dont just happen. Yknow? Or at least not to me. Or with the other two women, in the morning yknow I was just lying there and I couldnt wait to just go hang out with my friends, but with you I always yknow with a friend.
Chandler: I know you probably dont want to go out with me, yknow because I make too many jokes and Ive never been in a serious relationship and I guess Im not technically a "doctor "
It only takes two heart attacks to finally make you see One of them wont do it, but the second one will set you free Tell all your hate and anger, its time to say good-bye And that is just what I will do, soon as those bastards I work for die! La, la-la-la, la-la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
Ticket Agent: Well you can split it with another credit card.
JOEY: When I was little, I wanted to be a veteranarian, but then I found out you had to put your hands into cows and stuff.
Chandler: We've been driving for a half-hour, and you haven't looked at the road once.
Gunther: (In his head) Say Rachel, I was wondering if youd like to go to a movie with me sometime. As my lover! Nnnsch, to out there. Maybe youd just like to ah, get something to eat with me sometime? As my lover.
Rachel: Late thirties? Oh come on you guys! Is it just me? Am I overreacting to this?
Rachel: Thats-thats great! See? I already feel like I know you a little better! Thank you. Okay, come on. Now we can go eat. Lets go. (Gets up to leave, but Paul doesnt move.)
Ross: (to Rachel): OK, I am calling your seventeen. What do you got?
Ross: Wait a minute, I know why I'm being such an ass, why are you?
Monica: No. I can't be away from you for that long.
Ross: Why are you laughing?
Joey: It's like if you woke up one day and found out your dad was leading this double life. He's like actually some spy, working for the C.I.A. (Considers) That'd be cool.... This blows!
Joey: Oh hey come on, dont-dont-dont do this! Umm, look let-let me tell you something, okay? Now when I watch you do a scene, Im thinking, "Boy, she-she is a great actress!" (Shes not buying it.) Uh but-but, I am also thinking, "She is hot!"
MONICA: Huuh, alright, Danny Arshak, ninth grade. Oh, c'mon Rach, you know the bottle was totally pointing at me.
Zack: (looking very puzzled) Okaaay... so eh... so tell me, how did you guys meet.
LITTLE BULLY: Well then here's the deal, you won't have to so long as never ever show your faces in this coffee house ever again.
Monica: Do you know anything about women?
Chandler: So, the fact that I am a doctor, and my wife’s a reverend, that’s important to you?
Phoebe: Well, like acoustic folksy stuff. You know? But right now I'm working on a couple 'Iron Maiden' covers.
Nurse: Okay. Have you started having contractions?
Chandler: (interrupting) All right, hold on! If you win, we give up the birds.
Joey: I did not know that! Thank you Monica. (Starts to leave) I can't believe I almost lost another girl because of counting.
Mr. Geller: (entering) How are you honey?
CHANDLER: Wow, Heckles was voted class clown, and so was I. He was right. Would you listen to that?
Chandler: You can say that because she's not your mom.
Monica: Oh thats a great idea. Youre really good on the phone.
Rachel: (to the cowgirl) And you are so in style right now. Yknow, I work at Ralph Lauren and the whole fall line has got this like equestrian theme going on. I dont suppose you saw the cover of British Vogue, but
Rachel: (to Chandler) You, you, you said he liked me. (Ross and Julie enter) You, you slowpokes!
Rachel: Well y'know if you, if you started smoking again you could've at least told me! Come on, give me one of those! What are we talking about?
Monica: Are you okay? Youve been acting weird all afternoon.
Phoebe: Well umm, do you wanna get something to eat? Im kinda hungry.
Ross: No, not you. (Emily gets it.)
JOEY: Alright look, that's it. I don't think we should see each other anymore, alright. Look, I know I should have told you this a long time ago but I am not Drake Remore, OK. I'm not even a doctor, I'm an actor. I just pretend to be a doctor.
Joey: (sitting up again) Guys! Guys!! You gotta let me nap! Ugh, Im gonna get cranky!
Monica: I love you. (They kiss.)
Joey: Come on man, youre not a potato.
Rachel: Wait a minute! Wait a minute! I'm not saying that you shouldnt have a bag, I justit's just there are other bags that are a little less umm, (Pause) controversial.
Monica: Wait a minute, just because he paid for your head shots youre gonna take him? Joey, I dont think youre comprehending just how slutty this dress is!
Rachel: No, it's okay, you didn't know.
Jay Leno: (on TV) Y'know, don't take this wrong, I-I just don't see you a-as a mom, somehow.. I don't mean that, I don't mean that bad...
Chandler: (blocks the door) No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no!!! You can't come in here! R-r-r-r-Ross is naked.
Chandler: All right, but you cant use that again for a whole year. Im in.
Joey: You don't think this is going to be a big break for me?
Rachel: No! Forget it! I am not gonna ask Frank to give you one of his kids!!
Joey: You mean how they're friends and nothing more? (Glares at Rachel.)
Monica: (To Phoebe) How are you doing?
Monica: Oh. Thank you. Ohhh, thank you very much. Oh, thank you for coming. (Theres a knock on the door.) Uh, just a second!
Phoebe: (To Rachel) So did you ask him?
Phoebe: Bye Chandler! (She walks up to him.) (Quietly.) I miss you already. (She pinches his butt.)
Chandler: I just think that things would go a lot smoother if we each have our own zone. Phoebe, you can be in charge of wiping. And yknow Mon, you can be in charge of diapering and I can be in charge of looking how cute they are when they put their hands around (He degrades into baby talk, but he means when they grab his finger.)
Mac: Well, I couldnt have done it without you buddy. Youre a genius.
Rachel: Ooh, Pheebs, what are you gonna say? Are you gonna tell him who you are?
Dan: Nice to meet you.
Monica: Well, I don't know... I-It's... just the way you say it... I mean, you're funny... You have that funny thing. You're a funny guy! (Chandler turns to Joey)
Paul: Okay. Ill give you one chance to change my mind. (Ross laughs in relief) You got one minute. (Ross suddenly gets worried.)
Rachel: No! God, would you just calm down!
Monica: Oh my God, are you out of a job?
MACHINE: Here comes the beep, you know what to do.
Rachel: (makes some unintelligible sound to stop her from leaving) Obviously you know how to haggle, so I'm not gonna try and take you on. Okay? So $800 and I don't call the cops because you're robbing me blind! Blind! (Covers her eyes) Just take cat, leave the money, and run away! Run away! (Uncovers her eyes and sees that the woman has fled) Damnit! (To the cat) Cat, can't you at least smile or something?! (The cat hisses at her again, it sounds like Rachel) Okay, did anybody just hear that? Anybody?
Ross: You did it, man.
Monica: Hey! What did you decide to do about the movie?
Phoebe: Ross, how about you. What would you give up, sex or food?
Janice: We got the proofs back from that photo shoot, you know, the one with the little vegetables. Anyway, they pretty much sucked, so, I blew off the rest of the day, and I went shopping...(looks through her bags)... and I got you, I'm looking, I'm looking, I'm looking, I got you...
Dan: So, I'll call you tomorrow.
Joey: Oh no-no-no-no, she wants to talk to you!
Phoebe: Which one do you have?
Ross: I cant ask people to do that? Would you ask people to do that? (Holds out his pants)
Monica: Well, can't you just have the party when we get back?
Chandler: All right. I'll tell you what. When we're 40, if neither one of us are married, what do you say you and I get together and have one?
Ross: You really serve people sneezers?
Chandler: Look, I just wanted to apologize for last night. I got the feeling we made you a little uncomfortable.
Monica: Yes! Maybe its a false positive. Are you sure you peed on the stick right?
Ross: (on phone) Uh, hello dad! Monica and I just saw the house in the paper! (Listens) Yes were surprised! (Listens) Who did you leave a message with?
Mrs. Geller: (holding two pies) Monica, why don't you finish off these pies? I don't have any more room left in the fridge.
Chandler: Okay, worst case scenario. Say you never feel like a father.
INTERVIEWER: Now, I want you to tell me what you're doing while you're doing it.
Phoebe: No, not Phoebe, Dr. Philange. Oh no! You have it too!
Monica: Yeah, but I love you more. Besides yknow, nothing goes with Bing. So Im screwed. I mean (Rachel hands Emma to Monica.) Oh, hi Emma. Yeah, thats you. Youre our little Em. Oh whats that honey? What? Oh, you want a little cousin? (To Chandler) You want a cousin right now?!
Danny: I'd love to ask you in, but uh, my sister's visiting and I think she's asleep on the couch.
Sleepy girl, sleepy girl. Why won't you go to sleep? Sleepy girl, sleepy girl. You're, you're, you're keeping me uppp! (Yeah, that's to the tune of Smelly Cat.)
Phoebe: What are you, what are you talking about? How did this happen?
Joey: Maybe, I should call this place and get them to put my 'Days of Our Lives' on here. You know, juice this puppy up a little.
MNCA: Do you not see it?
Chandler: You have to really wanna see it.
Phoebe: Okay, so The Plaza! Okay, well get us some Mai Thais, (To Chandler) maybe no more for you though.
Phoebe: What-what are you talking about?!
Ross: Pheebs, youre talking about putting your body through an awful lot, I mean morning sickness, uhh, labour, and its all for somebody else!
Phoebe: Yeah, it's Y'know there'sno you may not!
Fat Monica: No. No, thank you!
Joey: No, no, I didnt mean you. But, you believed me, huh?
Chandler: So you might say, its a magic ring.
Phoebe: Hey Joey, yknow what? You are way to good for her.
Rachel: So Chandler, have you heard about Monica's secret boyfriend?
Monica: Youre supposed to double the tax. Not double the tax of Romania. I mean, whats-whats the deal? Are you, are you trying to buy me? Is this the way you get girls to go out with you?
Ross: Uh, so this play umm, what do you think? Its-its gotten great reviews! Yknow the uh
MRS. GELLER: Well, you kids thank Dr. Burke for the ride?
RACHEL: I did not sell you out.
Rachel: I dont care! All right, yknow what Im just upset that Im getting nowhere with Joshua thatyknow what still, you do not meet someone and go flitting off to Vermont!
Rachel: I can make you a legend. I can make you this generations Milton Berle.
JOEY: Phoebs look, if you want to know what the deal is, you're just gonna have to ask him.
Monica: What?! You can'twhat did you tell her?