words in movies
Joey: Im sorry, do I know you?
Phoebe: What are you doing?
Joey: Nothing, Im just practicing blowing you off because Im gonna be a big movie star!
Phoebe: Oh! You got it?!
Estelle: Joey! Its Estelle! I just talked to the casting people; they loved you!
Estelle: Yeah, they wanna see you again tomorrow.
Estelle: Theres just one thing. Do you have a problem with full frontal nudity?
Joey: Are you kidding me? I never rent a movie without it! (Listens) Oh. (Listens) Uh, okay uh let me call you back. (Hangs up.)
Phoebe: Hey the wedding is so close! Are you getting nervous?
Monica: Hey Phoebe, will you give me a hand?
Ross: So what! I still haveNo youre probably right.
Rachel: Hey Pheebs, can I talk to you over here for a second?
Monica: I know youre planning my surprise bridal shower.
Monica: Hey! What did you decide to do about the movie?
Monica: Thats what you say about porn.
Joey: Youre right. Maybe I shouldnt even go on the call back.
Monica: No! No you should! A lot of major actors do nude scenes! I mean the chance to star in a movie? Come on!
Rachel: (calmly) Okay. Im sorry. Youre right, youre right.
Rachel: Ah you went one too far. Uh, flowers or balloons?
Chandler: Technically we could have sex again. What do you think, bossy and domineering?!
(Cassie enters from the guest room, with her hair up. The extremely beautiful and sexy Denise Richards is playing Cassie. Woo hoo! For those of you who dont know who she is, rent Wild Things and she was also the last Bond girl in The World Is Not Enough.)
Cassie: I thought I heard voices. You must be Chandler.
Chandler: (transfixed) Hi! Nice to meet you!
Cassie: Nice to meet you too.
Monica: So, are you ready to go?
Chandler: Ill be right with you.
Monica: You were staring about eight inches south of there.
The Casting Director: Actually, I tried to call to you. You didnt need to come down here today.
The Casting Director: Wait Joey! You didnt need to come down because the director saw your tape from yesterday and loved it.
The Casting Director: Well, the director thinks youre really right for the part and wants to meet you tomorrow.
The Casting Director: Oh and your agent said you were okay with the nudity.
The Casting Director: So uh well the director is insisting that whoever play that part be authentically, anatomically not Jewish. Do you know what Im saying?
Monica: So to get this part you cant be?
Monica: But you are?
Monica: But you told them you werent?
Monica: Wow! Wow! And its definitely all gone? Theres nothing there to work with? (Joey glares at her.) What were you thinking?
Joey: I dont know! I really want this part! And they tell you no matter what you get asked at an audition you say yes. Like if-if they want you to ride a horse, you tell em you can! And just figure out how to do it later.
Monica: Oh my God, what are you gonna do?!
Rachel: Okay. Okay. All right, you take care of that. And meanwhile, the party is tomorrow and we still dont have a guest list.
Phoebe: Okay. Okay! Well okay, who do we know thats coming? Me. Are you?
Monica: Well uh, Im trying to make something for Joey. Do you mind if I raid your fridge?
Rachel: Are you makin him a sandwich?
Monica: I guess you can get back to deciding on what to get me for a present! (Runs out.)
Rachel: Oh my God youre amazing! Did you just pull that out of her purse?
Cassie: (hugs him) Its been so long! Last time I saw you, you were setting up your tent in line to see Return of the Jedi.
Ross: Oh. Oh, thats right. So-so you did see me that day because it seemed like you didnt.
Cassie: Oh my God! You do a great Chandler!
Cassie: Well, maybe after we get reacquainted uh, you can do me.
Ross: Cassie, how you-how you doin on that hot dog.
Ross: Oh right. Right. Ooh, remember the time I uh, I pinned you down and tickled you til you cried? (She laughs) Were probably too old to do that now.
Cassie: It took you that long to figure it out, huh?
Phoebe: How are you? (The woman nods) Good. (She goes over to another couple of women.) Hi, thanks for coming.
Woman: Oh thank you.
Phoebe: Thank you. (To the other woman) No? (She nods.) All right. (She goes to another pairing.) Oh, its so nice to see you.
Rachel: (to her) Hi! Im Rachel. This is Phoebe. Im the maid of honor. How do you know Monica?
Rachel: (to the woman) Excuse us for a minute. (They go into the kitchen.) You didnt tell her to come?!
Phoebe: You were supposed to tell her!
Rachel: No I wasnt! You were supposed to tell her to come and I was supposed to bring the cake!
Monica: Okay, we have a lot of options here, a number of prototypes for you to try on.
Monica: Okay? (To a different group) Over here we have pink suede, which is nice. But umm, if it gets wet then you know its gonna shrink.
Monica: I also, did a little something in fur. But umm, thats really just for me. (Rubs it against her cheek.) Okay. So, why dont you go into your room and try these on and well seeget a better idea of whats gonna work.
Joey: Thanks, you are such a good friend. And this is so weird.
Monica: What are you trying on now?
Ross: (in his head) Shes your cousin. Shes your cousin! If she knew what was going on in your head shed think you were sick! (She grabs some popcorn.) Or would she? Lets back up a second. She was the one who suggested opening a bottle of wine. She was the one who turned down the lights. She was the one that wanted to rent Logans Run, the sexiest movie ever. (She grabs the blanket from behind him and looks at him.) Oh, I know that look. Forget it. I want it. She wants it. Im going in.
Cassie: Hey! What the hell are you doing?! (They sit back up.)
Ross: (in his head) Say something clever! (Pause.) Okay, doesnt have to be clever, it just has to be words. Say some words. (Pause) Any words will do. (Pause) Oh my God! This is the longest that anyone has not talked ever! (Pause) There is nothing you can say to make this worse!! So just say something!! (Pause.) (To her) I-I, I uh havent had sex in a very long time. (She leaves.) (In his head) Yeah, you really shouldnt have said anything.
Monica: Phoebe! Rachel! Its Monica! I wonder what you could possibly need me for on such short notice! (She bursts into the apartment to find only Phoebe and Rachel sitting on the couch.) Oh.
Rachel: Well first, for forgetting to throw you a bridal shower.
Phoebe: And then for forgetting to invite you to it.
Monica: You al-you already had it?
Phoebe: Yeah. Well, we called everyone in your phone book and bunch of people came, but it took us so long to get you here that they-they had to leave.
Rachel: Yeah, we wanted to throw you a big surprise and a great shower, and now you dont have either.
Rachel: What do you, what do you mean?
Joey: Oh! Hey right! Not a problem. (He starts taking off his clothes.) I totally understand. You need to yknow make sure I dont have any horrible scars or tattoos. Dont you worry; I have nothing to hide. (He drops his pants and stands back up and looks down.) So there you go, thats me. (We cut to a camera angle looking at the casting director and movie director through Joeys legs.) One hundred percent natural! (Suddenly, theres a thud as something falls off.) (Everyone is shocked.) I tell ya, that has never happened before.
Phoebe: Cassie, are you finding everything okay in there?
Cassie: Yeah! Thank you so much for letting me stay here.
Phoebe: Oh! No problem! I (Cassie emerges from the bathroom and we once again visit slow motion Barry White background music land with the sexy hair-flipping thing going on, only this time Phoebe is entranced. For more information on Denise Richards you can visit your local library or look her up on the Internet at her official website at www.deniserichards.com.)
RACHEL: Oh yeah, I don't care how much she tells you she wants it, I don't care if begs, she pleads, she tells you she, she's gonna have sex with, with another man. That just means it's working.
Monica: Sit down. All right? Please, just listen to me. You are terrible at this! Okay? You are the worst ultimate fighter ever! Ever!!
Chandler: Are we gonna talk about what you guys did last night? Or
Lorraine: You know, ever since I was little, I've been able to pick up quarters with my toes.
Ross: (to Carol) Where the hell have you been?
Joey: Hey, you know what naked card game is never boring?
Cecilia: And if it were true, how dare you come to me ask me for tips about a character that Ive been playing for 20 yearsIll give you a tip! (She throws her drink in his face.)
Rachel: So what are you guys going to do?
CHANDLER: Hey, no, I've never been lower or wetter. I'll be fine. I'll just turn your, uh, bedroom into a game room or somethin', you know, put the foosball table in there.
Joey: No ... the leather sticks to my ass. You know, this isn't fair. What makes you think that I'm just gonna sleep with her and then blow her off? Huh? Can't you guys open your minds to the possibility that I actally like her, and might want something real? (pause) Look, the truth is, I haven't felt this way about anyone since Rachel, ok? I didn't think I could ever love again.
Phoebe: Well okay, let this be a lesson to all of you, all right. Once you, once you betray me, I become like the ice woman, yknow. Very cold, hard, unyielding, y'know nothing, nothing can penetrate this icy exterior. (to Monica) Can I have a tissue, please?
Chandler: When was the last time you saw her wear it?
Rachel: Ohh no you dont! You got lighting last time, lighting is mine!
Chandler: Well, listen I ah, still have one more person to ah meet, but unless it turns out to be your sister, I think youre chances are pretty good. (Eric offers to shake hands) All right. (Chandler hugs him.)
Phoebe: Oh, I love you guys too, but Mike got off work early. Wait. Wait, I�m not t�not that kind of girl that just ditches her friends to be with her boyfriend. You know what? I am. Bye guys! (waves to the bar) Judy! Bye.
Ross: It's all working out! Me & Charlie, and you two. You know what we should do?
Rachel: Oh, please, I don't care about you enough to bug me. In fact, from now on, I'm going take the high road. And I'm going be very very nice to you, you "momma's boy", starting right now.
Joey: What are you talking about? Lots of things rhyme with Rachel. Bagel. Mail. Jail. Bail. Able. May-pole.
Phoebe: Well, I mean, Im not my sisters, you know, whatever, and um... I mean, its true, we were one egg, once, but err, you know, weve grown apart, so, um... I dont know, why not? Okay.
JOEY: Hey, are you cool with this. I mean, I don't want to leave you high and dry.
Joey: You dont have to worry about that okay?
Mike: Oh, no! I don't think so! You know, according to standard table tennis rules if at any time a player uses his non racket bearing hand to touch the playing surface he or she forfeits the point.
Gunther: You can't.
Joey: Thanks. Do you get a lot of guys in here?
Joey: Nooooo!!! Y'know what? Now that I think about it, I constantly find myself without twenties and you always have lots!
Ross: There is no way I am letting you drive this car! So why dont you just hand over the keys?
Rachel: Wow, Ikea... what a rich culture. Uhm, you know what? I have a friend who is a masseuse.
Rachel: Oh! Oh, I think Im gonna throw up a little bit. What did you say?
Mike: You're right. She probably will support me. Hey, unless we move in with you, dad?
Emeril: (on TV.) Now maybe you just like wanna but the whole duck in there! Who cares, y'know? Now I got the legs
Joey: Whoa! Hey! Whoa!! Hold up! Are you serious?! So like 3% of the time they dont even work?! Huh? They should put that on the box!
Rachel: You guys! You guys!
Ross: What, you didnt get it? The doctor is a monkey.
Phoebe: Ohhh, I wanna come over there and give you a hug and wish you luck on your wedding, but I dontcant get up.
Rachel: All right, now dont judge me. I normally wait until my date leaves, but you live here. Im ripping into this swan.
Chandler: Ok, I don't care what you guys say, something's bothering her.
Joey: Yeah, you fogged Danny.
Monica: I'm sorry, I'll give it back to you.
Ross: Excellent! How do you put a baby down for a nap?
Kathy: Wow! You are really good at this.
Monica: I totally forgive you!
Ross: Of course it is. Yeah, come on in. Ooh-ooh, go by the window you can pretend to be surfing. (He pretends he's surfing by the window.)
Joey: Well uh, I went down there and told him that no one treats my friends like that and that hed better come up here and apologize. Ill see you later. (Starts to leave)
Monica: Listen...I need to know that what I'm about to ask you, will never get back to Chandler.
Monica: I drew you a bath!
Rachel: Yeah. No. And you know what? Nobody even saw!
Ross: (to Emily) Hey, could you do me a favour? Could you just grab me a bottle of water?
Rachel: I guess you werent there. (They hug.)
RACH: Oh, I know, I'm sorry you guys. You're just gonna have to get used to the fact that I will not be dating Ross.
JOEY: You partied with Hootie and the Blowfish?
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Right, well look, um, if Joey loses this audition, that is it for Estelle. I don't care! Annie you are a doll, what time can you see him?' (to Monica) I need a pen. (Chandler hands her one, but she needs something to right on, so she tilts Chandler's head over and writes on the back of his neck)
Rachel: Come on Ross! Im miserable here! Come on! You started this, now you finish it! Come on wuss, make love to me.
Phoebe: Oh, Im sorry. I didnt hear you over all the winning.
Chandler: Can you believe it? I mean, don't I seem like somebody who should be doing something really cool? You know, I just always pictured myself doing something...something.
SUSIE: I'm Susie Moss. Fourth grade, glasses, I used to carry around a box of animal crackers like a purse. CHANDLER: Susie Moss, right, yeah, wow, you look. . . great job growing up.
Rachel: No!! You are getting married! This is all I have.
Phoebe: You dont know him. Its not important. He wants nothing to do with me or the baby. (She sits down like shes pregnant.)
Danny: Do you?
Ross: Space is filled with orbiting children. (pause) Look, please, just come on, you know, when you’ll see the look on Emma’s face, I swear you won’t regret it.
MONICA: Hey, have you guys eaten, because uh, Richard and I just finished and we've got leftovers... Chicken and potatoes... What am I wearing?...Actually, nothing but rubber gloves.
Ross: Okay, (to Chandler) this play, I want you to do a down and out to the right. Okay. Break!
Joey: (Shouting after him) Chandler, I didn't kiss her, he did! (To Ross) See what happens when you break the code?
Chandler: Rachel, I love you! Deal with me first! (she leaves)
Phoebe: Are you still mad at us?
Monica: Whatever you decide, whatever you do.
Joey: Look, we were way out of line, we totally support you.
Ross: You do, huh?
Felicity: Umm, I thought about you all day.
Phoebe: Mon, can I talk to you for a sec?
Rachel: Oh God Monica hi! I just went to your building and you weren't there and then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here and you are, you are!
Ross: No, thats, no, as long as youre okay. So Ill ah, Ill see you tomorrow.
Monica: (To Joey) Okay, did you hear that?
Ross: I like it, and Emily likes it, and thats what counts. So uh, how are you guys doing?
Dr. Rosen: Good for you.
Dr. Long: Shes gonna be fine. Okay, shes in a more difficult position so youre gonna have to push even harder now. Go! Push!
CHANDLER: Well, you want me to uh, clench anything, or-... Susie? Susie.
Chandler: Nope, nope, Id just ah, Id rather talk to you. (pause) Yes, I do. Yes, I do have to go to the bathroom. (knocks on the door)
Monica: Oh no! You and Phoebe are gonna help me in here.
Phoebe: Works on you.
Ross: You got it.
Chandler: Well maybe there is one thing you can do.
Ross: Its worth the pain. (She goes to hug him again.) Yknow what, you know what? Its not.
Chandler: so then the farmer says, "Thats not a cow and youre not milking it." (Everyone laughs.)
Joey: Youre smoking again?!
Ross: (to Rachel) I-Im sorry Rach, I didnt know. Are you gonna be okay?
Joey: Okay. Now this is just for tonight. Starting tomorrow, you gotta make a change. This has gone on long enough.
Rachel: Thank you. (She goes to take off her make-up and screams in pain) Oww!!!! God!
Chandler: Y'know, I forgot the combination to this about a year ago? I just carry it around. Do you have any Chap Stick?
Ross: No, no, no. Technically the... sex is not... being had, but that's... see, that's not the point. See, um, the point is that... Rachel and I should be, er, together. You know, and if you get in the.... um...
Monica: No, last time you said it like Dracula, and it scared her! Can I get you anything? You want some more ice chips?
Larry: You look beautiful this evening.
Chandler: What are you doing?
Monica: You are?
JOEY: Wow!� That didn't take long.� I thought you said Tulsa was, like a three hour flight.
RACHEL: How have you never been on Oprah?
Monica: Why don't you come over tonight? And I'll make you favorite dinner.
Chandler: How... exactly are you pursuing that? Y'know other than sending out resumes like what, two years ago?
Monica: Pheebes, you know what I'm thinking?
Phoebe: Well isnt he your friend? Dont you want him to be happy?
Ross: Uh, in her defense, shes right. I am stronger. I would destroy you.