words in movies
Joey: Im sorry, do I know you?
Phoebe: What are you doing?
Joey: Nothing, Im just practicing blowing you off because Im gonna be a big movie star!
Phoebe: Oh! You got it?!
Estelle: Joey! Its Estelle! I just talked to the casting people; they loved you!
Estelle: Yeah, they wanna see you again tomorrow.
Estelle: Theres just one thing. Do you have a problem with full frontal nudity?
Joey: Are you kidding me? I never rent a movie without it! (Listens) Oh. (Listens) Uh, okay uh let me call you back. (Hangs up.)
Phoebe: Hey the wedding is so close! Are you getting nervous?
Monica: Hey Phoebe, will you give me a hand?
Ross: So what! I still haveNo youre probably right.
Rachel: Hey Pheebs, can I talk to you over here for a second?
Monica: I know youre planning my surprise bridal shower.
Monica: Hey! What did you decide to do about the movie?
Monica: Thats what you say about porn.
Joey: Youre right. Maybe I shouldnt even go on the call back.
Monica: No! No you should! A lot of major actors do nude scenes! I mean the chance to star in a movie? Come on!
Rachel: (calmly) Okay. Im sorry. Youre right, youre right.
Rachel: Ah you went one too far. Uh, flowers or balloons?
Chandler: Technically we could have sex again. What do you think, bossy and domineering?!
(Cassie enters from the guest room, with her hair up. The extremely beautiful and sexy Denise Richards is playing Cassie. Woo hoo! For those of you who dont know who she is, rent Wild Things and she was also the last Bond girl in The World Is Not Enough.)
Cassie: I thought I heard voices. You must be Chandler.
Chandler: (transfixed) Hi! Nice to meet you!
Cassie: Nice to meet you too.
Monica: So, are you ready to go?
Chandler: Ill be right with you.
Monica: You were staring about eight inches south of there.
The Casting Director: Actually, I tried to call to you. You didnt need to come down here today.
The Casting Director: Wait Joey! You didnt need to come down because the director saw your tape from yesterday and loved it.
The Casting Director: Well, the director thinks youre really right for the part and wants to meet you tomorrow.
The Casting Director: Oh and your agent said you were okay with the nudity.
The Casting Director: So uh well the director is insisting that whoever play that part be authentically, anatomically not Jewish. Do you know what Im saying?
Monica: So to get this part you cant be?
Monica: But you are?
Monica: But you told them you werent?
Monica: Wow! Wow! And its definitely all gone? Theres nothing there to work with? (Joey glares at her.) What were you thinking?
Joey: I dont know! I really want this part! And they tell you no matter what you get asked at an audition you say yes. Like if-if they want you to ride a horse, you tell em you can! And just figure out how to do it later.
Monica: Oh my God, what are you gonna do?!
Rachel: Okay. Okay. All right, you take care of that. And meanwhile, the party is tomorrow and we still dont have a guest list.
Phoebe: Okay. Okay! Well okay, who do we know thats coming? Me. Are you?
Monica: Well uh, Im trying to make something for Joey. Do you mind if I raid your fridge?
Rachel: Are you makin him a sandwich?
Monica: I guess you can get back to deciding on what to get me for a present! (Runs out.)
Rachel: Oh my God youre amazing! Did you just pull that out of her purse?
Cassie: (hugs him) Its been so long! Last time I saw you, you were setting up your tent in line to see Return of the Jedi.
Ross: Oh. Oh, thats right. So-so you did see me that day because it seemed like you didnt.
Cassie: Oh my God! You do a great Chandler!
Cassie: Well, maybe after we get reacquainted uh, you can do me.
Ross: Cassie, how you-how you doin on that hot dog.
Ross: Oh right. Right. Ooh, remember the time I uh, I pinned you down and tickled you til you cried? (She laughs) Were probably too old to do that now.
Cassie: It took you that long to figure it out, huh?
Phoebe: How are you? (The woman nods) Good. (She goes over to another couple of women.) Hi, thanks for coming.
Woman: Oh thank you.
Phoebe: Thank you. (To the other woman) No? (She nods.) All right. (She goes to another pairing.) Oh, its so nice to see you.
Rachel: (to her) Hi! Im Rachel. This is Phoebe. Im the maid of honor. How do you know Monica?
Rachel: (to the woman) Excuse us for a minute. (They go into the kitchen.) You didnt tell her to come?!
Phoebe: You were supposed to tell her!
Rachel: No I wasnt! You were supposed to tell her to come and I was supposed to bring the cake!
Monica: Okay, we have a lot of options here, a number of prototypes for you to try on.
Monica: Okay? (To a different group) Over here we have pink suede, which is nice. But umm, if it gets wet then you know its gonna shrink.
Monica: I also, did a little something in fur. But umm, thats really just for me. (Rubs it against her cheek.) Okay. So, why dont you go into your room and try these on and well seeget a better idea of whats gonna work.
Joey: Thanks, you are such a good friend. And this is so weird.
Monica: What are you trying on now?
Ross: (in his head) Shes your cousin. Shes your cousin! If she knew what was going on in your head shed think you were sick! (She grabs some popcorn.) Or would she? Lets back up a second. She was the one who suggested opening a bottle of wine. She was the one who turned down the lights. She was the one that wanted to rent Logans Run, the sexiest movie ever. (She grabs the blanket from behind him and looks at him.) Oh, I know that look. Forget it. I want it. She wants it. Im going in.
Cassie: Hey! What the hell are you doing?! (They sit back up.)
Ross: (in his head) Say something clever! (Pause.) Okay, doesnt have to be clever, it just has to be words. Say some words. (Pause) Any words will do. (Pause) Oh my God! This is the longest that anyone has not talked ever! (Pause) There is nothing you can say to make this worse!! So just say something!! (Pause.) (To her) I-I, I uh havent had sex in a very long time. (She leaves.) (In his head) Yeah, you really shouldnt have said anything.
Monica: Phoebe! Rachel! Its Monica! I wonder what you could possibly need me for on such short notice! (She bursts into the apartment to find only Phoebe and Rachel sitting on the couch.) Oh.
Rachel: Well first, for forgetting to throw you a bridal shower.
Phoebe: And then for forgetting to invite you to it.
Monica: You al-you already had it?
Phoebe: Yeah. Well, we called everyone in your phone book and bunch of people came, but it took us so long to get you here that they-they had to leave.
Rachel: Yeah, we wanted to throw you a big surprise and a great shower, and now you dont have either.
Rachel: What do you, what do you mean?
Joey: Oh! Hey right! Not a problem. (He starts taking off his clothes.) I totally understand. You need to yknow make sure I dont have any horrible scars or tattoos. Dont you worry; I have nothing to hide. (He drops his pants and stands back up and looks down.) So there you go, thats me. (We cut to a camera angle looking at the casting director and movie director through Joeys legs.) One hundred percent natural! (Suddenly, theres a thud as something falls off.) (Everyone is shocked.) I tell ya, that has never happened before.
Phoebe: Cassie, are you finding everything okay in there?
Cassie: Yeah! Thank you so much for letting me stay here.
Phoebe: Oh! No problem! I (Cassie emerges from the bathroom and we once again visit slow motion Barry White background music land with the sexy hair-flipping thing going on, only this time Phoebe is entranced. For more information on Denise Richards you can visit your local library or look her up on the Internet at her official website at www.deniserichards.com.)
Chandler: Oh you got a wedding dress? Thats great!
RACHEL: Do you?
Emily: I dont care! You just get him!
PHOEBE: Thank you.
Luisa: Luisa Gianetti! Lincoln High? I sat behind you guys in home room!
PHOEBE: Yeah. Here you go.
RACHEL: You still think of it as your apartment, don't you?
Hillary: After a while its like, shut your mouth, you know?
Susan: No, you don't.
Monica: (sitting down) Gary's gonna ask you to move in with him!!
Chandler: You know, I can't believe you. Linda is so great! Why won't you go out with her again?
MONICA: That was you?
Phoebe: Uh, only if you have the hiccups too. Yeah, the pictures are for you, the water and the chocolate is for me. I just didnt feel like getting up. Okay, Im gonna show you a picture of Ross. Okay? And youre going to remember all of the bad things about him. All right? Really focus on his flaws.
Rachel: You mean the one that youre wearing? (Adjusts Monicas pink bra strap as Monica looks down her shirt.)
Phoebe: Okay, I hear you! Are you capable of talking about any thing else?
Ross: I I dont know what you are talking about.
Rachel: Well, in my defense, you were not supposed to tell each other.
Hombre Man: (To Joey) You were saying?
Rachel: Yeah, y'know what? I'm-I'm gonna meet you upstairs in a minute.
PHOE: No, you are not, you are very attractive. You know what, I go through the exact same thing. Every time I put on a little weight, I start questioning everyting.
RACHEL: Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. See Phoebe, Phoebe.
TOGETHER: Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat, it's not your fault.
Monica: Oh, is that why you did it the secret hallway where nobody ever goes?!
Joey: I dont know why you say that so soon.
Rachel: I know. Okay. (Whispering and thinking.) Okay. Okay. All right. All right, this is what were gonna do, we are gonna go to the next highest bidder, and we are just gonna let them buy it, and then youre just gonna pay the difference.
Rachel: How-how did you lose your job here?
Mrs. Geller: (to Ross on the stairs) I have a wonderful idea. You should take Rachel to the prom.
Chandler: Well you dont have to sound so surprised.
Ross: No, I cant. I would, I really would, but my son is here; I cant leave him. Isntyou dont think theres any way?
Ross: Oh my God. Oh my God! And youre-youre youre not freaking out?
STEVE: How are you? Look, you guys wanna meet the group? Come on. So, are you one of the ones who fooled around with my dad?
Monica: All right, I know youre hurting, and-and I want to be supportive, but dont say that again.
Phoebe: Oh, happy my wedding day to you!
Joey: (Spotting her movements takes her hand into his own) You are beautiful, you know that?
Rachel: (shocked) You let Joey drive it?!
Monica: You keep saying that.
Joey: Oh my God! How many of these things did you have? These are pure vodka.
CHANDLER: Alright, I'll tell you what, you call the couch and then, and then we'll call the couch, and we'll see who it comes to.
Rachel: Please. If she said to you, "Ross, I want you on this couch, right here, right now," what would you say?
Rachel: Boy, are you gonna be sorry if that�s true.
Monica: Sure! If you're just gonna hang out as friends, then maybe I'll join ya. You know, I'm your friend (to Phoebe) and Mike's friend (Mike is sceptical).
The Casting Director: Okay, uh well, let's try one. Whenever you guys are ready. (Some dude puts down a couple bowls of soup in front of them.)
Phoebe: Oh, it's so hard to get rid of stuff! Did you and Chandler have to make compromises when you first moved in together?
RACH: Yes! Thank you.
Ross: Thanks! (walks out of the room and starts hugging the wall) Thank you! (closes the door)
Rachel: Go-go-go-go, come on! (Ross goes over to the counte) (to Chandler) So uh, what did you find out?
Dr. Baldhara: Well, it's technically not a zoo per se, it's more of an interactive wildlife experience. Let me ask you some questions about, is it, uh, Marcel?
Phoebe: Hey Mon umm, if you do get married, can I bring two guests?
Carol: Why'd you freak out?
Ross: It was you, pal.
Boy in the Cape: My friend Lewis told me you were giving out money.
Chandler: We were wondering what was taking so long with the gift, but now we understand you were doing this.
Rachel: Hey! We were not on aOkay. Thats fine! Fine. Yknow what Ben? One day when you are a lot older I am going to tell you that entire story over a pitcher of real margaritas, okay?
Monica: Okay. Im guessing that if you dont want to deliver, you probably dont want to pick stuff up either.
Chandler: (On cell phone) Don't worry, I'll be back before you know it. Yes it will be the same. Because I know, that's how. I promise.
Chandler: Yeah, I can say that I have a conference and you can say you have a chef thing.
Rachel: (to Ross) Yes! Did you see that?
Phoebe: (on phone, in 'Katelynn's' voice) 'Hi, I have Phoebe Buffay returning a page. Okay, well, um, she's in her car I'll have to patch you through.'
Roger: I dunno. Maybe you wanted your marriage to fail.
Mike: Uhm, did you guys know that there is a giant ice sculpture in the hall?
Monica: Did it ever occur to you that I might just be that stupid?
Chandler: You kidding? Youre the most beautiful woman in most rooms (She jumps up and kisses him.) (Breaking the kiss.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whats going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out?
Monica: Y'know what? Ill think youll play.
Rachel: (to a pregnant Leslie) Look at you, you are so big I can't believe it!
Rachel: Hey Pheebs, youre still alive! How are you doing?
Phoebe: I can't believe you did that!
Monica: (starting to cry) Im sorry I almost made you sleep with Ross. (They hug.)
ROSS: I was doing great with Julie before I found out about you.
Joey: (on phone) Hey! I do too think about the consequences of my decisions! (Listens) What gives you the right to (Listens) Go to hell! (Hangs up the phone and opens the fridge.) Stupid guy on my phone.
Chandler: This took you all day?!
Chandler: Yeah, listen, Joey isn't gonna be here tonight so why don't you come over and I'll let you uh, feel my bicep. Or maybe more.
Joey: Yeah, yeah. Hey, why dont you give a pull on that rope? (Points.)
Ross: Youre never gonna believe it uh, Monica and Chandler are moving in again. Thats great news rightI mean for them. Right?
Ross: You can't just call Godfather. Don't you think her brother should be Godfather?
Rachel: Honey, no one thinks youre a pansy, but we do think you need a tissue. (She notices something hanging from Monicas nose, as does Joey.)
WAITER: So, would you like any dessert?
Rachel: Ok. You decorate dad's office and so now you're a decorator. Okay! I went to the zoo yesterday and now I'm a koala bear.
Phoebe: All right, we'll se you and Mike at the restaurant in a couple hours.
Rachel: What? What do you mean, "there you are"? Where was she?
Chandler: (to Rachel) I love you. (Kisses her on the forehead)
Hayley: oh I thought you said Hi.
Ross: Look, Carol never threw me out of a room before you came along.
Phoebe: I can say I told you so but shes kinda doing that for me.
Dr. Long: Okay! All your tests look fine. Now, are you two interested in knowing the sex of the baby?
Ross: I wanna go talk to Rachel for a minute, are you gonna be okay alone for a bit?
RACH: Both of you?
Phoebe: (Singing) "Ipan Stripan, Glupi Glabi! " And that is the Swedish National Anthem! Thank you for asking! (looks annoyed)
Rachel: No! Joey please! Please dont! Please dont leave like this! Now come on, you cannot do this to a pregnant woman! (Starts to cry.)
RACH: [to Ross] Hey, you.
ROSS: How are you?
The Assistant Director: (to another actor) Richard? Were ready for you. (Richard approaches.) Joey Tribbiani? This is Richard Crosby hes playing Vincent.
Rachel: So, pretty much around the same time that you started telling this story.
Ballerina: I love you! (Hugs Rachel.)
Monica: You dont? (Laughs) Well, thats the difference between a professional and a layman.
Ross: Wait! Wait! Wait! Y'know what? Just stay. Please? It uh It would really mean a lot to me if you stayed.
Phoebe: You told them he was missing?
Ross: Hey, you wet my pants!
Rachel: What did you get her? (Joey opens up a rectangular black box and holds up a pen.)
Ross: It's been an hour and not one of my classmates has shown up! I tell you, when I actually die some people are gonna get seriously haunted!
Joey: No Im not. Why would you say that? Thats just mean.