words in movies
Rachel: I cannot believe that you didnt tell me that we are still married!!
Ross: Look I was going to tell you!
Monica: Youre kidding!
Chandler: Okay, let me just jump in and ask, at what point did you think this was a successful marriage?
Ross: Rach, come on, if you think about it, its actually kinda funny. (He laughs, and he laughs alone.) Okay, maybe its best not to think about it.
Ross: Phoebe, I told her you already knew.
Phoebe: Another lie. You have a sickness!
Chandler: Ross, just for my own piece of mind, youre not married to anymore of us are ya?
Monica: Joey, why dont you put them in the lost and found?
Chandler: You left a shoe here?!
Phoebe: (coming in from the bathroom) Oh, good, good, you guys are here! Listen, how would like to spend tomorrow taking care of three incredibly cute little puppies?!
Joey: Me too! Yeah. And comfortable. Do uh, do you like leather seats?
Phoebe: Maybe you could be my roommate!
Rachel: Well sure, if you say youre gonna take care of everything I have no reason to doubt you. Give me those forms! (Grabs them from him.) All right, now Im gonna do this my way and I dont want to hear a peep out of you!
Rachel: Op! Youre peeping!
Rachel: Ross! Yknow what, I just gotwhy? Why did you do this?!
Ross: Look I told you
Ross: Look, if youd had two failed marriages, youd understand!
Rachel: Well, yknow what? Thanks to you Im half way there! Ugh! Oh! I am so mad! Ross, I dont think I have ever been this angry!
Phoebe: (rapidly) Im doing okay. I think its going well. Do you think theyre having fun? Am I talking to fast?
Chandler: Little baby girl Chandler, where I have heard that before? Oh right, Coach Ruben. (Tries to get her to drink a little more from the bottle when he suddenly smells something. Its times like these Im glad Smell-O-Vision hasnt been invented.) Do you know what Pheebs? When youre done over there, we kinda have a situation over here too. (Phoebe is changing hers.)
Chandler: See thats where I think that youre wrong. Weve been playing these babies man for man; we should really be playing a zone defense.
Monica: What do you mean?
Chandler: I just think that things would go a lot smoother if we each have our own zone. Phoebe, you can be in charge of wiping. And yknow Mon, you can be in charge of diapering and I can be in charge of looking how cute they are when they put their hands around (He degrades into baby talk, but he means when they grab his finger.)
Phoebe: That sounds really great, but maybe you should be in charge of wiping.
Chandler: Shocking! Since you still have the keys.
Joey: You should see the treatment I get when Im with that car! People are friendly; they-they wanna talk, and not just about the car! One guy gave me advice about my equity investments.
Joey: The ones that got me the Porsche! Will you keep up! (Chandler wipes his forehead with a baby wipe, that might have been used. He drops it disgustedly.) But I figured, if-if people keep seeing me just standing there, theyre gonna start to think that I dont own it. So I figured Ill wash it. Right? Monica, you got a bucket and some soap I can borrow?
Chandler: You dont even have a car!
Chandler: There you are.
Guy #2: Really! You got a place upstate?
Guy #2: Well, Ill see you later.
The Porsche Owner: What-what are you doing?
The Porsche Owner: Listen, I-I-I dont come to this city much so I dont know if youre crazy or this is some kind of street theater, but could I have my keys.
Monica: Chandler, what are you doing? That thing can put someones eye out!
Chandler: Theyre not gonna swallow anything, you guys are being way over protective. When I was a kid, my mom used to just throw me into a pile of broken glass!
Monica: Oh its so cute. I wonder what age it is when you stop being able to put both legs over your head.
Monica: How are you still single?!
Chandler: (entering) All right. (Clears throat) I thought about it and maybe youre right. Maybe Krog is not a safe toy.
Monica: Good. What made you change your mind?
Judge: Okay you two are asking the court for an annulment?
Judge: So based on your petition you are seeking an annulment on the grounds that Mr. Geller is mentally unstable.
Rachel: Well, you would know.
Judge: Now it also says here that you lied about your sexual preference before marriage?
Judge: And finally that you were unable to consummate the marriage. Well, that makes sense since youre gay and addicted to heroin.
Judge: Now if you were two involved in a serious relationship, that really creates a problem.
Rachel: Ross! Your honor, rest assured relationship ended like two years ago! (To the stenographer) And could you strike "Consummated like bunnies" from the record?
Judge: Well, based on what I heard, you two certainly dont qualify for an annulment. If you two dont want to be together youll have to file for divorce.
Ross: (stands up) Thats great! Are you happy now? Look what you did with your funny, funny form!
Rachel: (stands up as well) What?! Me?! What about you and your consummated like bunnies nonsense!
Ross: And what(notices the stenographer is still typing)What are you typing that for? Did you hear what she said? We dont get the annulment. Dont type that! What?! Stop typing! (He goes over to where the stenographer is typing and in the process pushes Rachel out of his way.) Hey! Stop typing! (Hes still typing.) Stop typing! Stop typing!!
Rachel: (to the judge) Okay, do you see, do you see what youre keeping me married too?!
Judge: You need to get out of my chambers.
Judge: Would you like to spend the night in jail?
Rachel: And thank you for your time. (They both beat a hasty retreat.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is still doing the hairball thing as Monica and Phoebe are watching the babies. I cant describe it, youll have to see it when it comes on in your area.]
Chandler: But you found the keys to his clothes?
Monica: And people will think you own a Porsche because youre wearing the clothes?
Joey: Of course! Only an idiot would wear this stuff if you didnt have the car! Right?
Monica: Joey, you know you dont actually have one.
Joey: Come on! What are you doing?! Im in character! Would you talk to her! (Storms out.)
Phoebe: What?! No, you cant, you cant leave me here with them! Were baby-sitting!
Monica: The babies are asleep, Im sure youll be okay on your own for a while!
Passerby: Maybe because youve got the keys?
Ross: My fault?! You threatened the judge!
Rachel: Well, you ripped the paper out of the court reporters machine!!
Ross: The judge wouldnt let us get an annulment! Now we gotta get a divorce!! Did a Porsch throw up on you? (Walks on.)
Phoebe: Me taking care of you is no problem, huh? You guys feel safe. Right? Okay, Im gonna take that spit bubble as, "Yeah, I do!" Okay, after I get rid of this dirty diaper Leslie, Ill set you up with a clean one. (She throws it at the garbage without looking, misses, and knocks over a vase and flowers, which fall to the floor and break.) Okay, Im sorry. I didnt mean to scare you. I just have to clean that up. Okay? Cause lets face it, were at Monicas. (She crawls over, disposes of the diaper, picks up the flowers, and the vase.) I broke it. All right. Well, thats just the way that goes. (She throws out both the flowers and the vase.) Okay, good. (She turns around and only counts two babies.) Why are there only two of you? Where is Leslie? Well, you cant answer. (She starts looking for her) Leslie? Where are you Leslie? Leslie, now would be a good time for your first words! (She turns around and finds that Leslie has managed to crawl into the bottom drawer of the TV cabinet.) Well, look at you! Hey! You are a little bit mischievous! My gosh! (She picks her up and notices a surprise is waiting in the drawer.) Oh, youre a lot mischievous! Well, itll dry. (Closes the drawer with her foot.) (To Leslie) Okay, you sit with your brother and sister nowwho arent there! (They both have disappeared as well.)
Phoebe: (exhausted) How do you feel?
Monica: Youre right, youre right I shouldnt freak out. Cause this is what will happen when you and I have babies! When will that be?!
Chandler: (pause) Phoebe, would you take a look at this mess!!!!
Rachel: (deadpan) Oh honey thank God youre home, I was getting worried.
Ross: I picked up the divorce papers. Uh, Ive already signed everything and I put little Xs where you need to sign.
Ross: Yknow, I-Iyouve done a lot of stupid stuff too! Okay?
Ross: Okay, how about you flew to London to stop my wedding! Ah, how about you told me you loved me after I was already married!
Rachel: Hey! Wait a minute! That was different! I did those things because I was in love with you!
Ross: Youre right. Thats very different. So lets, lets just sign the papers. All right? (Sits down and Rachel keeps standing there.) What?
Ross: So then if-ifI mean if you think about it, this is all (Pause.) your fault.
Ross: Ive got to say; I know I divorce a lot of women, never thought I would be divorcing you.
Rachel: I know. I always thought if you and I got married, it would be the one that stuck. And it wouldnt be a secret, and we wouldnt have our wedding dinner at Pizza Hut. (They both laugh.)
Joey: Hey! How you doin?
Joey: Id love to show ya, but I just tucked her in. Shes sleeping. (The women both laugh) Hey uh, would you two girls like to go for a drink? (Just then the same guy with the football dives to make a catch, lands on the car cover, and collapses it. It turns out that Joey set up a bunch of boxes to make it look like a Porsche.)
Kathy: I'm sorry, you're right, I apologize, but I should tell you that I'm waiting for a date. (Joey enters) Oh, and there he is now.
Rachel: What are you gonna do Pheebs?
Monica: Oh, you know, my flock is good, I mean, yeah, my flock pretty much takes care of themselves at this point. Good flock. Flock, flock, flock.
Monica: I wont care, because I know you will be feeling it all in here. (Points to her heart.)
Rachel: This is Bonnie? (to Phoebe) This is Bonnie? (to Bonnie) Youre Bonnie?
Ross: Umm, say youre gonna be starving after all this moving. What do you say I take you to dinner tonight?
Ross: Look, if you don't know what the word "acrimonious" means, just don't use it!
Ross: Thank you. (Joey mouths to Ross, "Youll show me right?") No!
Phoebe: Wait a second, or maybe you can go in first.
Janice: Oh! Someone's a little cranky today cuz they have to do it in a cup! (laughs) Oh! They gave you the kiddy size (looking at the cup in his hand).
Ross: How are you ever going to sell this place?
Monica: Why don't you just take it with you?
Monica: Would you stop? Weve only been going out a couple of weeks, I mean we dont even know if hes gonna propose.
Chandler: Y'know, if you're gonna work late, I could look in on him for you.
Ross: Do you mind if I sit here for a sec.?
Ursula: Right... Oh, I got something for you, too.
Monica: Joey, what are you doing? You promised Phoebe you wouldnt eat meat until she has the babies!
Rachel: Thank you. (Dr. Long exits.) Well, I guess we have some time to kill.
Joey: How can you say that?! The Mets have no closer!
Monica: You know, on the way over here, I saw this drunk guy throw up. And then a pigeon ate it!
Mrs. Green: Thats true. You do have another child.
Tag: Im telling you, you never gave them to me.
Monica: I warned you...
Monica: How do you know she's gonna start talking?
Gary: Phoebe, you don't have to say that.
Sebastian: Here you go. (Hands her, her cup.)
Ross: Yes, you can, very much.
Chandler: You're kidding! Did you tell her I wasn't?
Monica: Its okay honey, youll find a name.
Joey: I'm fine, I'm fine, it's just, it's just weird what's happening with her and Ross. You know, yesterday he asked me to fix him up with somebody.
Joey: No-no-no! No-no wait Rach, you know what would even be more fun? Telling them.
Phoebe: (shocked) Youve never asked a guy out?!!
Monica: Wow! Wow! And its definitely all gone? Theres nothing there to work with? (Joey glares at her.) What were you thinking?
Monica: Well, why would she lie to you?
RACH: I didn't know then. And how come you never said anything to me.
Rachel: Honey, you got a little thing on your...(points to her whole face)
Ross: Will you-will you please?
Ross: Tag? Y-You're going? (Comes over to Tag) Uh we didn't, uh we didn't get the chance to talk. Uh, so, where did you say you're from again?
Rachel: Phoebe, I mean, you do know hes married?
Ross: Oh my god, you know what, yeah, I think you�re right. I think � listen, listen!
Chandler: Yeah, sure. What do you need? We got lace, satin, sateen, raffia, gingham, felt, (Pause) and I think my testacles may be in here too.
Joey: (to Chandler) If you don't do it, I will.
PHOEBE: Alright, now I will let go if you both stop.
Ross: Hey there little fella! Hey, uh-hey, why dont we get some shoes on ya, huh? Hey, why dont you show dad how you can put your shoes on, in your room! Yay!!
Ross: You can totally, totally live on this.
Rachel: Thank you! And now if youll excuse me, I have to go to the rest room.
Joey: If you wanna get back in the car, we need the wire, your call.
Ross: Hey! I just got uh, my teacher evaluations! Check out what this one student wrote, "I loved Dr. Gellers class. Mind blowing lectures! Dr. Geller, you are definitely the hottie of the paleontology department!"
Dr. Baldhara: You're making a big mistake here. I mean, San Diego's all well and good, but if you give him to me, I'll start him off against a blind rabbit and give you twenty percent of the gains.
Chandler: Could be. I mean technically she did strip, we just, we just missed it. (Walks towards the bedroom.) Maam, are you also a stripper?
Joey: Hey listen, why dont you come downstairs with me? Theres some really nice girls down there.
Monica: Why do you want to see my hand?
Joey: If you ask me to stay, I�ll pee. (leaves)
Monica: You invite my brother, you invite my whole family, and not me?! Why?! WhatWhy wouldnt you want me at your wedding? What could I have possibly done?! (Frannies husband walks up.) Stuart!
EDDIE: Ok, you really want me out?
Phoebe: Well did she know you two werent married?
Joey: Well off the top of my head uhh, maybe shes having her cake and eating it too. You being the cake and Richard being the too. Or!
Phoebe: Yeah! Youre such a great friend!
Phoebe: (looking through the pizzas) Okay pepperoni, pepperoni, pepperoni, okay Ross, I know she's pretty and you love her, but is she stupid?! She forgot my vegetarian!
Ross: Dad seriously! Yknow you really should see someone about that!
Ross: (chuckles nervously) The sex? (chuckles) Um, I'm having enough trouble with the image of you and Susan together, when you throw in Tanya (miming washing hair, that's the best I could think of), yaw...
Joey: Hey, yknow what you guys? I think Im gonna go walk her home. (Gets up and runs out.)
Monica: Its wrong. You know what else is wrong? Phoebe picking Rachel.
Rachel: Oh, c'mon. She's a person, you can do it!
Chandler: Yeah, I think that's wrong, but there's a Connect the Dots in here for you later. (To Monica) Hey, how about maroon?
Ross: And confused. Rach, sweetie, I-I um I didnt propose to you.
Chandler: So you knew we were gonna miss the movie!
Ross: Um, in Phoebe's room. You can't go in there.
Joey: (still singing) " Amy! Happy birthday to you!"
Rachel: You are never going to believe what happened to me today.
Joey: (entering) Hey. (Ross turns to see who it is, and seeing its Joey he just ignores him and turns back around.) Ross, I know youre pissed at me, but we have to talk about this.
Dr. Green: No, when you put your feet up in my bed, you tugged on my catheter.
Joey: Of course it's true! How else would you explain all the weird stuff that's been going on?
Monica: I swear you said you had the keys.
Chandler: Hi Emma! It's the year 2020. Are you still enjoying your nap?
Monica: Hey, what did you guys do today?
Phoebe: Do you wanna get to Rachel in time?
Rick: (looking at her feet) Wow, you have really pretty feet.
Ross: Listen, Joey, I know what he did was wrong but dont you think you could at least hear the guy out?
Barry: (to Mindy) I swear, whatever I was doing, I was always thinking of you.
Rachel: Yeah, I know. It's ridiculous! I can't see you either.
Ross: You were my first kiss with Rachel?
Paul: Well maybe you can date him then that would save me the trouble of killing him. (Rachel laughs then starts looking at him.) Are you okay?
Joey: Hey, Mon! Im not doing anything, why dont you fire me?
Quartet: Your no God's gift to women, that's all in your headdddd. You are just a buttmunch.
Eric: No-no its not! I dont want to lose you! Its-its like I was saying to Ursula when I was making love to her and I thought she was youYeah it is too weird.
Monica: I cant believe this. Do you think that your parents could help pay for it?
Gene: You put this on a sandwich.
Chandler: (to Monica) You see you cant tell which one is which either, dwha!!
Chandler: (entering) Okay. You were right. I'm in love with Joey's girlfriend.
Mrs. Green: Youre gonna be a great father.
Joey: No way! Look, Halloween is so stupid! Dressing up, pretending to be someone youre not
RACHEL: Ahh, so do you, beautiful. [they hug]
Phoebe: You can't put your cigarette out on a tree!
Monica: (looking very serious) I need to talk to you.
Phoebe: Hey you guys, I dont mean to make things worse, but umm, I dont want to live with Rachel anymore.
Ross: Look, you can't do this Mon. All right, if you do this, I'm, I'm gonna, I'm, I'm gonna.....
MR. GREENE: ...and you sand it and you varnish it...
Casting Director No. 1: That's fine, thank you.
Chandler: I cannot believe you didnt pick me.