words in movies
Rachel: I cannot believe that you didnt tell me that we are still married!!
Ross: Look I was going to tell you!
Monica: Youre kidding!
Chandler: Okay, let me just jump in and ask, at what point did you think this was a successful marriage?
Ross: Rach, come on, if you think about it, its actually kinda funny. (He laughs, and he laughs alone.) Okay, maybe its best not to think about it.
Ross: Phoebe, I told her you already knew.
Phoebe: Another lie. You have a sickness!
Chandler: Ross, just for my own piece of mind, youre not married to anymore of us are ya?
Monica: Joey, why dont you put them in the lost and found?
Chandler: You left a shoe here?!
Phoebe: (coming in from the bathroom) Oh, good, good, you guys are here! Listen, how would like to spend tomorrow taking care of three incredibly cute little puppies?!
Joey: Me too! Yeah. And comfortable. Do uh, do you like leather seats?
Phoebe: Maybe you could be my roommate!
Rachel: Well sure, if you say youre gonna take care of everything I have no reason to doubt you. Give me those forms! (Grabs them from him.) All right, now Im gonna do this my way and I dont want to hear a peep out of you!
Rachel: Op! Youre peeping!
Rachel: Ross! Yknow what, I just gotwhy? Why did you do this?!
Ross: Look I told you
Ross: Look, if youd had two failed marriages, youd understand!
Rachel: Well, yknow what? Thanks to you Im half way there! Ugh! Oh! I am so mad! Ross, I dont think I have ever been this angry!
Phoebe: (rapidly) Im doing okay. I think its going well. Do you think theyre having fun? Am I talking to fast?
Chandler: Little baby girl Chandler, where I have heard that before? Oh right, Coach Ruben. (Tries to get her to drink a little more from the bottle when he suddenly smells something. Its times like these Im glad Smell-O-Vision hasnt been invented.) Do you know what Pheebs? When youre done over there, we kinda have a situation over here too. (Phoebe is changing hers.)
Chandler: See thats where I think that youre wrong. Weve been playing these babies man for man; we should really be playing a zone defense.
Monica: What do you mean?
Chandler: I just think that things would go a lot smoother if we each have our own zone. Phoebe, you can be in charge of wiping. And yknow Mon, you can be in charge of diapering and I can be in charge of looking how cute they are when they put their hands around (He degrades into baby talk, but he means when they grab his finger.)
Phoebe: That sounds really great, but maybe you should be in charge of wiping.
Chandler: Shocking! Since you still have the keys.
Joey: You should see the treatment I get when Im with that car! People are friendly; they-they wanna talk, and not just about the car! One guy gave me advice about my equity investments.
Joey: The ones that got me the Porsche! Will you keep up! (Chandler wipes his forehead with a baby wipe, that might have been used. He drops it disgustedly.) But I figured, if-if people keep seeing me just standing there, theyre gonna start to think that I dont own it. So I figured Ill wash it. Right? Monica, you got a bucket and some soap I can borrow?
Chandler: You dont even have a car!
Chandler: There you are.
Guy #2: Really! You got a place upstate?
Guy #2: Well, Ill see you later.
The Porsche Owner: What-what are you doing?
The Porsche Owner: Listen, I-I-I dont come to this city much so I dont know if youre crazy or this is some kind of street theater, but could I have my keys.
Monica: Chandler, what are you doing? That thing can put someones eye out!
Chandler: Theyre not gonna swallow anything, you guys are being way over protective. When I was a kid, my mom used to just throw me into a pile of broken glass!
Monica: Oh its so cute. I wonder what age it is when you stop being able to put both legs over your head.
Monica: How are you still single?!
Chandler: (entering) All right. (Clears throat) I thought about it and maybe youre right. Maybe Krog is not a safe toy.
Monica: Good. What made you change your mind?
Judge: Okay you two are asking the court for an annulment?
Judge: So based on your petition you are seeking an annulment on the grounds that Mr. Geller is mentally unstable.
Rachel: Well, you would know.
Judge: Now it also says here that you lied about your sexual preference before marriage?
Judge: And finally that you were unable to consummate the marriage. Well, that makes sense since youre gay and addicted to heroin.
Judge: Now if you were two involved in a serious relationship, that really creates a problem.
Rachel: Ross! Your honor, rest assured relationship ended like two years ago! (To the stenographer) And could you strike "Consummated like bunnies" from the record?
Judge: Well, based on what I heard, you two certainly dont qualify for an annulment. If you two dont want to be together youll have to file for divorce.
Ross: (stands up) Thats great! Are you happy now? Look what you did with your funny, funny form!
Rachel: (stands up as well) What?! Me?! What about you and your consummated like bunnies nonsense!
Ross: And what(notices the stenographer is still typing)What are you typing that for? Did you hear what she said? We dont get the annulment. Dont type that! What?! Stop typing! (He goes over to where the stenographer is typing and in the process pushes Rachel out of his way.) Hey! Stop typing! (Hes still typing.) Stop typing! Stop typing!!
Rachel: (to the judge) Okay, do you see, do you see what youre keeping me married too?!
Judge: You need to get out of my chambers.
Judge: Would you like to spend the night in jail?
Rachel: And thank you for your time. (They both beat a hasty retreat.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is still doing the hairball thing as Monica and Phoebe are watching the babies. I cant describe it, youll have to see it when it comes on in your area.]
Chandler: But you found the keys to his clothes?
Monica: And people will think you own a Porsche because youre wearing the clothes?
Joey: Of course! Only an idiot would wear this stuff if you didnt have the car! Right?
Monica: Joey, you know you dont actually have one.
Joey: Come on! What are you doing?! Im in character! Would you talk to her! (Storms out.)
Phoebe: What?! No, you cant, you cant leave me here with them! Were baby-sitting!
Monica: The babies are asleep, Im sure youll be okay on your own for a while!
Passerby: Maybe because youve got the keys?
Ross: My fault?! You threatened the judge!
Rachel: Well, you ripped the paper out of the court reporters machine!!
Ross: The judge wouldnt let us get an annulment! Now we gotta get a divorce!! Did a Porsch throw up on you? (Walks on.)
Phoebe: Me taking care of you is no problem, huh? You guys feel safe. Right? Okay, Im gonna take that spit bubble as, "Yeah, I do!" Okay, after I get rid of this dirty diaper Leslie, Ill set you up with a clean one. (She throws it at the garbage without looking, misses, and knocks over a vase and flowers, which fall to the floor and break.) Okay, Im sorry. I didnt mean to scare you. I just have to clean that up. Okay? Cause lets face it, were at Monicas. (She crawls over, disposes of the diaper, picks up the flowers, and the vase.) I broke it. All right. Well, thats just the way that goes. (She throws out both the flowers and the vase.) Okay, good. (She turns around and only counts two babies.) Why are there only two of you? Where is Leslie? Well, you cant answer. (She starts looking for her) Leslie? Where are you Leslie? Leslie, now would be a good time for your first words! (She turns around and finds that Leslie has managed to crawl into the bottom drawer of the TV cabinet.) Well, look at you! Hey! You are a little bit mischievous! My gosh! (She picks her up and notices a surprise is waiting in the drawer.) Oh, youre a lot mischievous! Well, itll dry. (Closes the drawer with her foot.) (To Leslie) Okay, you sit with your brother and sister nowwho arent there! (They both have disappeared as well.)
Phoebe: (exhausted) How do you feel?
Monica: Youre right, youre right I shouldnt freak out. Cause this is what will happen when you and I have babies! When will that be?!
Chandler: (pause) Phoebe, would you take a look at this mess!!!!
Rachel: (deadpan) Oh honey thank God youre home, I was getting worried.
Ross: I picked up the divorce papers. Uh, Ive already signed everything and I put little Xs where you need to sign.
Ross: Yknow, I-Iyouve done a lot of stupid stuff too! Okay?
Ross: Okay, how about you flew to London to stop my wedding! Ah, how about you told me you loved me after I was already married!
Rachel: Hey! Wait a minute! That was different! I did those things because I was in love with you!
Ross: Youre right. Thats very different. So lets, lets just sign the papers. All right? (Sits down and Rachel keeps standing there.) What?
Ross: So then if-ifI mean if you think about it, this is all (Pause.) your fault.
Ross: Ive got to say; I know I divorce a lot of women, never thought I would be divorcing you.
Rachel: I know. I always thought if you and I got married, it would be the one that stuck. And it wouldnt be a secret, and we wouldnt have our wedding dinner at Pizza Hut. (They both laugh.)
Joey: Hey! How you doin?
Joey: Id love to show ya, but I just tucked her in. Shes sleeping. (The women both laugh) Hey uh, would you two girls like to go for a drink? (Just then the same guy with the football dives to make a catch, lands on the car cover, and collapses it. It turns out that Joey set up a bunch of boxes to make it look like a Porsche.)
Phoebe: Ooh, now you lost me.
Rachel: (stopping him) Wh-whoa! All right, okay-okay, I see, I see what's going on here! Now listen, look-look, I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, but I am not some hussy who will just sleep around to get ahead! Now even though I (He tries to interrupt and tell her about the ink), hey-hey-hey, even though I kissed you, that does not give you the right to demand sex from me. I do not want, this job that bad. Good day, sir. (She storms out of his office.)
Joey: Uh, well yeah-yeah, I've got all of that going on. Yeah, listen uh, I want you to make sure you tell Chandler that he couldn't have been more wrong! Uh-oh! I gotta go Monica, my uh, my sushi's here!
Monica: No! Thats where we keep the canned goods! Have you completely forgotten everything you learned at orientation?
Ross: (pointing at Amy, shouting) No more falafel for you!
Monica: What do you say?
Ross: No. I think you misunderstood what I was saying. What I meant was
Monica: Wait a minute, she isnt Shes not the one who you
Joey: Okay, you picked the Gimmie card! You get all of Rosss points!
Joey: (aside, to Ross) Hey Ross! That art stuff worked, you hooked me up.
Rachel: No, I-I live with Phoebe. I mean youre [pity-tone] alone, alone. And I just-its just not the time for us. Im sorry.
Ross: That's funny, because you know, you are a huge crapweasel!
Monica: Wait. Rachel, no, hes married. Married! If you dont realize that, I cant help you.
Ross: Okay, I uh, I can't see you anymore.
Lizzie: No, no, I ha-I have to give you something.
CHANDLER: Would you come on! Come on! [waitress brings their coffee] Thank you.
RACH: Alright, fine, you go ahead and you do that, alright Ross.
Rachel: You dont tell a guy that youre looking for a serious relationship! You dont tell the guy that! Now you scared him away!
Monica: What did you say?
Monica: Ill meet you there in two minutes.
Rachel: Return them?! Shh! Theyre gonna hear you!
Rachel: That's crazy! You can't do that! What are you going to tell her? (Pause) (Realizes) Oh God. Ohh, you already agreed to this, haven't you?
Ross: Give daddy the Barbi! Ben, give, give me the Barbi. Okay, how 'bout, don't you want to play with the monster truck? (makes a monster truck sound) No. Okay, oh, oh, how about a Dino-soilder? (squawks like a dinosaur)
Phoebe: Are you kidding. He is so considerate of my feelings and... you know I think... you'd also like to know that he is a very gentle lover.
Ross: You deserve to be with someone who appreciates you, and who gets how funny and sweet and amazing, and adorable, and sexy you are, you know? Someone who wakes up every morning thinking "Oh my god, I'm with Rachel". You know, someone who makes you feel good, the way I am with Julie. (Rachel has moved closer, but hearing that she starts to back up.) Was there a second of all?
Phoebe: Are you calling me selfish?!
RACHEL: Oh yeah, I don't care how much she tells you she wants it, I don't care if begs, she pleads, she tells you she, she's gonna have sex with, with another man. That just means it's working.
Monica: Sit down. All right? Please, just listen to me. You are terrible at this! Okay? You are the worst ultimate fighter ever! Ever!!
Chandler: Are we gonna talk about what you guys did last night? Or
Lorraine: You know, ever since I was little, I've been able to pick up quarters with my toes.
Ross: (to Carol) Where the hell have you been?
Joey: Hey, you know what naked card game is never boring?
Cecilia: And if it were true, how dare you come to me ask me for tips about a character that Ive been playing for 20 yearsIll give you a tip! (She throws her drink in his face.)
Rachel: So what are you guys going to do?
CHANDLER: Hey, no, I've never been lower or wetter. I'll be fine. I'll just turn your, uh, bedroom into a game room or somethin', you know, put the foosball table in there.
Joey: No ... the leather sticks to my ass. You know, this isn't fair. What makes you think that I'm just gonna sleep with her and then blow her off? Huh? Can't you guys open your minds to the possibility that I actally like her, and might want something real? (pause) Look, the truth is, I haven't felt this way about anyone since Rachel, ok? I didn't think I could ever love again.
Phoebe: Well okay, let this be a lesson to all of you, all right. Once you, once you betray me, I become like the ice woman, yknow. Very cold, hard, unyielding, y'know nothing, nothing can penetrate this icy exterior. (to Monica) Can I have a tissue, please?
Chandler: When was the last time you saw her wear it?
Rachel: Ohh no you dont! You got lighting last time, lighting is mine!
Chandler: Well, listen I ah, still have one more person to ah meet, but unless it turns out to be your sister, I think youre chances are pretty good. (Eric offers to shake hands) All right. (Chandler hugs him.)
Phoebe: Oh, I love you guys too, but Mike got off work early. Wait. Wait, I�m not t�not that kind of girl that just ditches her friends to be with her boyfriend. You know what? I am. Bye guys! (waves to the bar) Judy! Bye.
Ross: It's all working out! Me & Charlie, and you two. You know what we should do?
Rachel: Oh, please, I don't care about you enough to bug me. In fact, from now on, I'm going take the high road. And I'm going be very very nice to you, you "momma's boy", starting right now.
Joey: What are you talking about? Lots of things rhyme with Rachel. Bagel. Mail. Jail. Bail. Able. May-pole.
Phoebe: Well, I mean, Im not my sisters, you know, whatever, and um... I mean, its true, we were one egg, once, but err, you know, weve grown apart, so, um... I dont know, why not? Okay.
JOEY: Hey, are you cool with this. I mean, I don't want to leave you high and dry.
Joey: You dont have to worry about that okay?
Mike: Oh, no! I don't think so! You know, according to standard table tennis rules if at any time a player uses his non racket bearing hand to touch the playing surface he or she forfeits the point.
Gunther: You can't.
Rachel: Ah you went one too far. Uh, flowers or balloons?
Joey: Thanks. Do you get a lot of guys in here?
Joey: Nooooo!!! Y'know what? Now that I think about it, I constantly find myself without twenties and you always have lots!
Ross: There is no way I am letting you drive this car! So why dont you just hand over the keys?
Rachel: Wow, Ikea... what a rich culture. Uhm, you know what? I have a friend who is a masseuse.
Rachel: Oh! Oh, I think Im gonna throw up a little bit. What did you say?
Mike: You're right. She probably will support me. Hey, unless we move in with you, dad?
Emeril: (on TV.) Now maybe you just like wanna but the whole duck in there! Who cares, y'know? Now I got the legs
Joey: Whoa! Hey! Whoa!! Hold up! Are you serious?! So like 3% of the time they dont even work?! Huh? They should put that on the box!
Rachel: You guys! You guys!
Ross: What, you didnt get it? The doctor is a monkey.
Phoebe: Ohhh, I wanna come over there and give you a hug and wish you luck on your wedding, but I dontcant get up.
Rachel: All right, now dont judge me. I normally wait until my date leaves, but you live here. Im ripping into this swan.
Chandler: Ok, I don't care what you guys say, something's bothering her.
Joey: Yeah, you fogged Danny.
Monica: I'm sorry, I'll give it back to you.
Ross: Excellent! How do you put a baby down for a nap?
Kathy: Wow! You are really good at this.
Monica: I totally forgive you!
Ross: Of course it is. Yeah, come on in. Ooh-ooh, go by the window you can pretend to be surfing. (He pretends he's surfing by the window.)
Joey: Well uh, I went down there and told him that no one treats my friends like that and that hed better come up here and apologize. Ill see you later. (Starts to leave)
Monica: Listen...I need to know that what I'm about to ask you, will never get back to Chandler.
Monica: I drew you a bath!
Rachel: Yeah. No. And you know what? Nobody even saw!
Ross: (to Emily) Hey, could you do me a favour? Could you just grab me a bottle of water?
Rachel: I guess you werent there. (They hug.)
RACH: Oh, I know, I'm sorry you guys. You're just gonna have to get used to the fact that I will not be dating Ross.
JOEY: You partied with Hootie and the Blowfish?
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Right, well look, um, if Joey loses this audition, that is it for Estelle. I don't care! Annie you are a doll, what time can you see him?' (to Monica) I need a pen. (Chandler hands her one, but she needs something to right on, so she tilts Chandler's head over and writes on the back of his neck)
Rachel: Come on Ross! Im miserable here! Come on! You started this, now you finish it! Come on wuss, make love to me.
Phoebe: Oh, Im sorry. I didnt hear you over all the winning.
Chandler: Can you believe it? I mean, don't I seem like somebody who should be doing something really cool? You know, I just always pictured myself doing something...something.
SUSIE: I'm Susie Moss. Fourth grade, glasses, I used to carry around a box of animal crackers like a purse. CHANDLER: Susie Moss, right, yeah, wow, you look. . . great job growing up.
Rachel: No!! You are getting married! This is all I have.
Phoebe: You dont know him. Its not important. He wants nothing to do with me or the baby. (She sits down like shes pregnant.)
Danny: Do you?
Ross: Space is filled with orbiting children. (pause) Look, please, just come on, you know, when you’ll see the look on Emma’s face, I swear you won’t regret it.
MONICA: Hey, have you guys eaten, because uh, Richard and I just finished and we've got leftovers... Chicken and potatoes... What am I wearing?...Actually, nothing but rubber gloves.
Ross: Okay, (to Chandler) this play, I want you to do a down and out to the right. Okay. Break!
Joey: (Shouting after him) Chandler, I didn't kiss her, he did! (To Ross) See what happens when you break the code?
Chandler: Rachel, I love you! Deal with me first! (she leaves)
Phoebe: Are you still mad at us?
Monica: Whatever you decide, whatever you do.
Joey: Look, we were way out of line, we totally support you.
Ross: You do, huh?
Felicity: Umm, I thought about you all day.
Phoebe: Mon, can I talk to you for a sec?
Rachel: Oh God Monica hi! I just went to your building and you weren't there and then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here and you are, you are!
Ross: No, thats, no, as long as youre okay. So Ill ah, Ill see you tomorrow.
Monica: (To Joey) Okay, did you hear that?
Ross: I like it, and Emily likes it, and thats what counts. So uh, how are you guys doing?