words in movies
Rachel: I cannot believe that you didnt tell me that we are still married!!
Ross: Look I was going to tell you!
Monica: Youre kidding!
Chandler: Okay, let me just jump in and ask, at what point did you think this was a successful marriage?
Ross: Rach, come on, if you think about it, its actually kinda funny. (He laughs, and he laughs alone.) Okay, maybe its best not to think about it.
Ross: Phoebe, I told her you already knew.
Phoebe: Another lie. You have a sickness!
Chandler: Ross, just for my own piece of mind, youre not married to anymore of us are ya?
Monica: Joey, why dont you put them in the lost and found?
Chandler: You left a shoe here?!
Phoebe: (coming in from the bathroom) Oh, good, good, you guys are here! Listen, how would like to spend tomorrow taking care of three incredibly cute little puppies?!
Joey: Me too! Yeah. And comfortable. Do uh, do you like leather seats?
Phoebe: Maybe you could be my roommate!
Rachel: Well sure, if you say youre gonna take care of everything I have no reason to doubt you. Give me those forms! (Grabs them from him.) All right, now Im gonna do this my way and I dont want to hear a peep out of you!
Rachel: Op! Youre peeping!
Rachel: Ross! Yknow what, I just gotwhy? Why did you do this?!
Ross: Look I told you
Ross: Look, if youd had two failed marriages, youd understand!
Rachel: Well, yknow what? Thanks to you Im half way there! Ugh! Oh! I am so mad! Ross, I dont think I have ever been this angry!
Phoebe: (rapidly) Im doing okay. I think its going well. Do you think theyre having fun? Am I talking to fast?
Chandler: Little baby girl Chandler, where I have heard that before? Oh right, Coach Ruben. (Tries to get her to drink a little more from the bottle when he suddenly smells something. Its times like these Im glad Smell-O-Vision hasnt been invented.) Do you know what Pheebs? When youre done over there, we kinda have a situation over here too. (Phoebe is changing hers.)
Chandler: See thats where I think that youre wrong. Weve been playing these babies man for man; we should really be playing a zone defense.
Monica: What do you mean?
Chandler: I just think that things would go a lot smoother if we each have our own zone. Phoebe, you can be in charge of wiping. And yknow Mon, you can be in charge of diapering and I can be in charge of looking how cute they are when they put their hands around (He degrades into baby talk, but he means when they grab his finger.)
Phoebe: That sounds really great, but maybe you should be in charge of wiping.
Chandler: Shocking! Since you still have the keys.
Joey: You should see the treatment I get when Im with that car! People are friendly; they-they wanna talk, and not just about the car! One guy gave me advice about my equity investments.
Joey: The ones that got me the Porsche! Will you keep up! (Chandler wipes his forehead with a baby wipe, that might have been used. He drops it disgustedly.) But I figured, if-if people keep seeing me just standing there, theyre gonna start to think that I dont own it. So I figured Ill wash it. Right? Monica, you got a bucket and some soap I can borrow?
Chandler: You dont even have a car!
Chandler: There you are.
Guy #2: Really! You got a place upstate?
Guy #2: Well, Ill see you later.
The Porsche Owner: What-what are you doing?
The Porsche Owner: Listen, I-I-I dont come to this city much so I dont know if youre crazy or this is some kind of street theater, but could I have my keys.
Monica: Chandler, what are you doing? That thing can put someones eye out!
Chandler: Theyre not gonna swallow anything, you guys are being way over protective. When I was a kid, my mom used to just throw me into a pile of broken glass!
Monica: Oh its so cute. I wonder what age it is when you stop being able to put both legs over your head.
Monica: How are you still single?!
Chandler: (entering) All right. (Clears throat) I thought about it and maybe youre right. Maybe Krog is not a safe toy.
Monica: Good. What made you change your mind?
Judge: Okay you two are asking the court for an annulment?
Judge: So based on your petition you are seeking an annulment on the grounds that Mr. Geller is mentally unstable.
Rachel: Well, you would know.
Judge: Now it also says here that you lied about your sexual preference before marriage?
Judge: And finally that you were unable to consummate the marriage. Well, that makes sense since youre gay and addicted to heroin.
Judge: Now if you were two involved in a serious relationship, that really creates a problem.
Rachel: Ross! Your honor, rest assured relationship ended like two years ago! (To the stenographer) And could you strike "Consummated like bunnies" from the record?
Judge: Well, based on what I heard, you two certainly dont qualify for an annulment. If you two dont want to be together youll have to file for divorce.
Ross: (stands up) Thats great! Are you happy now? Look what you did with your funny, funny form!
Rachel: (stands up as well) What?! Me?! What about you and your consummated like bunnies nonsense!
Ross: And what(notices the stenographer is still typing)What are you typing that for? Did you hear what she said? We dont get the annulment. Dont type that! What?! Stop typing! (He goes over to where the stenographer is typing and in the process pushes Rachel out of his way.) Hey! Stop typing! (Hes still typing.) Stop typing! Stop typing!!
Rachel: (to the judge) Okay, do you see, do you see what youre keeping me married too?!
Judge: You need to get out of my chambers.
Judge: Would you like to spend the night in jail?
Rachel: And thank you for your time. (They both beat a hasty retreat.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is still doing the hairball thing as Monica and Phoebe are watching the babies. I cant describe it, youll have to see it when it comes on in your area.]
Chandler: But you found the keys to his clothes?
Monica: And people will think you own a Porsche because youre wearing the clothes?
Joey: Of course! Only an idiot would wear this stuff if you didnt have the car! Right?
Monica: Joey, you know you dont actually have one.
Joey: Come on! What are you doing?! Im in character! Would you talk to her! (Storms out.)
Phoebe: What?! No, you cant, you cant leave me here with them! Were baby-sitting!
Monica: The babies are asleep, Im sure youll be okay on your own for a while!
Passerby: Maybe because youve got the keys?
Ross: My fault?! You threatened the judge!
Rachel: Well, you ripped the paper out of the court reporters machine!!
Ross: The judge wouldnt let us get an annulment! Now we gotta get a divorce!! Did a Porsch throw up on you? (Walks on.)
Phoebe: Me taking care of you is no problem, huh? You guys feel safe. Right? Okay, Im gonna take that spit bubble as, "Yeah, I do!" Okay, after I get rid of this dirty diaper Leslie, Ill set you up with a clean one. (She throws it at the garbage without looking, misses, and knocks over a vase and flowers, which fall to the floor and break.) Okay, Im sorry. I didnt mean to scare you. I just have to clean that up. Okay? Cause lets face it, were at Monicas. (She crawls over, disposes of the diaper, picks up the flowers, and the vase.) I broke it. All right. Well, thats just the way that goes. (She throws out both the flowers and the vase.) Okay, good. (She turns around and only counts two babies.) Why are there only two of you? Where is Leslie? Well, you cant answer. (She starts looking for her) Leslie? Where are you Leslie? Leslie, now would be a good time for your first words! (She turns around and finds that Leslie has managed to crawl into the bottom drawer of the TV cabinet.) Well, look at you! Hey! You are a little bit mischievous! My gosh! (She picks her up and notices a surprise is waiting in the drawer.) Oh, youre a lot mischievous! Well, itll dry. (Closes the drawer with her foot.) (To Leslie) Okay, you sit with your brother and sister nowwho arent there! (They both have disappeared as well.)
Phoebe: (exhausted) How do you feel?
Monica: Youre right, youre right I shouldnt freak out. Cause this is what will happen when you and I have babies! When will that be?!
Chandler: (pause) Phoebe, would you take a look at this mess!!!!
Rachel: (deadpan) Oh honey thank God youre home, I was getting worried.
Ross: I picked up the divorce papers. Uh, Ive already signed everything and I put little Xs where you need to sign.
Ross: Yknow, I-Iyouve done a lot of stupid stuff too! Okay?
Ross: Okay, how about you flew to London to stop my wedding! Ah, how about you told me you loved me after I was already married!
Rachel: Hey! Wait a minute! That was different! I did those things because I was in love with you!
Ross: Youre right. Thats very different. So lets, lets just sign the papers. All right? (Sits down and Rachel keeps standing there.) What?
Ross: So then if-ifI mean if you think about it, this is all (Pause.) your fault.
Ross: Ive got to say; I know I divorce a lot of women, never thought I would be divorcing you.
Rachel: I know. I always thought if you and I got married, it would be the one that stuck. And it wouldnt be a secret, and we wouldnt have our wedding dinner at Pizza Hut. (They both laugh.)
Joey: Hey! How you doin?
Joey: Id love to show ya, but I just tucked her in. Shes sleeping. (The women both laugh) Hey uh, would you two girls like to go for a drink? (Just then the same guy with the football dives to make a catch, lands on the car cover, and collapses it. It turns out that Joey set up a bunch of boxes to make it look like a Porsche.)
Monica: Yknow, you called me that before so I-I took the liberty of fashioning a star out of aluminum foil. Now, no pressure, you like my cookies, you give me the star. (Hands it to her.)
Phoebe: Ooh, honey. You stink at lying.
ROSS: I'm tellin' you. You can't do this.
Chandler: Well, last time I saw him he was heading out the door with the brides maid and a bucket of strawberries. So uh, youre not still upset about what that guy told ya are ya?
Joey: Yeah, yknow at first I thought we could talk about this yknow, work it out, but uh, seeing you two together I dont think I
Ross: When I happened to look through the window and I see you kissing a guy you know, for what? A week?
Phoebe: Wow! You do?
Gert: Faster! Youre not going fast enough!
ROSS: Dollars? You spent $1200 dollars on a plastic bird?
Joey: You lied to me!
Joey: And you couldnt think of anything else?!
Joey: Thats your move? Boy Rach, youre lucky youre hot.
ROSS: Not, not, not every night. You know, and... and it's not like I didn't try, Rachel, but things got in the way, y'know? Like, like Italian guys or ex-fiances or, or, or Italian guys.
Phoebe: Am I? Really? Am I? Well, why don't you cook Thanksgiving dinner and prove me wrong! Well, think about it, think about it, you'll be trying to top than you did last year. You'd be in competition... with yourself.
Chandler: Oh relax man, relax. Youre looking a little flushed.
Joey: Im not telling, youll have to see it on TV!
Rachel: Well I assume the ah, happy couple isnt up yet. Did you guys hear them last night?
Mr. Geller: Sweetheart, we love you just as much as Ross! Now, Im sorry about everything that happened and Id probably never be able to make it up to you, but heres a start. (He hands her a small box.)
The Photographer: (taking pictures) Great! Thats great Monica! Great! Now, Chandler, you want to give us a smile?
Monica: I can not see him? I mean, you can't tell me what to do!
Chandler: Okay, you ready for the last picture?
Mona: Now, do you think it should say, "Love Ross and Mona?"
Rachel: Chandler, can you give us a minute?
Joey: Hey youre right. Yeah, its kinda been like us again a little bit.
Ross: You do?
Monica: Hey, we can take her back with you if you want.
Carol: Do you want to know?
Cop: (stopping her) Hey, wait a second! So wait, what precinct are you with?
Chandler: Of course I will call you. I love you.
MONICA: Ok, which one of us do you think is gonna be the first one to get married?
Monica: Really you can do that?
Chandler: What are you doing?
Monica: Great! Well Rachel, the reason why I wont let you drive the Porsche is because youre a terrible driver. There! That wasnt about the wedding.
PHOEBE: Oh, you are so much the smitten kitten. You should ask him out.
Phoebe: (on intercom) Hey, do you need to get in? Here you go.
Rachel: I, uh, think you already are.
Monica: Spoon? (Hands him one and he tastes it.) So, what do you think?
Ross: Yknow what?! It doesnt matter! It doesnt matter what you believe! What matters is what happened!
RACHEL: [on phone] Ross, hi, it's Rachel. I'm just calling to say that um, everything's fine and I'm really happy for you and your cat who, by the way, I think you should name Michael. And, you know, ya see there I'm thinking of names so obviously, I am over you. I am over you and that, my friend, is what they call closure. [hangs up and tosses phone in the ice bucket]
JOEY: Can't help you, I'm not wearing any.
Joey: Oh great, that'd be great. Thank you.
Ross: Can you believe that?
Alan: Yeah, well, I had a great time with you.. I just can't stand your friends.
Chandler: You have every reason to be upset. We did lie. But only because we've been waiting and trying to have a baby for so long. Now we don't know how long it's gonna be before we can get another chance again.
Phoebe: Ill go with you
Chandler: Calm down? Calm down? You set me up with the woman that I've dumped twice in the last five months!
Dr. Stryker Remoray: Good morning. (He walks over to the bed, leans down, and whispers to him.) Drake, its your brother Stryker. Can you hear me?
Monica: Hey! Mrs. Altman was the kind of woman you could tell she used to be pretty.
ROSS: I told you there was going to be sub-titles.
JADE: Oh, you know, the usual, teaching aerobics, partying way too much. Oh, and in case you were wondering, those are my legs on the new James Bond poster.
Phoebe: Were you guys making fun of Parker?
ROSS: No, no, I don't wanna put it off, I just, God I just, I spent last year being so unbelievably miserable, ya know, and now, now I'm actually happy. You know, I mean, really happy. I just, I just don't wanna, I don't wanna mess it up, ya know.
Man: Where did you have it?
Ross: Dad, we-we cant believe youre selling the house.
RACHEL: What are you, what are you doin'?
Joey: Maybe now you can actually do it. You know? You can finally get over her.
Monica: Okay, just so you know, I'm gonna be ovulating from tomorrow until the sixth, so don't touch yourself in the next 48 hours.
Phoebe: Why dont you just try one?
Rachel: Uh, I don't have any brothers so I don't know, but uh, did you guys wrestle?
Rachel: Oh! (Opens the door to reveal a ballerina) Well youre just the prettiest ballerina Ive ever seen.
Chandler: What are you doin?
MONICA: Because that's where the party is you goon. See this is just the staging area.
Aunt Lisa: Ill bet you looked beautiful
Rachel: Alright, look, I have to go. I love you, and I will call you the minute I get to Paris.
Phoebe: And then for forgetting to invite you to it.
Joey: Uh, hey, Rach let me ask you something. Uh, I was just over there talking to Monica and Chandler, boy they are really tight.
Phoebe: You think?
Phoebe Sr: Take it easy--if you want, theres cookies on the counter, or, or--sangria! (jumps up) I can make sangria!
Parker: You do?!
Mr. Geller: So, I think youre boxes are over here. (They walk over to them.)
PHOEBE: What is this obsessive need you have to make everyone agree with you? No, what's that all about? I think, I think maybe it's time you put Ross under the microscope.
Chandler: You guys wanna eat here?
Josh: So I'll see you at the party? Beer's beer man, 24, 7!!
Steve: Okay, you got your free food! You ruined everyone's fun! Don't you think it's time you went home?!
Rachel: well watching sharks? Are you sure that's what he was doing?
Chandler: You know, we dont really take advantage of living in the city.
Mrs. Geller: Ross, why dont you give us your toast now?
Joey: How do you know about that story?!
Mrs. Geller: Youre not going to say anything? On our 35th wedding anniversary
Joey: Oh-oh-oh, yeah! (He grabs some towels and takes them to him.) That's right, you take good care of those babies!
Chandler: Any chance you are trying to pick a fight to make all this easier?
Hooker: Whats taking you boys so long?
Joey: Oh you know uh Kash, really liked you the other day. He said he thought you were charming.
RACHEL: Oh, what do you, you want me to stop seeing him, is that what you want?
Chandler: Well, lets just say its ironic how footage of someone being born can make you want to kill yourself.
Joey: Hey, Mr. Bing. That uh, hotel you stayed at called. Said someone left an eyelash curler in your room.
Chandler: Yes you did! Admit it! You freaked out!
Joey: Yeah you are baby.
Ross: Whyd you say no?
Ross: Im telling you its totally unconstituional.
Phoebe: Oh, hey, Mon, do you still have your like old blouses and dresses from high school?
Rachel: Joey, how do you make that dirty?
Passenger: (Frustrated he takes his headphones off.) Oh, oh oh!! Im sorry, can I interrupt? You know I just want to say..That you are a horrible, horrible person.
RACHEL: Whoa, look at you, you did pretty well.
Chandler: Yeah or also when you don't have somebody breathing down your neck ALL THE LIVE LONG DAY!!
Gunther: Can I get you anything?
Joey: Uh huh, sure, yeah. How can you not remember me?
Monica: That's Paul's watch. You just put it back where you found it. Oh boy. Alright. Goodnight, everybody.
Paleontologist: (merrily) Ok Geller. Last day of the conference, you know what happens to the keynote speaker.
Phoebe: Well, there's a spot open for only one groomsman and you have to choose between Ross and Chandler. So good luck with that.