words in movies
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's. Ross is sitting in the couch doing Chandler's game. Chandler is sitting in his barca-lounger. The girls are in the kitchen.]
[Cut to the girls in the kitchen.]
The Director: Kate Millers awkward and mannered portrayal is laughable. (Kate walks away depressed.) Badda-badda-badda. Ah-ha! Here it is! The direction by Marshal Talmant is (stops, reads it again, and throws down the paper in disgust) Thank you, boys and girls, youve ruined my life. Please, stuff your talentless faces with my Mothers crab cakes! (starts to leave) Excuse me!!
Phoebe: No, no, no, I wouldnt do you myself, I mean that would be weird. Yeah, no, Ill get one of the other girls to do it. Oh, this will be so much fun! Hey! Are you excited?
Phoebe: Oh no! Wait! Wait! Okay, yknow what, you were right, you were right. We really werent great at being guys, but you know why? Because were girls.
[Scene: A wintry February day in New York City, snowplows are clearing the streets. Inside Central Perk, all three girls are paying court to Ross.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the girls are still out on the balcony.]
Monica: All right, listen youre just being silly. Rachel, even with that rumor you were one of the most popular girls in school and everyone wanted to be like you. One girl wanted to be like you so much she stuffed her pants with a Tootsie Roll!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the girls are holding their boyfriend bonfire.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the girls are all out on the balcony.]
Monica: What's going on here? You go out with tons of girls.
Chandler: I mean I was nothing before you. Call the other girls and ask. Which wouldn't take long. But when I'm with you, and we're together, OH MY GOD.
Phoebe: Oh, just look at her... (girls move toward Rachel on the balcony)
Ross: (to the girls) Chandler was how old when he first touched a girl’s breast?
Monica: Youre supposed to double the tax. Not double the tax of Romania. I mean, whats-whats the deal? Are you, are you trying to buy me? Is this the way you get girls to go out with you?
Chandler: (to the girls) We were playing poker, alright...
Joey: I've been thinking. Y'know, about how I'm always seeing girls on top of girls...
Girls: No.
Girls: Oh, yeah, right.
(The girls are stumped)
Aunt Iris: Girls, sit down.
Annabelle: Nobody knows his name. Me and the girls just call him the Hombre man.
Girls: Yes, you're having a boy! (Monica runs over and hugs Ross)
Joey says "Ichiban". It displays a few girls dancing around and Joey fills most of the screen, he puts something blue on his lips and smacks them saying "Lipstick For Men!" It goes on to show him playing a guitar and putting on more blue lipstick. In the end he says seductively "Ichiban... Lipstick For Men" and "Sahiko" and it ends. Chandler and Rachel are speechless.)
(They spilt into their sexes and the girls read Monicas and the guys read Chandlers. The girls gasp and groan and the guys laugh hysterically.
JOEY: Well, see when you're acting you need to think about stuff like that. My character, Joseph the processor guy, has two little girls, Ashley and Brittany. Ashley copies everything Brittany does.
Joey: Id love to show ya, but I just tucked her in. Shes sleeping. (The women both laugh) Hey uh, would you two girls like to go for a drink? (Just then the same guy with the football dives to make a catch, lands on the car cover, and collapses it. It turns out that Joey set up a bunch of boxes to make it look like a Porsche.)
JOEY: Yeah, but then the guy opens his beer and those girls run at him, so, everything seems to work out OK.
ROSS: Do you say this stuff to girls?
Joey: Oh... food. No, sex. Food! Sex! Food! Se-I don't know! Good God, I don't know, I want girls on bread!
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey and the girls are sitting at the couches.]
[Scene: A Tap Class, the girls are standing at the door.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the girls are all there, discussing their bad luck with men.]
[Back in Monica's party. Phoebe is talking to a guy and two girls at the party.]
Joey: Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, whoa. Do you ah, want to get her something speacial, get her flowers, get her candy, get her gum, girls love gum.
(they sit down and Roy plays "You Make Me Feel" by Sylvester on his boom box, and starts... With his back towards the girls, he starts waving his hands, then backs towards the girls slapping his butt, then swings it around, and makes thrusting pelvic movements in front of Phoebe. He dances around the tables in between all the girls, and gets back into the kitchen part of the room. He then tears off one of his sleeves and throws it towards Monica and Rachel, who fight over who gets it. He then tears off his other sleeve and moves it back and forth between his legs, getting closer to Phoebe.)
[cut to the girls huddle.]
Chandler: Were not gonna lose to girls.
[cut to the girls huddle]
(He knocks on the girls door and walks in. Surprise! The girls, obviously using Star Trek technology, have completely moved everything in both apartments back to their original positions, all in the time it took for the guys to go to a basketball game. Wow! Anyhoo, Chandler is stunned, and Joey doesnt even realise it.)
Chandler: (to the girls who are staring at him) What?
Chandler: The problem is, though, after the concert's over, no matter how great the show was, you girls are always looking for the comedian again, y'know? I mean, we're in the car, we're fighting traffic... basically just trying to stay awake.
Ross: What?! The guys against the girls? See, thats ridiculous Monica, because Im only down by three touchdowns.
Phoebe: Girls, girls, stop, ok? We'll flip a coin. Heads, she's Rachel's, tails she's Monica's. (she flips the coin). Tails! Monica, she's yours!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the whole gang is there, the guys are watching football, the girls are cooking Thanksgiving dinner.]
Phoebe: Huh, well, the girls in the satin nighties on the commercial dont seem to think its that bad.
Monica: Oh, then bring it on! Oh, unless of course your afraid you might lose to a bunch of girls.
[Scene: A strip club, the girls are there with Chandler, who isnt enjoying himself.]
The Girls: No, not getting my bra!
Frank: I know! Why dont you get drunk! That worked for a lot of girls in my high school.
(Ross motions for the girls to pick.)
The Girls: Woo-hooooo!!!!
Joey: Come on man, just-just let the girls stay, Ill do whatever you want.
The Girls: Yes!!
MRS GREEN: This is so much fun, just the girls. You know what we should do? Does anybody have any marijuana?
Monica: Two girls and a boy?
(The girls are stumped)
Joey: Ahhh, I fold like a cheap hooker who got hit in the stomach by a fat guy with sores on his face. (the girls look at him, confused) Oh, I'm out.
Monica: Y'know when girls sleep with guys with weird things on their body, they tell their friends about it.
Joey: Hey! No-no-no-no, you cant take him away from me! I got a great partner to pick up girls with! Finally!!
Mr. Treeger:: Ahh, thanks but no. You see I-I think Im ready to dance with girls.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the guys are teaching the girls how to play poker.]
Joey: Oh yeah. Hey! Should we give these shirts to the girls? Yknow, kinda like a peace offering.
Joey: Well, hes too shy, he doesnt thing hes good enough to dance with girls yet.
Rachel: Yeah! I got my girls.
Joey: We figured we could be late because you guys were gonna be on time (he points the foam finger at the girls)
[Cut to the girls apartment, Monica is putting things into her purse as Phoebe and Rachel watch.]
Joey: Come on Rach, not again. I got it! Okay? Lets start sailing, and I want to go over there (Points) where that boatload of girls is! (Yelling to them) Yo-ho-ho!
Joey: (Jumping out of his way) See ya!! (To the girls.) What the hell was that?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, The girls are talking with the firemen.]
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, the next morning the girls are there with Joey.]
Joey: (entering the apartment) Hey. Man, it is so hard to shop for girls.
Ross: Thank you, thanks. (Sits down next to the girls) Yeah, I lost it. Yknow, Im not gonna play anymore, (to Phoebe) would you, can you finish my set?
MONICA: You know what, maybe I don't need to have children. You know maybe I just think I do because that is what society, and by that I mean my mom, has always convinced me that I...(sees two little girls dancing together) I do, I have to have children, I'm sorry, I just do.
Rachel: Hi! You might not remember us, but we are the girls that fogged you.
Frank Sr.: Oh! What about, what about the girls?
Chandler: Really?! I didnt think girls ever just wanted a fling.
[Time lapse. The girls have Ross pinned face down. Phoebe is sitting on his back and arms while holding his head down and facing Rachel. Rachel is sitting on his knees and holding his lower legs vertically, causing Ross pain.]
Chandler: (singing) The sunll come out tomorrow! Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow (The girls start laughing, and in a deep voice) therell be sun.
[Scene: The Girls apartment. Phoebe is dialing the phone and Rachel runs in the door.]
The Girls: Hey!
[Time lapse, all three girls are now wearing wedding dresses, eating popcorn, drinking beer, and watching TV.]
Joey: Girls say it to me all the time! And believe me, if shes anything like me, shes just gonna be relieved.
BIG BULLY: Don't do that to yourself. Any one of us could have tripped over that little girls jump-rope.
Chandler: Okay! (They kiss) So, what do you girls have planned for tonight?
Chandler: That's not specific to girls.
Joey: Have you heard about a little something called, Not Making Girls Cry.
The Girls: Happy Thanksgiving!
Joey: Hey listen, why dont you come downstairs with me? Theres some really nice girls down there.
Joey: (sad) Oh man! Now shes gonna start all over! Were never gonna get to introduce the hot girls to the new world!
Ross: Okay. (The girls leave.) (to Tommy) So uh, well, this-this is uh, this is awkward.
Phoebe: What are you two girls whispering about over there?!
Rachel: Wait a minute, youre only giving free stuff away to the pretty girls?
Chandler: Almost as good as that play with the two naked girls on the see-saw.
Monica: When girls hang out, we dont have pillow fights in our underwear. (Chandler gets a hurt look on his face.) Im sorry. We do. We do. I dont know why I said that.
Chandler: Hey thats what I tell girls about me.
Phoebe: (to the girls) Hi! Hi! Listen, my friend Ross is about to be divorced for the third time, but wouldnt you date him?
[Scene: The Morgan Chase Museum, the girls are entering.]
Monica: Come on! (The girls all run out and Joey holds up Chandler by smiling.)
Chandler: Uh, four, a boy, twin girls and another boy.
Monica: Ross used to stay up every Saturday night to watch Golden Girls!
Phoebe: Great! Okay then its just us girls!