words in movies
Chandler: (To Monica) Yeah, see, I can't pull of baby-doll can I?
Chandler: Oh! Good for you Pheebs, way to go! (Breathes a sigh of relief)
Phoebe: Because you are so afraid of commitment! You talk to him, make him scared like you! Make him a man!
Chandler: I'll try, but I'm not sure what good it would do, y'know? Because I'm a lot less afraid of commitment than I used to be.
Chandler: (To Phoebe, behind Monica's back) Still terrified, I'll take care of it. No problem. (When Monica turns back he smiles and kisses her, when she turns away he nods that he'll do it to Phoebe.)
(Joey turns and looks at quite possibly one of the ugliest pets that you can possibly buy on the planet. Rachel has bought herself a hairless cat. Yep, a hairless cat! Joey and Ross start to get sick.)
Rachel: All right listen ball boys! My grandmother had one of these when I was a little girl and it was the sweetest thing! I mean it was so cute, it would sit in my lap and purr all day long, and I would drag a shoestring on the ground and he would chase it!
[Scene: the 5th Precinct, Gary's precinct, Chandler has come to talk to him about commitment. And as he's walking through the door he notices a couple of "Ladies of the night" sitting there. (If you know what I mean.)]
Ross: now when they found the remains of the Mesozoic Mastodon they discovered what appeared to be the remains of a Paleozoic Amphibian in its jaws! How did it get there?!
Joey: Maybe this should be more of a quiet game.
[Time lapse, Monica has joined in and is calling to get out of work.]
Rachel: Oh, wow! Congratulations, that's quite a waste of time.
Rachel: You guys this cat is nothing like my grandmother's cat. I mean, it's not sweet, it's not cute, I even dragged that little string on the ground, and it just flipped out and scratched the hell out of me. And I swear, I know this sounds crazy, but every time this cat hisses at me I know it's saying, "Rachel!"
Phoebe: Ohh!! God! (Gary enters and she sees him) Ooh! (To Chandler) Get out of here, good for nothing.
Gary: (on the verge of tears) Yeah.
Chandler: All right, let me in. (He jumps off of the counter to join in the game.)
Monica: (jumping in front of him) No-no! Don't do it! Don't!
Chandler: Maybe that's because she's a minion of the anti-Christ.
Phoebe: I couldn't tell him no. He got so sad. Maybe it'll be all right. I do really like him a lot and probably do it eventually anyway and plus, think of all the money I'll save on stamps.
Phoebe: No, I just heard when people live together, they split the cost of stamps. Don't they?
(He takes her into one of those typical interrogation rooms you see on TV and in the movies. Which is really appropriate here, since this is a TV show. What are the odds of that?)
Gary: Phoebe, it's okay that you feel this way. I mean it is soon. And there's a lot of things we don't know about each other, and I just figure that everything I really like. And the things I don't know, I get to learn about at someplace with both our names on the mailbox.
Gary: Sweethart, but none of that matters if it's too soon for you. It's fine! We don't have to move in together. I justI want you to be happy
Phoebe: Oh wait, one sec. One sec. (Goes to the mirror) Hey you! Behind the glass! Who are you looking at! I've always wanted to say that when I was in one of these rooms, (sees the look on his face) which was never!
Rachel: Well, so then what are you doing to me? Okay? Just get out of here! All right? Move on!
Rachel: Well, I do, but you're just gonna have to actually look at this as more of an investment than a cat.
Monica: Rachel! What is your cat doing in one of my bowls!
Gunther: (To Ross) Hey! So what is this? Some kind of snake or something?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Hyper-competitive Monica, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Ross are still playing catch. Monica is finally tiring while the rest of them are totally exhausted and virtually asleep.]
Chandler: Y'know, how did I get this reputation as a dropper? Okay? I'm anything but a dropper. (We see various scenes of him dropping a football, a mug of coffee, the phone, an apple, a Frisbee, a record, and the final scene has a ball bouncing off of his chest. I'm not going to describe them, you'll have to see them.)
Rachel: (gasps) Its still there! (The cheesecake they returned to Mrs. Braverman is still lying in front of her door.)
Rachel: (to her) Hi! Im Rachel. This is Phoebe. Im the maid of honor. How do you know Monica?
Phoebe: I dontshe said yknow that Id have triplets! But she also said one of them would be black.
CHANDLER: Right now, right here. Don't ya think we're in kind of a public plaaaa [Susie grabs him under the table] They do have the shrimp.
Ross: Dad, dad, dad, I'm talkin' about the whole uh, baby thing. Did you uh, ever get this sort of... panicky, "Oh my god I'm gonna be a father" kind of a thing?
Chandler: I know, I know, I just always wondered if I could get her eyes to pop out of her head.
Ross: So its really a question of who could you have possibly done.
Chandler: My chair. Now, if anybody asks, your name is Rosita! (He runs out the door, grabs the back of Rosita, and we can hear Joey and Rachel talking as they are coming up the stairs. Neither of them have reached the landing yet.)
Joey: Rach we had to get out of there because, look what I won! (He whips out the award for Best Supporting Actress that he accepted for Jessica.)
Phoebe: Right, yeah, ok, I'll ask the butler to fetch my diamonds out of the vault.
Ross: No, NO! (they're moving to the side of the bed, where they sit down) Look, I need to talk to Joey. I mean, you guys just broke up. Before anything more happens between us, I need to know he's okay with it.
Steve: Chandler, you were the strongest person in the program. We're offering you the position of junior copywriter.
Rachel: Okay! (Joins the rest of the gang.)
Ross: So thats two of my wives.
Ross: Look, I gotta go pick up Ben. Everything so far sounds great Joey, just remember to keep it on the mellow side, okay? Just a couple of guys hanging out playing poker, no-no strippers or anything okay?
Rachel: Some of them.
Rachel: Oh, get out of here! (Jumps back and walks away.)
[Scene: The Dry Cleaners, Joey has brought in a bunch of laundry in another attempt to get his picture on the wall, but the dry cleaner isnt working right now. Instead, a beautiful woman is working.]
Phoebe: Yeah, but you've known Rachel since High School and you cannot just cut her out of your life.
Phoebe: Lusts of the flesh.
Ross: Yeah! Oh yeah, youll be fine! It-itll be uh, just like bungy jumping. Yknow? But instead of bouncing back up you-you wont.
The Flight Attendant: (To Rachel) Thank you! (Not sure of herself) Enjoy your flight?
ROSS: I meant because the monkey in it reminds me of Marcel.
[Scene: Ralph Lauren, Rachel is showing Chandler the selection of tuxedos.]
Monica: Honey, that's okay. I actually know this woman, Nancy, who's a restaurant biz head-hunter. Maybe she'll know of something.
Phoebe: Yeah! Yknow, we were really huge too, but then they had to shut us down when Regina Philange died of alcohol poisoning.
Chandler: (sitting down on the arm of her chair) You didnt think I used to wear glasses, right?
Phoebe: Thousands of times!! That doesnt make me sound too good does it?
Ross: Okay, well here we are. Now were in a tough spot again, Rach. What do you want to do? How do you want to handle it? Huh? Do you wanna fight for us? Or, do you wanna bail? (sits down next to her) Look, I, (on the verge of tears) I did a terrible, stupid, stupid thing. Okay? And Im sorry, I wish I could take it back, but I cant. (We see Monica and Phoebe are almost in tears.) I just cant see us throwing away something we know is so damn good. Rachel, I love you so much.
Host: Folks, has this ever happened to you. You go to the refrigerator to get a nice glass of milk, (Joey is in the background struggling to open a cartoon of milk) and these darn cartons are so flingin'-flangin' hard to open.
PHOEBE: OK, hi. For your information this is exactly what I wanted. This is a tattoo of the earth as seen from a great distance. It's the way my mother sees me from heaven.
Monica: Its kind of an important one!
Ross: Hey Gunther, can I get a couple of blueberry muffins to go? (He puts a bag with diapers in it on the counter.)
Phoebe: Of course! Yeah, I was uh, umm Thigh Mega Tampon.
Joey: Yes it is perfectly good, and it is not one of the places the duck got sick!
Joey: Oh, .. uh... uh... pass. (Next word: "Rotunda") Pass. (Next word: "Filibuster" stares at it a moment) Pass. (Henrietta is looking very confused) (Next word: "Addendum" 4 seconds remaining) Okay, the little thing that hangs down at the back of your throat.
ROSS: Well pal, you didn't give me much of a choice. [flicks the ends of the big bully's tie]
Joey: See, there was kind of a mix up in my agent's office, but I'm still on TV and that's good exposure.
Ross: All right then. (Gets up, in an announcers voice) Rachel Green! Lets play Bamboozled! (Reading from a note card.) How do you test the temperature of the babys bath water?
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica, Chandler, and Ross are seated. Rachel is walking over with coffee and a piece of pie.]
Monica: Of course.
Rachel: Oh my God youre amazing! Did you just pull that out of her purse?
Rachel: (worried) Be-cause Ross is the father of my child! You know... and I... want him to hook up with lots of women! (pause) I just... All I'm saying is... I don't think that Joey and Charlie have anything in common.
Chandler: But I made you a tape of what I think are all romantic songs.
Ross: Well look, I'm just trying to focus on the "I get to see my wife," part, all right? And not the part that makes me do this. (He takes a big swig of Pepto Bismol.)
Joey: Oh yeah, yeah! He's done tons of commercials. I've seen him in like Sugar Smacks, Playstation, and that one for the phone company. In fact he was so good in that one, he actually convinced me to switch phone companies. Chandler was mad .
Chandler: You dont have to stop having fun just because Im here. Kathy didnt cheat on all of you. (To Joey) Well, except you. (They hug and Chandler goes into the bathroom with the chick and duck following him.)
Chandler: No, it can mean anything. Like uh, all of the sudden you're jealous because I've become the apartment stud.
(Ross keeps giggling and Rachel decides upon revenge. She gets up and kisses the rather large man in the seat in front of Ross on the back of his head. The guy turns around angrily.)
Frank: I know! Why dont you get drunk! That worked for a lot of girls in my high school.
Joey: I would, but this is a nice place and my T-shirt has a picture of Calvin doing Hobbs.
Monica: Have you ever been to one of my weddings?
[Scene: Ross's apartment the next morning. Ross is very hung-over on the couch as Joey enters with a cup of coffee for him.]
Phoebe: (sips it) Its so good. (Monica and Rachel breath a sigh of relief.) Oh, thanks.
Ross: Oh, all right. (Joey flips the coin.) Tails! (The coin bounces off of the landing above them and falls to the ground.) Can you-can you see what it is?
Monica: Here! (She sets a bag down in front of him.)
{Transcribers Note: As with all the cliffhangers, there was no credits scene. There will be a ninth and final season of Friends starting sometime in September. See you then, have a good summer everyone.}
Chandler: Oh, it wasn't a big deal. I just went to a couple of bookstores, talked to a couple of dealers... called a couple of the author's grandchildren.
Kathy: Ahahaha... haha.. yes I can, of course. Excuse me.
Joey: Youve seen my huge stack of porn right? (Phoebe nods.)
MNCA: You know what? It seems like you've been making an awful lot of stuff Irish lately.
Ross: Wow! Great! (Finds a pack of cigarettes.) Wait, dad who-whos cigarettes are these?
Joey: No thats not it. They let me keep my key the last time they were out of town.
MONICA: This wasn't addressed to Days of Our Lives, this is, this came to your apartment. There's no stamp on it, this woman was in our building.
(Joey makes a sound like a game show wheel spinning with the pointer bouncing off of the bars on the wheel as it slows and comes to a stop.)
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler is returning from work to see the hallway jammed full of people waiting outside their door.]
Ross: (to Phoebe) Ranion's theory of species variegation?
Phoebe: But there's a whole table of mini-muffin baskets. Which one did you send?
RICHARD: Glad to be of help. Matches. [walks out to the balcony]
{Transcibers note: In case youre wondering, and I know you are. Their names are all back to normal. Just in a slightly smaller font than usual to allow Courteney Cox Arquette to fit on one line and not be smaller than the rest of their names. Now, on with the show }
Chandler: Oh, well... Maybe I'll join them some time. I just hope the club doesn't slip out of my hand and beat the moustache off his face.
Phoebe: Oh right, because youre so capable of change.
Russell: And well need to have witnesses who can testify that you were not of uh, sound mind.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey are there. Monica is holding a piece of paper.]
(Rachel looks bored. At this point, Rossa figment of Rachel's imagination shows up on the balcony and starts talking to her.)
Rachel: Well of course that is what Im here for!
[Scene: The lecture, Rachel is listening closely, Ross is bored out of his mind.]
Monica: Phoebe! But I could take one of those little feet and put it in a pita pocket.
Richard: Well of course I am!
Ross: Oh, why dont you make her one of your little jokes.
Monica: No, you�re right. Mnya, we shouldn�t do it like this. Huch. For what it�s worth, I�m, I�m sorry. I shouldn�t have come down on you so hard about the smoking. So you had a few cigarettes, not the end of the world.
JOEY: Well, I'm makin money now and this is payin' you back for head shots, electric bills, and so many slices of pizza I can't even count. I love ya man.
Richard: The picture of my wife! In your pack!
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is watching a show about the extinction of the dinosaurs.]
Phoebe: Plus, it totally ruined my schedule! I I havent done any of the things I wanted to do by the time I was 31!
[Scene, Monica and Chandlers, Chandler is there. Everything is out of its place and Chandler's cleaning.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. They are preparing to show Laura around. Laura is standing with her back to the window, Chandler and Monica are standing on either side of her, facing each other.
The Director: What kind of surgery?!
Ross: For what? For letting you throw me out of your office?
Ross: Then you are neither of your parents!
Monica: Ross is really strong! Okay, hes the strongest out of all three of you! (Joey looks at her.) Except for Joey.
Rachel: Oh, great could you make me four copies of those?
Ross: (he starts reading directly from his cards word for word very quietly) "There are three primary theories concerning sediment flow rate. Each of these theories can be further subcategorized into two distinct "
Rachel: Here you go Pheebs. Who else wants one of my special homemade brownies?
Director: Next on the platforms are (He points to the right of Ross and Monica, so they dance over to where hes pointing to. He points away from them) you two! And (He points the other way, and Ross and Monica follow his arm. Again he points away.) You two!
Joey: Yeah, well, I couldnt find any cards, so it was either this or Strip Bag Of Old Knitting Stuff.
Joey: You fell asleep!! There was no kangaroo! They didnt take any of my suggestions! Thats for coming buddy. Ill see you later. (Starts to walk out.)
Monica: Hey, the point is that he was at everyone of your swim meets and he was there cheering you on! Okay? Thats a, thats a pretty great dad.
Erica: Hey, well, in a couple of weeks I won't be able to travel.
Joey: (smiling) I don't know. This little, old lady lives for my career. When they dumped me off of Days of Our Lives she almost died.