words in movies
[Scene: Moondance Diner. Ross, Phoebe, Joey, and Chandler are sitting at the counter, Monica is working. Monica is wearing her costume, including big fake breasts.]
PHOEBE: Yeah, I agree. Ya know, I think fancy parties are only fun if you're fancy on the inside and I'm just not sure we are.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Ross, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are planning Rache's birthday party.]
PHOEBE: Why not her?
PHOEBE: I'm sorry, I didn't know.
PHOEBE: Ok, so I guess we don't invite her parents.
PHOEBE: Ooh, ooh, did you ask Stacy Roth?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Chandler, Joey, Monica, and Phoebe are setting up for the party.]
PHOEBE: Ok, here are the birthday candles. Where's the birthday cake?
MONICA: No, no, not a party. Just a surprise gathering of some people Rachel knows. Um, this is Phoebe and Chandler and Joey.
PHOEBE: And because you're both, you know, white women.
PHOEBE: [cutting Mrs. Greene off] Ha-ha, that's great, ha-ha. I can't wait to hear the rest of it, ya know, but I really have to go to the bathroom so... Hey, come with me. Yeah, yeah, it'll be like we're gal pals, ya know, like at a restraunt. Oh, it'll be fun, c'mon. [they go in the bathroom]
PHOEBE: Listen if you wanna go, just go.
PHOEBE: Alright, I can get you out.
PHOEBE: Shh. In a minute, I'm gonna create a diversion. When I do, walk quickly to the door and don't look back.
PHOEBE: Oh no, ooh, ooh, did somebody forget to use a coaster?
MONICA: What? [she runs over to where Phoebe is, Phoebe signals for Gunther to go] I don't see anything.
PHOEBE: Great, I'm seeing water rings again.
GUY: [to Phoebe] I hear you can get people out of here.
[Back in Monica's party. Phoebe is talking to a guy and two girls at the party.]
PHOEBE: Ok, ok, she's taking the trash out so I can get you out of here but it has to be now, she'll be back any minute.
PHOEBE: No, only the three of you, any more than that and she'll get suspicious.
PHOEBE: There isn't time. You must leave everything. They'll take care of you next door.
PHOEBE: Everything you've heard is true.
PHOEBE: [enters with the three people she got out] Ok, welcome to the fu-oh.
MONICA: Phoebe.
PHOEBE: Alright, I'm sorry but these people needed me. They work hard all week, it's Saturday night, they deserve to have a little fun. Go.
PHOEBE: Oh no, you're not supposed to be here. This is the staging area, you should, it's all wrong, you should leave, ya know, get out. [opens the door, the guys are right there] Or perhaps you'd like a creme d'menthe.
PHOEBE: Oh all right, then I guess we're going back into the hallway.
PHOEBE: Ok Rachel, make a special flan wish.
Phoebe: (singing) I found you in my bed! Howd you whined up there? You are a mystery! Little black curly hair! Little black curly hair! Little black, little black, little black, little black, little black curly hair
Phoebe: Okay. (Goes over to Rachel.) Hey Rach?
Phoebe: Hi!
Rachel: (to her) Hi! Im Rachel. This is Phoebe. Im the maid of honor. How do you know Monica?
Phoebe: Who the hell are all these people?
Phoebe: You were supposed to tell her!
Phoebe: Oh, okay, I'm sorry, thank you for my azzz.
Phoebe and Rachel: (to each other) I dont know.
Phoebe: No offence but, yknow sometimes its hard to understand you, yknow with the accent, so
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Joey and Phoebe are reading a scene from Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.]
Phoebe: Fine, Ill go call her.
Phoebe: Its so weird, I have never been fired from anything before!
Phoebe: Youre just so mean to each other! And I dont want to end up like that with Rachel. I still like you!
Phoebe: We ruined everything.
Phoebe: (rapidly) Im doing okay. I think its going well. Do you think theyre having fun? Am I talking to fast?
(they sit down and Roy plays "You Make Me Feel" by Sylvester on his boom box, and starts... With his back towards the girls, he starts waving his hands, then backs towards the girls slapping his butt, then swings it around, and makes thrusting pelvic movements in front of Phoebe. He dances around the tables in between all the girls, and gets back into the kitchen part of the room. He then tears off one of his sleeves and throws it towards Monica and Rachel, who fight over who gets it. He then tears off his other sleeve and moves it back and forth between his legs, getting closer to Phoebe.)
Phoebe: Yay! I love drunk Monica!
Phoebe: Cassie, are you finding everything okay in there?
Phoebe: I will tell you as soon as you thank me for writing my book.
Phoebe: (in her head) Say something! Say anything! Ask her out! Shes not your cousin!
Rachel: Oh My God, Phoebe, thats not Ralph Lauren. Thats Kenny the copy guy.
Phoebe: Sur-surprise.
PHOEBE: Oh yeah, it'll be fun. [throws a tennis ball at Eddie's bedroom door]
Phoebe: Ah-hah! At least we know its a him.
Phoebe: Oh! I wont say, no to a movie!
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: I got married! (everyone applauds) Could someone get me a coat, I'm freaking freezing.
Phoebe: Joeys!
Phoebe: Sure!
Phoebe: Lusts of the flesh.
Phoebe: What is this? Whats going on?
Phoebe: (laughs) Yeah, Im sure that happened.
Phoebe: Yeah.
Phoebe: To Ross.
Phoebe: So... now... What about with Mike's mom?
[Scene: A restaurant, Melissa, Rachel, and Phoebe are talking.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are sitting at the kitchen table, talking.]
Phoebe: Really?!
Rachel: Thank you Phoebe.
Phoebe: I know.
Phoebe: Cut her out of our lives! Just ignore her calls and dodge her 'till she gets the point!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe is watching Bert and Ernie with Ben.]
Phoebe: Thousands of times!! That doesnt make me sound too good does it?
[Scene: The hospital, Ross and Monica are in Phoebes room. Phoebe is in the bathroom and Monica notices smoke coming out from underneath the door.]
Ross: Were still married! Dont tell Rachel. See you later. (He gets up leaving Phoebe in shock.)
Phoebe: Oh we do, but not just yet.
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Well, its better than us deciding.
Phoebe: What?!
Phoebe: Oh! Yeah! (Monica glares at her.)
Phoebe: Oh, somewhere Joeys head is exploding.
Phoebe: All right. Although I dont think we need one, I never stopped loving you.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Yeah, youre right. Hows the Mrs.?
Monica: Come in! Come in! (Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe burst through the door.) Were engaged!!!
Ross: Phoebe thats not true.
Phoebe: Well, if you really wanna know, I'mOh! I can't tell you this.
Phoebe: Oh please, these guys, we haven't even moved in yet and they have us picking out china patterns. (Mike seems to gag a little...and laughs nervously. They begin to leave. Phoebe bolts back)
Phoebe: They live on the upper east side on Park Avenue!
Phoebe: Yeah, if you get married in Vegas, youre only married in Vegas.
Phoebe: Oh, if thats what you want you then you really should run his head under hot water and bang his head against a table.
Phoebe: CHANDLER AND MONICA!!!!
Rachel: Phoebe!! Phoebe!! It's okay!! It's okay!!
Phoebe: YOU KNOW?!!!
Phoebe: No. No! Yes! Ahh. Oh, would you look at that Monica? I just knocked off all of your top scores, how sad.
Phoebe: NO! THEY'RE DOING IT!!!
Phoebe: OH!! MY EYES!!! MY EYES!!!!
[Time lapse, Phoebe is playing the guitar for Joey.]
Phoebe: So. This has always been Monicas bed, what youre just noticing now, how self-involved are you?
Phoebe and Rachel: Ohhh!!!
Chandler: Phoebe knows about us!
Phoebe: No!
PHOEBE: OK. Ooh, OK, you gotta give me a second, I wanna get this just right. [she sticks out her gut, clears her throat and sniffs her nose and then in her best male voice. . .] Dude, 11 o'clock, totally hot babe checkin' you out. That was really good, I think I'm ready for my penis now.
Joey: Uhhh, Phoebe and Joey.
Phoebe: (Looking relieved. She puts down the phone.) Oh thank god. Oh, you changed your mind. Oh, look I know you probably want to be alone, and you dont want to talk about it, thats fine. I just want you to know, I think you are doing the right thing and...
Monica: (Start annoying hyper-competitive mode now.) (Jumping up) What don't you just calm down Phoebe! All right?! Why dont you just get all your facts before you run around telling everybody that you're the only hot couple!!
Phoebe: Okay, it just seems pretty wild and youre soyknow so vanilla.
Phoebe: Ooh.
Phoebe: And why not?!
Phoebe: You're-you're what?!
Phoebe: (starts to leave, but stops) Oh and Chandlers about to cry.
Phoebe: Hey.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Rachel and Monica are sitting at the dinner table and Phoebe enters, knocking on the door.]
Phoebe: Oh!
Phoebe: Okay.
Phoebe: (To Monica) Oh, thats beautiful.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is recovering from her haircut, Phoebe is playing her doctor and is coming in from the bedroom.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Monica: Phoebe, Im engaged!
Rachel: (humoring Phoebe) Oh my God, he dream-cheated on you!
Joey: Uh, okay Ill-Ill-Ill break it down. (He hands the phone to Phoebe, gets up, picks up a chair, and starts banging it on the floor.)
Phoebe: We're moving in together! Isn't it great! Yay!
Phoebe: Ooh, I think I wanna trade circles.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is reading a magazine as Tim enters.]
Phoebe: Hey sweetie!
Phoebe: Oh no! No-no! I understand the pain! Dont-dont hurt the puppy.
Phoebe: (sips it) Its so good. (Monica and Rachel breath a sigh of relief.) Oh, thanks.
PHOEBE: No. This is what I do for luck, ok.
Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Yeah!