words in movies
[Scene: Moondance Diner. Ross, Phoebe, Joey, and Chandler are sitting at the counter, Monica is working. Monica is wearing her costume, including big fake breasts.]
PHOEBE: Yeah, I agree. Ya know, I think fancy parties are only fun if you're fancy on the inside and I'm just not sure we are.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Ross, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are planning Rache's birthday party.]
PHOEBE: Why not her?
PHOEBE: I'm sorry, I didn't know.
PHOEBE: Ok, so I guess we don't invite her parents.
PHOEBE: Ooh, ooh, did you ask Stacy Roth?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Chandler, Joey, Monica, and Phoebe are setting up for the party.]
PHOEBE: Ok, here are the birthday candles. Where's the birthday cake?
MONICA: No, no, not a party. Just a surprise gathering of some people Rachel knows. Um, this is Phoebe and Chandler and Joey.
PHOEBE: And because you're both, you know, white women.
PHOEBE: [cutting Mrs. Greene off] Ha-ha, that's great, ha-ha. I can't wait to hear the rest of it, ya know, but I really have to go to the bathroom so... Hey, come with me. Yeah, yeah, it'll be like we're gal pals, ya know, like at a restraunt. Oh, it'll be fun, c'mon. [they go in the bathroom]
PHOEBE: Listen if you wanna go, just go.
PHOEBE: Alright, I can get you out.
PHOEBE: Shh. In a minute, I'm gonna create a diversion. When I do, walk quickly to the door and don't look back.
PHOEBE: Oh no, ooh, ooh, did somebody forget to use a coaster?
MONICA: What? [she runs over to where Phoebe is, Phoebe signals for Gunther to go] I don't see anything.
PHOEBE: Great, I'm seeing water rings again.
GUY: [to Phoebe] I hear you can get people out of here.
[Back in Monica's party. Phoebe is talking to a guy and two girls at the party.]
PHOEBE: Ok, ok, she's taking the trash out so I can get you out of here but it has to be now, she'll be back any minute.
PHOEBE: No, only the three of you, any more than that and she'll get suspicious.
PHOEBE: There isn't time. You must leave everything. They'll take care of you next door.
PHOEBE: Everything you've heard is true.
PHOEBE: [enters with the three people she got out] Ok, welcome to the fu-oh.
MONICA: Phoebe.
PHOEBE: Alright, I'm sorry but these people needed me. They work hard all week, it's Saturday night, they deserve to have a little fun. Go.
PHOEBE: Oh no, you're not supposed to be here. This is the staging area, you should, it's all wrong, you should leave, ya know, get out. [opens the door, the guys are right there] Or perhaps you'd like a creme d'menthe.
PHOEBE: Oh all right, then I guess we're going back into the hallway.
PHOEBE: Ok Rachel, make a special flan wish.
Phoebe: Who? Who is it?
Phoebe: Was that story over?
Phoebe: We dont know.
(Phoebe turns and looks at Monica, while Joey frantically motions to Chandler to help him out.)
[Scene: Phoebe Sr.s house, its right after she told Phoebe that shes her birth mother.]
(The gang moves off as Phoebe greets the new guest.)
Phoebe: Yeah I bet! Look out! (Phoebe punches Theodore right in the stomach)
Phoebe: Okay! All right! Yeah! Cause I just cant picture it.
Rachel: Oh Phoebe!
Phoebe: Really? Are you sure?
Phoebe: Oh my God, are you okay?
Phoebe: Rachel has something that she wants to tell you and umm, I believe that this is your red sweater.
(Phoebe and Rachel enter.)
Phoebe: What?!!
Phoebe: No!!
Phoebe: Bye Chandler! (She walks up to him.) (Quietly.) I miss you already. (She pinches his butt.)
Phoebe: Wait you stole those from these peoples wedding?
Monica and Phoebe: Oh my God!!
Phoebe: I'm so sorry!
Joey: (entering with Phoebe) Hey!
Phoebe: Yeah! Have a great honeymoon!
(She hugs him and he starts to hug her back but notices the look Phoebe is giving him and pushes her away.)
Phoebe: Okay. (The car moves a few feet and sputters to a stop.) Oh, no!
Phoebe: She is so amazing! You have no idea.
Phoebe: It was his sweater, butOh my God!
Phoebe: Me too! (Joins the hug.)
Phoebe: Not that way! But the bike brought you a lot closer!
Phoebe: Yeah, bye.
Phoebe: I really, really am sorry.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Phoebe are entering.]
Phoebe: Well, what am I gonna do? I really need my guitar!
Phoebe: No you didnt.
Phoebe: Okay. (Monica closes the door, gets the guitar, and then hands it out.)
Phoebe: What?! They took mine to give to you!
Phoebe: Maybe they dont trust us.
Phoebe: Oh she was looking for you.
Phoebe: What stuff?
Phoebe: What?
Phoebe: Did Rachel find you?
Phoebe: Well, she really wanted to talk to you now.
Phoebe: (deadpan) And?
(Phoebe and Joey trade looks)
Theodore: How could you know. Why wouldn't you punch me in the stomach? (Theodore walks out... Mike walks towards Phoebe)
Phoebe: Oh sorry. (Shocked) And?!
PHOEBE: Today we're gonna start with some songs about barnyard animals. [singing] Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo, Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo. Then the farmer hits him on the head and grinds him up, And that's how we get hamburgers. Nooowww, chickens!
Jake: (yelling through the window to Phoebe) I miss you already!!
Phoebe: Well why dont you use your key?
Rachel: What? Wait-wait a minute, what? Phoebe, what's the matter?
Phoebe: Im having another heart attack!
Phoebe: Yeah okay... yeah, your mom... okay... She looks nice, I can talk to her.
Phoebe: Oh, no! I- I can't drink this now!
Phoebe: Oh, Boy Scouts could've camped under it!
[Scene: continued from earlier, only now Phoebe joins them.]
Phoebe: Yeah, but not as good as batch 17.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is about to debut Hotel Monica (formerly known as Rachels Room) to Phoebe and Rachel.]
Phoebe: Oh no.
Phoebe: Oh my God, youve got to stop chattering!
Phoebe: Didnt you two already talk?
Phoebe: A little bit.
Phoebe: Oh Ross.
Phoebe: Uck, look at this! Pottery Barn, yuck!
Phoebe: We, you know, we’re different! We don’t care about having a huge party. (She picks up the veil) This is really nice for you, but, oh, please, I put this on? (she puts it on) And, ow, I look (she looks her reflex image on a toaster), why, well, radiant. (pause) All right, well, who cares, I don’t need a pretty veil and a fancy dress.
Phoebe: Yeah... Oh Bitsy, hi. Uhm... listen I just wanted to thank you again for having me here tonight.
Phoebe: When she comes out, you hold her nose, Ill blow in her mouth, and the kid will just (makes a popping sound) right out of her.
Phoebe: Let's just say, I'm glad I'm not Chandler.
Phoebe: Also uhm... I just want you to know what a wonderful man your son is.
Phoebe: Hey! So how was the doctor?
Phoebe: Good.
Phoebe: Oh.
Phoebe: Hi!
Phoebe: So how was the honeymoon?
Phoebe: Come on in!
(Mischa does so, and Sergei complements Phoebe, and says it slowly)
Phoebe: You have got to be kidding me!
Phoebe: Monica! Thats not right! Start with where.
Phoebe: (pauses as he figures out how to answer that) Because Im normal! That was the one legacy my grandmother left me, and I know you wanted it as an engagement present.
Mike: Look Phoebe, It's not about you. I just never wanna get married again.
(Joey and Phoebe laugh.)
Phoebe: (entering) Hi, sorry I'm late, I couldn't find my bearings.
Phoebe: Hmm, I wonder why. Pervert!
PHOEBE: I don't know, it's just, you know...monkeys, Darwin, you know, it's a, it's a nice story, I just think it's a little too easy.
Chandler: (to Phoebe) I hit her in the eye! I hit her in the eye! This is the worst break-up in the history of the world.
Phoebe: Well, it's a problem for me, which means it's a problem for you 'cause I'm a cop. (Shows the badge.)
Phoebe: (sits down) Yeah, I feel great. 'Cause we're moving in together.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey enters with several magazines and runs up to Phoebe.]
Phoebe: Okay! Ooh-ahh, I'm gonna go pack. I'm gonna go pack my ass off!
Phoebe: No, that would be, "Why are you being cute?"
Phoebe: (To Joey) Okay quick, help me get this off! (Motions to her top.)
Phoebe: (in a very posh accent) Theodore... Bitsy... What a delight!
Joey: (To Phoebe) Im so happy!
Phoebe: Youre gonna get pregnant.
Phoebe: Ah! Oh my God! You r-r-rotten boys!
Phoebe: Oh, you came on to Ross!
[Monica gives Phoebe a surprised expression and goes over to Ross and Chandler.]
Phoebe: And Joey, get me a bottle of wine and glasses? (He begrudgingly does so.)
Phoebe: Dinner was good!
Phoebe: Hey!
(He looks up at her face and Phoebe, slipping out of character, smiles back at him. Joey's voice becomes soft and warm.)
Phoebe: Oh, so you're Monicas boss?
Phoebe: Well, one of you has to take the first step! And it should be you, because shes the one whos leaving. Its harder for her!