words in movies
Rachel: Pheebs? Could you get that? Please?
Rachel: No! No! It's just that all the people in the entire world that I want to talk to are right here.
Chandler: (To Phoebe) Is that Joey?! (She nods yes) Let me talk to him!
Phoebe: Who was that?
Joey: Uhh Pheebs, I heard that. Can you put him on?
Chandler: No-no-no-no, I've supported you one hundred percent and I want to prove that to you in person!
Joey: I got that! I forgive ya! Don't come out here!
Chandler: Uh, what was that?
Joey: Uh, Entertainment Tonight. [Cut to Chandler] Yeah, okay so, good talking to ya and don't come out here. All right. (Hangs up the phone and poses for that picture.)
Monica: Okay, you can not tell Chandler. Okay? That I ran into Richard.
Phoebe: Oh! Okay, that actually makes more sense. So how was it?
Phoebe: That is so weird! I had a dream that you'd have lunch with Richard.
Monica: Because it would totally freak him out and tomorrow's our anniversary. I just don't want anything to spoil that.
Rachel: Oh no, wait a minute, wait, I've got a presentation tomorrow. I can't miss that.
Ross: Is that supposed to be an insult?
Rachel: That sounds great.
Rachel: Okay. Yeah, that would be nice actually, to have the apartment to myself for a night.
[Scene: An airplane cabin, Phoebe has the aisle seat, Chandler the window, and Monica's stuck in that horrible middle seat.]
Chandler: Ohh that's the worse thing that can happen on an anniversary ever!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is coming out of the bathroom after a shower wearing only her bath robe, walks into the kitchen, and opens the fridge. As she bends over to grab a bottle of wine, her robe falls open (Damn this network primetime programming, we didn't see anything!) and she quickly closes it again. But then realizes she didn't have to do that. So she closes the fridge and stands next to the table, thinks about it for a little while and ]
Rachel: (takes off her robe) Oh! Look what happened! {Don't get your hopes up guys, we only get to see her from the back or from the neck up. Its times like these I wish that the networks would broadcast some nudity other than Denis Franz's butt.} (In her head.) Huh, check me out! I'm in my kitchen naked! I'm picking up an orange. (Does so) I'm naked! (Goes into the living room) Lighting the candles, naked, and carefully. (She backs anything that might have a point like a candle on her body away.)
Ross: (in his head) Oh my God! That's Rachel naked! I can't look at that! I am looking at this. (Looks back at his book.) Okay, vivid colors, expressive brush strokesUnless she wants me to be looking at that. She knows I'm home. She knows I can see her. What kind of game is she playing? I think maybe someone's lonely tonight. Oh-ho, Dr. Geller! Stop it! You're being silly! Or, am I?
[Cut back to Monica and Rachel's apartment, Rachel is singing along with a song and dancing while facing the big picture window. Y'know, I think I'd pay real good money to be on the other side of that window!]
Rachel: And um, what-what is that Ross?
[Scene: Las Vegas, we have the typical glamour shots of Vegas, the Strip, slot machines, a couple other gaming tables all set to the tune of you guessed it, Money. Anyhoo, we finally get through that and watch Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe enter Caesar's Palace carrying their luggage.]
Monica: I knew you were not okay with that.
Phoebe: Noo! But that would've been so cool!
Rachel: (taking off her sweater) Okay umm, Ross? I'm-I'm really warm, so I'm going to be taking off my sweater. Now, I'm just letting you know that this is not an invitation to the physical act of love.
Rachel: Okay. All right, that's true! But y'know I just don't embarrass that easily.
Ross: Is that so?
Ross: (loudly so that everyone can hear) Hey lady! I don't care how much you want it! Okay?! I am not gonna to have sex with you in the bathroom! (Rachel sinks lower on her chair trying to hide.)
[Scene: Chandler's hotel room, he's sitting there with Joey who's talking about his helmet and running his hand through that feathery thing at the top.]
Joey: Yeah-yeah, he was playing blackjack for like an hour and he won $5,000. Can you believe that? $5,000!
Joey: Wait a minute! Why don't I do what that guy did? I'll take this $100 and turn it into $5,000! And then I'll turn that into enough money to get my movie going again!
Phoebe: So go fix it! Go find Chandler! He's probably up in your room! Tell him that you're sorry and that you love him.
Ross: (to the guy in the window seat next to him) Hey! Y'know that teacher who had a baby with her student? (He points at Rachel.)
Rachel: (to the flight attendant who appears in record time. It was only seconds after Rachel pushed the call button was she there. Once again, more proof that TV isn't real, IRL she would've been waiting for the rest of the flight and by then Ross's pants would be dry.) Hi!
Joey: Dont you see what this means?! I can forget about that stupid movie. I'm gonna be a millionaire!
Chandler: (Pause) Y'know, I-I can't really put a price on that Joe.
Chandler: That was Joey!
Phoebe: I wonder where she is. That is so weird.
Phoebe: Would you stop that! Do you wanna know the first thing she said when she came back from her lunch with Richard? She didn't feel anything for him. She loves you!
[Scene: That same plane cabin, Ross is working on a crossword puzzle and Rachel is asleep against his shoulder. She shifts a little bit and Ross suddenly gets an idea. An evil idea when he looks at his pen. Then we have a little time lapse, the plane has landed and everyone is disembarking. The flight attendant is saying bye-bye to everyone.]
Ross: I think the check in is that way. (Points)
Ross: Rach! Wait! The men's room is that way. (Points in the other direction. Rachel hits him with her purse and heads for the ladies room.)
Phoebe: That's like the third time that lady's won on a machine I was playing.
Monica: What? Wait! Why? (He turns and heads for the door and she chases after him.) Chandler! Chandler! Wait! Im sorry, I was just playing for one second! I was trying to find you to tell you that, look if you don't want me to see Richard again, I won't! He means nothing to me!
The Woman Dealer: I don't know about the hands, but the guy that was here before me just went to the bathroom.
Ross: Oh, come on! Rach, it's-it's not that bad.
Ross: Oh, hey y'know, they-they really overcharge you for that stuff. (Rachel glares at him.) But who cares?! Because it's all on me! (Rachel reaches into the fridge and pulls out two handfuls of those mini booze bottles.) (Watching her.) That is, one big drink!
Monica: Pick a number! That is your only job!
Chandler: Okay, so if an eight comes up, we take it as a sign and we do it! {Whoa! Where have I heard that before? Matthew Perry talking about signs in Las Vegas. I guess it must've been some movie I saw.} What do you say?
Monica: Nobody move! (To Chandler) Okay, you look that way; I'll look this way!
Monica: That could be a four or a five. It's your call.
The Lurker: I don't want to see you lose a chunk of that pretty blond hair!
Ross: That must be our alcohol and beers! (Gets up to answer it.)
Ross: Ohh, here's that Macadamia nut!
(They've made their way to the statue of the naked man that Chandler was leaning against earlier.)
[Scene: The slot machines, we see some guy not having any luck. Both Phoebe and the Lurker are lurking him and each stick their heads around the corner at different times This is all set to that Pink Panther song. Finally the guy gives up and walks past the lurker's position, thus giving her the advantage. She scurries in and quickly drops a coin in the slot before Phoebe gets there. Phoebe arrives slightly later and pulls the arm just after the lurker deposits the coin and wins.]
The Lurker: I won! That was my quarter!
The Security Guard: (To Phoebe) Is that true miss?
Phoebe: No! No, you can't arrest me! No!! I won't go back! I won't go back to that hell hole!!
Joey: (throws down a small wad of money, and as his hand twin starts to unfold it, Joey once again brings attention to their special gift to the world. {Y'know, looking at it now, they really don't have that similar of hands. Joey's are bigger.}) Ooh-ho-ho! (The dealer stares at him and he stops.)
Phoebe: Oh my God! May I just say that you two gentlemen have the exact same hands! They're identical! Now, I've never seen anything like that in the business world.
Chandler: Oh, that's The Wedding March. Does, does that freak you out?
Chandler: You're not supposed to take that. Besides, it's a New Testament, what are you gonna do with it?
Phoebe: Not even if you just pretend that it's milk?
Phoebe: ...and then it goes back to the chorus... Smelly cat, Sme-lly ca-t / I-t's not your fau-lt. And that's the end of the song... I realise that you didn't ask to hear it, but uhm... no-one had spoken in seventeen minutes.
Phoebe: God. Do think it really doesnt hurt? Cause how can they do that?
Chandler: Thats Thats was
Joey: You bet I do! I just ah, wasnt listening then, thats all.
Monica: She said that?!
CHANDLER: Well, she looks the exact opposite of that.
ROSS: Thank you Gunther. We didn't want to have to go and do that.
ROSS: No, no, I mean, ya know, I, I read a book and there was a girl named Emily and I thought, I thought that might be good.
Ross: Yeah? I can use that, trick hip, no cup, okay! Okay!
Ross: Yeah! Yeah, Emily always wanted to get married in this beautiful place that her parents got married, but its going to be torn down, so I mean, I-I know its crazy, but everything up til now has been so crazy, and I dont know, this just feels right. Yknow?
Mr. Geller: Ohh, I thought that you....
Chandler: Alright, Janice, that's it! Janice... Janice... Hey, Janice, when I invited you to this party I didn't necessarily think that it meant that we-
Monica: Can I ask you guys a question? D'you ever think that Alan is maybe.. sometimes..
Chloe: Thats so great for you guys!
Chandler: See, thats why I could never be an actor. Because I cant say gig.
Joey: I promise. And that means, never having to give a reason. (Phoebe stops herself from laughing and leaves)
Emily: Thats just halftime, theres more of this.
Monica: Thats right. (A noise comes from the living room.) Did you hear something?
Monica: No-no. Nothing wrong about that.
Monica: That really means a lot. Oh, and Mom, dont bite your nails.
Chandler: Thats a low one!
Monica: Aw, Im sorry sweetie that she doesnt feel the same way.
Joey: I like that! (To Phoebe) Oh, okay! Show him your bra! He's afraid of bras! Can't work 'em! (He swiftly rips open the front of Phoebe's dress revealing her bra.)
Chandler: So, the fact that I am a doctor, and my wife’s a reverend, that’s important to you?
Chandler: Oh my God! If you say that one more time, Im gonna break up with you!
Chandler: You really think that is what he meant?
RACHEL: Ya know, in crazy world, that means you're married.
Monica: (Interrupting) Oh, what about that guy over there? (She points at another guy and Gunther is deflated.) Remember? That is the guy you flirted with at the counter that time.
Emily: What was all that about?
Joey: Man, we gotta do something about that guy. This morning, I caught him looking into our apartment. It creeps me out! I feel like I can't do stuff!
Phoebe: Oh thats so great! Ohh, so whats going on now?
RICHARD: Guys. Seriously, it is not like that.
Rachel: Well of course we will help you decide! We will do anything we can to help you! Now, I would like to make a toast, to the future Mrs. Chandler Bing (A woman at the table behind them overhears Chandlers name and starts listening closer), my best friend, and truly one of the nicest people that
Chandler: Thats a good idea, Dear Janice have a Hubba-Bubba birthday. I would like to get her something serious.
Chandler: Yeah, thats like the most ugliest dress Ive ever seen. Wh-why do you to return it?
Joey: Well, that went well. Yeah.
Monica: Umm, when I said that uh, that Chandler and I wanted to umm, live together we meant alone together.
Rachel: Are you kidding?! With the, with the lilies, and-and the song, and the stars! It was really wonderful! Did you just make that up?
Joey: Does that mean we have to bust it open?
Monica: Thats true.
Earl: No! Thats just the "Hey Guy" guy. He says that to everybody! Hes the worst! Id like to take him with me!
Rachel: Well, look at that, same thing.
Monica: Y'know what, dont tell us. Well just wait until Chandler gets home, (to Phoebe) because itll be more fun that way.
Monica: No time for that!
Rachel: Oh no-no-no-no-no, I'm still waiting to hear from that job and the store closes at nine, so you can eat then.
It only takes two heart attacks to finally make you see One of them wont do it, but the second one will set you free Tell all your hate and anger, its time to say good-bye And that is just what I will do, soon as those bastards I work for die! La, la-la-la, la-la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
Earl: Well I only have one thing to do today. (He looks at his board in his office that reads, "Todays Tasks: KILL SELF.") I guess I could push it back.
Monica: Umm, I just wanna say, uh (reads from a 3 X 5 card) that with a pinch of exictement, a dash of hard work, a dollup of cooperation, we can have the recipe... (Looks up and sees eveyone glaring at her) Are you gonna kill me?
Big Nosed Rachel: Well, you know that my parents are out of town and Chip was going to come over
Phoebe: Um-hmm, thats good to know. But lets stop focusing on what you dont do, and start focusing on what you do do.
Pete: ...so y'know, thats why, within a few years, that voice recognition is gonna be pretty much standard on any computer you buy. Y'know, so you could be like-like, Wash my car. Clean my room. Its not gonna be able to do any of those things, but itll understand what youre saying.
Monica: I'll get it! (She runs in, and she's her old fat self like The One With The Prom Video. Not only that, she's out of breath after running a short distance. She goes over and opens the door to reveal Rachel with her old nose.) Happy Thanksgiving!
Monica: (laughs) Thats okay.
Monica: That counts!
Ross: Umm, I'm sorry Judy, I couldn't find that bowl that you and Jack were looking for.
Phoebe: Yay! Its so exciting! Wow, you couldve done that with us there.
Cecilia: So, the essence of the character is rooted in her confidence. So, when Jessica enters a room for instance, she owns everything and every person in that room. (Joey is nodding.) You try.
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Right, well look, um, if Joey loses this audition, that is it for Estelle. I don't care! Annie you are a doll, what time can you see him?' (to Monica) I need a pen. (Chandler hands her one, but she needs something to right on, so she tilts Chandler's head over and writes on the back of his neck)
Ross: I get it! Well, thats that.
Phoebe: You keep the old ones in the back, that is so ageist.
Chandler: Wow! That ripped! That ripped real nice!
Joey: That was good beer.
Monica: Chandler, thats like your fourth cup of coffee!
Monica: Your a poet and don't know it. (she turns away and makes a face like 'I can't believe I just said that.')
Rachel: Honey, thats youre name.
Phoebe: No thats what you do when you want to get the truth out of someone.
Mrs. Geller: Jack, thats what they call the subway.
Phoebe: Well, Im ready to get the hell out of here! (Sees Ross and Rachel cuddling on the couch.) Oh. Are you? Are you?!! (they nod Yes.) Ohh! Thats so great!! Ooh, not for Bonnie. (they nod No.) But for you, yay! Ohh.
Rachel: What's that? (Points to the box.)
Earl: (To All) Did you hear that?! I dont need you guys to care about me! Because the universe cares! The whole universe! (Laughs as everyone ignores him.) (To Phoebe) I really wished theyd care just a little bit though.
Rachel: No well, no it's not that bad, y'know? I mean yeah, my tongue feels a little fuzzy and these fingers sort of smell, I actually feel like I can throw up.
ROSS: [to Joey who's looking over a toilet stall] Joey, some people don't like that.
Rachel: Why? Why not?! People love to hear that!
Ross: Look, would you guys grow up? That is the most natural beautiful thing in the world.
Monica: Oh my god! Did you hear that? She said Monica! (She goes back to Clunkers again) Oooh, I can't leave her!
Phoebe: Because it was fate that made me call you today!
Ross: Come on! Like I wanted him to tell you, I ran all over the place trying to make sure that didnt happen!
Ross: So Im thinking about asking Rachel out tonight. Y'know maybe play her that song we wrote last week.
Ross: That is what the thing is.
Rachel: The thing is y'know, that you're married to Emily.
Rachel: I know. At dusk. Thats such a hard time for me.
Monica: Oh thats a great idea. Youre really good on the phone.
Chandler: You can say that because she's not your mom.
Joey: Yeah. But I thought that was because I put the whole thing on my hand and made it walk across the table.
Ross: Yeah, and-and it's not that we don't like the comedian, it's that-that... that's not why we bought the ticket.
Rachel: Ross, that was a Halloween costume, unless you would like me to go to this thing as Little Bo Peep.
Chandler: Dude, don't do that too me!
Ross: Again, it's not that he
Rachel: Wait a minute! Wait a minute! I'm not saying that you shouldnt have a bag, I justit's just there are other bags that are a little less umm, (Pause) controversial.
Rachel: Yeah, and yknow what? I love them both, so why dont you just pick one and thatll be it.
Chandler: Why not, just because his great-grandmother was obese, our kids are gonna get that from you anyway!
Gym Employee: You do realize that you wont have access to our new full service Swedish spa.
Chandler: (to Ross) Maybe you do that next time you get married!
Chandler: Yeah, actually. So, you read a file that you liked and you gave the agency the serial number and they contacted us?
Monica: Wait, what that place, that pub he took us too?
Cassie: I guess the last time we really hung out was when our parents rented that beach house together.
Chandler: No, it's not that, I just don't want to be stuck here all night with your fat sister.
Phoebe: Yeah, that does make sense. Ok, now, would... would you two (points to Ross and Chandler) like that?