words in movies
MONICA: Money is so impersonal. Cookies says someone really cares. . . Alright, we're broke, but cookies do say that.
PHOEBE: I can see that. A plate of brownies once told me a limerick.
MONICA: Ross, that is gorgeous!
CHANDLER: Nah, Phoebs, that's the guy that comes in the frame.
PHOEBE: No, that's my stepdad. My real dad's the one that ran out on us before I was born.
PHOEBE: It's not a blue screen... it's just, maybe it was just really clear that day. OK, I have to talk to my grandmother. [turns to leave]
PHOEBE: Ya know, in all the years that we have been grandmother and granddaughter, you have never lied to me.
GRANDMOTHER: Alright, that is not your father, that's just a picture of a guy in a frame.
PHOEBE: OK, that makes no sense. Why would the villagers worship a pharmacist?
GRANDMOTHER: Anyway, that's all I know. That, and this. [pulls apart a frame and pulls a picture out] This is the real him.
RACHEL: Well, that doesn't sound like a very merry Christmas.
CHANDLER: Don't you have to be Claymation to say stuff like that?
JOEY: Monica, pigeons learn faster that you.
ROSS: Hey, Rach, you know what? I think, I think I know what'll make you feel better. How 'bout you make a list about me. RACHEL: Wha... forget it Ross, no, I am not gonna stand here and make a list of. . . ROSS: C'mon Rachel. RACHEL: OK, you're whiney, you are, you're obsessive, you are insecure, you're, you're gutless, you know, you don't ever, you don't just sort of seize the day, you know. You like me for what, a year, you didn't do anything about it. And, uh, oh, you wear too much of that gel in your hair. ROSS: See there, you uhh, alright, ya, you did what I said. RACHEL: Yeah, and you know what? You're right, I do feel better, thank you Ross. [she walks off and Ross puts his hand to his hair] [Scene: Back at Phoebe's. She is on the phone] PHOEBE: Yeah, um, in Albany, can I have the number of Frank Buffay. . . OK, um, in Ithica. . . alright, um, Saratoga. . . Oneonta. Alright, you know what, you shouldn't call youself information. [hangs up] [Phoebe's grandmother enters] GRANDMOTHER: Hey. PHOEBE: Hello grandma, if that is in fact your real name. GRANDMOTHER: C'mon now Phoe, don't still be mad at me. How's it going? PHOEBE: Well, not so good. Upstate's pretty big, he's pretty small, you do the math. GRANDMOTHER: Well, I think you're better off without him. Oh honey, I know he's your daddy but, but to me he's still the irresponsible creep who knocked up your mom and stole her Gremlin. PHOEBE: No I just, just wanted to know who he was, ya know. GRANDMOTHER: I know. OK, I wasn't completely honest with you when I told you that, uh, I didn't know exactly where he lived. PHOEBE: Whattaya mean? GRANDMOTHER: He lives at 74 Laurel Drive in Middletown. If you hit the Dairy Queen, you've gone too far. You can take my cab. PHOEBE: Wow. Thank you. GRANDMOTHER: Now, remember, nobody else drives that cab. PHOEBE: Uh-huh, got it. Ooh, I'm gonna see my dad. Wish me luck, Grandpa! [blows a kiss to a picture of Einstein]
PHOEBE: Oh, no no, that side doesn't have one, the paramedics had to cut through it. [Chandler jumps out of the car]
ROSS: [sitting at table talking to a girl] It's hard to tell because I'm sweating, but I use exactly what the gel bottle says, an amount about the size of a pea. How, how can that be too much?
ROSS: No no, no, that, that's your Christmas tip, alright. Oh, hey, do you think there's a chance you could fix that radiator now?
RACHEL: Huh-huh, no act--no, uhh, that, that is basil.
MONICA: Hey, we could have used that kind of thinkin' earlier.
PHOEBE: Ahh, toilet seat covers! Is that what you were doing while I was getting gas?
Janine: Well, if thats what you want. Ill just put it all in my room.
Richard: Yeah, well, sure I touch them, but I spent years learning not to squish them. (Monica grabs his hand in the tomatoes.) Thats my hand.
Monica: (Tiny laugh) yep, that's me, (tiny laugh) I am that stupid (tiny laugh).
Monica: (entering, to Joey and Rachel) Hey, did you guys know, that your oven doesn't work?
Monica: Noo!! The point is that is was you that was there that night! It is you that I am marrying! It is you that I feel in love with!
Monica: That’s right. You’re making a commitment and that’s the same, whether you do that at the Plaza or, where are you gonna do it?
Chandler: Yeah, we were just talking about that. I can't believe how stupid we used to look. (They both quickly push their sleeves over their elbows.)
Jill: Oh my gosh, that was so lame. Like a pajmena could be a rug!
Rachel: Yeah, I got that.
Passenger #1: Okay, that doesn't sound good.
Chandler: Y'know, I don't know if you've ever looked up the term goofing around in the dictionary... Well, I have, and the technical definition is, two friends who care a lot about each other and have amazing sex and just wanna spend more time together. But if you have this new fangled dictionary that gets you made at me, then we have to, y'know, get you my original dictionary. I am *so* bad at this.
Monica: (as Rachel) Hi, Dad. No, no, it's me. (Getting up to move further away from Rachel) li-listen, Dad, I can't talk right now, um, but there's something, um... there's something that I've been meaning to tell you...
Chandler: No. I mean I believe that uh, certain people are more suited for each other and I believe in falling in love, but soul mates, I dont think they exist.
Ross: No, I just think Monica was that fat.
Joey: I'm tellin' ya that girl totally winked at me.
Chandler: Well the vet seems to think thats shes becoming a rooster. (The rooster crows.) Were getting a second opinion.
Phoebe: (running up) Okay. Okay, heres what were gonna do. Okay, Im gonna break into this mini-van and put it in neutral. You guys push it forward so Ross can drive out of his spot. Okay? All right, here we go. (She opens her coat and reveals that thing car thieves use to break into cars as Ross jumps in behind the wheel. She inserts the device, unlocks the door, opens it, and the alarm goes off.) Haul ass!!!! (Runs off.)
Ross: So, you gals wanna hand over your money now? That way, we don't have to go through the formality of actually playing.
Phoebe: Well, so what I like him! Do I make fun of the people youve dated? Tag, Janice, Mona? No, because friends dont do that. But, do you want my opinion? Do you want it? Cause in my opinion, your collective dating record reads like the whos who of human crap. (Walks off)
JOEY: Oh, no no, that's the beauty part, it goes with everything. [gets the bracelet from the drawer] You put this on, you're good to go. [puts the bracelet on Chandler] Ohhh man, you are so wearin' that bracelet.
Joey: Won't-won't that take longer?
Joey: Thats great! That would be great! Lets do that!
PHOEBE: Yeah, eight of them. That's 56 to him. You know also, if, if it's raining, you can't let him look up too long 'cause that cone'll fill up really really fast.
Rachel: Well, y'know, a little of this, a little of that. Got myself a date tomorrow night.
Joshua: Yeah, that would be fantastic! My-my nephew is crazy about the Knicks! This is fantastic, thank you so much Rachel. (He takes the tickets and leaves as Mr. Waltham returns.)
Phoebe: Thank you. Can you believe no-one between my apartment and here offered to do that for me?
Ross: That is so made up!
The Fan: That was Phoebe Buffay, the porn star.
Chandler: Thats what you should say.
CHANDLER: Believe me, sometimes that happens.
Phoebe: That is.
Phoebe: Oh thats not so bad.
Chandler: When youre marrying us; thats what you should say.
Rachel: (laughs) Well, I mean, are you sure you want to go out with her? I mean that aint a pretty picture in the morning, yknow what I mean. That wig all in disarray, and boobs flung over the night stand, y'know.
Phoebe: Oh my God, thats so freaky! Turn him off!!
Rachel: Ross, I didn't think it would that big of a deal.
Phoebe: Oh, I know a way that you can decide! All right, I'm going to ask you a series of questions and you answer as quickly as you can.
Rachel: Okay, now what was that all about? Is it-does it not taste good? Let me try it.
ROSS: He won't? [remembers what it is] He won't! Because, isn't that, isn't that the, the short story you were writing?
Jen: Sure, I'll just get my coat. (There's a knock on the door.) Could you get that?
Jason: I was passin by and I saw that you were playing tonight, its kinda cool seeing you up there. (kisses her)
Phoebe: Oh God! Is that veal?
Monica: Yeah.. uh, but for future reference, that thing in your hand can also be used as a phone.
Joey: Im not wrong! I wish I was. Im sorry. Bet that barium enema doesnt sound so bad now, huh?
Ross: So what, Joey? Wh-wh-what? What are you telling me? That theres nothing we can do? Well, how could this happen?!
Caitlin: Oh my God! That was flirting?!
CHANDLER: Oh, come on. I can never get a girl like that with conventional methods.
Woman: Oh my God. That sounds amazing. I would love to see pictures.
Rachel: Hey, now wait a minute! I get when you told people at first that you wanted to be an actor they laughed at you! Now come on Bobby, why dont you tell us a little bit about your band?
Chandler: I do like that.
Chandler: (thinks) Thats the perfect amount!
Gunther: Thats the whole part?
Phoebe: Uh, wow! Isn't it ironic that he liked you and now you like him?
Ross: Okay. Yeah, I guess, I guess I could do that too.
Mrs. Lynch: I notice that youve been trusted with a lot of rather important responsibilities.
Chandler: Yeah... I just don't have that much cheffing experience. Unless it's an all-toast restaurant.
Joey: Yeah, you dont want that.
(Monica and Ross indicate that they mean right now.)
Roger: Well, I don't know. I mean, it's conceivable that you wanted to sabotage your marriage so that the sibling would feel less of a failure in the eyes of the parents.
Phoebe: No-no! Thats okay, well just start over. Okay? Hi! Im Phoebe.
Ross: Try telling my wife that.
Monica: Why would you do that?
Joey: No it isnt, I ate that.
Phoebe: (singing) ...fuchsia and mauvvve. Those are the 66 colours of my bedroommmm. (applause) Thank you, thank you. Ohh, and I invite you to count the colours in your bedroom. (Sees that Phoebe Sr. has entered, and to her) Except for you. You go away.
LITTLE BULLY: I just took your hat. See, I can be funny too. My, my joke is that I, I took your hat.
Chandler: Wow, you'd think we should get that over 20 years or go for the big payout.
Joey: I knew that! (They all look at him) I sooo didnt know that, but you should see your faces.
Ross: Um, see, but thats not the final draft.
Ross: I know and I was going to, but I thought it was better that you heard it from Rachels father. Look I I made a mistake, but its only because I really, really like you. Really!
Phoebe: What is that?
Rachel: Aw, I love that.
Ross: All right, thats it! (He runs over to Ben, but he runs past him and out the door.) Comeyouno! You are in big trouble young man!
Ross: (holds up a hand) Little girl misses her cat. (hold up the other hand) Crazy lady thinks her mother is in a cat. (gets up) Okay, y'know what, I have to go have dinner with my son, can I trust that when you see Phoebe, you will tell her.
Rachel: What the hell was that?!
Rachel: Yeah thats great Paul, but yknow I wanna know what(Puts her hands on his shoulders)Wow, those are really great! I just wanna know what, what is behind this-this strong, silent exterior. Yknow they say that still waters run deep and I wanna swim in yours.
Joey: Come on Treeger, dont say that. You just ahh, you just need more practice. Here, come on, lets ahh, lets try it again. Come on. (they start dancing again) Plus, it was, it was probably mostly my fault, anyway. I mean, yknow, Im not really that comfortable dancing with a(Treeger throws him) We-he!! Hey!
Joey: Thats what that was?! Cause that other thing? I thought you were on to something, but it did nothing for me.
Rachel: Was that all you wanted to ask me?
Mike: hey wait wait wait wait wait! Is that true what you said Phoebe's never had a serious relationship?
Ross: What? (She takes the sign off and hands it to him.) Thats great. That is great. (Crumples up the paper and throws it down in anger.) What did we just finish talking about Ben?!
Chandler: Sure! Just give me a second to get all huffy and weird like you! Do you believe that who everdid something over here last night did what they did or didn't do ...I mean come on!!
Rachel: Oh no-no-no, no-no-no, thats not what I meant.
Phoebe: So you dont know thats Barneys the store! That can be yknow his friends house, or a bar. Who has Barneys the store on their speed dial?
EDDIE: Oh yeah, that's right, look I got us a new goldfish. He's a lot fiestier that the last one.
JOEY: [to a wedding guest] How's that pig-in-the-blanket workin' out for you? [the guy nods] I wrapped those bad boys.
Joey: Thats us.
Joey: Thats right, $2,000.
Ross: Is thatare you saying yes? Is that yes?
Phoebe: Yeah, I know, I do that cause it makes me look taller.
MONICA: Exactly. Oh, I love that I can be totally neurotic around you now. Tell me the truth. Don't you like it better now that everything on your desk is perpendicular?
All: Oh, hey, don't do that! Cut it out!
Joey: Okay, but lets say there was. How might that go?
PHOEBE: But Joey, you're gonna be fine. You don't need that show, it was just a dumb soap opera.
Ross: Yes thats right.
(Phoebe gets up from the table, and while her back is turned, Rachel and Monica indicate via sign language that they each would have picked the other.)
(Joey is sleeping on the floor and is buried in sand that has been carved into a mermaid complete with breasts.)
Rachel/Ross: Ooh, your lips are so soft... Do that again... (and she/he moves in for another kiss. Joey, pushes her head away again...)
Phoebe: Why is Ross doing that?
Ursula: Wait! If umm, if you want to come, I guess thatd be okay.
Chandler: Why?! I mean if this guy was me and it was me who had learned that it was me who was the best you'd ever had, I'd be going like this. (He jumps up onto the table and starts doing his happy dance.)